X Factor Week 3 – Club Classics

X Factor Week 3

– Club Classics

This weeks theme is club classics.

Christopher Maloney

Star to fall – Boy Meets Girl

Atop a center platform, entered a  good opener, however needs a rise and fall. Rise should extend after the initial build up at “Trying” a little tired out afterwards was the song. Performed with heart, bright essence and good beginning to the show.

Warm cheese toastie – Nicole said. Louis mentioned it was club classics, cheesy and fun. Remembers buying it in 1988. Tulisa Contostavlos muttered acts were “finding feet for the first two weeks, though she didn’t “get it” in reference to his singing. Too cheesy. Rylan is fun cheese. Not fun for me Tulisa continued.

Maloney aimed to be “better than what am, that’s the show” responding to the emphasis on the shows ethos.

Maloney is favourite to leave the show tomorrow. Merseyside need to give “The people’s choice” a big vote.


Gypsy Woman – Crystal Waters / Pass Out – Tinie Tempah

Are not in the slightest bit “current” as they should be

Louis says they should “stick to something that makes them different.” The previous week Walsh made them sing a disjointed song that removed them of such identity.

What was it? Mash up section was terrible. If you need to do multiple songs in one – 1) it detracts from the one sole performance. 2)  Can’t be a good artist to rely on two styles, which also fail to gel together and Pass Out isn’t really a club classic.

Tulisa – Perfect song choice. Though didn’t like the Tinie Tempah part – cant do it unless own spin on it, she claimed. Better than that, she felt of the group. Gary Barlow – Impersonators, stick with something. No need for the mash ups. Nicole – frickin’ shamazing? Aiming to bust a move makes the show daft and a joke from Sherzinger. Louis said it was “fun” once more.

Needed edge back, amazing classic tune. Do you understand the word “classic?” It means, do not attempt.

Jahmene Douglas

Say a Little Prayer – Aretha Franklin

Awww. Another sob story instantly opens on Jahmene and his “thug” dad who abused his mother and was jailed. Because no one else has a rough life. Too shy and retracted isn’t going to sell records.

Awful opening. Completely removed every being of the song and its tone. Tried to make his own, fine, but ruined it all and attempts to do so.

Meek. Weak. Looked completely lost on stage and some random who stumbled on there instead. Only relying on a screech. No singing was involved. Not even good enough to be in a boy band. No identity, lack of style overall and missed the point of how to ‘do’ the song. Plus it wasn’t a club classic.

Ludicrous Louis, raising Nicole’s perplexed brow claimed Douglas was like Ray Charles. Louis, who mentored Jahmene lat week when Nicole was out of the country, said he was a “world class” star eventually. Contastavlos said he was “Adorable.” Amazing you are, she added. Your whole life build up to this moment. Jahmene started crying. GB – tough week. Being respectful with honest critique, said there was “no need to move.” Tulisa chipped in he was “here for a reason.”

Can’t handle it visibly. Sympathy vote again. That’s what carries him. Madonna, Coldplay, Queen, Michael Jackson and the world class stars never made it being a teary sympathy vote.

Jade Ellis

Free – Ultra Nate

Vocal problems halt rehearsals.

Wrong song. Didn’t fit tone of Jade’s voice. Ultra Nate was epic vocals to replicate and express, which Jade was unable to do from the get go. Awkward to watch. Felt ‘all over the place.’ Another safe performance, despite vocal ‘illness.’

GB – Safe but pretty good considering. NS – suck up to Brian Friedman nearby. No belief, she responded. Louis – every inch a superstar but not singing like one. No energy, nor passion, he said. Give more to last. Wasn’t enough.

You don’t know that yet, it’s not Sunday, Tulisa barked.

 You’ve had a rough week Louis continues.

 Tulisa interrupts again “not lost their voice, have they?”

Self-righteous opinion of egotism blocks professionalism.

James Arthur

Sexy and I Know It – LMFAO

Singing a club classic with a guitar in an acoustic manner, which negates the show’s weekly theme, destroyed reputation of both. Highly disinteresting. Dermot earlier claimed this week was meant to have you “getting up and dancing around your coffee tables.” Hardly.

It was just terrible, despite the fact Arthur can sing. Wrong week for the guitar. Wasted performance.

LW- deserve a record deal. TC – great rendition. “Fun” she spoke. GB- Amazing x3, while stating James “turned song on its head.” Performance of the series. Hmm. Well, hasn’t been much to go on, has there. NS – he has passion in his pants. Obsessed with sex and feeding those girls (and possibly boys) load of rubbish about encouraging sexual activity with each other, which devalues the show highly.

Union J

When Love Takes Over – David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland

They all look terrible, just LOOK at them enough.

Attempting another highbrow song. Who do they think they are? Ruining yet another classic after botching Queen in the first week, on a centred elevated platform just standing there, all 4 were off in vocals and confined to one space. There was no involvement in the ‘song’ and just going and touching fans hands in front row. It was safe, cheap, tacky and lowly in singing. They cannot sing and have made no improvement.

Inconsistent Tulisa harped it was a  “wicked performance.” (There was no performance, they were stationary.) Standing there only. GB – more harmony. NS – same as Gary. Cool and effortless. We agree with Nicole. It was effortless. They certainly  put no effort in. More energy from club classics week and not a ballad Nicole requested. LW- it’s working. The image.

Union J admitted they had “lots to work on.”

Rylan Clark

On the Floor – J Lo ft. Pitbull / Pleas don’t stop music –Rhianna /I See You Baby / (Shakin’ That Ass) – Groove Armada

Rylan, who isn’t a natural brunette and was originally brazen haired, wailed at his bearded being sheared. Once performing on stage had terrible vocals. Ridiculous shoulder pads. Stupid half cut body suit. Melding both songs together as a mash up then reverting to initial song was pointless, unnecessary and ridiculous. Mid-way through he spoke in the song once again “I’m so sorry for my behaviour  then proceeded to ‘sing’ I see you baby (shaking that ass.) Ended with a collapse with everyone covering him.

Walsh, sucking up to the ego once more assessed Rylan’s performance with – Another great Brian Friedman production. We need you in competition, says Louis who planned to vote off Rylan in the first week before a producer swiftly told him to save him instead.

Tulisa who was bitterly laughing at Gary childishly with a screech said Rylan was rusty but entertainment factor and she loved it for all the wrong reasons but always wanted to see it again, yet Tulisa voted him off in week 1 for a “singing competition.” Truthful Barlow added-  Ten talented people in competition, every week your here they get voted off. Best performer? You were actually the worst. NS – club classics and dancing, only one dancing and working a sweat, she campaigned. Rylan didn’t sing and cant just dance only. Notice how the weak ones only dance and the safe ones only sing ballads. X Factor is a mix of all and adapting to the framework of style, is it not, launched nine years ago? Or has it lost its own identity on what it is meant to achieve?

Barlow-gate. Louis and Richard chatting to save Rylan from leaving the show, sparking “Fix Factor”

Rylan responded – Not the best singer, I agree with Gary. Brian leaving this week!

At frickin’ last. Now you need to refresh the panel and sort out behind scenes production to fix the fix factor.

Dermot said it was over to “North London’s finest” as Contostavlos introduced an act.

Lucy Spraggan

Titanium – David Guetta feat Sia

After being removed from the hotel following a boozy, raucous night out with Rylan, her work ethic was under question.

Equipped with trademark guitar, doing the same thing over every week, Spraggan is typecast and won’t be anything other than same old and boring. She had a chance to change the format for a marketable audience and has completely missed the point on how to do it. It won’t sell mass records or make audiences go crazy overall in the future. Lucky to be a supporting act at Sainsbury’s store opening a supermarket.

GB – keep us guessing, clever as if you written it. NS – endearing about you is your lyrics. (They weren’t her lyrics.) You’re titanium, babe. LW – love your new hair, great storyteller, more fun off screen than on. TC – your allowed to mix play with work. Takes after mentor. Does she really? Tulisa, adding many traits to Spraggan’s repertoire yet to be proven, claimed she was – Artistic, a musician, like you said (from Louis) storyteller, brilliant performance.

Kye Sones

Save the World – Swedish House Mafia

Piano accompaniment was supportive. The Gothic scrapheap further enhanced talented capabilities Sones is with outcome being an excellent singer needed for the competition. People need to vote and save him, as he is the only contender left that may not get many votes due to age, which would be shambolic. Beautiful, lingering, sweet tones and perfect charisma with talented vocals.

NS – wanted it to be epic, and it was. Has meaning, honest, simple. Technically vocal, doesn’t bother me. How I feel is important, which highlights Nicole’s position as also inconsistent. The judging role is based on talent not feeling. LW – perfect performance. Amazing. Doubtful Tulisa agreed with Nicole. Kye, “is back.” Only way to go is up. GB – performed amazingly.

Dermot raised that his mentor gave them a “hard time.” Pushing acts with critique that helps improve is what helps people go further. Other judges are molly coddling their acts and they are putting in worse/lacking performances. We all make blips we need to learn from, and being told and learning to improve on them makes you stronger overall, when there is support and guidance on offer. #NoBS.


Beggin’ – Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons / Turn up the Music – Chris Brown

The boys having fun partying in Mahiki nightclub. Are they old enough? Even doing wrestling superstar John Cena’s “you can’t see me” wave proved how inadequate they are.

Beggin’ has already been done. Not exactly a club classic is it? Standing on an elevated platform in the middle again, saying one word over and not any high vocals. Bursting into turn up the music, one looks around to other band member for guidance. Dancer lifts a top up to steroytpe audience being a tart once more. No connection just three boys standing on stage, looking highly uncomfortable like puppets. Three Caucasian men sing another ‘RnB’ style.

TC – girls are attracted to you. Attracted to confidence, she added. They are not; they are attracted to looks and toned bodies, not brains. Girls are weak, as a result of this and wont amount to greatness in future life aspirations.

GB – A revelation since coming out of bottom two. Let loose a little. NS- Tulisa’s right. All about confidence. I saw abs, baby oil was ok.

Why don’t you just take your top off, Nicole? See the difference?

Louis – Now we have two new boybands, he claimed, whilst selling down his other band, you know that MK1 group.

Dermot then lifting top up again to show off abs. Pathetic. All one can do to get through. Plus, isn’t that over sexualising our kids, once again? Should anyone strategically place someone in that position?

Other group did exactly same arrangement. Second half was more clubby, but first and majority of song, was not. Terrible configuration.

Ella Henderson

You’ve got the Love – Candy Staton

With tense music akin to the showdown last year. Ella, dressed in speckley sequin frock sang fair but this is the problem. When acts stay safe in ballads, they become shelved, you must take risks but they won’t work one week because it is a process of training those styles. Many make mistakes of singing ballads, then a club theme then revert back to ballads because they have been shelved from changing styles.

Though this was a decent effort, still wasn’t any level of exceptional as perceived by all.

GB – Worried for you. Moving cheapens your act. Screaming Tulisa butts in-  she’s 16 have fun, move around. What professional behaves in this manner?

Louis branded his fellow judge a “chav” speaking of Tulisa

NS – some people can’t dance. Did them in 90s. Class act making a presence. Effortless. Find something but cant. (Check mine. It’s full of sense.) LW- she’s got X Factor, then, Louis acts should all go home? TC – who knew you could do up tempo HA HA HA. She’s sixteen! Let’s not forget that. Sympathy vote based on age? Is there any low Tulisa wont go?

Stand there or Move? The great debate. In this case Ella should move in the future, but Barlow’s point is that if she was standing there to sing, as she was, then she did not need to do a couple of arm wafts. If she was working the whole floor, then dancing is required, and Ella needs to do this sooner than later, if to prove not just a one hit wonder, ballad babe. Everyone in the biz does a ballad, meaning what future is there for you if you do same thing everyone else is?

Who-ey Walsh

With Dermot entering with a stunt double pre-recorded losing all touch with reality, Tulisa unable to make her own comments and opinions, based on everyone else’s on the panel to repeat, while childishly defending acts for her own ego to win instead of helping them develop into mature acts, Nicole being an over sexualised tart losing her credibility and Louis Walsh never having any, while honest Barlow being abused for helping acts, the whole attitude of the show, and daft pranks from Rylan, the show is forever remaining a disaster. This week, unable to stick to the format of a club theme to regain viewers and excite audience failed to understand it’s brief. There was one silver lining. One stain has left, but many more blot out the show and needs a serious overhaul with people who can save the show. Currently with the backstage politics and egos of judges all in alliance with one another, will prove costly to X Factor’s televised survival.


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