X Factor UK 2012 Week 6: Best of British

X Factor UK 2012

Week 6: Best of British

Madonn-icole. Very British…

X Factor UK’s sixth week of live turbulent waters ran live on the Saturday November 10th broadcast with national TV station ITV1. How would the show, plunged into crisis dredge itself out of the sinking pool of pitiful plight and maintain audience still with it while attempting to re-engage those that switched off or joined rival shows with interest instead?

This week’s theme was the “Best of British” recognising British artists and ground-breaking music from such phenomenal artists before the reality show hopefuls.

Beginning the show first was “people’s choice” Christopher Maloney.

Christopher Maloney

I’m still standing – Elton John

Liver pud Maloney proved to remain standing as the Over 28 category’s last hope for a talented performer suffering judge’s personal agenda of abuse and de-humanisation on the highest scale with negative press and executive meandering behind the scenes to hinder the 32 year olds progress.

Maloney performed the 80s classic with grace, confidence and charm. Maloney, who has an enriched voice and is improving every week as a potential winner of the show took opportunity to belt out a competent rendition with mood of song, tone and presence.

Reports alleged show henchman Simon Cowell had ordered all judges two weeks ago to personally berate Maloney despite whether he put on a good show or not. Judges Tulisa Contostavlos and Louis Walsh instantly abided, seemingly, and launched attacks, with Walsh claiming Maloney was “Tony Christie” at best whilst smiling with bitter intent. Tulisa chose to attack indirectly by aiming to chose mentor Gary Barlow which was about Maloney, as an intermedium. Nicole Scherzinger, on the end of the table, didn’t fully comply with onslaught but cheekily slipped in defamatories with “cheese” performances to Christopher’s musical renditions. Scherzinger repeatedly mentions this comment every week.

This week Walsh’s sheepish grin mid performance was ready to deliver from puppet master Cowell once again. He agreed on a “good song choice” though added “Like Nicole said, you’re the Karaoke King.”

Tulisa chimed in on relevance. A double standard many agree, though Contostavlos mouthed her concerns, claiming his songs were “old” as Maloney responded the Elton John era of the eighties was one that put British music into a competitive edge in the market as we know it today which in hindsight, has paved the way for the future of the music industry today. Even juvenile Tulisa wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for this “genre.” She added she was “getting bored” of saying the same thing every week. Spare a thought for the audience who have stated they “cannot bear Tulisa’s childish comments” nor “childish political play” as well as “he inability to judge” resulting in 4+ million switching off TV screens. Many initially assumed rival show Strictly Come Dancing was to blame for the dip in ratings, yet proven not to be the case after X Factor, which airs directly after Strictly to avoid timing clashes had viewers actually choose to steer away from the X ship.

Mentor Gary Barlow added his act gave a “Percussive Elton John sound” mentioning Maloney’s progression, extensive range of glorious coats and congratulated for a pleasing performance.

Coats Amaze. Sign him up there at least.

Jahmene Douglas

Angels – Robbie Williams

 

Giggly Jahmene was the next contestant released into the arena. Beginning an acapella introduction to the lyrics whilst backed up using a gospel choir, felt rather cheap. Jahmene, who still hasn’t sang a full song through and only playing safe to carry to the final with poor levels of attention, cheapened the act and its song. Songs used to be about how amazing the music was and then how the singer made that talent shine through. Now, the songs take a back seat and witness Jahmene attempt to mildly dumb down a song to come across to audience as cute, timid and nervous. Usually many say these qualities don’t make stars from this show. Everyone seems to have forgotten this.

Repetitive Louis Walsh said “star in the making” yet again.

Contradictive Tulisa added “took an old school classic and do it in this day and age. This is how you do it” after panning Maloney’s “old” song earlier.

Gary added “heard the song hundreds of times, never heard it sung like that before. Key to your success is simplicity. It’s what you leave out, not what you put in.” We cannot agree with this entirely. Douglas, performed this song we have all heard numerous times, granted, though it wasn’t in the slightest part monumental.

Over – sexual Scherzinger after her flustered turns claimed Jahmene was “unstoppable.” So was Steve Brookstein, the first male X Factor winner, under Simon Cowell’s mentorship.

District3

If I saw you in Heaven – Eric Clapton

Three random boys lacking direction. Admitting they felt “lost” in competition with favourable rival group Union J and short of mentor Louis attention as a result, proved Walsh’s out of touch communication, as Walsh considering epic songs like The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Coldplay, all outstanding groups that could not be carried and shouldn’t be attempted yet, if at all, saw District3 add their own options relevant to them. Walsh didn’t understand any song choices they gave in today’s market, also asking “how does that go?”

The performance of the trio began with a piano tinkering. With a pitiful sound and tacky way to achieve votes by sitting there and remaining to do virtually nothing with a couple of notes. This group doesn’t transcend any star qualities of being a star. Ruined the high rise note. Was a carry me song. Nicole started crying, later revealing it had a personal meaning. Should a judge be personal and weak? Theatrics are one notion of running the show, viewers express.

X Factor cheering one direction with adverts and trying to encourage audience back with them on programming billed around them. The One Direction audience are not the ones who left, it was those against who you neglected and should be winning back. How redundant.

Very Boring, no sound of singing from them, just humming along…

Youthful Tulisa said they were “three lovely, good looking lads. Beautiful harmonies.”

Barlow however, assessed their market after the show, questioning whether a record producer would consider this to be a breakout future group. Barlow respond – “is it you? Something has not got the edge.”

Ella Henderson

Written in the Stars – Tinie Tempah feat.

Good sound. Safe. Timid. Boring. No personality has ever been shown of Ella. Six weeks in and she still has none.

Louis Walsh wittered with his constant killer line stating Ella was “the best female singer we’ve had since Leona Lewis” Alexandra Burke must be fuming…

Rylan Clark

Say You’ll Be There/ Who do you think you are?/ Wannabe/Spice Up Your Life – The Spice Girls

Indecisive Rylan, with yet another fusion of hits in one sitting, chose to dive out of aeroplane akin to James Bond and the Queen’s 2012 London Olympic entrance. It was the most dismal disaster to ever grace an X Factor screen. Pathetic. It was cloudy in the morning with bright blue skies. Clark was then wired down into the nightly studio. Taking on Spice Girls and a medley, public met with “how dare you ruin classics like that?” You will NEVER come back from that. Lost all respect from audience.

TC – everyone loved it except for grumpy spice. Then not everyone enjoyed it…

GB – Fun factor? – fantastic. Vocals diabolical.

NS – (climbing up the table)

Some members of the LGBT community have raised concerns and want it mentioned. Having connections with various groupings, they asked for yours truly to explain the over extensive charade on show.

Don’t h8 on Rylan, yet Rylan is causing every gay man to become stereotyped and suffer future and further abuse now as a result of his over flamboyance. The LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bi and Transgender) community are NOT a reflection of a Rylan as every gay man, nor woman in this over expressive nature and is not causing general everyday abuse to those who are not Rylan, whose idol happens to be glamour model and serial datist for media exposure Katie Price.

Union J

Coldplay – Fix You

Tough note to start. Way off. ‘Harmonies’ shaky. Judges know.

Barely singing. Safe, cheap, cheesy, boring, numb and no sound of vocal talent. Look highly disconnected as a group. Four random singers. Gospel choir out again to help guide them to a sound. All over the place and can’t be taught. End is nigh. On borrowed time. Taking on another classic artist shows complete disregard and miseducation from the boys. You don’t start by singing huge songs you can’t handle just because you ‘like’ these groups. Falling flat on your face is your result. It’s also an insult to the performers before you.

TC- on a role nailed it again. Tulisa has one girl “only need one” only worry battle of boybands. Literally on fire with another, will it spilt votes? Good job.

GB – sang really well , pithing problems in blending. Needs rehearsal. NS – recognising men and heroes of US?????? Jaime so much soul, there was NO soul in that. Sympathy votes.

James Arthur

Hometown Glory – Adele

Best of British yet Nicole has one everything with America all evening and yellow taxis on screen. Guitar and dubstep.

“Love a bit of dubstep” Tulisa responded, adding, “embrace an act like yet, talented credible” not before mentioning she was “just happy to be on panel.” If I say I’d be happy on the panel, will Mr.Cowell hire me in excess of hundreds of thousands of pounds?

GB – no one cover songs except for you. Work in progress, you’re ready now.

NS – Nicole leaned forward with a breast shake.

One Direction

 Some Pre-recorded song

One Direction’s pre-recorded performance, filmed a month ago when they were last on the X Factor was screened. It was a terrible choice to conduct for the show.

This weekend, the show spent money to advertise the week show because of One Direction being on it. Firstly they weren’t on it, and second, they were not the audience X Factor needed to regain as the One Direction fanbase, which the show is geared towards and cost ratings, have already been with the show. It is those they neglected to re-capture who have left, meaning X Factor completely embarrassed themselves with amounts of advertising on an audience already tuning in and not the one that left. What a mess.

Plus having the band shown on Saturday’s show ruined all the others on it. Talk about lost the plot. Seriously in crisis…

With Scherzinger an oversexual disgrace mounting tables turning fans literally off, and Tulisa’s childish behaviour mixed with Louis Walsh over stench of mediocrity and hypocritical abusive put downs to stars on stage and Barlow, the only truthful saving grace potentially leaving while he has dignity in tact has failed the audience once again from the top. They have no clue how to change for the better and re-encourage audience back. Everyone can be won back if you bother and use the correct strategy, which all involved have missed enforcing.

Last week we had intended to write a show review, though was busy. In the time after, Strictly Come Dancing was on BBC iPlayer, a catch up online TV service instantly. On the following Sunday, ITV had still failed to upload X Factor on its mirrored service ITV Player. It did not upload the show for the whole week. Absoluteness disgraceful. Worse, the X Factor USA show, shown AFTER the UK version was indeed available on Sunday.

If X Factor/ITV cannot be bothered than why should we stress ourselves for their blatant laziness whilst being paid bucket loads to provide a service? Utter Shambles. There is no excuse.

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