X Factor UK 2012 Week 7: Guilty Pleasures

X Factor UK 2012

Week 7: Guilty Pleasures

After a pathetic, 24 TV drama style recap of last week’s drama of Louis Walsh failing to vote, the show, which showed no follow up nor point to this recap on screen was a waste of production time. It had no speech, no engagement and no relevance. How far backward are the show producers? Hire someone to fix it, i.e, me. What else have you got to lose, except millions of viewers? Alas, beginning the show were last week’s bottom two stars.

Union J

Call me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepson

Not exactly a “guilty pleasure” seeing as it was a massive hit in its own right for Carly Rae Jepson, however Union J felt they were big enough to tackle another epic song, recently released over the last year.

The performance was utterly dry and absent of any singing with vocals highly strained in a terrible fashion and uninteresting whilst adding a batch of boring context to the mix. There was no star buzz, intrigue or quality in talent and song power. Do them a favour tonight and let their bubble burst. Stood on a box again.

It was revealed on Xtra Factor afterwards that Union J already have a manager, which means that they have a manager. They firstly didn’t sing well for votes and secondly are conning the system of the show as they will have some bookings in their “career” afterwards, proving they are cheating the show. One Direction last year were signed by Simon Cowell when there were four acts left to the end, which now saw them go on to have a career despite ego of said judge wanting to win as the first group and with them. They came in third on the show of their year.

Lame.

Ella Henderson

You’re the one that I want – John Travolta and Olivia Newton

Calling her song on a stage at Disney World in Paris a “gig” which was actually a performance on stage, was not her fault, as the show told ‘em all to say “gig.” Starting with a slow one word linger for long time and safe vocal speaking in tune, the acapella version with piano keys behind was rather dormant and more speech than song. A transcribed tune. You might say. Brief melody and a big shout moment near the end over halfway through which was just a shout and no actual interest, until a long lasting one note held at end for the ‘big’ finish. It was simply a nothing performance.

Nicole – didn’t touch me. Didn’t like song choice but you made it work. Slowed down then picked up. Voice sounded glorious. You have so much fire.

There was no spark or up tempo.

Also, did someone forget that this was a duet song? Ella, was alone.

Louis – that was electrifying for me. You’re gonna sell millions and millions of records Louis continually adds. Whilst talking to his co-judge “and Mrs. Wag” as Tulisa interrupts with “WAF- was already famous”, Tulisa says. As long as it wasn’t waft from the fag ash breath. Whew!

The young judge added “take a cheesy classic and make it a classic. Little star.”

Same old words every year. Get a new script, but, that won’t change anything. Some of these judges are warped in their own principals of ego and “their acts” and not the music.

Boring.

James Arthur

Can’t take My Eyes off of You – Andy Williams

There’s James Arthur. With his guitar. Again.

Another acoustic sing through with vocals more than an actual beat or sound of music and just vocal with guitar made it ever more boring and lacking in star potential, despite glowing reviews, there Is no standout spark as Nicole, playing it down to ‘hold something better for next week’ may indeed cost in the long run with sustained longevity. At this rate will have one year in the business at best. Needs to procure longevity than reliance on survival on a show.

LW – song was a bit safe, you’re already gonna get a record deal, because you deserve it.

TC – one of your most cool-est credible artists. Like going down Camden to find the next cool-est, credible artist.

Yes she did just say that twice.

Gary, who said “putting my act aside” meaning other than his own act, choosing someone on the flip side of the other categories, rather than being biased. It wasn’t a trip of words but the audience at home are uneducated at listening and understanding, whilst caught up in the mass distraction of the show to think for one iota of a second.

He said of James Arthur – “I want you to win this competition.” aside from his act. No other judge is willing to play ball and be honest of picking another category member. Respect him for that.

NS – Cliché Nicole said “we can’t take our eyes off of you,” mesmerizing.

Boring.

Rylan Clark

Girls on Film – Duran Duran / When will I be famous –  Bros

A picture paints a thousand words.

Rylan enters in what looks like a trashy, cheap salon, come back alley house in the red light district for a 2012 Blade Runner installment. Only problem is this wasn’t a Ridley Scott production. It looked terrible. Cheap and tacky, but what of the singing or even the entertainment on offer?

Dead crowd.

Entertainer Rylan, whose real name was revealed last week actually as Ross, failed to enthuse a quietened crowd and couldn’t barely encourage them throughout, even when pleasing for their help mid performance.

If you can only ever do a mash up every song, it proves you have nothing to your repertoire and need cheap gimmicks to carry you #XFactor

TC – not one of my favourites. Comedown from last week.

GB – good news is you are famous, bad is give it a couple of months. This is going nowhere, for me. It’s getting worse, vocals not improving, got to be over now surely.

NS – Every week you’ve taken risks. I want everyone to pick up the phone and vote for Rylan.

Time for OFCOM to investigate!

RC – never ever said I was best competition. This is a live performance. Most people “mime” that was just a pitiful comeback. You are not a star. You won’t be Madonna or Carly Rae Jepson. I was in the sing off two weeks ago where I proved I can sing.

Two weeks ago, Rylan, in the sing off did NOT sing and only produced SOUND with NO vocal singing and a couple of words only.

Lippy Rylan, who bit back at Gary, who was a charming sport about the matter, did prove the childish behaviour and being a ‘rebel’ is what, according to voters, causes him to remain in the competition only.

Makes it a shameful disgrace to Britain and everyone in it. It just makes you sigh, switch off and feel depressed about Britain’s legitimacy, or “legacy” if you will. It is just tedious.

Sha-maze balls. – NS.

Tedious.

Christopher Maloney

Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler

Rockin’ those coats AND looks a star.

Strong opening, rising further in vocals. Has made the greatest transition and improvement and kept his vocals collected towards the end to prove a romper stomping force to all in the contest. Louis ready to pounce with attack. Tulisa jotting down a few notes.

Nicole, (as is Simon Cowell, who wants a boy to win the show this year) realising potential threat to her X Factor ego crown, said of Maloney – “Wow, that was a, lot, to take in.” “Life sized portrait of your face and laser of your eyes shining through. Really creepy. Other than that you sound nice.”

Wow, nice…

Louis – cannot knock you. Must be doing something right. TC – all established I won’t be buying the album (loud boos) for genre you do, consistent, vocals consistent. Admit defeat, sit back and listen to the song.

Gary said – Glad everyone’s talking about what’s going on behind you. Not your fault, not mine.

Someone’s over inflated head may have put Maloney’s up there. Everyone understands in showbiz expanding images of one is a tactic to sway opinion in a positive or negative context by choosing “creepy” images to attempt a derailment of someone who is silencing critics, despite their reluctance to acknowledge.

Backstage politics to ruin Maloney from winning as Cowell wants one of the three Boys to win for mass exposure. Can’t fault his voice so try to cut his performance down with staging, how the song was cut in parts to try and throw viewers off and downcast his popularity. Show insiders have been plotting to find ways to prevent Maloney from winning, which is also borderline victimisation which should be looked into by regulators.

Credible.

Jahmene Douglas

Don’t Leave Me This Way – Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes

Wa-hhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Is every song acapella and boring tonight? Stood on raised podium was highly uncomfortable and exposed. Lingered on one and another big notes and didn’t shoot them that high to be honest. And the burst into party flowing theme did not even happen, despite the attempt of making this a song of such proportion. It was timid, plain and boring. It was just a performance and not that at best. There has been no stand out qualities shown over the course, which is just shocking.

TC – running out of ways every week to kiss your butt.

GB – your talent is ridiculous, you’re a great singer.

NS – call those ad-libs, Jah-jazzles. Fought through it like every week.

Theatrics.

There was no fight, it was a stand and sing and just get the key notes out only.

Strictly goes Wembley, X Factor goes Disney…

Dermot keeps calling him Ryland, while Tulisa and Walsh have a personal joke that failed to please anyone else at Gary Barlow’s expense. Grow up.

Jahmene’s screams of sound are not thrilling in the slightest. Leading them down the wrong path is not something a mentor should do because then that shows the mentor has lost their own understanding of what to do and only in it for a glorified purpose. When there’s a doubter, the show used to figure a way of silencing critics, now its approach is if you don’t like it leave, well viewers have done exactly that.

Has a hand in running things, but how much tonight?

Empty words from Tulisa. No star quality nor special appeal from any one. Barely any standing out. All been carried, and those are the ones the X Factor show specifically hunted down and ASKED them to audition for the show. Half of the 12 contestants who made the finals at Week 1 of live shows were hunted by the show and asked to come to auditions, with an underlying ‘guaranteed’ continuation to live shows. Christopher Maloney was not one of them and voted in by the public.

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