Dear Deandre #4

Girls want Playas

“Girls I date only seem to want a**holes. I treat them well, so why can’t I find someone who wants me to treat them right?”

flirt

For some people it is the thrill of the chase. For others they want someone they feel is tough to protect them and all that. Women are told, and feel that they are as week as sociological texts suggest. Going off on tangents and unable to deal with issues a manly way is difficult for them to deal with. Being a man isn’t about punching someone out and you understand this. There are many women who want a stable, supportive and caring gentleman above all else, it is just difficult to find them today, and vice versa. Don’t give up, continue to maintain your dignity and remain a gent. Your morals with override asshole’s anyday, it just takes time. The real secret to a woman’s heart, and what every relationship craves no matter how awkward is a partnership of trust, dignity and faith.

Ex Pal made me reveal cheating

“I had a stupid one night stand with a bloke in a club four years ago who turned out to be my best friends boyfriend. It didn’t mean anything. My friend split up with this guy anyway. I’m 30 and gay and my boyfriend is 29.”

cheating

it is a shame that you felt you could not tell your boyfriend yourself and your friend had the moral approach instead of you. Despite your excuse of years ago, you had still kept that secret and would have if your friend didn’t place pressure onto you. You should have been honest and should do so in the future with any partner. Your friend should not have been too full on, but felt they were doing the right thing. Again, you should have avoided this yourself and explained it earlier. Now you have revealed everything you can tell your pal that your fella knows and they can leave you alone if you wish for this. They have no attachment left to you anymore. If your partner has accepted and prepared to move on with or without you, and if your friend continues involvement after you have explained the situation to him, they cannot feasibly have claim to be involved whatsoever. You can understand their hurt as you were cheating on your friend too. Perhaps you can have a heart to heart with him if you truly are sorry. If you meet up go for a coffee or something in a public place. If you value your five year relationship, you have a lot of ground to (re) cover in making it up to him.

Family Affair

“I think my boyfriend is having sex with his mum but he just says i am being silly. I am 16 and he is 20. We have been together for six months. His mum split up with his dad a year ago. He went to have a shower, when I asked him if he’d finished I heard his mums voice. She was naked in the shower. I heard his mum go into the room around midnight and she was there for over an hour. I could hear noises like sex going on. She said she was tucking him in.”

cuddle

Technically the law does state incest is illegal and though certain people find it deplorable, this is on the rise in many households around Britain. There can be many reasons for this but a separation and close comforting bond as strong as theirs can tie them together. If you wish to report this you are able to do so but it will be traced back to you as their is no one else who could feasibly have done so. If you do, you will have to shoulder the responsibility. Your response is clear that you wish to leave this relationship. If you report hoping to remove the mother and get the guy then that is a fairy-tale without a happy ending. You will have removed his mother from his life and there will be no forgiveness for that. Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and explain what he is doing is wrong and that he should stop this or perhaps ask for some advice on how to stop his mother. The action is consensual and they are both adults, but it is difficult for a young boy growing sexually to refuse sexual activity, nor from his mother who has a position of power and authority in their household.

Wasting salary on Porn

“I spend my money on Porn. I work hard and I am a 23 year old guy  and when I get home I can’t help but look at porn. I spend more on chat lines and the girls don’t really please me.”

money burn

This is a common phase with people growing up. These are called hormonal impulses. Many watch porn and can have healthy lives alongside it. You should try to stop spending on the chat lines as you are not really getting any gratification as you express. You can watch porn and keep boundaries with it, but phonelines can be addictive, however this does not make you a sex addict. Testosterone adds these feelings naturally to us as men and you are in no way abnormal. You are simply single and free of commitments. Take some time to deal with your daily lifestyle and when your urges arrive to have a time for sexual pleasure, make time for yourself but try to reduce the overtime so that it doesn’t fully dominate your every decisions. Being alone, a man with testosterone and in a broken society means it is safer to engage in these actions in your household and is also regarded as health by sex health professionals. because you have not had a partner, the porn is the next available thing when you have urges. This is healthy and shouldn’t be demonised. Not everyone has the ability to go outside for financial or even social reasons. Your shyness is a problem and lack of friends has cut you off but you should try interacting with others more, or perhaps visit a self help section and find a book on overcoming shyness in a library or bookstore. It may seem drastic but this guidance could help you and there is no shame with finding your drive in life alongside a healthy sex drive. Sex is a natural order.

Groping friend a nightmare

“One of my boyfriends pals keeps touching me and saying extremely inappropriate things. I am 21,  female and have been with my guy for six months. He always made it obvious that he likes me.”

touching

If it is making you feel uncomfortable then this is extremely inappropriate. You need to tell them to stop doing that as hard as it may be for you. If this fails you may need to report this behaviour before it has a chance to escalate. You must be clear that you do not condone these actions and that you do not like this and you are not a free for all grab bag unless you give intentions, of which you suggest you are not , but if you have then you should outline it isn’t acceptable any longer and makes you feel awkward. This pal also has no regard for his friendship with his pal and you should inform your boyfriend with direction to leave it alone and part ways from this guy if boundaries cannot be kept. Your body is yours and yours alone and no one has the right to take advantage of this.

Pals don’t get why I’m not up for sex

“Since I was very young, I have known that I am asexual. I have never had the urge to have sex. I don’t desire it and can happily live without it. It kind of repulses me. I am a woman of 25 and people say I am pretty. I get plenty of male attention and don’t want it.”

no sex

Some of us do not feel the rampant urge to fornicate every split second. However this does not mean we do not have a sex drive. It could be mild stress or anxiety that halts your drive into engaging with real encounters and no desire for instant attractions. You clearly value a longer, and more stable communication with passion and time to know someone and more of a dater than anything else. Look for some dates if you wish but not jumping onto the charge of sex every second is commendable and tasteful. Don’t let others make you feel any less desirable but also don’t fall into a possible trap of despising those who have other sexual needs. It is good that sex does not define you as a newer, younger generation are enarmoured by. Attitudes to sex have changed because advertising and parenting have toned down stability and allowed it to progress for lack of discussing the issues in an open forum. You may enjoy political texts as well as going outdoors to witness nature in a fuller content context.

IMAGES

funnypik

gmrpr.wordpress

growyourbusinessnetwork

criticalissuesinlit

telegraph

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Dear Deandre #4

Girls want Playas

“Girls I date only seem to want a**holes. I treat them well, so why can’t I find someone who wants me to treat them right?”

flirt

For some people it is the thrill of the chase. For others they want someone they feel is tough to protect them and all that. Women are told, and feel that they are as week as sociological texts suggest. Going off on tangents and unable to deal with issues a manly way is difficult for them to deal with. Being a man isn’t about punching someone out and you understand this. There are many women who want a stable, supportive and caring gentleman above all else, it is just difficult to find them today, and vice versa. Don’t give up, continue to maintain your dignity and remain a gent. Your morals with override asshole’s anyday, it just takes time. The real secret to a woman’s heart, and what every relationship craves no matter how awkward is a partnership of trust, dignity and faith.

Ex Pal made me reveal cheating

“I had a stupid one night stand with a bloke in a club four years ago who turned out to be my best friends boyfriend. It didn’t mean anything. My friend split up with this guy anyway. I’m 30 and gay and my boyfriend is 29.”

cheating

it is a shame that you felt you could not tell your boyfriend yourself and your friend had the moral approach instead of you. Despite your excuse of years ago, you had still kept that secret and would have if your friend didn’t place pressure onto you. You should have been honest and should do so in the future with any partner. Your friend should not have been too full on, but felt they were doing the right thing. Again, you should have avoided this yourself and explained it earlier. Now you have revealed everything you can tell your pal that your fella knows and they can leave you alone if you wish for this. They have no attachment left to you anymore. If your partner has accepted and prepared to move on with or without you, and if your friend continues involvement after you have explained the situation to him, they cannot feasibly have claim to be involved whatsoever. You can understand their hurt as you were cheating on your friend too. Perhaps you can have a heart to heart with him if you truly are sorry. If you meet up go for a coffee or something in a public place. If you value your five year relationship, you have a lot of ground to (re) cover in making it up to him.

Family Affair

“I think my boyfriend is having sex with his mum but he just says i am being silly. I am 16 and he is 20. We have been together for six months. His mum split up with his dad a year ago. He went to have a shower, when I asked him if he’d finished I heard his mums voice. She was naked in the shower. I heard his mum go into the room around midnight and she was there for over an hour. I could hear noises like sex going on. She said she was tucking him in.”

cuddle

Technically the law does state incest is illegal and though certain people find it deplorable, this is on the rise in many households around Britain. There can be many reasons for this but a separation and close comforting bond as strong as theirs can tie them together. If you wish to report this you are able to do so but it will be traced back to you as their is no one else who could feasibly have done so. If you do, you will have to shoulder the responsibility. Your response is clear that you wish to leave this relationship. If you report hoping to remove the mother and get the guy then that is a fairy-tale without a happy ending. You will have removed his mother from his life and there will be no forgiveness for that. Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and explain what he is doing is wrong and that he should stop this or perhaps ask for some advice on how to stop his mother. The action is consensual and they are both adults, but it is difficult for a young boy growing sexually to refuse sexual activity, nor from his mother who has a position of power and authority in their household.

Wasting salary on Porn

“I spend my money on Porn. I work hard and I am a 23 year old guy  and when I get home I can’t help but look at porn. I spend more on chat lines and the girls don’t really please me.”

money burn

This is a common phase with people growing up. These are called hormonal impulses. Many watch porn and can have healthy lives alongside it. You should try to stop spending on the chat lines as you are not really getting any gratification as you express. You can watch porn and keep boundaries with it, but phonelines can be addictive, however this does not make you a sex addict. Testosterone adds these feelings naturally to us as men and you are in no way abnormal. You are simply single and free of commitments. Take some time to deal with your daily lifestyle and when your urges arrive to have a time for sexual pleasure, make time for yourself but try to reduce the overtime so that it doesn’t fully dominate your every decisions. Being alone, a man with testosterone and in a broken society means it is safer to engage in these actions in your household and is also regarded as health by sex health professionals. because you have not had a partner, the porn is the next available thing when you have urges. This is healthy and shouldn’t be demonised. Not everyone has the ability to go outside for financial or even social reasons. Your shyness is a problem and lack of friends has cut you off but you should try interacting with others more, or perhaps visit a self help section and find a book on overcoming shyness in a library or bookstore. It may seem drastic but this guidance could help you and there is no shame with finding your drive in life alongside a healthy sex drive. Sex is a natural order.

Groping friend a nightmare

“One of my boyfriends pals keeps touching me and saying extremely inappropriate things. I am 21,  female and have been with my guy for six months. He always made it obvious that he likes me.”

touching

If it is making you feel uncomfortable then this is extremely inappropriate. You need to tell them to stop doing that as hard as it may be for you. If this fails you may need to report this behaviour before it has a chance to escalate. You must be clear that you do not condone these actions and that you do not like this and you are not a free for all grab bag unless you give intentions, of which you suggest you are not , but if you have then you should outline it isn’t acceptable any longer and makes you feel awkward. This pal also has no regard for his friendship with his pal and you should inform your boyfriend with direction to leave it alone and part ways from this guy if boundaries cannot be kept. Your body is yours and yours alone and no one has the right to take advantage of this.

Pals don’t get why I’m not up for sex

“Since I was very young, I have known that I am asexual. I have never had the urge to have sex. I don’t desire it and can happily live without it. It kind of repulses me. I am a woman of 25 and people say I am pretty. I get plenty of male attention and don’t want it.”

no sex

Some of us do not feel the rampant urge to fornicate every split second. However this does not mean we do not have a sex drive. It could be mild stress or anxiety that halts your drive into engaging with real encounters and no desire for instant attractions. You clearly value a longer, and more stable communication with passion and time to know someone and more of a dater than anything else. Look for some dates if you wish but not jumping onto the charge of sex every second is commendable and tasteful. Don’t let others make you feel any less desirable but also don’t fall into a possible trap of despising those who have other sexual needs. It is good that sex does not define you as a newer, younger generation are enarmoured by. Attitudes to sex have changed because advertising and parenting have toned down stability and allowed it to progress for lack of discussing the issues in an open forum. You may enjoy political texts as well as going outdoors to witness nature in a fuller content context.

IMAGES

funnypik

gmrpr.wordpress

growyourbusinessnetwork

criticalissuesinlit

telegraph

Leave a Reply

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