UK TV Review 22/03/14 – 30/03/14

Missed Last Week’s TV? Well, we caught a few programs so you didn’t have to. Here’s the best (or worse) of the week.




The Voice UK, BBC1

Saturday evening’s reality TV slice offered The Voice UK. After reaching the semi finals and whittling teams down to two on each, it was all too hard, blotchy and constrained to watch. The two hour show was heavy, boring and tired out. More of the dominating story was the revelation new series coach Kylie Minogue, now known by the BBC as Kylie, decided to leave next year. Committed to her new tour dates alone which take up much time, the show plans to schedule around Kylie’s schedule. This then prompted to claim he’d leave if Kylie did. Then Ricky Wilson, (yeah, i know) claimed he would go too if she left. Earlier revealed by media weeks ago was the case that Ricky was likely to be booted off by the producers. Even Sir Tom Jones wasn’t allowed off the hook. Producers backstage are annoyed of his one word niceties and being too empty and boring. One things for sure, this show is slowly evaporating on UK shores, which proves two things. One, the BBC have no clue how to handle a reality TV, especially a sing off show. Two, the show just can’t seem to survive being boring and running out of steam. Institutions as such are always the one’s who ruin a show. Britain doesn’t have a clue how to run it, because, simply put, all the wrong people are behind the production desk. And so, a show will simply lose its core soon enough. Don’t worry though, X Factor won’t be gloating for long either. That’s on borrowed time.

Rev, BBC2

On Monday Rev returned. A comedy series featuring a reverend. Played by not the average actor, Tom Hollander, who manages to make the role his own and is pleasing to watch for thirty minutes. Adding to the dry, subtle comedic value is partner and mother of their child, Olivia Coleman. All round thumbs up on this one so far.

Shop Secrets, Channel 4

Shop secrets exposes the techniques how shop and market traders con buyers into parting with bundles of cash by telling them interesting little fibs. Telling a customer the fashion is “vintage” and “this season” in fashion, among other trades, this is interesting and yet annoying at times. So far its bearable, but should stick to being focused than pic and mix in a sweet shop.

Mary Berry Cooks, BBC2

After a quick flick over whilst looking for anything else, before the end of the show, we manage to see old pastry chef from the 1940s Mary Berry pop in, well, berries, into a flange filled roulade. What an image that was. 😮

The Missing, Channel 4

Wednesday gave us a more meaningful documentary following the lives of loved ones searching for people in their lives who have disappeared. One wasn’t found, another was and wished to remain away from his previous roots escaped from and the other a mystery partner abandoning their car. It’s a little like US drama Without A Trace.

Compelling and tender this was strong. Some families can be abusive and drive loved one’s away. Others do not wish to be found or associated with their former hardship once broken free. Some cannot help their disappearance while others sadly take their own lives. Most tend to leave of their own accord due to either domestic or emotional in house abuse. The rest disappear or remove themselves because of the harsh and evil benefit reforms or welfare cuts as they are known from a foreboding and unforgivable government abusing common folk. This should teach you one thing if you love someone dearly. Don’t vote in someone you know will willingly ruin your life which you know will happen if you tick their box. You really don’t know what you have until it is gone. Then, it is too late. Value your family, whether it is close friends or relatives that make it so. You only have one set.

Auf Wiedersehen, My Pet, ITV1

On Wednesday dog owner Tim had to face an agonising choice to give up his beloved pet pooch, Baloo. Unable to give him the support and time due to his heavy work schedule, Tim selected his Staffordshire bull terrier to a new home. This show however, meets three hopefuls vying for the well trained, loveable mutt. Faced with a legal secretary, wannabe dog owner with a young family and retired couple with previous dogs, we can say Tim made the right choice. He chose the legal secretary. Usually a typical and daft programme genre ITV cook up on the fly, this was actually a good show, granted it was one episode caught. We’ll have to see if it has further value down the road. Though ITV are now forcing viewers to register an account on its catch up service ITVPlayer to watch recaps. Laughable management will not make people sign up to watch based on demands over free will. Change it back to free with the option, or lose your custom base. Commercialisation with dictation does not work and only ever ruins your reputation.

Mammon, More 4

If you like Scandinavian/Nordic drama’s this could interest you. A new, eerie and smooth drama with fictional setting that instantly captivates. The Norwegian import is another in the line of dramas such as The Killing and Salamander. Many however, might be put off to read subtitles on a Friday evening after a long week of work.

And so Sunday arrives once more, with nothing available (again.)

As it goes, this week was quite empty and boring, TV wise. With all these channels, why is it so difficult to have interesting content? It’s not difficult. Or maybe it is for some. Maybe this means old formats are past it which drive TV to online stations or new content elsewhere. TV may be around for eternity, but it may means less reliance is moving forward from it. Put something good on, and all will be forgiven.


Billy Howard

Tory woman deports daughter on Mother’s Day


Today, Tory MP and Home Office Secretary Theresa May issued a warrant to Yashika Bageerathi,19 to be deported from the United Kingdom. The demands to vacate the country or be “forcibly removed” came into effect on Sunday 30th March 2014.

The Tory MP, which is the common name for a Conservative party politician in the UK, claimed the Mauritian mathematician leave the country. Yashika must leave without her parents who are allowed to remain in the UK. The daughter received a place at Queen Mary’s University to continue her educational work, gaining flying grades in Mathematical qualifications.

The shadow immigration minister urged for a hasty review into the case where Yashika’s deportation comes into effect on Tuesday. On Saturday, over one hundred people held a demonstration in Westminster, at the Home Office, in support of Yashika including friends from her eduction establishments. She fled to the UK seeking refuge after claiming threats of domestic violence in her home country, involving drugs and an attempt at sexual assault. Yashika who added she was “extremely frightened” was held in a detention centre in Yarl’s Wood for 42 days in December and resent again last Wednesday.

She will be treated as a separate case from her family, including brother and sister, as she is a consenting adult at the legal age of 18. One spokesman for the Home Office said “The UK has a proud history of granting asylum to those who need it and we consider every application on its individual merits. We do not routinely comment on individual cases.”

In order for government and the Home Office to consider cases you must lodge a petition. Then you require 100,000 signatures to be considered to be listened to. Majority cases are then said to be thrown out anyway if those in charge dislike the political heat of a campaign or subject matter involved to their personal policies. Yashika’s campaign, launched by her school peers grew from 17,000 on Monday to 130,000 today. May is married with no children.

You can find details and sign the petition at –

Campaigners are also using the Twitter hashtags -#SaveYashika and #FightForYashika .

She was due to catch a flight yesterday afternoon but managed to stay after British Airways refused to let her on board.

Yashika claims the people threatening her in her home country know her and she has been receiving calculating death threats. If the airline did not refuse her access, Yashika would have returned by now to a hostile situation.

Britain is usually a helpful nation that claims it does not send anyone back into hostile territory in any circumstance involving abuse of any kind in any sector, not just immigration. Since the Conservative government took office, four years ago, huge numbers have been said to change that ideal.

Earlier last year May implemented the controversial ‘Go Home vans.’ This was an attempt at kerbing immigration in the UK by adding posters on sandwich boards on vans travelling around London. They read ‘Go Home’ informing that migrants must leave the country to persuade them to leave wilfully and decrease immigration numbers. After receiving backlashes of being racist and political fanaticism, the Tory MP added they would not be rolled out through the country, which was scheduled at a later date.

May has also been involved in many bungled scandals in her four years as Home Office Secretary, including the Abu Qatada deportation costing taxpayers millions not to and then deporting him, failing to listen to and support campaigns for female genital mutilation, the David Miranda abuse, deporting a lesbian, Jackie Nanyonjo to Uganda, to be killed, Hilal Al Jedda, Abbas Yazdi, asperger’s and mentally ill hunger strike patients suffering pain and Richard O’Dwyer, a man who launched a TV streaming site online. Over 70% disagreed with May’s actions in the O’Dwyer case.

The Metropolitan police described May as “the only woman in the Conservative Party” to which May and Tories took high offence.

In mid 2013, May said Human Rights “must be scrapped.” In 2010 she held the position of Minister for Women and Equalities. She was reshuffled to Home Office secretary in late 2012. Mother’s Day in the UK falls on Sunday March 30th 2014.



Evening Standard

Wavy Seals test water for intuitive noise pollution

A new method for discovering the extremes of noise pollution has been put to the test. In a new level of research for marine life, seals are being used to calculate the levels of noise pollution in surrounding seawater. Scientists have also placed specially adapted headphones on the animals to test the soundwaves.



Biologists and researches were concerned regarding the acoustic emissions from wind turbines in the North and Baltic sea, in particular. Professor Ursula Siebert, who claims an increase in noise pollution from the seas through shipping, construction work and sound cannons whilst on the search for oil explained “In order to assess the effects of underwater noise on animals, scientists need accurate data on their hearing. Seals are important because they are some of the most common marine mammals in the North and Baltic Seas” she adds.

However, some animal rights groups and activists will find this hard to endorse, researchers believe this method is effective to plant a better future of ocean life.

The last study of seals was some forty years ago with sensitivity recorded at roughly 4kHz. Five males and one female seal were used in the test study, conducted in Germany and Poland’s rehabilitation centres. They were either in bad health or abandoned. The marine mammals were also sedated to help with the ease of research in conjunction with their movements. The seals are trained to give a signal when they hear a sound relayed into the water via hydrophones. A second study is likely to be rolled out to the University of Southern Denmark.

While this may be a new way to gather research is it acceptable to conduct such practice with the funky gadgets? We would give this the thumbs up, for now. With minimal subjects used and in such careful manner it would seem little harm has been caused and can help research move forward extensively. Though we do not wish to see every mammal in the ocean abused for the sake of a research race by academics, done in a careful and throughout process is an achievable success.

Maybe the real question is why have we failed to adapt to and encourage research over such a long timeframe? Join in and let us know your views below. It seems that some of the most intelligent species in the water are the best way forward to seek successful information. Maybe humans are becoming continually obsolete within forty years. Scary thought.

Maybe musician Seal can do a duet at some point.




This week’s top 5 tunes.

This week’s top 5 tunes

Need some uplifting tunes to chillout, relax or groove to?

Here, in an exclusive and original series first here on FalseFabs here’s this week’s 5 for you all. (In no particular order.)

1. Duke Dumont feat Jax Jones – I Got U

Topping the #1 spot in the official charts this Sunday is the beautiful and rapturous sound of I Got U. If anyone knows or thinks they know the location of the area, send a comment or tweet. Thanks.

2. Paloma Faith – Just can’t Rely on You

Soul, smooth and powerful in a non traditional glory.

3. Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne- Rather Be

Cheery, smooth singalong in the cultural fish markets of Japan, this sound will be sure to lift your spirits.

4. Wilkinson – Afterglow

Need a light but tender hangover cure? This is it.

5. Gossip – Move in the right Direction

Some instant get-up and go with a dash of inspiration.




Brave Boys battle Cancer with Cock in a Sock craze

The newest craze for charity is sweeping the globe. After the recent weeks seeing mass highlights of breast charities among others, a new one has steeped up to the plate.

Bearing a broad mind, Instagram has been host to a number of uploaded images to support the charity cause, Balls to Cancer. Men of all ages, particularly the age bracket it most affects, have began posting snaps wearing a ‘C*ck in a Sock.’


Done all in good taste for the charity guys aim to help raise awareness of the male problem, which affects 20 to 39 year olds in the US and UK.

75-80,000 cases are diagnosed in the United States each year. The UK average is roughly 2000.


Even older gents are getting in on the action. No one at FalseFabs has decided to adopt the policy however, we support the cause. We cannot stress the importance for guys to head to the local doctor or health service to get checked and dealt with. The quicker dealt with the more likely the help is available to treat it. With men having a difficult time discussing such issues with doctor’s hopefully this will help to ease the predicament of discussing private parts in intimate settings.

upside down

We’re not going to show the snaps on here, although we could, we respect the privacy of users and would politely seek their approval, though most media will grab anything for a peek. That’s not what it’s about. Plus we haven’t had the time to ask others for their approval to use the images in this context. Though we have scoured a couple of images that are our favourites and hope the cart-wheeler doesn’t mind the use. If they do, contact us and we shall remove it for you.


Even totalitarian online sex hater Tory leader David Cameron had a go.





X-Men’s Wolverine set to end in 2014

Character heads “3 months to live title”


The writers at Marvel comics have decided to finally kill off one of the most popular characters of the X-Men mutant franchise.

The character, hugely popularised by Australian hunk Hugh Jackman became a stand out figure from branching out of the X-Men series. Issue 8’s “3 months to die” leaves a little tidbit for Logan’s parting screen life.

“Friend. Teacher. X-Man. Avenger. Assassin. Hero. The man called Logan has worn many faces and lived many lives. Tortured by the horrors of his past, Logan has spent the better part of his life on a path to redemption.

But all paths eventually end. And there will be no happy ending for the Wolverine. Left without his healing factor, the invulnerable killing machine has found himself mortal for the first time in his long life. And as past sins come back to haunt him – he’ll have to pay the ultimate price.”


Our take?

Everything must end at some point in a narrative context. Going out on a high after several powerful movies with and without the X-Men, Wolverine has been a huge success. But this success is now reaching the end of its course and instead of milking it where it becomes resentment, its time to pack up and move on with dignity. Fans will ultimately respect the choice over time despite initial shock. Ultimately this would include a screen adaptation with a final end.