TV Review: Gotham

Gotham has landed. How will Batman’s prelude intertwine with a post-modern culture?

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Before Batman, there was Gotham. The drama serial debuting on television began its dark and mysterious tale of the upbringing of orphan Bruce Wayne with the instant robbery of his mother and father. Confronted by a reckless robber, callously shooting them dead down a darkened alleyway after they handed over their rich valuables, saw the balaclava menace spare young Wayne.

Actor David Mazouz, playing the young Wayne proved instant praise with his affinity to his father more than his mother with a tentative caress followed by carefully pitched shriek. For many child or teen actors, these instances would have been extremely difficult to encapsulate to the viewing audience. It is comforting, then, that the production team thought carefully about its casting crew which makes all the difference.

All the while witnessed by a young cowering woman with feline abilities jumping to the ladder top sanctuary of the sky, also previously nabbing milk for a stray cat around the streets of gritty New York.

Dashing. McKenzie as Gordon

Dashing. McKenzie as Gordon

The super sleek introduction by Detective Gordon, (Ben McKenzie of The O.C and Southland) working at the lower ranks of the back-story to Commissioner, promises to find the assailant. Though the casting and smooth veneer of Gordon looks promising for Gotham as a whole. Young, determined and following a moral code (at least for now) in a dark city of crime provides perfect pitch for the rookie recruit. Given a tough edge and rightful mind, however, how long will it be before he is tested to bend the rules to achieve such justice? Viewers waiting for a vulnerable side to Jim Gordon could be treated to it later down the line, which actor McKenzie is clearly capable of delivering. His instant connection with Bruce Wayne sets the bar for their level of intimacy. Eloquent Butler Alfred (Sean Pertwee) arrives to escort Wayne, wishing Gordon the best of luck.

We are also able to see and be treated to the young budding Penguin, under the tutelage of the dark but colourful Fish Mooney. A debatable name by some, but carefully crafted into excellence by the boot filling actress herself. Deeper down the city as another menacing threat in the form of Jada Pinkett-Smith, Mooney strives for excellence. Not to be outdone as a supporting character, her guidance as the go to girl for all things necessary in the dark city itself, with bad behaviour balances both character and city. Already we see depth, past influences and allegiance sharing her core character. Betrayal does not sit well with her, as young Oscar ‘Penguin’ Cobblepot quickly discovers. Robin Taylor plays the bumbling deceiver convincingly and is a great addition to unknown actors who have the skills to make it among a couple of well known names.

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Devilish.

Gotham slips in the cultural references from the start to subtly tell viewers whose who and set the tone for their beginning in just three minutes or less. That is a difficult challenge for any storyteller, editor or producer. That itself is a task under-looked by many and exceptional to set the boundary of characterisation. There’s also a lady who likes to decorate her home with vines. Puzzling Edward Nigma is also dropped in among the mix.

Critics

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Some heavy loving fans of the franchise and comic book features have been vocal of the concerns to take a great story and adapt awkwardly. These include turning Gotham into a heavy US cop drama, of which many shows are base on in the States. Even McKenzie previously comes from one. (Southland) However, in a world filled with crime and a crime fighting superhero in the future, it was inevitable this would constitute the backdrop for Gotham. As far as we see it, there is no real problem with this. Viewers and fans however clearly are voicing their concern that of what it could become it producers start veering off in all directions where the obvious distorts the reality of what Batman is supposed to be, as well as Gotham itself.

Donald Logue was likely to have a hard time of it. Unglamourous, no-frills and brash, the cop who has seen it all in Gotham is there to guide his rookie partner Gordon. Naive and young meets experience and badness. Harvey Bullock makes the partnership with McKenzie have an air of development with will clearly set Gordon’s future path. Some parts are a perfect, long wait to bloom option.

Batman’s relegation to minor role has also been critiqued. However this is valuable to see how the young kid becomes. In order for this we need vulnerability and depth, which young Wayne adds to the mix. This also allows the others to shine in the cast. Batman needs to be relegated because he is young. No-one starts out as a hero when they are young. The advancement will be a necessary start and with only the pilot, fans are being somewhat fickle. To make a great series, you have to strip all away and begin afresh. This includes developing the cast who are setting the prequel for Bruce Wayne’s eventual rise.

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Gotham has managed to keep the city dark, its characters developed and set on pathways whilst not making it a ‘sexy leading star’ watered-down cop drama epic. Thankfully someone finally understood what is required of television. For avoiding all of these, Gotham has become ‘dark sexy’ with a chilled and moreish love of desire. Dirty, gritty, sleek and stylish, this one has the makings of not only leading television from lazy directors but maintaining a legacy that retains Batman’s identity.

For a beginning, this near perfect prequel earns a raptuous four of five stars. Casting is superb. Backstories for everyone are tied in seamingly effortlessly. The city is set in motion. The style is like no-other. Unique and leading the way, which will shamefully try to be copied by others has set the tone. Even empathy for the villains is fantastic.

4stars

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Barclaycard Mercury Prize 2014 Awarded

Barclaycard Mercury Prize 2014

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The Barclaycard Mercury Prize has been awarded for 2014. Of the twelve nominated contenders the winner was Young Fathers.

Whilst the group are a cool batch an shouldn’t be upset with the fallout, fans, critics and professional musicians could not see the barmy decision with credible light.

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Winner of the Prize 2014, Young Fathers.

The decision was clear from the Mercury Prize institution. They wanted to choose an outsider to seem like FalseFabs didn’t have influence over the ceremony yet lost credibility as a result. Last year we foresore the deserving winner James Blake, which no one else could predict as the winner. This year the Mercury Prize did not want to seem obvious to us so instead chose a random act. This did not really benefit tonight’s winners, made the Mercury Prize look institutional weak and disrespected its own standpoint as a prize.

Last month, when the shortlist was revealed we wrote of the potential winners who could win.

We will share our winning option nearer the time, to maintain a fair judging process. Though we have narrowed down three potential winners. We would hope the Mercury judges panel do not chose to ‘go against’ the deserving winner as an attempt to add difference to FalseFabs being musically in-tune with deserving talent.

As a tough choice, we would have picked GoGo Penguin. You can read the original article here – https://falsefabs.wordpress.com/2014/09/18/barclaycard-mercury-music-prize-2014-list-released/

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The ceremony was hosted by the ever dry and humourless Radio 1 DJ Nick Grimshaw. Whenever Grimmy is booked for media ‘numbers’ the show fails. Lesson be learned? Probably not.

Well, if there’s an extra space on the panel, drop us an email from the contact tab above.

Though we do congratulate and do not wish to take away from Young Fathers for their contribution to music as a whole.

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Debate: Should Rapist Footballer Ched Evans play again?

Should convicted rapist regain £1.5 million job?

 

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CONVICTED RAPIST Ched Evans has pleaded for his old job back.The football ace, 25, has begged to return to his previous role as striker in team Sheffield United. It was revealed Sheffield United planned to reinstate Evans in the squad. Attempting to avoid such scrutiny, the club have backtracked after public outrage.

The victim, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was forced into hiding twice, including changing her name and identity. Club fans have began chanting Evans and cheering him as a hero at football games for his actions. Evans continues to plead innocence blaming his victim for being intoxicated as an excuse after his convicted sentence. A miscarriage of justice is being looked into by the Crime and Justice department over his half served sentence.

Rape victims and his victim herself have been demoralised with the continued public attitude of Evans trying to gain fans pleading blind innocence which many feel mock the justice system and allow rapists to be excusable for their actions.

Clayton McDonald, the original man who had consensual sex with the victim, texted Evans telling him he “had a girl” in a hotel and encouraged Evans to come along. Evans, who willingly knew what he was going into, did not gain the consent of the victim and later claimed her drinking was to blame for a false claim of rape.

Ched-Evans

Evans has since gained a doting girlfriend and has been publicly laughing and enjoying time out with her whilst the victim has been forced into hiding numerous times, to try and integrate into society from her ordeal.

The debate raged as to whether Evans should retain his previous job on a whopping one and a half million pounds, possibly extended to three million in the future. The lack of remorse from Evans and attitude to blame the victim with an easy excuse of intoxication is an utter disgrace. As a PR move, it is an even bigger catastrophe. While a criminal who serves their time should be able to re-integrate into society, a high profile position is extremely questionable.

All smiles. Evans and loyal girlfriend enjoy time out.

All smiles. Evans and loyal girlfriend enjoy time out.

We believe anyone should have a chance to be a part of society again, but Evans should not return to his over priced job, nor in a public setting. A constant reminder to the victim and to others always seen on the pitch and earning high salaries is outrageous. In a role which children and their supporting fathers view football as role models and the vitriol attached to fan support of their on pitch heroes, destroys the boundaries between crime and redemption. Evans can return to different jobs, but as a footballer on a public scale, as a role model and  convicted sex abuser, the red card should be officially shown. Failing to show this from old club Sheffield United, or any other, sends the message that excuses rape and allows it to continue. They would be just as at fault for Evans not conforming to his own red card line to retract from sex with the unwillling victim.

With the football game branded as a mob culture with fans abusing minority groups or rival club supporters Evans’ inclusion again after such wrongdoing is counter-productive. Evans should be banned from the pitch as he has given away those rights. This goes for any other footballer. The message it sends to fans is that it is okay to abuse people with verbal or physical and sexual abuse. The game will always be looked at as anything but beautiful and cast into a murky attitude as a national sport. Fans want the game to be s glorious as they feel it in their hearts. Though no amount of protecting it for the sake of it without reason will make it respectful. Should Evans return to the pitch, football’s credibility will diminish entirely. ched evans football

That isn’t something any sporting hero, club or fan should appreciate under any circumstance.

Evans even has the sheer distaste to publish a book after appealing his case to become enshrined as innocence despite serving his half-time for being a full on convicted rapist.

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One has joined Twitter. Queen Liz II joins social network via PR team

PR numpties tell the Queen, join the Twitter revolution!

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Lunatics at Royal PR HQ, called BritishMonarchy, or wherever they are, who will be typing the majority tweets with a PR team, are trying to seem genuine with Royal-Common peasantry communications.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of Windsor has officially sent her first tweet on the social networking platform.

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The tweet, set up by British Monarchy, a PR team, was sent by Her Royal Highness during a visit to open a new exhibition at the Science Museum in London.

Citizens flocked to the royal on Twitter asking such requests as – “who are you loving on XFactor” , “Tweet us a selfie, babe” and a cat meme from the purring aristocrat.

Though one account was somewhat miffed. Parody account @Queen_UK, who has for years provided humouress commentary, all in good taste, wrote below, “can’t believe someone’s started a sodding parody account.”

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She has also followed grandson Prince Harry and Duke of York, Andrew both who have joined years ago.

HRH Liz’s tweet said “It is a pleasure to open the Information Age Exhibition today at the @ScienceMuseum and I hope people will enjoy visiting. Elizabeth R.”

The Queen quietly joined Facebook in 2010.

Her cousin David Cameron, who vowed never to join both online networks, joined in 2012.

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EU Omni-shambles. Cameron – My powers. EU – 2.1bn euros.

The European Union (EU) have landed a tough imposition on the United Kingdom. After claiming that the British economy is booming and David Cameron shamelessly flaunting it to all EU members, a request was made for more finance. The EU have requested a 2.1bn [billion] euros (£1.7bn) beginning on 1 December 2014.

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Many believe this was a direct measure to sting in Cameron’s tail after spurring an in/out referendum in 2017 for the UK to have a chance to leave the EU. Cameron, who is attempting to use the move to fight opposition Labour and fighting off clawing challengers with UKIP, failed to use the PR initiative constructively. Cameron is said to secretly wish to stay in the EU, but publicly used the idea to seem one step above Labour. Reneging on his policies with unfair bias in the past, Cameron is now fresh out of allies in the Tory party, the EU and in the UK with the people and indeed, FalseFabs.

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Spouting the British economy is on the up, the EU wants a slice of the pie. Gluttonous pig Cameron, who has rewarded himself, own politicians and blindly spent on overseas aid on whims for PR to ‘look good’ to the world’s crises has neglected all around him with the EU and the British people. He now also claims the UK are “leading the way” on the Ebola crisis to ‘get in first’ despite others contributing well with finance and aid.

Cameron, who continues to ignore the fact that the people in Britain are poor and need support, believed he could take the wealth and spend it on his own personal interests for the country. If he put it back into helping people than segregating them into working camps, he may just have been able to bypass this issue.

Cameron’s economic plan, to force young people into unpaid work, ‘voluntary’ schemes which failed under Cameron’s own policy (because they didn’t pay and had no career prospects) has now been merged into ‘Apprenticeship schemes’ instead. The economic plan, otherwise known as ‘sit still and hope for the best and claim glory when it fixes itself’ as a home-static motion, is Cameron’s only remaining clout.

Cameron has also gone his own way with a Totalitarian motion of propaganda to introduce a “British Bill of Human Rights’ a not so cleverly spun title to remove the rights from the EU which help the people who are abused by government forces. The replacement of a government controlled state, by the Tory Reichstag, sending out the Alter Kampfers aiming to get the Great British badge, rewarded by themselves is abhorrent at best. The authoritive perils of Cameron and Co. which rip apart the country instead of banding it together, attempts to exclude opposition politicians from the former Scottish independence vote, which are mostly Labour MPs. This would give the Tory Party every chance to make biased decisions and stall any parliament from a democratic process of issuing laws for the good of the country. Cameron claims the UK is a democracy and not a dictatorship.

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Glutton. Cameron enjoys the media walk with paparazzo.

What he wants, he gets. Well, he has lost that imperative with the EU by charging in and bratishly demanding change when he has done nothing to support change. It is no wonder the EU are not so keen to offer newer powers as they were beforehand some two years ago, when Cameron decided to penalise the poor and demand change or threaten a walkout. Cameron’s exit plan has no weight, and his failure to negotiate “one last go” after FalseFabs set the groundwork for change is a tentative, bullish attitude having no favour. Cameron, who rejected meetings of sustainable forces to ‘do it his own way’ in a completely juvenile act of self-egotistical appraisal has damaged the core of the EU-UK alliance. Even the EU had mentioned last week that Britain was one of the strongest countries in the EU. Cameron has ruined our presence in this committee. The irony is that since the UK changed the laws to suit their needs, now they moan that the EU are doing so. Only when it suits Sir David Cameron, eh?

For the EU, they should not judge the UK on the disgraceful actions of David Cameron and Nigel Farage and continue to hold an open mind. Change is on the horizon as Cameron will be de-elected from office in May 2015 during the next General Election. Then we will likely have a politician that is agreeable to conversation, negotiation and real change in Europe, not just a PR branded spin. The EU has always had a plausible relationship with the UK and though it is annoying to hear such aggression from today’s phony parliament, who could not win a majority of the election, keeps an open mind. At May 2015 it is very likely the country will change for the better and be rid of the “Nasty Party” of rich fat cats and out of touch with society hedge funded bureaucrats.

Divided. Demands from Cameron not too appraised by new EU President Junker.

Divided. Demands from Cameron not too appraised by new EU President Junker.

Cameron’s failure to include the British people on his behalf and adapt a careful and mild mannered approach does not sell the UK at this time favourably. Cameron is on the verge of not only continuing the Broken Britain notion, but to completely sever ties with Europe. We cannot run away when things get tough or don’t get our own way and spit out our dummy. Politicians are there to hold diplomatic relations when not always agreeable footing is present. Cameron has never once attempted this and it is too late. The best Cameron can hope to achieve is to keep Britain in strong relations with the EU, back his personal attachment up and ‘leave off’ while remaining an open door with the EU.

For a man who comes from PR, this schmoozing of European clout is a complete Omni-shambles.

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Outsider. Cameron left with no-one to play with after ludicrous relations with EU as a whole.

As with the penny taking from the EU, as a pro-EU supporter, this is quite aggressive and harsh. While Cameron brags of the economy booming, the UK has had no wage increases, an NHS on the verge of implosion and benefit claimants stigmatised, stained as scum and led to suicide by indirect murders Cameron and Co. Their newest plan is to launch the Aktion T4 program, to destroy the mentally ill and disabled, all the while using propaganda with Cameron’s own disabled son and deceased son as political footballs for votes to seem human. The EU needs to be seen as giving something back if it is to take from the UK. While EU members may not like this, this is not aggressive nature; it is called being a part of the union and supporting one of the biggest members of the club. Let us not forget the UK has provided millions and billions of wealth to the EU and virtually asked for nothing for years. The free movement of people has seen Britain become a safe haven for many in troubled times, one of its greatest assets of virtue. The UK is a humble country, but is no pushover. Again, never judge us on the totalitarian ethics of Cameron and his cronies. This is not the democratic UK that has always remained in the UK, and this will return shortly. We must work together to retain British values in the EU and support for others. While some enemies of the UK in the EU club are likely to neglect this, at some point it is very likely the UK will be needed for your voting privileges and to give you ‘a voice’ which the UK supports as a democratic right. It is fundamental that we, as a union, though sometimes disagreeing, stick together and communicate better with an open mind regardless of policy disinterest. One country has their rules and while we may not fully agree, we can communicate to understanding one another’s culture much better with open dialogue. The irony is that since the UK changed the laws to suit there needs, now they moan that the EU are doing so. Only when it suits Sir David Cameron, eh?

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Strictly Come Dancing Results: Week 5

Strictly Results: Week 5

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The fourth couple will be leaving the show tonight as Tess and Claudia have the results.

The first couple saved are (in no particular order) – Pixie and Trent. Also safe are Steve and Ola, Sunetra and Brendan, Caroline and Pasha and Scott and Joanne.

The first to fall into the bottom two is – Thom and Iveta.

Culture Club

Karma Chameleon

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Boy George and his Culture Club crew returned to belt out one of their classic tracks. George made an effort to sequin up his hat as the band looked once again outstanding and timeless as a true musical group.

Len’s Lens

More comedy moments were looked at through the lens with Claudia and the judges.

The rest of the results are back. Through to next week (in no particular order) are – Jake and Janette, Frankie and Kevin, Alison and Aljaz and Judy and Anton.

Joining the dance off are Simon and Kristina, leaving Mark and Karen to sail into next week.

The dance off

Thom and Iveta

Cha Cha

It’s My Party – Jessie J

From the start Thom loosens attitude and lets self go in controlled manner well. Fluid and less stiff second time around. More groovy and less concentrating on floor helping dance better than previous attempt. Learning on journey and always developing better. Gave much better performance second time around.

Simon and Kristina

Viennese Waltz

Somebody to Love – Queen

Attempt to work well but wobbly turns. Too rigid, stiff and one dimensional focus, despite effort. Awkward turn around grabs and lacking commanding role as lead. Sadly cannot really progress further. Too big a song for clumsy routine.

The Judges Vote

In the event of a tie, head judge Len Goodman has the casting vote.

Craig – Nasty one cos I like both couples equally. Going to save Thom and Iveta.

Darcey – Also dont think we should choose between both. Couple save is Thom and Iveta.

Bruno – Up to me, both would stay. Most polished of the two were, Simon and Kristina.

Len – Look at footwork and feet. Couple with cleanest footwork, Simon and Kristina.

Sin Binned

Gorgeous couple Thom and Iveta leave as fourth contestants on the out.

Gorgeous couple Thom and Iveta leave as fourth contestants on the out.

Thom said of his experience on the dancefloor:-

Experience exceeded all my expectations. Thom also had a glowing endorsement of partner Iveta.

Thom – Want to thank Iveta. Couldn’t have worked harder. Want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Iveta – You’ve changed so much. Joy to watch that big change. Dancing is not the job its my lifestyle, my love. I love seeing that in you.

Looks like the gays saved loser Scott and instead forgot about losing their hunk of the show. You live and learn. As for Len and Bruno, serious doubt is on them as judges that are credible with voting principals to seem less obvious.

Next week is the Halloween special. Some people could be going under. Stakes are out and higher than ever.

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 5

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 5

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The four who score are back as the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli take to their judging chairs. As ever our scores are in brackets. Next week is the Halloween special so the stakes (hah!) are high.

Jake and Janette

Quickstep

I’m Still Standing – Elton John

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Good start in rush to floor choreography wise. Good trot along. Consistent with musicality. Playful leg along quirks. Good back leg kick out lift of Janette. Great spin around with control. Leading man, but in trouble of becoming too safe and boring. Needs bit of oomph from previous weeks to really buzz back to top.

Len – Hold as it went trough lost a bit. First out sets the bar.

Bruno – Have to watch the top line.

Craig – Using frame to do dancing instead of legs leading it.

Darcey – So much footwork going on there. Wonderful.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Sunetra and Brendan

Vienesse Waltz

Anyone who had a Heart – Cilla Black

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Returning from last week’s mishap as ‘Brendan c**k’ole’ Sunetra attempts to dazzle again. Sparkly frame on wardrobe adds to the grace of movemet around the floor. Good extended footwork. Timid and controlled. Following direction well, but clearly a ‘follow routine’ poise than commanding role. Needs for stomp on confidence as leading lady in partnership. Very well performaded with gracious attitude.

Bruno – Way you placed her. Habit of rising your shoulders.

(Brendan moans.)

Craig – Loved double spin into hold. That takes some doing. Tendency to look down. Extend line little bit ore. Absolutely beautiful.

Darcey – You look very comfortable. It’ only when you come out of hold. Finish those lines.

Len – I thought it was terrific. Kept your poise.

7, 7, 8, 8 (7)

Scott and Joanne

Charleston

Flash Bang Wallop – Tommy Steele

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Tess tries to make Craig crack a smile after Scott will become a photographer for this dance. Great, it worked. Now, can Tess try to be less caricature and less wooden?

Scott takes Joanne’s pic and stands and smiles. Scott stomps his feet up and down to comedy music. Stand on the spot dancing again since first week continually. Scott can’t lift Joanne from ground doing all work around him. Fall back on floor into the oops upside your head house party boat thing. Stupid. Daft over shoulder lift lugging Joanne who kicks leg to music. Pathetic, tame and useless.

Craig – Positively elatious. Absolutely no attempt whatsoever. Feet never came together once. A three year old could have done that better. You put some personality in it.

Darcey – Weirdly pulled this off. Cheeky character. Couple moments you couldn’t pick lovely Jo up.

Len – Got through it. It was fun.

Bruno – Your dance skills are unique. Undefinable. You could be the lovechild of Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant. (Not really, because they both were fun and entertaining, not wishy-washy idiots who don’t try.)

4, 5, 5, 5 (2)

Thom and Iveta

Cha Cha

It’s My Party – Jessie J

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Thom and his brother settled the tips exchange with an arm wrestle and an N-Sync dance off.

Thom starts getting the bum and hips moving well. Good drop down connections with Iveta. Tough transition for Thom to floor as looking bit stiff in dancing. Needs to let it fully go and forget about being judged as losing it on the floor. Good recovery, trying to get into it. Not greatest musicality, to be fair. Still very consistent and improving constantly.

Darcey – Worried you weren’t going to warm in the dance. Difficult dance. Upped your performance.

Len – Occasionally didn’t know what to do with your arms. Having said that, performed it strongly. Lots of hip action.

Bruno – Who wouldn’t party with Thom. Toyboy for every occasion. Your personality becomes more engaging. Looked like a Salsa more than a Cha Cha Cha. Didn’t quite work. Salsa disco.

Craig – Thought it was all pigeon toed. Trying technical side too hard. Rhythm very very good. Quite marvelous at grinding.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Frankie and Kevin

Foxtrot

Daydream Believer – The Monkees

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Good sweet start. Smooth into hold guidance from Kevin. Bit empty and boring in middle of going around floor. Looking little lost. Quite easy out of hold hand moments. Felt too cheap in hold carried by Kevin. Hiding away than dancing effectively.

Len – Floated across floor like butter on a hot crumpet. Work little bit more on getting body away from Kevin. I know he’s hunky.

Bruno – Content in middle was proper foxtrot. Have to arch back. Gives better line.

Craig – Opening very sweet. Wholesome performance. Go for a bit more of extreme in top line. Thought was enchanting.

Darcey – Just looked too comfortable.

8, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Alison and Aljaz

Tango

Addicted to You – Avicii

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Instant character setting tone. Commands Aljaz well as he does her. Very clean footwork. Keeping theme of dance apparent. Smooth and controlled rotations. Good leg extension. Smooth and controlled contemporary tango. Only lacking bit of faster oomph and sharpness, but very well overall.

Bruno – Definitely integed. Put a monumental effort in there. Like watching an Opera. A very technical dance. Got to be much much sharper.

Craig – Quite the opposite to be honest. Lacked drama. Soft around edges. For-ev-err to get into hold. Felt was dance of sections. Don’t think it was your dance.

Aljaz– My fault.

Alison – Like what you’ve got to say, Craig, so will take that on board, Babe.

Darcey – Suited the dance. Strong, determined performance.

Len – Did take while to get started. Pro’s have to get best out of partner. Exactly what you did. Was a bit of drama going on.

5, 6, 6, 6 (7)

Claudia comes dressed for Halloween early with a sheet and fangs. Yet, she still manages to prove the thrill for Strictly. “Put them in!” Claudia yells as she tries to push ’em in Tess’s gob.

 

Mark and Karen

Samba

That’s the way I like it – KC and The Sunshine Band

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Bellend Mark decided to show Karen some moves down Faces nightclub in Essex. You mugs.

Mark wiggles his willie and bum to get some cheap thrills for votes. On floor follows everything Karen does and does not lead. Shows off on sex appeal flaunting own vanity. Sits on floor gyrating crotch. Glad to see we’ve moved on from the ghost of Jimmy Savile. Mark mimicing Karen and not leading at all. Cheap, shaking body and no actual dancing. No surprise they were in bottom two last week. Simply sad.

Craig – Could have done without all that vulllgar dancing.

Darcey – You can give John Travolta a run for his money. (Really?)

Len – Did exactly what had to do when in dance off.

Bruno – You’re a natural. Talk about the way you work your bum.

8, 9, 8, 8 (2) (Over-marking by producers to keep in a ‘favourite’ for finance. Pathetic and systemic.)

 

Simon and Kristina

Viennese Waltz

Somebody to Love – Queen

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You never use a Queen song when you can’t carry it.

Simon smiles as he glides along, with smoke hiding feet as Kristina sings along. Risky, all over the place and completely retarded. Pitiful performance lacking everything necessary to complement a dance and ticked boxes again or fourth week running to get the steps cleared. Lame.

Darcey – Become elegant. Would’ve liked it smoother.

Len – Didn’t think performance was overly classy. Hectic. Lacked lyrical movement.

Bruno – Very very difficult. Don’t bounce it.

Craig – You’re right thumb was up. That said it all darling.

7, 7, 7, 7 (5)

Judy and Anton

Charleston

Varsity Drag – Pasadena Roof Orchestra

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Judy rows a boat then jumps with dancing on the spot with her paddle. Empty. Nothing going on. Swims on Anton’s back, saying it all there. Lifts up by Anton with a star jump. Ends on Anton’s shoulders to mask failures at dancing. No dancing at all. One of her famous sons shown in audience. (Andy’s busy overseas.)

Len – Always having so much fun.

Bruno – Bit like the Titanic of Charleston. (Jumps out of seat) Enjoyed it.

Craig – Fairly decent. Liked swim thing. Wasn’t ounce of swivel. Timing appalling.

Darcey – Shame you got out of rhythm in couple of places.

3, 5, 5, 5 (3)

Caroline and Pasha

Paso Doble

Live and Let Die – Paul McCartney & Wings

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Joint cape work to start okay but not thrilling. Yellow and purple UKIP cape Caroline starts moving around the floor well, but freely. Bit watered-down and more about presentation than both that and dance. Bit tacky but fair.

Bruno – Loved passion and drama. I think I’m turning.

Craig – Only but agree. Heavy, used every accent in music to advantage.

Darcey – Detailed fingers.

Len – From Russia with love. Would’ve liked more shaping. Fantastic.

8, 9, 8, 9 (8)

Steve and Ola

Waltz

I wonder why – Curtis Stigers

scd 14 steve 5

Ola walks up to Steve at fountain. Shouldn’t it have been other way around? Steve from behind pulls Ola back and out of way in middle of dance. No connection with partner. Hard concentration causing problems. Shaky moments from spins. Cuddles Ola to end. As pale as Ola’s dress.

Craig – Lovely seeing a gentle soft side to your dancing. Get thumbs down.

Darcey – Not expecting you to understand that grace and elegance. Led Ola effortlessly.

Len – Kept wide frame. Well done.

Bruno – Romantic lead.

7, 8, 7, 8 (4)

Pixie and Trent

Samba

I Yi Yi Yi Yi – Edmundo Ros

scd 14 pixie 5

Pixie has literally got flowers in her hair. Channeling Paloma Faith’s fruit cocktail bandanna years ago (which was great) Pix is going all Copa.

Pix flaunts her boobies as she moves to the floor. Flamenco-ish sound was tad juvenile and sounded echoey cheap thrill. Slowed down dance routine. Good arm arounds. Felt bit distilled and empty in places though. Needed more passion and groove. Looked to easy and careless. Flat.

Darcey – Gave it your all.

Len – Full of fun, energy. Terrific.

Bruno – Tooti Fruti extravaganza.

Craig – Still getting over opening look, those shimmy’s. Isolation excellent. Amazing.

8, 9, 9, 9 (7)

Best dance of the night?

For the third week running (and by default) is –

Caroline and Pasha

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Steve, Scott and Simon

IMAGES

BBC