Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 7

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 7

TX6 LIVE SHOW

Tonight the seventh week begins after the outrageous Halloween special unveiling even more of the BBC’s past demons and constant corruption from within. It was a good thing to have servicemen honoured and in the studio, but BBC think people won’t see how full of it they are to use them for good publicity. Shame on you. Have a bit of class for the troops at least. All about trying to retain BBC favour not the honour of the service. No tact.

As ever the useless judging panel is back with the only credible judge Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our honest and true score is in brackets among the over-marking hypocrisy on show t offer such clarity among the Strictly circus.

 

Simon and Kristina

Quickstep

I Got Rhythm – Bobby Darin

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Simon jumps from the steps to the floor. Counts as one lift. Long time getting into hold after theatrics which added little to routine. Good spin through on spot turns. Smiley on spot dancing again becoming all box ticking to get through a dance and not really being free and going for it. Same position of progress again. Stuck to the same thing and did not really develop. All box ticking. Got to loose stiff, brainless attitude to being more freeloading.

Len – The Quicktep isn’t simple Simon. The boy from blue. Go the gold mile at Blackpool.

Bruno – Gave us plenty of glamour. You’re enjoying yourself. Having a good time on the dancefloor.

Craig – Posture could have been improved slightly. Have improved. Flew around that floor. Fast becoming a serious contender. (Who paid you to say that?)

Darcey – Terrific entrance.

7, 9, 9, 8 (7)

 

Caroline and Pasha

Waltz

Three Times A Lady – Lionel Ritchie

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Staring in a behind position looked more like a Rumba than a Waltz. Finally in-hold goo gliding along. Too slow, lacking something extra. Good tilt spins around. Bit wobbly but graceful moments. Trying hard. Bit wishy-washy though and lacking depth of a traditional Waltz. Was much more of a Rumba than anything.

Bruno – You put me in the mood. Total honesty about your commitment to what you do. Shoulders. Sometiime trembling.

Craig – Little bit blocky, your top line. Loved emotion.

Darcey – Smooth lady. Very romantic quality. Open shoulders, relax them.

Len – Little bit of tension. Dance requires so much control. Has got to show rise and fall. That was lacking little bit. Well done.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

 

 

Jake and Janette

Rumba

Strangers in the Night – Frank Sinatra

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Navy officer Jake smoothly manoeuvers Janette into hold perfectly. Good swivel hips in a timid and charismatic way. Not over done. Beautiful back lg dip from Janette. Good follow up dip down. Excellent glide along with Janette’s leg on shoulder. Very loving and smooth. Calm and sensual.

Craig – Hand shaping wasn’t particularly, very wooden. Dance little too safe and too subtle. Slightly disappointed.

Darcey – Very hard to achieve such sensuality all way through. I think you achieved that. Supported her very well.

Len – Little bit all at sea on hands. Hard dance for men. Acceptable wasn’t exceptional.

Bruno – Continuous motion, never stops. At times felt little bit jagged. Hard to strike a balance, especially for men. Brave attempt.

(Will Pixie, Frankie and Mark be marked highly? Judges always have their favourites or are they the producers? )

6, 7, 7, 7 (8) (What were they watching?)

Judy and Anton

Paso Doble

I Fought the Law – The Clash

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Here we are! Andy Murray is finally on a Strictly VT. BBC’s taxpayers payoff to book Judy on the show is now validated.

Judy Judy finds Anton “Guilty” off illegal lifting. Well at least someone listened. Judy stands in front of released Anton to remove cape and doesn’t move. Anton literally drags, moves and lifts her all around. Literally no effort or dancing at all. Absolutely disgraceful. Walks around slow with Anton couple paces before locking him back up. Horrendous. The epitome of rigormortis.

Darcey – Doesn’t carry though to moves. Every move has to be so exaggerated. Very good effort.

Len – Centre court to criminal court. Hope you come back for Blackpool cos I wanna see Craig’s face.

Bruno – Literally insane. Great achievement.

Craig – All very pedestrian. Walk all way through. (Anton argues.) At least a little bit of dancing. I’ve given up.

Zoe told to ask about and wish Andy Murray good luck. (Yawn.)

3, 5, 5, 5 (0)

 

Tess is eating a cone of chips in the audience. (?)

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Foxtrot

All of Me – John Legend

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Good start to the floor of Sunetra. Graceful. Smooth in-hold around. Tidy footwork. Bit slowed down afterward than usual. Good turnaround and grace in dance routine. Smooth and elegant.

Len – Couple of little incidents.

Sunetra – Yeah, that not happened before.

Len – As Henry VIII would say, take them to the tower. Blackpool tower!

Bruno – If you go wrong keep going and hardly anybody will notice. Don’t stumble and drop it.

Craig – Real shame. Had potential to really floor everybody. Became clunky. Lot of gaping. Beautiful routine. Well it would have been.

Darcey – One of best top lines. Little bit ploddy.

Brendan – you hit wrong foot. Only one bit went wrong. She did a great job. (Learn when to shut up ruining it for yourself Brendan. It’s not about you.)

7, 8, 8, 8 (8)

 

 

Alison and Aljaz

Charleston

Friend Like Me – Robin Williams OST from Aladdin

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Working feet very well. Great partnership with Aljaz with symmetrical routine. Strong character, jhuzz and attempt at turn lifting Aljaz. Great Jazz feel. Strong style, fun and enthusiastic work to end. Amazing. Alison even got to snog Aljaz.

Bruno – So vivacious. Affinity for slapstick. Kinda lost a little bit. Was charging like a locomotive.

Craig – Did enjoy routine. Very stylish, chic. Love your jazz hands don’t you? Wasn’t brilliant routine technically, but most enjoyable.

Darcey – So suits you. Improvement in your strength. Joy to watch.

Len – Right up your alley Alj. (Ally)

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

 

 

Mark and Karen

Waltz

Weekend In New England – Barry Manilow

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Trying to be more manly, bellend Mark tried to get the bloke vote by playing football to show his leg skills.

The pair walk to each other and hold each other while smiling. Karen extends hands downward as Mark just stands there with arms around. Stands still and smiles outward. Tiny spin around and two steps along too wooden. Bad footwork. Lifts Karen around off the floor. Empty, lacking and pathetic.

Craig – Certainly amorous. Really enjoyed it.

Darcey – Becoming very expressive performer. Led Karen round the dancefloor. I was very impressed.

Len – Swing and sway was lacking a bit. Footwork was terrific. That was lovely.

Bruno – Tender, loving, so involving. You’re a keeper. Bit more swing in there, we can work on it. (Looks at Mark suggestively.)

7, 8, 8, 8 (6)

 

 

Frankie and Kevin

Samba

La Bamba – Connie Francis

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Start bit naff. Good into hold swift and fun thrilling but too timid to drive full party atmosphere. Good flamenco footworking moments. Holding back a little. Not fully going for it. Too many inhibitions holding back. Bit of skirt wafting. Too pleasant, sweet and scared to do something risky. Fair but not thrilling. Or should that be frills. One of you hey Tess.

Darcey – Really pushed Frankie. Couple places, little hiccups. Like more of a sexier Smaba.

Len – Very fast routine, one or two incidents. Great song, routine and dancing.

Bruno – Couldn’t keep u with it. (Starts talking weird language. Need subtitles for the SAP?)

Craig – Worst dance yet.

Tess – What were you seeing?

Craig – That. (Finally someone telling a remote level of truth. Horray! Or is that Ole? Another one for you Tess.)

7, 8, 9, 8 (7)

 

Pixie and Trent

Foxtrot

When I’m Sixty Four – The Beatles

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Washer woman Pixie does some Victorian mangling with Trent. Very slow and awkward clap along style. Very drab and boring, All a spout of steps and nothing else. Bad routine could land her in bottom two. Good single leg turnaround. Decent work with steps but empty and bored.

Len – I love a mangle. Lovely, charming dance. Dance was charming.

Bruno – Housewife superstar. Original. Lot of character.

Craig – Gor-g-h-ous.

Darcey – You stretched yourself open. Well done. Fabulous.

9, 10, 8, 9 (7) (Seriously? That was not too grand, lets be honest.)

 

 

Steve and Ola

Paso Doble

Use Somebody – Kings of Leon

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Wafting his cape uselessly Steve cuddles Ola on her knees from behind. Lifts leg off ground and over Ola. Walk around in-hold arm moves limp. Jumps up and around on spot moving two feet adding nothing. intimidation very lacking and laughable. Spin around on floor of Ola only big moment. As pale as Ola’s green dress. Dip down to floor was empty. Only a few steps tapped.

Bruno – (Jumps up and screams.) Needs more refinement.

Craig – Vicious brute. Still in shock, quite frankly.

Darcey – In the upper body… (loses words and gushes.) So powerful, very masculine. Thought it was brilli-ANT!

Len – Frightened life out of me. Well done.

6, 8, 7, 7 (5)

 

 

Best dance of the night

 Jake and Janette

 

Danger zone

(in no particular order )

Steve, Alison and Judy

 

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BBC

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Miliband: Cancer patients to be seen in 7 days under Labour 2015 election rules

Caring health hero Miliband to raise importance of saving potential Cancer sufferers

ff labour mili cancer copy

Labour leader Ed Miliband has pledged to save the National Health Service (NHS) from Conservative plans to privatise the service past 2015. Privatisation in Tory minds is to sell portions of the service off to the highest bidder, akin to three Royal Mail blunder which saw the Tories sell the service. Shareholders of the public taxpayer received a measly amount multiple times less than originally forecast as part of the Tories ‘great economic plan’ which they claim is ‘working’ every time.

Services have suffered with numerous scandals involving dying children, mistreating of patients, hospital care occurring in corridors and left to die and social care failures under Tory rule. Multiple scandals occurred and were hushed up though some have been exposed under the Tory failures.

Now, in plans to save the NHS for the better, Labour plan to have cancer patients seen within seven days, instead of two week referrals. The two week referrals, which are to usher in cancer patients or suspected cases within two weeks, were quietly put back to four weeks, increasing the chance of contracting cancer. The sickening disease has soared since 2010’s Conservative government, alongside bureaucratic paperwork conflicting the workload of GP’s, doctors and hospital administrators dealing with cases.

Labour and its leader, Ed Miliband will change that for the better to one week instead.

Immigrants, welfare claimants and the elderly are at the most vulnerable to the Tory plans to introduce health insurance plans in accordance with privatisation. If you do not have health service, you will die. Upon entering A and E (Accident and Emergency) two years ago, migrants were asked for their credit details whilst on a trolley, foretold by a UK newspaper. The government have influenced journalists to ‘hush up’ and keep quiet not to look bad.

The government previously launched a disastrous racist campaign with billboard vans driving around London telling non-UK nationals to “go home” which is a racist term if mentioned to a minority in the street of race, gender, overseas nationality or sexuality. The planned to roll it out in the country until noble citizens of the UK opposed the racist motion.

If elected at May 2015, Labour will make this one of their key imperatives in their election manifesto.

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 6: Halloween

Strictly Results Week 6: Halloween

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Opening the show with a thrillingly intense group collaboration with Aljaz and Janette as Snow White and Prince Charming with a Snow Queen we can only assume may be Natalie? Whoever it was was dancing with Brendan. Good make up I guess. :p

The judges are hollogrammed in by cheap CGI effects on tape delay in pale green with a themed name like Craig ‘Devil’ Horwood etc. BBC have lots of licence payers money. This is their best. Horrific. Not even people involvement. At least do something remotely entertaining for your taxpayers in some capacity, even if there are budgeting decisions.

Judy was thrilled to do Halloween because she said last year she was in the audience watching it.

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After the shocking Halloween special the results from terrifying Tess are in. The first couple saved and through to next week is, in no particular order, Mark and Karen.

Joining the rest are Frankie and Kevin, Sunetra and Brendan and Caroline and Pasha. The first couple in the bottom two will be Scott and Joanne to face the dreaded dance off.

 

Annie Lennox

I put a spell on you

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Legend and aging gracefully, former Eurythmic Annie Lennonx got a little groovy with her mellow Orchestrated sing along having a on the spot rythym. More than some are doing in the show. Sound, look and feel was fantastic proving legend is still going strong.

 

Len’s lens

Jake’s shaping provides a masterclass from Len with his hands. Darcey then stood up to do her shaping. Bruno slips of the chair and spreads his legs for Darcey in a shock moment. Sad. Craig felt Caroline was over-rehearsed and lost her frill. Mark using a lift with his high legs sent Bruno into a lustful craze as usual. “He puts the sex in Essex” Len adds. Well just go ask him for a sh*g then.

The remaining acts learn their ordeal as the rest of the results are in. Safe for the next week are, in no particular order – Pixie and Trent, Jake and Janette, Judy and Anton and Simon and Kristina.

The final couple joining the bottom two are Alison and Aljaz  leaving Steve and Ola to rattle through to next week.

 

 

The dance off

Alison and Aljaz

American Smooth

Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush

Aljaz thanked make up after joining the dance off again on exactly the same show last year with the 2013 winner Abbey Clancy.

Alsion glided in this time with more exuberance and love. Grace in hold with Aljaz was lifted. Great floor feet moments with wafting along. Smooth and gracious routine with a level of character. Great leg jump from Aljaz. Charismatic ending for both in warm embrace.

 

Scott and Joanne

Foxtrot

Addams Family Theme

Joanne admitted the relationship was like a brother -sister relationship which was highly obvious.

Scott hobbled around to pick up Joanne again and hobbled along with there to the floor with no added change. Despite how hard he trains he has shown no dance skill and continues to do the same old formula to stay stiff, wait and move one step. Scatty ending moving Joanne around in turning holds.

 

 

The Judges Vote

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Craig – I would like to save the couple who threw the kitchen sink in their routine. Alison and Aljaz.

Dracey – Save, also because of added flourishes. Alison and Aljaz.

Bruno – Both turned up the fun factor. White tornado, Alison.

Len – No I did not agree. Thought both so much fun. Both danced the Foxtrot. Went for the section that was the Foxtrot so it would have been Scott I would have saved.

Okay BBC. Sack them all except for Craig. Deluded. Len said that they both dancced a Foxtrot. Alison did the AMERICAN SMOOTH. Last week Len booted out Thom and Iveta after saying Simon and Kristina had the best footwork. Simon’s feet were covered by a mist smoke screen for at least a quarter of the dance, and cameras were not focused on the feet. Old deluded fart.

End of transmission

scott joanne 6 off

Scott said they had a real laugh.

Joanne thanked her time on Strictly as a new professional working her best with the worst.

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BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 6: Halloween

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 6: Halloween

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This week’s horrific spell in Horrorwood began with the queens of Strictly, skeletous Daly and the one that should have won in Series 3, glitzed up Zoe Ball, sitting in for Claudia Winkleman.The stakes are high and out in full force tonight as the BBC ballroom battle continues.

Doing the judging this week are the judges as ever in the form of the frightful four. Cadaver Craig Revel-Horwood, Bizarre ballerina Darcey Bussell, oranged onion loving count Len Goodman and the horrid hobgoblin Bruno Tonioli. Our frightfully honest score are in brackets to add clarity to the disenchanted lunacy unfolding with overmarking mist.

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Jive

Tainted Love – Gloria Jones

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Tess made her first gruesome joke with no punch. Brendan will be channeling (hah!) a ghost but said he would not get a drink in the bar, as they don’t serve spirits.

‘Creepy’ Cole creeps out from under the bed as Sunetra joins him on the floor. Impish Sunetra was led by unnerving Brendan. Brendan jumps over the bed and runs over the dancefloor. Sunetra doing standard but left on own as The Brendan Show not helping her be shown at all. Basic turn arounds and minor hands adding no real feel outside of rigormortis dar-h-ling. Weak, empty, punitive. What can we say she did? Not much. A shame for Sunetra who tries hard but in serious trouble with danceoff.

Len – Lost your way as it went along.

Bruno – Rumba in middle slowed pace down a little.

Craig – Felt little laboured. Brendan your so naughty. Lacked punch and dynamic.

Darcey – You are happier in the ballroom. Good effort but not your dance.

(Brendan moans, yet again.)

6, 7, 7, 7 (5)

 

Alison and Aljaz

American Smooth

Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush

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Alison is air lifted down in an elegant white wing drop well. Taking on a Heathcliffe character Aljaz worked well with Alison and her feet but took bit of time starting. Good in-hold turns and elegance continuing. Very strong from Alison but danger of being too timid. No lifts in an allowed lift.

Bruno – Like a wind turbine. Be careful when you go in hold. Become ketchy.

Craig – Was one of the campest entrances. Ethereal and angelic until you got to the floor. Wafty arms bit too much, but tribute to Kate Bush. Well done.

Darcey – Fabulous seeing you enjoy everything. You slightly get carried away.

Aljaz – No.

Darcey – It was beautiful.

Len – I’m with Darcey. So masculine coming across the moors. Once in hold, needs bit more movement.

5, 7, 7, 7 (6)

 

Simon and Kristina

Paso Doble

Poison – Alice Cooper

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Poison chalice Kristina and Simon returned after loony Len saved them from their second dance off claiming they had the best footwork. The same footwork frightfully concealed by a misty smoke screen for at less one quarter of their routine. Tonight Black Widow Kristina is becoming a spider. Not for the first time then after Kristina sleeps with most of her partners and breaks up others.

“Rotten” Rhianoff tries to stick Simon in her web as Simon stands and does some acting with his hand. Simon gallops along like he’s down the shops. No attack in drop down spins. Through spins lacking any quality. Pathetic jump of Simon which is a lift. Through legs launch of Kristina daft. Simon kicks leg back and breaks ruling borderlines again. Cheats to win and fails to be of any interest. What a quality save again BBC.

Craig – Ferocious. Lines need accentuating. Commanding performance. Little Haywire darling. (Vocab provided by FalseFabs, obvs.)

Darcey – Conviction. Luckily you saved it. Impressive and very skilled.

Len – For me did enough last two times in dance off. Didn’t deserve to be there. Lacked finesse. Givin’ it plenty? You certaintly did.

Bruno – That’s the way to do it, prove everyone wrong. (That’s the idea.) Put so much power in it. (Backside, mouth, engage.)

(Here comes the over-marking to try and save a failing BBC favourite.)

6, 8, 7, 8 (4)

Tess – What could possibly go wrong with live dancing dogs. What an irony.

 

Steve and Ola

Charleston

Dem Bones Dem Bones – Kay Starr

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Grisly gallivanter and spritey stupidity saw Ola get scared and screamed when numpty Steve said they would venture inside a Museum. Scary being cultured and educated from systemic perversions.

Both pop out in comedy fashion from behind Ancient Egyptian masts, in bones. Very loose and having no oomph or style. Pair stand side by side and move a bit every second. Silly waving jazz hands ruining lunacy. Almost drops Ola on lift. Nothing involved at all and very empty. There was nothing in there except on the spot moments. Sad.

Darcey – Was worried, couple of lags going wrong. About being cheeky, fast and fun. I know you’ve got it in you. (How do you know this?)

Len – Was quirky. Little things, missed it. Fun, enjoyable and nice to watch. (Really?)

Bruno – Your charm. Felt bit held back. I’m sure you’ll be back to dazzle us my darling.

Craig – Lifts very messy. There were, actually, Darcey. Timing completely out. One section went beautifully.

5, 7, 7, 7 (4)

The week of over-marking always exists under Louise Rainbow, so called Executive Producer. Her excellent hits were, if you remember it, The Farm. All her shows have failed since. Keep a favourite in marks ruin any credibility of the BBC. X-Factor styling is why its failing. Sack her and get an actual professional who knows what to do. Though BBC are very bitter at being told how to succeed. All they needed to do was sack a few people in time of a crisis, instead they failed and the Sir Jimmy Savile sex scandal was upon us, revealing how the BBC allowed convicted multiple sex peadophile Sir Jimmy Savile to operate his abuse on the BBC’s door. You cannot remove a knighthood from some when when they die. Sir Jimmy Savile was given unprecedented access to be allowed to attack millions and BBC worker turned a blind eye to the BBC icon.

 

 

Pixie and Trent

Paso Doble

Danger! High Voltage – Electric Six

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Petrified elven Pixie was as frozen as her core. Pumpkin princess it was not.

Pixie gets her hair frizzed in the malfunctioning hair steamer. Good work to the floor and close connection with Trent but lots of over-reliance on Trent. Can’t seem to work on her own and playing routine too safe. Neat footwork and grace with transitions. Failing to boost star quality though.

Len – Loved your verve and energy. Your right arm, kept doing weird things. Loved the number.

Bruno – Listen. Bad Hair Day can’t stop you. Loved quirky details in dance. Don’t forget to condition darling, you’re worth it. (Will BBC be paying L’Oreal extra for that Advert?) (No Product Placement logo shown.)

Craig – Completely full of detail. Fantastic steps. Partnership extraordinary. Fantastic.

Darcey – Fierce and strong. So exciting to watch.

8, 8, 8, 9, (8) (There’s always one.)

 

 

Judy and Anton

American Smooth

Cruella de Vil – 101 Dalmatians

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What is she on? Oh look its BBC infatuation time with tennis ace Andy Murray. Judy’s claim to fame for a successful gene pool couldn’t make BBC’s show any more awkward. Jaunting and daunting, Judy….

Judy rides in on a air car as Anton loses control of two real Dalmatians. Goodness sake. Anton picks Judy up into hold and Judy again talks around like every week previously. Anton lifts her up and around. Still stiff and devoid of any emotion. Not in terms of character. Was lugged around by Anton and did no dancing at all. Has never improved once. Will get the granny votes again.

Bruno – You’re confusing American Smooth with American Stiff. Deliver whats expected from you, nothing.

Craig – Those dogs at beginning had more grace and style. Like dancing with a mannequin.

Darcey – You looked amazing. (Waffles on again.)

Len – Captured the character. Don’t listen to the Warlock over her (meaning Craig) (Yes Len, say all the stuff from the earpiece. Poor Judy, so hard being useless)

Zoe – Sharon Stone is following your progress! (Oh, BBC like celebrity followers instead. They cannot fathom why the show is such a failure now.)

3, 6, 6, 5 (1)

 

Jake and Janette

Paso Doble

Black Betty – Ram Jam

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Jack-o-lantern cape cruiser wizard working darkly magical mystery. Bats fly out of the cape on CGI. Why? Good move to floor. Strong footwork. Commanding role with footwork together and Janette under control. Leading man of Janette. Amazing one leg on floor spin around by Jake with other of Janette’s up to his shoulder.

Craig – Was disappointed. Bit stilted. Steps didn’t seem to connect. wasn’t your best one, sorry.

Darcey – I feel little bit the same. Too upright. I know you have so much ability and know you’ll come back. (

Len – I don’t agree. Get right into the character of the dance. Shaping more exaggerated.

Bruno – As a performer, brilliant.

Nice try BBC, trying to pick on someone we gave praise to unbiasedly as the show and you think its one of our favourites which is not the case. We’ve critiqued fairly and couldn’t care less but BBC think it shall attack ‘our favourites’ to prove an inside point of not liking such critique. Only people you’re ruining are yourselves. We don’t have any. Though you do. Systemic much? Even trying to get Len to sound good after last wee’s wrongful boot off won’t save you from BS.

6, 7, 8, 8 (8)

 

 

Caroline and Pasha

Samba

La Freak – Chic

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Curdling minx Caz and party prince Pasha shake a shocking Samba spirit.Caroline struts her stuff from around the graveyard. Out of the coffin comes, not Sir Jim, but Pasha. They work to the floor well but lacking some real buzz. Watered down and timid than groovy oomph. Like a rehearsal playing to no-one than a crowd. Not best music on this week either. Great track, wrong time. Mismanaged.

Darcey – Mad Hairstyles. Controlled and clean. Sometimes lose the vibe of the dance.

Len – Wasn’t best but wasn’t worst.pasha

Bruno – Hot favourite. never forget it.

Craig – Little phonetic and clean, but I loved it.

7, 8, 8, 9 (7)  (There’s always one. Again.)

 

 

Scott and Joanne

Foxtrot

Addams Family Theme

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Creepy, kooky and plain kack comes Scott Mills. Around and around like a windmill Scottie goes. Someone beam him up to the mothership. He could use a less rigid probe. Should have come out like chuckles the clown. “With Craig, I edit out” Failure to listen is a pathetic quality that get you nowhere fast. The gays can’t save you forever on a poor gay man sympathy vote.

There’s a hand out of a coffin table. Now then… Scott comes to the floor and literally walks around and then lifts arms up in zombified stupidity. He runs around Joanne as his prop to cheesy sounds. Walks around on floor with nothing. Lumbered, cheap and rigid. No dancing on the spot whatsoever. What a poor disgrace for TV. Literally did no dancing. Shameful.

Len – It was fun and entertaining. It was your best.

Bruno – If this was called Strictly No Dancing, you would win. I like you. Was really good fun.

Craig – Sadly, hasn’t really helped you. Anyway…

Darcey – You were terrific. (Someone just boot her off, now.)

3, 6, 6, 6 (0)

 

Tess – A three from Craig?! That was great. What did you think (Asking coffin hand) Is that you Donny? Get back in your box.

Looks like the ghost of Sir Jimmy Savile is still lurking.

 

 

Mark and Karen

Jive

Little Shop of Horrors Theme

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If you’ve ever seen this classic, you might want to turn off. Goon Mark and Karen seem intent on spoiling classic themes every week for a bit of a laugh. There are more laughs in an uphill Mausoleum with this dance application. Mark didn’t show us another episode of his super excellence of ‘Holllywood Nights’ Muhahahhahaa!

Karen gives Mark a glitzy box. The pair then dance on spot and do some aeroplane arms for cheap thrill. Laboured approach. Karen jumps in the dance on her own. Pair accentuate their crutches again. That’s vagina and penis regions, to you and me. Trotting along horse Mark runs over the dancefloor, forgetting what a Jive.

Karen – Gobs off about Mark unfairly. “Everyday he works and works.” Please donate to the Mark Wright bellend continues to dance charity, please.

Bruno – Feed Me! Best dance yet.

Craig – Bravo darling. (How much you getting paid?)

Darcey – Suppleness with those legs, I could go on and on. Got high hopes for you now, babe.

Mark – I don’t expect to do a good dance. (If you want Honesty, listen up, it wasn’t good. Standard and cheesy penis thrusts wont save you from lame steps.)

Len – (Said something brief.)

8, 9, 9, 9 (5) (So the BBC love in continues with systemic, corrupt marking relayed from the top bosses. Yeah that was a world class dance, wasn’t it, BBC? Do you even care about your worldwide reputation? Are you purposely sabotaging yourself for a laugh? You need real PR management. And not David Cameron’s corrupt interventions.)

 

Frankie and Kevin

Tango

Defying Gravity – Wicked

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A contemporary Tango which was a bit lacking and safe with swift in turn saves from Kevin. Keeps spinning around in hold around the center. Cannot dance without Kevin. Leaves him to pick up a broom and be airlifted to the sky to raise a green curtain. Empty and had nothing but Kevin flying around the floor. Really needs to start dancing.

Craig – One Word. FAB-U-LOUS.

Darcey – That was so beautiful. So taken away with your performance.

Len –  That was a spectacular number. (Oh here we go.)

Bruno – Nearly brought me to tears. Technique was superb.

These decisions never help these ‘types’ longterm by getting favours to the final. She won’t win. This performance made that happen with the judges self-loathing for a ‘pretty little girl.’

9, 9, 9, 10 (7)

(The’s always one. Again. This year’s Wagner off X-Factor has landed. Looks like Strictly is about to lose viewers. How clever. Audiences don’t like this sort of lunacy. Neither does Sir Bruce Forstyh, who quit the failing show under Rainbow’s command.)

 

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Steve, Sunetra and Alison

Best dance of night?

Jake and Janette

 

For the BBC trying to meddle with the show and think no-one ever notices was yet another arrogant behaviour just like the Sir Jimmy Savile sex abuse scandal. The ghost of Sir Jim still lies firmly in the BBC’s broom cupboard. Telling the judges to over-mark and save the favourites proved the BBC and its Strictly production team are way out of their depth. At this rate nothing will save it if BBC fails to improve. Trying to rig it to save the faves from the boot, maybe you should not have hire idiots like Scott, Judy and Mark. Strictly used to be respected for its talent and skill. Not any more. Email me to save your backside. You need it more than ever. Strictly’s curtain is coming fast.

What BBC d to do now is sack a number of people. Adding us would also benefit, obviously, but are the BBC too bitter to listen and make a positive because it thinks it is the be all and end all? The licence fee is in serious jeopardy, that’s for sure.

BBC need to sack Rainbow and equally loser producers. Darcey Bussell and Bruno the loono need to go. Just because ‘rival’ Simon Cowell is trying to eye up Bruno for Britain’s Got Talent as his new best friend in secret meetings wont hurt BBC. Very ungracious, too. Len is passable but questionable. Craig is the only saving grace. Karen Hauer needs the sack. Sorry Kevin, but its true. Tess Daly could easily be binned as well. She’s had her chances. The whole comedy ‘how could you, so bad, oh no’ attitude has failed. We gave her a lot of praise. Keep Zoe Ball and Claudia as the new hosts. If Anton is only there to help the aged, then stop hiring oldies and send Anton on his way. It’s not working. Get Anya Garnis back. Why she was dropped was ridiculous. She’s a pro.

BBC aren’t putting on a show anymore. Strictly has now become about how rotten it is from the inside core and needs severe fixing pronto. FalseFabs is also available for consultations. Hit the contact tab and send an email. Put your pride aside and save your brand, or suffer the fallout and rip it apart instead. It’s your choice and the public wont bail you out any longer for further failures. For audiences Strictly has not become fun or entertaining any longer and shadows a sickening perversion of abusing the public trust. Pick those socks up.

 

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