Strictly Come Dancing 2014,
Week 11: Quarter Finals
It’s the Quarter Finals! About time. Feels like forever with this over-marking rubbish. Back are the hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman. Joining them are the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our frank, professional and honest score is in brackets as well.
Simon and Kristina
Heartache Tonight – Michael Buble
Simon tries hard but it was too cheesy. Watered-down, limp and double-step counts as a lift. Was very awkward. Made up little with good lift spin of Kristina face forward spiral held by both hands.
8, 9, 9, 9 (8)
Caroline and Pasha
Caroline got some fresh tips from a friend who knows everything about ballroom dancing. Some bloke called Olly Murs, who always criticises X Factor for making him the toll he is today. Though he doesn’t mind going on it to try and flog a single at every call. Muppet. Tonight he’s on Strictly. Muppet.
Caroline started with a good few lifts and kicks helped with Pasha. Looking very controlled and classy. Sophisticated movement around the floor with good interactions and partnership with Pasha. Nearly flawless. Almost. Still good enough, with feeling and skill.
9, 10, 10, 10 (10) (Our second, and first for Caroline!)
Pixie and Trent
Love Shack – B52’s
Pixie turned around with her pink thrills to get Trent in the groove. Dancing around some weird 1970’s groovy coloured cushions and living room sofa’s the pair moved very well together. Occasionally walking into Trent generally from Pixie was weak. Too simple and easy made it very lame and lacking. Skill there but personality flawed. Was again a tad boring. Seriously. Let yourself go.
Craig – Spectacular but little stiff.
Darcey – Zest, energy, came alive. Was an inconsistency with leg action. Awkward.
Len – I’ve been a little bit lenient with lifts early this season. If I see any next week, I’ll penalise you. You did three. (Well do it now, then. You’re a judge!)
9, 9, 8, 9 (7)
Mark and Karen
L-O-V-E – Nat King Cole
Gormless gobshite Mark Wright (Oh, that rhymes) played the sympathy card for audience votes. Flashing his teeth and jumping up with a lift waited for Karen to join him in hold. Standing on spot and waiting for Karen to move arms down. Stands and holds arms out on spot again. Tacky footwork. Moving around like a stick ultra-stiff. Circles around same area couple of times lost. Bad arm extensions and sad clapping moments. Ends on the letter seat. All teeth and no substance. Not barely any dancing in many places.
Darcey – Oh Yeah. (To Tess asking if she felt the love.) Liked that very much.
Bruno – You charmer you. Never been smoother. Well done mate. (Just ask him for a fuck and get over it! Biased crap.)
8, 9, 9, 9 (7)
Jake and Janette
Entry of the Gladiators – Ken Griffin’s Circus Band
Off to the circus. Janette makes way to the floor with a classy cartwheel. Jake takes control and leads his lady. Good hop along and captivating lift upside down Ferris wheeling. Proving ability to dance in singular moments. Controlled movement, strong power and entertaining fun. Always intriguing to watch which no other dancer has. Such personality with skill.
Len – Circus of delight.
Craig – Impressive character. Strong, quirky. I don’t know where it comes from.
Darcey – So in sync. Such imaginative lifts. Energy throughout.
9, 9, 10, 10 (10) (Our second for Jake!)
Frankie and Kevin
Work – Kelly Rowland (Freemasons edit)
Frankie starts grinding a iron rod for no reason and gets to the floor to shimmy then run into Kevin. Very weak. Does moment for cheap reaction from crowd. Sloppy hand grooves like washing the car windows. Awkward lift over. Clear to see pressure taking over by trying to push harder, which we appreciate. Very statuesque of leg hand widening jumps. Good end on pointed down to toes lift. Okay, but still lacking real thrust.
Bruno – You really have the tools of the trade. Plenty of bookings coming your way!
Craig – Little bit haphazard, lost fluidity. Incredible dancer.
Darcey – Packed full of moves. Didn’t look as comfortable, but fast, fun disco Salsa.
Len – Little bit rough around the edges.
8, 9, 8, 9 (8)
The ‘Waltz-athon’ is up now. This will rank every couple from 1-6 and points allocated. It could change all the scores. Here we go. Will Pixie and Frankie make it big? All are on the floor together and the judges will choose whose in and whose out.
Pixie , Caroline and Jake begin with personality as the other three stand around for most of it before getting going. Lots of control from Jake and Caroline. Mark simply standing in the middle as Karen dips down. Frankie doing okay. Simon lost in mix.
Oh, so they are not eliminated whilst on the floor. How daft. Make it up as you go along with the producers in the ear. SAVE PIXIE do they say?
In sixth place is Jake and Janette. Producers love marking him down.
Fifth is Mark and Karen. Fourth is Caroline and Pasha. Third is Simon and Kristina. Second is Frankie and Kevin. Winners are Pixie and Trent. It couldn’t be more fixed if it tried.
Should have been Mark and Karen, Frankie and Kevin, Simon and Kristina, Jake and Janette, Caroline and Pasha, Pixie and Trent. Ever trustworthy is the BBC. Do you not even care about your already perverted reputation?
If you can’t fix it, get someone who can. 🙂
Come on Rona, sort it out.