Strictly Come Dancing 2015,
Week 4: (Unofficial) 80’s Week
This week is a glorious (or pitiful depending on how you look at it) attempt at recreating the (unofficial) 80’s magic, on the Strictly dancefloor. Flares, glitzy sequins and shaggy perms were all the rage back in the day and tonight Strictly, in pure comedy season, let us down once again. Cheap and tacky cocktails with sad interactions did not shine a glittering light on this series as yet.
Tess and Claudia return in what could only be described as Edward Scissorhands let loose on the wardrobe department. A loss of dress structure to look, err, different (?) certainly achieved it. Halloween Week is in two weeks.
Back are the four judges Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno, along with FalseFabs, (in brackets), giving their honest and insightful critique online. We keep it real from the lunacy of over-marking that ruins the show entirely.
Dave Arch and his crew of singers and percussionist perfections are on hand to help Orchestra.
Anita and Gleb
Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira
The first of the series for the Samba. Anita! Anita! Gleb is a groovy DJ this week as Anita gets some good wiggling sass on her shimmys. Fun filled dance and music set the mood. Feet were decent but a little lacking this week. Great attempt with lots of enthusiasm. Still a hot partnership, but needs to get more passionate together and lose confidence blockers.
Craig said it was a little stiff as Len noted it took some time to get started. Darcey felt Anita’s determination but was sidetracked by gorgeous Gleb. He has some interesting white trousers, which looked totally cool. He lost his shirt in the auditorium, nicknamed the Claudeatorium in honour of Claudia.
6, 7, 7, 7 (7)
Daniel and Kristina
Fly Me to The Moon – Frank Sinatra
On the fourth week Kristina gave troubled Daniel a spot of cheap puns again. He’s now a pilot to fit the music piece. Lacking smoothness and attack. Dry and tepid. No action, weak arms and basic steps. Not good enough for this week’s standard. Should be much more improved than baby steps.
Darcey enjoyed the take-off and landing lifts. Who wouldn’t? (That’s sarcasm, if your guessing.)
5, 6, 6, 6 (3)
Kirsty and Brendan
Beautiful Day – U2
A modern Paso which lacked skill, style or passion. Blergh! Just as nauseatin as her dress colours. Kirsty attempts to try but her trying is simply trying, on us. No connectivity, no sharpness, no oomph. A wet lettuce strained to the ringer. Dull, useless and all over the place. Shoddy arms and all a bit choppy. Embarrassing.
Craig – As much shape as a broomstick. (Brendan is the knobs on, bit then? :o)
Len – Like paella. Tasty in places but not others.
4, 6, 6, 5 (3)
Georgia and Giovanni
Reach – S Club 7
The disturbing relationship between these two with Lothario Giovanni fawning over bubblegum pop come sublime tart Georgia is somewhat distasteful. Regardless, their dance was weak. Too much skips which were off and footwork was adequate but not fantastic. Looked very amateurish. Too much based on vanity and looks than actual dancing to carry their votes loses their dance aptitude. Oh, and I do love how they listened to one tweet of ours. After commenting we would keep rival show X Factor’s ‘Italian with wings on’ tonight Giovanni, an Italian, is wearing wings!
Darcey was in typical gush mode. She said it was a dream to watch and lied through her teeth again. If this continues, then what is the actual point of her being on the show? To fancy ever cheap bloke thrown at her? Classy Darcey Len said last week. More like Tarty Darcey.
She added Georgia lost her shoulders.
Len said it was more drab than fab. So how can you constitute the mark you are about to give?
Craig said she needed to smile more. (Both are way too serious.)
Bruno blabbed about something which was not really translatable. Bruno and Giovanni, sitting in a tree… (I don’t think he is your ‘type’ Bruno and he would not hesitate to punch you down.)
7, 7, 9, 8 (6)
Jeremy and Karen
Splish Splash – Bobby Darin
This was utterly horrendous. Jeremy looking like rigormortis on the floor with the pure definition of creep. It was disturbing and not dance thrills. It was scary, hobbling and clunky with feet, shoulders and lunges. Karen dressed up in rehearsals as a Fraggle. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! At least she did something good. Fraggle Rock. Though the incorporation in the dance ruins all the fun. He just as not, got, it. We are trying to see something good, but where is it?
Len said he was not the most consistent dancer but most fun.
Bruno reckoned it was artistic. Maybe you want to visit a museum with Caravaggio, Picasso or Michelangelo? Are you purposely taking the p*ss?
Craig said it was like watching a stork dancing being struck by lightning.
3, 6, 6, 5 (3)
Kellie and Kevin
Dream a Little Dream – Mama Cass
Kellie used her grandparents love story as inspiration in a touching tale on the floor tonight. Good posture, strong feet and decent frame. Strong partner in lovable Kevin helps connection further. A gorgeous routine and great content with moderate run through despite minor bits not being completely perfect. It is Week 5, so plenty to aim for. Has capability to do so but must get closer to Kevin and let go and feel the party spirit.
Bruno said it was nostalgic, like watching a documentary on BBC4. He meant it as a compliment but was lost on many of the audience who don’t know what that actually is. Nostalgic? Any old word will do now?
Craig said it was clean and confident.
8, 8, 8, 8 (8)
Jamelia and Tristan
Straight Up – Paula Abdul
Jamelia didn’t look too classy with her get up. Less ragtime more shagtime with a Pretty Woman / Julia Roberts wig on. Her dress wasn’t too grand. Ah well, here we go. Strong spins and turns from Jamelia but little dizzy coming out of them and has habit to lose herself from Tristan’s swift flings. Many might feel that way looking at him. Amazing lifts with classy feel and great rhythm.
Craig thought it was Jamelia’s dance.
Len added it was her best dance with knobs on. (Tristan looks better than Brendan at this point.)
Bruno said she was right on it, the ultimate flapper. (Thank goodness he didn’t mean fluffer.)
8, 8, 8, 8 (8)
Jay and Aliona
My Generation – The Who
? What is this?
After last week’s seriously over-marked Jive which was only worth a seven, Jay has been put on a mega pedestal. It was revealed last week that Jay has had dance training and he choreographed routines for his defunct boyband. This week was horrible and really exposed how not great he actually is. Both start by running on the dance. Once in hold, used as protection, was basic. Strong gallops and patchy footwork did not look great. It was a total mess and completely collapsed in the middle to end. What a shambles. Such a good idea to mark high for producer’s ego’s to outdo the previous Jive of Jill Halfpenny, which is Strictly’s best ever.
Darcey could not lie anymore and said there were too many mistakes.
Len thought it was very fast and Jay’s brain could not handle the steps.
Bruno said his bum was sticking out.
Craig finished with too many mistakes.
5, 7, 6, 7 (4)
Carol and Pasha
Espana Cani – Trad
Where to begin. This was much better than all her previous non-dances, but used the Paso as an opportunity to cover up taking it easy. This far in the competition, Carol must deliver something. Her arms were too animated and limp. Lacked sharpness, but had some tension. Was still a dance on the spot thing, but moved a tad more than before. Better but still not good enough.
5, 6, 6, 5 (4)
Ainsley and Natalie
What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong
After being saved last week, Ainsley proved his weight. An endearing, smooth and serene working across the floor in hold with Natalie. Grace, elegance and style. As a natural smiler, clear to see Ainsley enjoying the dance and feeling the Strictly bug. Beautiful.
Bruno said it needed more arm extension, but good intention.
Craig enjoyed the frame and posture but pointed out losing the end routine a tad.
Len added he lost his hold but had no mistakes and great footwork.
6, 7, 7, 6 (7)
Helen and Aljaz
Doctor Beat – Miami Sound Machine
For training Aljaz takes her up the shard. Lucky her. Doctor Aljaz gets it going as Helen gets lots of splits and flicks in. Some of her knickers were flashed, but unlike others, kept it as a classy way to incorporate into the dance and keep feel. Lacked some finer content and could have used her body more with shakes and jhuzzh. Using her legs to advantage, where feet were well utilised.
Craig wanted to see Helen “earth the grind” (If you can figure out that one. We do. :D)
Darcey loved the list at the end and enjoyed Helen’s spicy side coming out.
Len wanted to have a knee replacement in their hospital.
Bruno said she was a saucy nurse.
8, 8, 8, 8 (8)
Peter and Janette
Blue Monday – New Order
The pair stop playing cards and launch into a vibrant and freshly fast Tango. Lots of interesting thrusts and strong musicality. Giving it full enthusiasm and channeling dark but entertaining rhythm. Bags of style and smooth action. Janette doing another great job on content. Tight and tender.
Darcey loved Janette’s choreography. Had focus and belief she added.
Bruno said what Darcey said.
Craig felt it was dynamic and had real purpose. Exactly what was needed from a Tango.
8, 8, 8, 8 (8)
Katie and Anton
If I Can Dream – Elvis Presley
Anton truly does have a partner this year that is going along with him for the ride and not stumbling at the first block. Little stumbles and timing off in places but fantastic rotations throughout on every one. Really good and consistent. God content. Smooth grace. Anton is actually in a dance contest this year. He must be chuffed to bits.
Len said it was light and fluffy.
8, 8, 9, 8 (8)
So who might be likely to leave? As ever we list three who might be going based on their dances. Falling into the danger zone in no particular order, of course, are…
Kirsty, Carol and Daniel
Results to follow.