Strictly Come Dancing 2013, Week 7 Results

Strictly Come Dancing, Week 7 Results

dave 7 res

This week was spoiled by the BBC and its shoddy iPlayer, so in true fashionable homage to them…

Dave Myers left Strictly.

iPlayer cock up, day 2

The imbeciles at BBC HQ ruined the Strictly experience from a number of viewers providing a huge backlash to the content online. The iPlayer show has yet to be uploaded at 22.53pm. Fans believe the BBC is purposely holding them to ransom with lazy politics of stewing over.

The idiot in control of BBC’s online content decides once again to tell you the ending on the page once again as it front page headline which really pisses fans off. Then the BBC have the cheek to ask how to improve the site and then fail to listen. Sacking ‘Strictly Nora’ seems like a good start.

chris-patten

Fans are dissatisfied with the BBC backward approach and have lost touch with the Strictly experience wherenumbers say they may leave the show just like X Factor before them. If the BBC are to ever turn a corner it needs to stop being so stubborn, biased and spoil dropping every single time. But, that’s a Tory for you. Lord Patton has an infamous reputation since sweeping the Jimmy Savile sex and child abuse paedophilia scandal under the carpet for decades since the 1970s with a ‘groupie gets abused’ culture in dressing rooms. Incompetent Lord Patten had been called to MPs over the BBC scandal over the past two years involving millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money being spent on payoff’s for incompetent directors.

IMAGES

Mirror

Strictly Come Dancing 2013, Week 7

SCD Week 7

tess claudia 7

Next week is the prestine glamour that is the Blackpool arena. All couples are so desperate to reach the heights of the sparkly tower, week seven now begins, tougher than ever.

Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman host the week with the most at stake outside of the glitterball trophy.

Natlie Gumede was taken ill and wont dance on the show this evening. See the positive. It gives someone an opportunity to cacth up with the public.

Ben and Kristina

Jive

Jump Jive an’ Wail – Burn the Floor Orchestra

ben kristina 7

This week Ben is decisding to tick the ‘get the gays’ box again by dressing as a stereotypical sailor, which doesn’t contradict his bullying foundation one iota does it? Gay men do not like being stereotyped as one way and this is feeding back into that and labelling them as dirty gays which the community links we have to are not impressed with.

Smiley and wavey Ben on steps. Kristina lone dances. Ben then trampolines onto the floor. Feet very spaky side to side peddling. arms awful in air wafting about aimlessly. Out of ync pin with partner off somewhere else. Pair do a lift with jump at same time. Slow legs back and forth like a wheel cycle. Awkward leg over Krstina’s face showing thigh into her face. Ben chases her to ruffle her dress. Kristina shoves Ben back onto floor which is a second lift to fall down on his back. There was no pace, two lifts, weak movement, steps too rigid and sleeze appeal for women and gays. It was shambolic. It wasn’t a Jive, what-so-ever.

Len – You need to work on your feet.

Bruno – Had irresisable urge to join the navy. Bit wobbly at the bottom. Jive is alll about sharpness. Stay on your toes and sharp on feet. Otherwise, as always, very impressive.

Tess – Do you agree?

Craig – No I dont as a matter of fact. I thought best part of it was the back somersault. Too leden, too laboured as expected.

Ever predicatable Len interrupts – Thats your trouble you exepected thatand so in your mind you were gonna get it.

Craig – That is so untrue. Obvioulsy I know your carrying heavy muscles there.

Infatuated Bruno adds – Nothing wrong with that.

Craig continues – Difficult to keep up pace. Despite your best seamen efforts that is, a, failure.

Hormonal Darcey screams – I disgaree! I disagree! I disagree. (Claps ring from the audience in a glorified pantomime of the dancing show based on fancy votes and lack of skill.)

Comedy frowning sympathy vote Ben hugs gay Bruno.

Darcey finishes off – You proved us wrong. Great attack, great energy. I enjoyed it.

Kristina – OMG he’s gonna put us down…

4, 7, 8, 7 (3)

Fiona and Anton

Paso Doble

Song 2 – Blur

fiona anton 7

Fiona working cape around waist strongly. Good arm around extentions. Keeping up well with Anton and holding her own in routine. Keeping stance and charcter well throughout. Great spin around on end with Anton for glamour girl Fiona.

The greatness of the Dave Arch Orchestra was recognised.

Bruno – I like your dark side. When you go spunky and dark and aggressive. Crnky with the skirt. Timing was actually better than his. You ket it going when something went wrong. Well done.

Craig – Thoughtyou had a good use of skirt darling. Timing precise. However do lose your neck. Pull shoulders back. Little bit indifferent. Little bit vanilla. Adequate but have to say, forgetable.

Biased Tess leaps into the comments – Darcey tell ‘im ‘es’s wrong!

Darcey – Very nice shapes of the arms. Like to see it come from the back.

Len – Element of Falmenco in there. I thought you could have given it a bit more of a firs. Bit more wow. Would have liked you to have stepped up a notch. Well done.

5, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Abbey and Aljaz

Charleston

Cabaret – Liza Minelli

abbey aljaz 7

After the BBC have failed to invite me out of my room to the live studio (your problem, not mine) Abbey and Aljaz had strong presence but step and arms were a little flighty and sweet lacking sharp attack. Good spin around lift onto Aljaz. Good sass but run of the mill. Very ordinary and though she may be saved this wee from dance off depths, has affected her with a timid entry. Abbey gave a good performance and while we think she’ll get the votes this week, it wasn’t mesmerising and could be in the bottom two soon next week if her game isn’t raised with more going for it style than a laid back approach in the routine. That’s advice.

Craig – Stylisation. Enourmous attention to detail incredible. Did not Charleston quietly. Loud. It was proud.

Darcey – To have a hat and do all those things with it. That monkey step at the end, great. Well done Aljaz, you have made a true dancer out of Abbey.

Len – That is AA. That isnt a breakdown at all. Saty in that car, get up the M1, I’ll see you next week in Blackpool.

Bruno – Abey the it girl. Had a bossy influence. Very unsual and very exciting.

9, 9, 9, 9 (8)

Mark and Iveta

Rumba

Goldfinger

mark iveta 7

Blofeld. Iveta seduces the dark and cold chair swirling villian Benton. Good arms and effort but still ‘on the spot’ dancing. Very slow and not playing strenght to dark music. Waits for Iveta to fall into arms. Very empty and throw away, which is a shame for effort given.

Darcey – Mmm, well. Rumba is a dance of love. If only you have drove the floor as you did your wifes pussycat… Bit too bitty for me. Always create an interesting story.

Len – Got gold in your fingers bit of lead in your bum. Rumba is a very diffciult dance for men. Get balance right is tricky business.

Bruno – You tried goldfisnger, look like a fish finger darling. Characterisation spot on. Movement didn’t flow.

Craig – My point is your arms. Hands need shaping. Beautiful arms acheived gorgeously, but hand like spatulas. Concept that actually saved this dance.

Claudia looking like a condom cum femidom now.

claude femidom 7

5, 6, 7, 5 (5)

Susanna and Kevin

Waltz

You Light Up My Life – Whitney Houston

susanna kevin 7

While getting into back to front hold with Kevin behind Susanna leading into twirl around floor gracefully. Smooth but minimal pace. Good and strong rotations. Tidy footwork. Good pull tiptoe glide into lovely spin round end. However was a little empty in parts.

Len – You lit up this ballroom. Fabulous.

Bruno – Timeless. It was beautiful.

Craig – I could not agree more. Brought that frock to life. Hesitation moments beautifully held. I loved it.

Darcey – The boys totally right. So many turns, beautifully done. Love you to strecth a little firther the length in your legs.

9, 9, 9, 9 (8)

Dave and Karen

Tango

I’m Gonna be – The Proclaimers

dave karen 7

Slow and uneventful star and hold in what should have been a sharp thrust together at start. Turns not sharp or interesting. Like watching a puppet moving. Slow tiny one pace steps are unforgivable disaster. Standing there as Karen jiggles shoulders. Given Strictly Myles flag to hold up. Pathetic.

Bruno – Oh Dave. It wasn’t any Tango at all. Stomping around like beast of burden. No passion. It was walked. You look like a crab.

Craig – Little rough around the edges, lets say. Very stompy.

Darcey – So much more dance content than any other dance you’ve done.

FF – (You sure about that?)

Len – Needed a bit more Irn-Bru.

4, 6, 6, 4 (1)

Natalie and Artem

Jive

Proud Mary – Ike and Tina Turner

Bye. Gumede granted week off due to illness in training.

Bye. Gumede granted week off due to illness in training.

Artem spoke to Claudia after the explaination of the bye for Natalie after she had collapsed in training. The rules were clarified considering her health. As above, it gives everyone else a chance to up their game in the contest. We wish Natalie well as did Tess and the Strictly team and professionals.

Ashley and Ola

Quickstep

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? – Jet

ashley ola 7

Strong arms into routine on point. Into hold for contemporary hop along movement held well. Good twirl out of Ola in hold followed with consitent movement around floor. Feet bit careful. Bit timid clicking heels together after. Strong speed towards end jump up on Judges table, collapsing on their slab.

Darcey – Origins come from Jazz era of 1920s. Consistent all the way through. improvement int he angle of your head and top line.

Len – Kept your energy up throughout the dance. Taylor Made.

Bruno – A bit of spit and polish and the sparks are flying. Contorol all over. Your frame was better, Footwork and Timing better.

Craig – Frame and posture is fixing, now have to fix all the gapping. Fantastic energy. Occasionaly took your footwork into your upper body. I thought it was amazing.

8, 9, 9, 9 (9)

Sophie and Brendan

Argentine Tango

Sweet Dreams – Tanghetto

sophie brendan 7

Strong begin. Timid follow through. One leg movement on gauucho. Walking around with Brendan. Intimate stare. Brendan’s favourite lift spins around Bextor. Flatline afterward. Sits down on chair picked by Brendan. Ends on minor hold down. Nothing over than legs, pout and walking. All hype, barely no action. And before Snotty Grotty Brendan moans and fails to listen, we are impartial, not biased. Look, we even have all of Sophie Ellis Bextor’s albums. So stick yer moany beak elsewhere. Thanks.

photo

Len – Loved the story of it. Great lifts.

Bruno – Relase the fire. Needs more tregth and variety.

Craig – Few unstable moments.

Brendan again cuts in and mocks critique for no jusitfiable reason other than childishness.

CRH – Holding yourself so solid, thought you were gonna fall over.

Darcey – Magic position, beautiful lines.

8, 8, 8, 8 (6)

Patrick and Anya

American Smooth

It Had to Be You – Harry Connick Junior

patrick anya 7

Good working around floor but no engagement to influence people again. Needs to capture people fromt he off. Great lift and style with partner. Excellent charisma. Powerful up shoulders lift swirl around down of Anya. Ends strongly. Hwoever, missing key element to grab pepole’s instant attention for votes.

Bruno – So hard to do back in then out.

Craig – Exquisite, exciting. You are the best male celeberity in this comeptition.

Darcey – You ooze style. Perfection. Showed no weeknesses.

Len – As Henry VIII would say, take him to the tower.

(Someone read our mind earlier in the week, then :o)

9, 10, 9, 9 (9)

iPlayer Abuse yet again

Disgruntled fans of the show were miffed as the BBC specifically chose to make the decision not to put the iPlayer show up yet and keep people waiting to mess about with media reports on purpose. The BBC are playing a dangerous game with public opinon. The website has uploaded all the details, backstage gossip and important things to itself even showing the next broadcasts of the show but no Week 7 broadcast. Fans are fed up with the abuse from the BBC website, where clips are uploaded, even now. Many have hit out at the failings of the horrid and ghastly looking website which fails with mismangement. No-one cares either for the ‘backstage’ coverage on the website, which the BBC can never manage correctly. They are too stubborn to listen to advice or people who can make it successful. That’s the abusive bigotry on offer at the Beeb.

The BBC continues to remain backward in failing to give the public, who fund the BBC through taxes from the licence fee, their fundamental right to view content the player is designed for. This is a constant malpractice by the Beeb. iPlayer is a worldwide service.

The BBC are still reeling from failing to handle the Jimmy Savile child abuse case where the pedophile hero of the BBC in the past still dominates the covered up failings by the organisation to deal with a crisis nor give the public what they are paying for.

21.51pm – At this time I send the tweet out explaining its failure to the public. “#BBC #Iplayer is yet another cock up. They are losing huge support from everyone over the abuses to not upload #SCD

21.58pm – BBC upload the content of the week 7 show now.

It always amazes me that just AFTER I tweet, the show is then uploaded.  You can thank me later. And dont ever question my authority again. I have pull.

Danger zone

Who are the top three dancers that could fall into the bottom two?

Fiona, Mark and Susanna

Results to follow…

IMAGES

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing Results: Week 2

tess claudia 2

Opening the show were Tess and Claude including the dreaded dance off and Len’s Lens.

Results are in…

In no particular order the first couple going through is Patrcik and Anya. Other returnees will be Deborah and Robin, Natalie and Artem, Ben and Kristina, Susanna and Kevin, Mark and Iveta.

The first couple heading up the danceoff is Tony and Aliona.

The rest of the results will be announced again shortly.

Matt Goss

When will I be famous

matt goss scd

This one was a Rat Pack version of Bros classic when will I be famous. It was a good chance to see something different, but, of course, fans will only ever love the up tempo original more. It was a decent Strictly tone of the song.

Len’s Lens

Returning is the “detailed, tiny little nuggets” up for discussion with Claudia and the judges. Up for chat was Susanna’s Viennese cakes, Natalie’s swan neck, Bruno’s conductor skills with counting along where revealed. Mark’s groovy style praised by Craig for personality. Final shot was of Craig having a snazzy dance with Darcey towards the end of the live show. Groovy, darling!

The results are back and going through to next Saturday are Ashley and Ola, Abbey and Aljaz, Dave and Karen, Rachel and Pasha, Sophie and Brendan, Fiona and Anton.

The second couple joining the dance of is Julien and Janette, leaving Vanessa and James safe to next week.

The dance off

 

 

Julien and Janette

Tango

Applause – Lady Gaga

A good second performance with leading qualities despite slowness in tune with tempo of Tango requirements.

Tony and Aliona

Charleston

It Don’t Mean A Thing (If Ain’t Got That Swing) – Duke Ellington and Irving Mills

Dancing around golf club again showed no sustained improvement at all and only show off Aliona once more.

The Judges Vote

If there is a tie then head judge, Len, will have the deciding vote.

Craig – I’d like to save Julien and Janette.

Darcey – The couple I would like to save is Julien and Janette.

Bruno – I would like to see stay, Julien and Janette.

“I’m a tough pupil” Tony mentions as trying to pitch for unsophisticated Aliona in a graceful appeal.

Len – You’ve been one of my golfing heroes all my life, but would have gone with Julien and Janette.

tony aliona 3

dance off 2

BBC iPlayer goes wrong again

Catch up service BBC iPlayer once again made a huge error, as always, this time giving away the result and image on the front of its results catch up episode spoiling the show for viewers. Everyone in television knows and follows the convention that it is cardinal sin to reveal a result before paying the clip/s.

Why is it so difficult for anyone to do the simplest of tasks efficiently? It is not rocket science. Fans felt the BBC once again proved it is incompetent at finding talent to proceed, direct or helpful run the ideas correctly with its own practices of entertainment on offer. The BBC is funded by the taxpayer, without choice of an opt in / out service.

It’s a demanding job, but you’ve gotta get it right, darling.

IMAGES

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing Week 2

Opening the show on the second live evening where last week’s votes are carried over to this week’s will see the first elimination on tomorrow (Sunday) night’s results show. Sadly, Brucie was given the night off after having the flu leaving Tess Daly to host with Claudia Winkleman in the auditorium. Tonight’s show was full of improvement, game raising and all things glitz. Read on…

tess claudia2

As ever back are the judges Craig Revel Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our professional score is also added in brackets alongside.

Susanna and Kevin

Tango

Locked Out of Heaven – Bruno Mars

susanna kevin 2

Good toes pointed to and kept on floor as dragged around floor. Almost fell wrong during sharp back tilt quickly caught by Kevin. Kevin’s re-work of Susanna hid any more possible misses and attempted to recover routine where Susanna hit back with strong finish and leg kicks despite mishap slightly off kiltering them overall. Sharp cover up, however did help, somewhat.

LG – I think you put the go in Tango. Crisp. Frame little bit loose. Loose connection sometimes. Two dances down, so far so fabulous.

BT – Fire, flare attack. Very important in Tango. You have so much attack frame goes a little bit. Add control to your spirit.

CRH – Full of drama nad intent. Rigid. Dance on a whole was very, very good.

DB – Loving your conviction. Left shoulder does lift and merk. So fab to watch you.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Tony and Aliona

Charleston

It Don’t Mean A Thing (If Ain’t Got That Swing) – Duke Ellington and Irving Mills

tony aliona 2

Happy to be here Jacklin does the obvious golf set up clad in chequered clobber. Using a club to pair them completely ignoring the premise of show, then sees show off Aliona cartwheel her own way backward leaving Jacklin isolated. Terrible kicks from Jackin whilst constantly carrying partner around to have something to do. Someone get him the caddy. Absolutely rotten.

BT – I don’t know what it swung me but not in place I wanted it to go. [Homophobic Aliona not impressed with Bruno’s swing joke.] Timing off no swing lots of fishing. Wasn’t really a good Charleston was it.

Tess – Oh no, it’s Judge Dread,

CRH – Should be lively energetic, phonetic unfortunately yours was limp lame and lacklustre. Devoid of any real characterisation.

DB – Difference, confidence you hit each lift. Improvement from last week a godsend.

LG – At 69 to dance a very energetic dance I commend you for that. Very character driven. You’re a sportsman not an actor.

2, 4, 4, 3 (1)

Natalie and Artem

Waltz

If I Aint Got You – Alicia Keys

artem natalie 2

Mood, tone and graceful connection set ballroom scene beautifully. Good head tilts in turn. Careful footwork smooth. Felt light, breezy and clandestine.

CRH – I was moved, however some occasional gaping. Loved use of skirt. Breath-taking.

DB – You have the quality, the feeling. Beautiful stretch. One to watch.

LG – Loved feel of it. Grace and elegance. Absolutely corking.

BT – Incredible control and confidence for week 2. Fluidity of hands and arms, tell a story with each flicker of your wrist. Dance is a performing art.

8,9,8,9 (8)

Dave and Karen

American Smooth

How Do You Like Your Eggs in the Morning? by Dean Martin and Helen O’Connell

Dave Karen 2

Hairy Baker Dave did a kitchen come dancing set up complete with eggs background sound. Decent lift but felt very horizontal only for Karen. Waits for Karen after spins. Caveman Dave lifts Karen off chair for a lift after she scales it for him. Ends with a glitzy gold American Football helmet and no interest, style or presence and only ‘made it through’ a routine. Dull as dishwater, darling. May be the resident coast through, lovable rogue only. It’s a once in a lifetime experience. Go for it, or go home.

DB – Certainly tamed that excitement. Beautiful long arms but get bit paddly. Actually touch her. Shame you had to use a chair to get into that lift.

LG – Always handy to get a bunk up. Bit bumpy but landed safely and got through it. Appreciated those lovely heel leads. Fun to watch.

BT – Like a disaster movie. Cooking up a storm, you’re cooking up a stink. Got to listen to the music. Sense of musicality. I do appreciate the fun factor but still have to the feet down on the right bit at the right time.

TD – Craig, I hope it gets more than a two from you this week.

CRH – Dancing it by numbers. Lacked style but can build in. Lift a little bit lumberjackish but like Darcey, I do like you.

3, 5, 5, 4 (3)

Patrick and Anya

Tango

Beat It – Michael Jackson

patricj anya 2

Wind up key starts the couple off. Very strong first motion. Joins sharp attack with Anya in hold. Easy guiding along after but hold power of mood still. Decent work around. Powerful couple capable of much more. Showed mechanical skill and style no one else has yet delivered in difference. Patrick ends by freezing partner who awakened him in turn of tables.

LG – Hold could have been tighter. Danced with lot of verve and energy. You’ll be hanging around for weeks.

BT – Strong and gritty. Lost bit of frame.

CRH – Your bottom does stick out a little so tuck it under. Stepping off on ball instead of heel. Timing impeccable.

DB – Strong, masculine. Try use whole back as you change. One to watch.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Deborah and Robin

Cha Cha

Respect – Aretha Franklin

deborah robin 2

Deb goads Dragon Craig between panel bar and dancefloor. Smiley attitude good fun. Little lost in hold into spin around by Rob. Not fully into arm work on flim flam sway arms from up to down motions.

BT – Like a tribute act. Love bubbly, feisty, frivolous personality. Still have to do much more hip action better place of feet.

CRH – Dragon verses drag queen darling, be careful. Great attitude but must straighten legs. Very stompy. Joy to watch.

DB – Loving your zest for performance. Great to watch somebody go for it. Your timing is good.

LG – Cheeky. For complete package got to work on technique.

[Len was supposed to start the comments roll, just to add. :p]

5, 7, 6, 6 (6)

Rachel and Pasha

Salsa

Get Lucky – Daft Punk

rachel pasha 2

Constant prop use could become distraction that becomes costly. In hold weak again. Struts along, Pasha follows on knees. Fair arm through entanglements. Easy fling backs as only interest. Lift (allowed) around leg spin over Pasha to finish with no impact. Forgettable.

CRH – Wriggling around like a slug in salt. Awkward.

DB – Didn’t get that time to it. Push. Bit wishy washy.

LG – Little bit careful again. Come out and really wow us. Good fun.

BT – Gorgeous rag doll. Worst thing of all is your balance. Concentrate, work on your strength ‘cos you’ve got the beauty.

4, 5, 6, 5 (5)

Vanessa and James

Waltz

Run to you – Whitney Houston

james vanessa 2

Hard concentration in eyes. Good back leg spin head tilt. Bit empty and safe led mostly by James as a guide into dance. Vanessa needs more of own presence, though not over animated incorporated.

DB – Emotion of romance. Soften the knees and you’ll get more glide to loosen up a bit.

LG – Poignant, romance, bit of a story. Gotta work bit more on the details. Small things to make it into a complete package.

BT – Deeply felt. Connected, involved. By doing so, moving better.

CRH – Definitely comfortable in hold. You’ve done a lovely job, James.

5, 6, 6, 6 (5)

Julien and Janette

Tango

Applause – Lady Gaga

julien janette 2

Showing strong command as lead. Good in hold, despite stance little wayward. Overall decent hold and guidance of partner. Working floor well. Interest of audience. Rises above Manrara. Was OK for week 2 starter. One of few males who has led during start of competition which is most difficult for all male celeb’s to do so. Most of the male celeb’s are still struggling with that.

LG – Tango is like a Cactus – sharp and spiteful. Bit of an orchid. Did with conviction. Good go.

BT – Didn’t know if I was watching a Tango or a Paso Doble.

CRH – Posture, I’m afraid, is ghastly. Not your best, darling.

Tess asks – “Better than last week?”

CRH – No

DB – Loved the attack, came out with conviction.

3, 5, 5, 5 (5)

Fiona and Anton

Cha Cha

Beggin’ – Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

fiona anton 2

Good lone dance sass. In hold strong prominence from Fullerton. Enjoying the music and dance. Just concentrate on the move as going along with enthusiasm. Almost slipped back, supported by Anton. Working the legs. Very decent. Anton also stands accused of having a stiffy by eagle eyed viewers who thought he may have got one whilst other claim his partner was too. 😮

BT – No need to beg just need to dance darling. Do it right!

TD – Was it the nerves?

(Fiona agrees) – Yeah.

CRH – Thought you were very good till you kicked Anton in the shin. Nice couple, love watching you dance.

DB – Lose consistency. Very controlled. Lots of promise.

LG – Stuff on your own, right on time. There was the incident. Never recovered after that.

6, 6, 5, 5 (6)

Mark and Iveta

Salsa

Bom Bom Bom – Sam and the Womp

mark iveta 2

Channelling Austin Powers. Strong enthusiasm. Keeping character. And crowd. Good kick outs with Iveta spins. Good floor spin round of Iveta. Big boy doing well for dance strength but needed a tad more movement than confined to one spot. Work the floor on occasion.

CRH – Little bit disjointed for me. A crowd pleaser darling. Heavily due to character.

DB – Loved energy. Always take charge and fab performance.

LG – In the darkest clouds a ray of sunshine appears. A party dance, meant to be fun and entertaining. You make me feel good.

BT – Wasn’t a Salsa. But it was fun to watch.

4, 6, 7, 5 (5)

Sophie and Brendan

Charleston

Rock it for me – Chick Webb and Orchestra feat. Ella Fitzgerald

brendan sophie

Good start for Soph. Waxtor came to life. Arms, bounce, kicks sharp. Good somersault off Brendan backwards. Good mirroring of partner in front and behind. When you really try as a professional you can really focus without your attitude clouding routine, Brendan. Dance suits Sophie.

DB – Brilliant choreography Brendan.

LG – Great routine, beautifully danced.

BT – Stylistically perfect.

CRH – Brendan, you were rubbish. Sophie that was fit darling.

9, 9, 9, 9 (7)

Ben and Kristina

Waltz

What the world needs now – Dionne Warwick

Strictly Come Dancing

Strolls up heavily. Shaky steps on spin round collecting Kristina. Wait for second on floor before moving. Lost. Daydreaming not great for routine. Very slow and careful footing. Clueless again. Only hunk attitude may carry him along the competition. Only goes so far. No depth showing whatsoever.

LG – Look magnificent but you don’t move much. Lower through. Better than last week.

BT – Drive the music.

CRH – Rugby butt as delicious as it is, doesn’t protrude much. Inject more personality. Just smiling lit up then you looked terrified.

DB – Ballaclase did work. Little more connection between you.

6, 6, 7, 6 (4)

Abbey and Aljaz

Cha Cha

Let’s Get Loud – Jennifer Lopez

abbey alijaz

Strong musicality. Strong sways from Aljaz. Abbey slightly lagging behind. Morphed into a wooden Barbie doll. Good leg splits in middle downward. Extremely lost on spin, more a turn around.

BT – Plenty to fancy about Miss. Clancy. You do look fab, natural instinct for the dance. Careful with your freehand. Tiny little stumble at end?

CRH – Free arm very haphazard. Though whole thing very enjoyable.

DB – You can dance, just trust partner and relax when you come out of hold, do you lose that focus. Believe in yourself.

LG – Arms lose little bit of discipline. You’re a good dancer, Abbey.

7, 7, 8, 8 (6)

Ashley and Ola

American Smooth

Beyond the Sea – Bobby Darin

ashley ola 2

After the revelations of hunky new daddy for the second time audience DILF Ashley begins.

Very good spin around in hold collection before gliding crane jump off onto dancefloor. Good lift around of Ola (allowed) followed by second flat carousel on shoulders. Very commanding. Good sophistication in face. Arms good. End on back dip down lift atop arms.

CRH – Wrist is broken, so much content in there. Fantastic energy and lifts. Great showman.

DB – Whole thing incredible. One habit, dips. So impressive, you are gonna go far.

LG – You put the ooh in Smooth. Got the dry mouth. Each week be better than before, that’s what you’ve done.

BT – About showbiz Hollywood glamour. What American Smooth is all about.

7, 9, 8, 8 (8)

Danger Zone

At this point its pretty much anyone’s game with these few as weakest so far in terms of audience reception and favour. They are Tony, Patrick, Fiona, Julien, Mark and Rachel. However three who could face the voting pitfall are Tony, Julien and Patrick.

Online Votes

This year you can vote up to five times online so spread your votes out for a few of your faves. You have to open an account at BBC’s website though.

Strictly Bingo!

scd bingo 2 copy

You can visit us @FalseFabs on Twitter or copy the card here (above) and play along in our original take on False Fabs Strictly Bingo. Anyone else trying to copy and implement the same idea will just look completely irrelevant and lame and you know exactly where it came from. But do join in, play along and let us know how you get on if you wish! Here’s ours below!

Upon this the BBC have added a sweepstakes for you too. Not the same and allowed, however, seeing as SCD is their product, after all.

Copyright notice: In no way, shape or form are you allowed to pass off the card as your own.

Our card so far! Quite a few daubs.

Our card so far! Quite a few daubs.

Lifts

Salsa, Argentine Tango, American Smooth, Charleston and Freestyle, are dances that allow a lift.

iPlayer is NoPlayer

Fans headed home from all nighters and late night workers without an on demand catch up TV service were appalled and annoyed that the website on the BBC had not uploaded the full show. Even at 1am the show was not uploaded yet feature numerous clips of the evening already put on questioning bad management at the Beeb once again failing to give viewers what they pay for and desire. Rival show X Factor began running its near two hour borefest on national television again yet the BBC lacked any Strictly catch up service, which is exactly what iPlayer is meant to provide. Fans believe the BBC to be dysfunctional in its quality to consumer need, of which is funded by the licence fee of Public Service Broadcasting. The results show with the first vote off is tomorrow evening at 19.20pm on BBC One.

FalseFabs inquired after viewer complaints. The show was uploaded onto BBC iPlayer at 1.54am.

Results to follow…

IMAGES

BBC

Hello

X Factor UK 2012 Week 6: Best of British

X Factor UK 2012

Week 6: Best of British

Madonn-icole. Very British…

X Factor UK’s sixth week of live turbulent waters ran live on the Saturday November 10th broadcast with national TV station ITV1. How would the show, plunged into crisis dredge itself out of the sinking pool of pitiful plight and maintain audience still with it while attempting to re-engage those that switched off or joined rival shows with interest instead?

This week’s theme was the “Best of British” recognising British artists and ground-breaking music from such phenomenal artists before the reality show hopefuls.

Beginning the show first was “people’s choice” Christopher Maloney.

Christopher Maloney

I’m still standing – Elton John

Liver pud Maloney proved to remain standing as the Over 28 category’s last hope for a talented performer suffering judge’s personal agenda of abuse and de-humanisation on the highest scale with negative press and executive meandering behind the scenes to hinder the 32 year olds progress.

Maloney performed the 80s classic with grace, confidence and charm. Maloney, who has an enriched voice and is improving every week as a potential winner of the show took opportunity to belt out a competent rendition with mood of song, tone and presence.

Reports alleged show henchman Simon Cowell had ordered all judges two weeks ago to personally berate Maloney despite whether he put on a good show or not. Judges Tulisa Contostavlos and Louis Walsh instantly abided, seemingly, and launched attacks, with Walsh claiming Maloney was “Tony Christie” at best whilst smiling with bitter intent. Tulisa chose to attack indirectly by aiming to chose mentor Gary Barlow which was about Maloney, as an intermedium. Nicole Scherzinger, on the end of the table, didn’t fully comply with onslaught but cheekily slipped in defamatories with “cheese” performances to Christopher’s musical renditions. Scherzinger repeatedly mentions this comment every week.

This week Walsh’s sheepish grin mid performance was ready to deliver from puppet master Cowell once again. He agreed on a “good song choice” though added “Like Nicole said, you’re the Karaoke King.”

Tulisa chimed in on relevance. A double standard many agree, though Contostavlos mouthed her concerns, claiming his songs were “old” as Maloney responded the Elton John era of the eighties was one that put British music into a competitive edge in the market as we know it today which in hindsight, has paved the way for the future of the music industry today. Even juvenile Tulisa wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for this “genre.” She added she was “getting bored” of saying the same thing every week. Spare a thought for the audience who have stated they “cannot bear Tulisa’s childish comments” nor “childish political play” as well as “he inability to judge” resulting in 4+ million switching off TV screens. Many initially assumed rival show Strictly Come Dancing was to blame for the dip in ratings, yet proven not to be the case after X Factor, which airs directly after Strictly to avoid timing clashes had viewers actually choose to steer away from the X ship.

Mentor Gary Barlow added his act gave a “Percussive Elton John sound” mentioning Maloney’s progression, extensive range of glorious coats and congratulated for a pleasing performance.

Coats Amaze. Sign him up there at least.

Jahmene Douglas

Angels – Robbie Williams

 

Giggly Jahmene was the next contestant released into the arena. Beginning an acapella introduction to the lyrics whilst backed up using a gospel choir, felt rather cheap. Jahmene, who still hasn’t sang a full song through and only playing safe to carry to the final with poor levels of attention, cheapened the act and its song. Songs used to be about how amazing the music was and then how the singer made that talent shine through. Now, the songs take a back seat and witness Jahmene attempt to mildly dumb down a song to come across to audience as cute, timid and nervous. Usually many say these qualities don’t make stars from this show. Everyone seems to have forgotten this.

Repetitive Louis Walsh said “star in the making” yet again.

Contradictive Tulisa added “took an old school classic and do it in this day and age. This is how you do it” after panning Maloney’s “old” song earlier.

Gary added “heard the song hundreds of times, never heard it sung like that before. Key to your success is simplicity. It’s what you leave out, not what you put in.” We cannot agree with this entirely. Douglas, performed this song we have all heard numerous times, granted, though it wasn’t in the slightest part monumental.

Over – sexual Scherzinger after her flustered turns claimed Jahmene was “unstoppable.” So was Steve Brookstein, the first male X Factor winner, under Simon Cowell’s mentorship.

District3

If I saw you in Heaven – Eric Clapton

Three random boys lacking direction. Admitting they felt “lost” in competition with favourable rival group Union J and short of mentor Louis attention as a result, proved Walsh’s out of touch communication, as Walsh considering epic songs like The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Coldplay, all outstanding groups that could not be carried and shouldn’t be attempted yet, if at all, saw District3 add their own options relevant to them. Walsh didn’t understand any song choices they gave in today’s market, also asking “how does that go?”

The performance of the trio began with a piano tinkering. With a pitiful sound and tacky way to achieve votes by sitting there and remaining to do virtually nothing with a couple of notes. This group doesn’t transcend any star qualities of being a star. Ruined the high rise note. Was a carry me song. Nicole started crying, later revealing it had a personal meaning. Should a judge be personal and weak? Theatrics are one notion of running the show, viewers express.

X Factor cheering one direction with adverts and trying to encourage audience back with them on programming billed around them. The One Direction audience are not the ones who left, it was those against who you neglected and should be winning back. How redundant.

Very Boring, no sound of singing from them, just humming along…

Youthful Tulisa said they were “three lovely, good looking lads. Beautiful harmonies.”

Barlow however, assessed their market after the show, questioning whether a record producer would consider this to be a breakout future group. Barlow respond – “is it you? Something has not got the edge.”

Ella Henderson

Written in the Stars – Tinie Tempah feat.

Good sound. Safe. Timid. Boring. No personality has ever been shown of Ella. Six weeks in and she still has none.

Louis Walsh wittered with his constant killer line stating Ella was “the best female singer we’ve had since Leona Lewis” Alexandra Burke must be fuming…

Rylan Clark

Say You’ll Be There/ Who do you think you are?/ Wannabe/Spice Up Your Life – The Spice Girls

Indecisive Rylan, with yet another fusion of hits in one sitting, chose to dive out of aeroplane akin to James Bond and the Queen’s 2012 London Olympic entrance. It was the most dismal disaster to ever grace an X Factor screen. Pathetic. It was cloudy in the morning with bright blue skies. Clark was then wired down into the nightly studio. Taking on Spice Girls and a medley, public met with “how dare you ruin classics like that?” You will NEVER come back from that. Lost all respect from audience.

TC – everyone loved it except for grumpy spice. Then not everyone enjoyed it…

GB – Fun factor? – fantastic. Vocals diabolical.

NS – (climbing up the table)

Some members of the LGBT community have raised concerns and want it mentioned. Having connections with various groupings, they asked for yours truly to explain the over extensive charade on show.

Don’t h8 on Rylan, yet Rylan is causing every gay man to become stereotyped and suffer future and further abuse now as a result of his over flamboyance. The LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bi and Transgender) community are NOT a reflection of a Rylan as every gay man, nor woman in this over expressive nature and is not causing general everyday abuse to those who are not Rylan, whose idol happens to be glamour model and serial datist for media exposure Katie Price.

Union J

Coldplay – Fix You

Tough note to start. Way off. ‘Harmonies’ shaky. Judges know.

Barely singing. Safe, cheap, cheesy, boring, numb and no sound of vocal talent. Look highly disconnected as a group. Four random singers. Gospel choir out again to help guide them to a sound. All over the place and can’t be taught. End is nigh. On borrowed time. Taking on another classic artist shows complete disregard and miseducation from the boys. You don’t start by singing huge songs you can’t handle just because you ‘like’ these groups. Falling flat on your face is your result. It’s also an insult to the performers before you.

TC- on a role nailed it again. Tulisa has one girl “only need one” only worry battle of boybands. Literally on fire with another, will it spilt votes? Good job.

GB – sang really well , pithing problems in blending. Needs rehearsal. NS – recognising men and heroes of US?????? Jaime so much soul, there was NO soul in that. Sympathy votes.

James Arthur

Hometown Glory – Adele

Best of British yet Nicole has one everything with America all evening and yellow taxis on screen. Guitar and dubstep.

“Love a bit of dubstep” Tulisa responded, adding, “embrace an act like yet, talented credible” not before mentioning she was “just happy to be on panel.” If I say I’d be happy on the panel, will Mr.Cowell hire me in excess of hundreds of thousands of pounds?

GB – no one cover songs except for you. Work in progress, you’re ready now.

NS – Nicole leaned forward with a breast shake.

One Direction

 Some Pre-recorded song

One Direction’s pre-recorded performance, filmed a month ago when they were last on the X Factor was screened. It was a terrible choice to conduct for the show.

This weekend, the show spent money to advertise the week show because of One Direction being on it. Firstly they weren’t on it, and second, they were not the audience X Factor needed to regain as the One Direction fanbase, which the show is geared towards and cost ratings, have already been with the show. It is those they neglected to re-capture who have left, meaning X Factor completely embarrassed themselves with amounts of advertising on an audience already tuning in and not the one that left. What a mess.

Plus having the band shown on Saturday’s show ruined all the others on it. Talk about lost the plot. Seriously in crisis…

With Scherzinger an oversexual disgrace mounting tables turning fans literally off, and Tulisa’s childish behaviour mixed with Louis Walsh over stench of mediocrity and hypocritical abusive put downs to stars on stage and Barlow, the only truthful saving grace potentially leaving while he has dignity in tact has failed the audience once again from the top. They have no clue how to change for the better and re-encourage audience back. Everyone can be won back if you bother and use the correct strategy, which all involved have missed enforcing.

Last week we had intended to write a show review, though was busy. In the time after, Strictly Come Dancing was on BBC iPlayer, a catch up online TV service instantly. On the following Sunday, ITV had still failed to upload X Factor on its mirrored service ITV Player. It did not upload the show for the whole week. Absoluteness disgraceful. Worse, the X Factor USA show, shown AFTER the UK version was indeed available on Sunday.

If X Factor/ITV cannot be bothered than why should we stress ourselves for their blatant laziness whilst being paid bucket loads to provide a service? Utter Shambles. There is no excuse.