The Brit Awards 2013

The Brit Awards 2013

Image Credit : Brits.co.uk

You didn’t think you’d get away with this one did you? Below in every item presented can be a vital way of reforming the broken formula in any product, service or award ceremony. I am available should you need to hire a new force. You should consider it.

In previous years the Brit Awards have been filled with controversy. While the Brits are avoiding this and that is not a problem itself, though fans and critics are asking for trouble for fun, this show can be a success without disaster. From politicians, musical performance interruptions and expletives galore, and the infamous Ronny Wood challenge the awards have been a right laugh for controversy and interest.

Many are panning this Wednesday, 20th Feb’s Brits as “bland.” I disagree. They weren’t bland. They were dire! Non-descript, empty and botched out, winners were unknown, undeserving or just plain randoms. One saving grace from the Brits has been the musical performances. A couple of years back the Brits reformed stating the performances were the focus (ludicrous to make your awards second place) but the sets were going to be amazing. There have been numerous sets in past years that were outstanding, unique and concert worthy. The mash up’s of 2009, including The Ting Tings and Estelle were further highlight even when the ‘big names’ finished or came later.

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The host has always been an imperative role. For the third, yes, third year running, lovely, bouncy, housewives favourite comedian James Corden was host of the show. This was one of its many problems. The assumption that everyone loves James Corden is an idiotic notion that the ceremony producers convince themselves in order to make them seem they know what is good for the show. Their stubborn attitude cost them dearly. Corden scrapped through three years ago with a bearable presentation. He should not have returned for a second series but with this Gavin and Stacey TV show ending and assumed to be the nation’s biggest favourite show, the Brits pounced. It was OK as a show, but wasn’t to the scale of heightened appreciation. The only way the Brits could possibly have this would be to parachute in Ricky Gervais. Golden Globes anyone? Although, now one has mentioned it, the Brits should be gracious to offer me a role producing, strategizing or in the audience typing my ivory keys on my keyboard. J I can get you what you need, but don’t go abusing it. The Brits is in need of serious revamps and PR.

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I am a lover and supporter of the Arts and have immense time for it and others should get more involved for our culture and in-depth growth as human beings. This aside, Damien Hirst is a great artist whom I respect. However, those ‘Awards’ with a white statue and polka dot mess all over it looks more reminiscent of a Yazoo milk bottle. They are ugly. Awards should never be such and are an ‘Award’ meaning high levels of prestige and to acquire such a rare and exceptional feat of talent recognition is vital in the gong. I would be embarrassed if I won that and quite possibly refuse it! Marlon Brando eat your heart you!

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OK, enough gabbing on the poor show structure, what of the awards themselves?

British Male Solo Artist – Ben Howard

British Breakthrough Act – Ben Howard

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British Female Solo Artist – Emeli Sande

British Group – Mumford & Sons

International Male Solo Artist – Frank Ocean

International Group – Black Keys

Live Act – Coldplay

British Single – Skyfall, Adele

British Producer – Paul Epworth

Critic’s Choice – Tom Odell

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Best Album – Our Version of events, Emeli Sande

Brits global success (International Sales of 2012) – One Direction

International Female Solo Artist – Lana Del Rey

Special Recognition – War Child

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He’s come in for a lot of stick. Perhaps not his fault, who knows, however, WHO is Ben Howard? I m extremely well rounded and into new, alternative, indie and all rising music with an ear to the ground, but even I am stumped by Ben Howard.

The Brits felt it should honour moody Olly Murs with a nomination after talking about being snubbed for his rather meek music. While Olly may be a lovable guy, his music is somewhat off. This is no popularity contest. Calvin Harris was also nominated, alongside Richard Hawley and Plan B. While I am in favour of none of the nominees, though obvious decision to win should be Plan B, if the Brits didn’t want obvious pandering to make a farce of the show, how about nominating credible candidates?

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Corden and the Brits were so obsessed with “patting themselves on the back” as Matthew Wright expressed on Friday morning’s The Wright Stuff, on Channel 5, Corden spoke to music insiders of the mainstream like record boss Simon Cowell, DJ Nick Grimshaw, singer Robbie Williams and others in terrible exchanges that were pointless, drab and did nothing for the show and all about ego. In contrast, those winners of the evening were not anywhere in the mainstream, apart from Cowell brainchild’s One Direction. Thanks for turning up, Si. I’m still awaiting a response, though never get one. You know what for. Obsessed with a tele camera, tanktop and media coverage, mogul Cowell uttered a few minimal words whilst chewing gum as he squawked.

An award ‘made’ for One Direction to encourage viewers to tune in was a practise that ate into any credibility the Brits hoped to have. ‘Hey, got an idea. Let’s nominate One D and we can get all the kids to watch.’ Have you forgotten that the demographics watching, past the watershed, no less are grown-ups, adults and matured teens? Sharon Osbourne’s epic fail attempting to make a penis joke about Harry Styles from a mother at sixty year old was unappealing. Mrs. O had also been previously involved in an online row with daughter Kelly’s fight with Lady Gaga earlier this year.

“So Macho! He’s gotta be…”

No gripes with Lana Del Rey, here! Deserved.

Adele won the best single for Skyfall. After last year’s doomed mistake, in which Adele responded with a deserved flipping of the bird for cutting her speech off, this year gave a humourous video message, in which she was rehearsing for the Oscars, as mentioned, and also stated she would keep it short. Producers said that it was preparing to “right that wrong” tonight for last year’s bungle. Cutting off Adele is like cutting off Meryl Streep at the Golden Globes or other Oscar people who have sheer prominence to the ceremony for their talent. You do not do so, so easily. If timing is an issue then you should have cu others of to allow space for people you know are coming up and need allocation.

Last year’s Brits flying faux pas!

The Brits were all over the place and have lost yearly viewers however this year’s crippling stumble has seen thousands turn their TV attention elsewhere. How can music media barons in charge of productions as big as this, and certain others previously addressed by FalseFabs, get it so wrong? Does it imply, which it does, that the producers are so out of touch with the changing and reality of the world that it goes on its statistics which actually tell you nothing about what is necessary to adhere to? Take a step back and get those needed on board instead of flaunting your own stylist principals which lack exactly that. The ceremony is non-existence, unworthy, and of no interest to be there. It’s simply become a waste of time. Change it, or scrap it! It can be saved, but those in charge may not know how to do so. Think!

X Factor UK 2012: Week 8 Results

X Factor UK 2012:

Week 8 Results

Alliance remains.

Group song

Viva La Vida  – Coldplay

James Arthur starts fair but still standard. Whining Rylan, Jah-diva-mene, Maloney getting into mood with good note. Jahmene walking on with mime of song seemingly uninterested. Lazy. Union J harmonies all over and off. Quiff guy bad, George incapable. The other one sings. Jahmene nothing words. Ooooohhhh moans of Uinon J, joined by Rylan and James, Union J add worse tone to it, to ruin. James attempts to save it, as song given is more his style. Funny that, huh?

Bruno Mars

Locked out of Heaven

Prince and the Revolution meets Blues Brothers in Motown era.

A dazzling jazzy blues number with a cool RnB tone. Energetic band, charismatic vocals and proof of a real singer without over doing it vocally. Less is more. Great dance moves too with a sway and stylistic swag on.

Tulisa is not singing as scheduled last week. X Factor could be sued for false advertising if there aren’t careful, though it felt Tulisa would be blown out of the water up alongside Rihanna or Bruno.

Asked who impressed, of the other acts as judges usually asked are to answer in an ‘unspoken word’ of knowing format, Louis Walsh entered a biased approach. “Union J improved” he blared at high volume. He added “Weird dancers of Fernando” in relation to Christopher Maloney’s performance in a pre-determined attack once more. Parrot puppet Tulisa added he favourite was James also stating “Fernando creepy” after claiming it “wasn’t her style” to cruelly defame and abuse someone personally. Gary Barlow gave a clear, consie answer “Rylan” as Nicole opted to select her own once more ”James Arthur was ***** Buddha or butter? Computer nor English language can compute.

Rihanna

Diamonds

Water raining, stream around, keeping Ri-Ri dry-dry. Beaming sun strobe lights and mist. A real artist on the stage.All are inferior. Funny how the judges disliked Chris Maloney’s performance, yet some similarities in staging were apparent. Yet all judges cheered for the RnB popster Rihanna, whose vocals infused with performance can hardly be challenged.

The Results

In “no particular order” the votes to reveal the first act saved and returning next week is – James, Christopher and Jahmene.

Union J Vs Rylan

Hacks sucking up to the show to gain popular press attention for their own egos saw once more the Antichrist of ‘journalism’ running amock of the profession as celebrity gossip gabber Dan Wooton believes Union J were better vocalists than Chris Maloney. Whether you like em or not, Maloney is certainly better than Union J and Rylan. Many other ‘downgraded’ forms of media are doing the same, proving all puppets and not an actual “journalist.” Hire a real one. I’m right here.

Come on, you odious hack! Union J are terrible. Shows how a random person built on fandom blagged his way into the ‘field’ and still has no journalistic intent nor charisma.

Rylan Clark

Wires – Athlete

Rylan works the stage and walks around whilst giving a sweet kiss to Gary. High notes terrible. Can’t reach them so has to breathily sing vocals. It was an improvement for Rylan in grounds of singing yet was credible of a Week 1 performance. He had slick hair.

Union J

Run – Snow Patrol

Sympathy song bearing the lines “do we have to go?” from the pupping cutie eyes.

The quiff guy singing all the time as lead is wrong choice. His look, the look of desperation and pity on his blank face is dreadful. The two bookends on the end Jaymi and the other one can actually carry the group if there was actual direction on this group, but they have Louis Walsh along for the ride, as well as being utterly clueless among themselves to figure out what to do. The guy in middle killing everything with his over indulgent, egotistical, assumptive bighead attitude acting as the “leader” of the group marring all progress possible. Learn to take a back seat or leave.

Nicole said it was “passionate and emotional” though opted to send home Union J.

Louis Walsh said of Rylan “fantastic guy, great fun, role model, performer. Amazing career” though felt in the sing off “the boys totally won” thus sending home Rylan. He said that quite quickly didn’t he?

Gary added “great sing off and last night” Union J were the “band everyone wants to sign” (hardly.) Rylan had “best vocal performance (and was his) best song choice.” Among the great fun and “none personal, in good fun” honest Barlow sent home Rylan.

Tulisa had the final vote. With no acts of her own, she spoke of the group, mentored by friend Louis Walsh. “Union J – four amazing lads on and off stage. Ryland you’ve entertained. Admire your strength while having to put up with what you’ve had to in this competition.” The noble Constostavlos decided her vote on “most potential to sell records. Pains me to say, act sending home is Rylan.”

Tulisa is fighting for her job, manages to praise non-bullying methods and managed to correctly say Rylan after speaking Ryland in the same sentences together.

Rylan officially called time on his X Factor stint. Upon leaving he had this to say of his time in the competition “Feels so right, had a massive seven weeks.” His highlight came at judges houses. Singing Emeli Sande’s hit Read All About It with all the finalists.

On sister show following the results, Nicole Sherzinger said it was “Not my style to put anyone else down in this competition as mentioned last week by Tulisa” in response to a caller on other contestants in the competition judges felt shouldn’t be there. This of course is the same Tulisa who has done so to Christopher Maloney at full force last week in her upset at controversial decision of Ella leaving to low votes and having her puppet string pulled by producers and Simon Cowell to purposely insult and victimise Maloney on stage, to which she complied. Sherzinger, who has constantly mentioned “cheese” to subtly attack Maloney and vamp it up towards the last few weeks as per Cowell’s request along with bitchy Louis Walsh, who attempted to insinuate and out Maloney’s sexual orientation on television in a derogatory manner broke their integrity foremost. Nicole said yes without saying yes.

Gagging his mate, Si.

One thing is certain. The judges have forgotten what their role on the show is, and the levels of abuse have driven countless viewers away as a result. If judges cannot do exactly that and use the show to bully based on their own preferences than being a professional, to which Gary Barlow has been, then the show is a false façade that needs to be highly investigated by regulators and bullying groups, as well as possibly fined and even removed from television altogether. Should we condone abusive programmes specifically designed to run a production to mentally abuse members of the public?

Childish Tulisa barked “No!” after a caller asked if Gary would complement Christopher if he was not his mentor. Everyone knew this was an inaccurate truth from the 24 year old girl on the panel. Tulisa did the exact, ‘pretend I didn’t hear you can you repeat the question’ moment to create bad tension with the public in a feeble attempt to manipulate their votes. She heard very clearly again.

Barlow added the “public already answered” when explaining they selected the people’s vote into the show.

Louis, who glanced down, and many already know anyway, the judges have the question written down, on their cue cards in front of them which Tulisa checked beforehand.

Tulisa then chose to laugh and point at Gary with Louis when his back was turned. Children on a panel, low voters, and low audience ratings. X Factor wonders why it is in such chaos? The fact they allowed that to go out, without a professional production is just shambolic.

Got a cupcake, somewhere, presumably.

Ella Henderson later called in as Tulisa did some promoting on TV. No Product Placement endorsement was acknowledged. Ella was aksed who she thought the competition was between. “Chris and James” she said, as Tulisa snubbed that comment with attitude. Ella soon retracted her speech when realising a frosty atmosphere from the studio production. She wasn’t supposed to say that name…

Tulisa and Ella continued they had “missed our girly chats. Cupcake.”

Tons of plugs were mentioned at Olly Murs with his new single last week reaching number one in the charts. Olly cannot fathom why he isn’t nominated for BRIT Awards’ Best Male for 2013. We’ll give you more detail later.

Until then, the show is further into chaos with its de-humanising and victimised bullying of one star, as Cowell is “desperate” for a male to win so he can have a new ‘Matt Cardle’  who has been sent to the realms of obscurity since a new record label had esteemed faith in him. He has, and remains the only male to remain strong with a career out of X Factor and stands tall among the charts.