Strictly Come Dancing 2014, The Final

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, The Final

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On Saturday Strictly ended its troublesome series with a winner. After stretching the finals to four couples instead of three in a daft choice, Mark Wright was finally booted off in fourth place after another pathetic performance.

Finishing up in third was Simon and Kristina, saved numerous times by BBC in-house favouritism like Mark.

Frankie and Kevin came second as the winners were announced as Caroline and Pasha.

Both were very deserving winners. Though some complained as Caroline was later revealed to have had professional dance training, as well as choreographed girl group star Frankie and pop star Simon from Blue fame.

Front-runner Jake Wood was voted off the week before after the producers made judges mark them down. Jake lost a dance off to hapless tool Mark Wright, saved by producers via the judges.

All the four stars are featured on Strictly’s upcoming tour, which many viewer believe was the reason for biased marking procedures throughout the series. The producers already planned the end before the show began and failed to count on the fact that the public are the ones who actually choose who makes it.

Whilst it still thrashed the weak rival X Factor, producers of the show with in-house favouritism, on air jabs and abuse and failed attempts to be creative have shone a dark light over the glitzy spectacular.

BBC need to pick their glittery socks up. What they fail to understand is that FalseFabs, who they also attacked throughout the show over honest and fair reporting, will decide their licence fee debate. While the media and politicians decide what to do, we will make the final case ofr or against. It’s up to them to figure out how to build new future relationships, not just run off to a newspaper for a brief defence. Same age old rookie mistakes. The future is coming, not the past. Juvinlie behaviour is not acceptable and currently, we don’t have a strong case to support it as we have done for numerous years. BBC ruined it themselves and still continues to assume they are better than the rest. What honestly is being ‘given back?’ We will have to see.  If Director General Tony Hall or new boss Rona Fairhead wants to have a chat about it do contact us from the details provided on this site.

Strictly used to be one of BBC’s best. Now it has become a tedious affair by a ridiculous team intent on being nasty and abusive to its audience. Shameful. Lots of sackings need to be made to fix this ailing show.

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 11: Results

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 11: Results

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The show opens with a stunning rain drenching spectacular with the pro dancers and a new ginger dancer. He looks very competent. Get him on the next series. Needs a bit of change for the better. That was world Latin champion Neil Jones, Claudia let’s us know.

Claudia and Tess are in their anorak-ed yellow raincoats as they inform us someone will leave and miss out on the semi-finals next week.

The results are in. The first couple making the semi-finals is, in no particular order,  – Mark and Karen!

Also back are – Caroline and Pasha.

The first couple to grace the dance off is – Pixie and Trent.

This is what happens when BBC bias takes over,the viewers wont be fooled forever and shocks happen thanks to the producers favourites. Fancy votes also ruin the new age X Factor show. Not too great, is it?  Bin the production and get me to sort it out Rona. The BBC is in trouble, dear. Why ruin your entire reputation over some four idiotic people with childish personal behaviour instead of professionalism? You have to lead this troubled organisation into a future, not a past.

One Republic

Counting Stars

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Everyone wants a piece of the greatest band of the year. World class performance form the band, despite being taped weeks back when they were on X Factor. This is minor, though, as One Republic always deliver quality. An amazing year for them.

Len’s Lens

Pixie’s inconsistency was viewed by Len. Darcey spoke about Mark coming in and out of hold lying about the cleanliness of transitions, which were terrible. Craig spoke of Simon’s hand grooving. Bruno talked about Jake and Janette with their amazing routine of personality.

It’s back to Tess for the remaining results. In no particular order, returning next week is – Frankie and Kevin.

The second couple in the bottom two are Simon and Kristina leaving Jake and Janette to pass through to the semi-finals next week.

The dance off

 

Simon and Kristina

American Smooth

Heartache Tonight – Michael Buble

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Simon’s start with finger clicking was slow getting to the floor. In hold much more swift and clean. Good synchronicity this time than original but still very slow and pale. Lacking real punch. Smoother lift ending second time around. Good effort and fought for place.

 

Pixie and Trent

Cha Cha

Love Shack – B52’s

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Stronger personality with Trent this time around, but should have been shown first time around. Good twirls but more like a pretty Barbie doll and slow steps into hold. Great partnership as always but reaching peak perhaps?

 

The Judges Vote

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If it’s a draw, leading judge Len will save them with the casting vote.

Craig – Tough choice. Save, Pixie and Trent.

Darcey – I wish I wasn’t having to choose between these two. Simon and Kristina.

Bruno – Really good seeing you both again. For me, overall dance ability, Pixie and Trent.

Len – Have to judge this on this one dance. Hard as a judge, harder as a person. Right result for me, my winners were, Simon and Kristina.

Third time lucky! Simon and Kristina both collapse on the floor.

 

That’s your Lott!

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Pixie said of her dancing experience.

 I was absolutely loving it. Couldn’t have asked for a better partner. Amazing.

Partner Trent, whose debut year reached the Quarter-Finals added of Pixie,

Super talented. Hard working. Genuine. Had such a fantastic time. Wish her all the very best.

 

While they didn’t push harder and really go for it, both Pixie and Trent had an amazing run and strong partnership. Trent proved to be an outstanding professional this series, despite being a stand in for injured Robin Windsor. He’s done enough to come back next year. Cool job.

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Goldderby

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 11: Quarter Finals

Strictly Come Dancing 2014,

Week 11: Quarter Finals

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It’s the Quarter Finals! About time. Feels like forever with this over-marking rubbish. Back are the hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman. Joining them are the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our frank, professional and honest score is in brackets as well.

Simon and Kristina

American Smooth

Heartache Tonight – Michael Buble

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Simon tries hard but it was too cheesy. Watered-down, limp and double-step counts as a lift. Was very awkward. Made up little with good lift spin of Kristina face forward spiral held by both hands.

8, 9, 9, 9 (8)

Caroline and Pasha

Argentine Tango

La Cumparsita

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Caroline got some fresh tips from a friend who knows everything about ballroom dancing. Some bloke called Olly Murs, who always criticises X Factor for making him the toll he is today. Though he doesn’t mind going on it to try and flog a single at every call. Muppet. Tonight he’s on Strictly. Muppet.

Caroline started with a good few lifts and kicks helped with Pasha. Looking very controlled and classy. Sophisticated movement around the floor with good interactions and partnership with Pasha. Nearly flawless. Almost. Still good enough, with feeling and skill.

9, 10, 10, 10 (10) (Our second, and first for Caroline!)

Pixie and Trent

Cha Cha

Love Shack – B52’s

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Pixie turned around with her pink thrills to get Trent in the groove. Dancing around some weird 1970’s groovy coloured cushions and living room sofa’s the pair moved very well together. Occasionally walking into Trent generally from Pixie was weak. Too simple and easy made it very lame and lacking. Skill there but personality flawed. Was again a tad boring. Seriously. Let yourself go.

Craig – Spectacular but little stiff.

Darcey – Zest, energy, came alive. Was an inconsistency with leg action. Awkward.

Len – I’ve been a little bit lenient with lifts early this season. If I see any next week, I’ll penalise you. You did three. (Well do it now, then. You’re a judge!)

9, 9, 8, 9 (7)

Mark and Karen

Foxtrot

L-O-V-E – Nat King Cole

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Gormless gobshite Mark Wright (Oh, that rhymes) played the sympathy card for audience votes. Flashing his teeth and jumping up with a lift waited for Karen to join him in hold. Standing on spot and waiting for Karen to move arms down. Stands and holds arms out on spot again. Tacky footwork. Moving around like a stick ultra-stiff. Circles around same area couple of times lost. Bad arm extensions and sad clapping moments. Ends on the letter seat. All teeth and no substance. Not barely any dancing in many places.

Darcey – Oh Yeah. (To Tess asking if she felt the love.) Liked that very much.

Bruno – You charmer you. Never been smoother. Well done mate. (Just ask him for a fuck and get over it! Biased crap.)

8, 9, 9, 9 (7)

Jake and Janette

Charleston

Entry of the Gladiators – Ken Griffin’s Circus Band

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Off to the circus. Janette makes way to the floor with a classy cartwheel. Jake takes control and leads his lady. Good hop along and captivating lift upside down Ferris wheeling. Proving ability to dance in singular moments. Controlled movement, strong power and entertaining fun. Always intriguing to watch which no other dancer has. Such personality with skill.

Len – Circus of delight.

Craig – Impressive character. Strong, quirky. I don’t know where it comes from.

Darcey – So in sync. Such imaginative lifts. Energy throughout.

9, 9, 10, 10 (10) (Our second for Jake!)

Frankie and Kevin

Salsa

Work – Kelly Rowland (Freemasons edit)

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Frankie starts grinding a iron rod for no reason and gets to the floor to shimmy then run into Kevin. Very weak. Does moment for cheap reaction from crowd. Sloppy hand grooves like washing the car windows. Awkward lift over. Clear to see pressure taking over by trying to push harder, which we appreciate. Very statuesque of leg hand widening jumps. Good end on pointed down to toes lift. Okay, but still lacking real thrust.

Bruno – You really have the tools of the trade. Plenty of bookings coming your way!

Craig – Little bit haphazard, lost fluidity. Incredible dancer.

Darcey – Packed full of moves. Didn’t look as comfortable, but fast, fun disco Salsa.

Len – Little bit rough around the edges.

8, 9, 8, 9 (8)

Waltz Marathon

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The ‘Waltz-athon’ is up now. This will rank every couple from 1-6 and points allocated. It could change all the scores. Here we go. Will Pixie and Frankie make it big? All are on the floor together and the judges will choose whose in and whose out.

Pixie , Caroline and Jake begin with personality as the other three stand around for most of it before getting going. Lots of control from Jake and Caroline. Mark simply standing in the middle as Karen dips down. Frankie doing okay. Simon lost in mix.

Oh, so they are not eliminated whilst on the floor. How daft. Make it up as you go along with the producers in the ear. SAVE PIXIE do they say?

In sixth place is Jake and Janette. Producers love marking him down.

Fifth is Mark and Karen. Fourth is Caroline and Pasha. Third is Simon and Kristina. Second is Frankie and Kevin. Winners are Pixie and Trent. It couldn’t be more fixed if it tried.

Should have been Mark and Karen, Frankie and Kevin, Simon and Kristina, Jake and Janette, Caroline and Pasha, Pixie and Trent. Ever trustworthy is the BBC. Do you not even care about your already perverted reputation?

If you can’t fix it, get someone who can. 🙂

Come on Rona, sort it out.

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 10: Around the World

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 10: Around the World

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This week’s Strictly special is an around the world theme. ?! Back are the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our score is also in brackets, giving clarity than stupid overmarking. Hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman are back to present.

What is with the extras?! Strictly have added four extra dancers on the floor with every dance couple. Why? If you wanted them then why didn’t you hire them to begin with. They take away from the couple and the show as a two people dance. Idiotic.

 

Pixie and Trent

Viennese Waltz

Tulips from Amsterdam – Max Bygraves

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Our first destination is The Netherlands. Dancing around windmills with clogs and long white robes, Pixie and Trent set us off to travel. Trent dances in arms with the other male dancing extras and follows twirling Pixie, handing out Tulips. This took away from the dance. In hold was decent with good rotations. Footwork clean but tad awkward at times minorly. Smooth gliding along. Too much of Pixie on own, breaking what a Viennese Waltz is, surely? Spins Trent to the floor instead of Pixie who is supposed to be on the floor. Might be different, but did not work as bet intended. Stupid. Pixie still playing very safe and not going the distance.

The judges’ comments are not being looked at this week, because they are still talking a load of biased rubbish.

9, 9, 10, 10 (8)

 

 

 

Mark and Karen

Salsa

Viva Las Vegas – Elvis Presley

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Time to fill the slots. Mark jumps off the judges stage and instantly turns around wiggling his bum. Stands with hands on hips as Karen is turned around. Weak arm moves as a female extra suggestively rips open Mark’s shirt from behind. If all else fails get out your tits aye BBC? Mark then gyrates on the floor in his knees to Karen. No enthusiasm or energy in hand shakes. Tired and lost in turns on floor when lifting Karen. All teeth and no substance. Limp and lacking.

Bruno up talked Mark’s “pelvic thrusts” in yet another perversion critique.

Interesting how all the BBC rely on is Mark’s body, yet for a ‘hunk’ he has no definition and his body is average. Like two aspirin on an ironing board. The BBC’s attitude to sex is second to none, it would seem.

7, 8, 9, 8 (7)

 

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Rumba

Girl from Ipanema – Michael Bolton

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Off to Brazil now. Sunetra romances two extra male dancers as Brendan stands behind. This was stupid. Sunetra then joins Brendan and slowly moves around him as Brendan steers her into the other guys. Back with Brendan Sunetra let’s herself go a tad with a sultry back glide down. Decent movement around floor with arms and slow sexy walk. End with Brendan watching from afar. Good try from Sunetra but still holding back and way too timid. Needs to really let go and forget who is watching and just go for it. Lose the inhibitions.

5, 7, 8, 7 (7)

 

 

 

Caroline and Pasha

Charleston

Istanbul – They Might Be Giants

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Caroline begins on spot very well with legs and arms though bit too long. Pasha then joins behind steading her. Good flip over lift with kick outs above shoulders. Good leg in/outs with timing. Pasha flung down into a rowing boat of the extra dancers for no reason. Ends with Caroline lifted above all extras and then crowd surfed back to Pasha flipping over to end on amazing spectacle of lift. Still lacking full oomph though.

9, 10, 10, 10 (9)

 

 

Simon and Kristina

Waltz

Edelweiss – The Sound of Music OST

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In Austria now. Tender start to the floor. Smooth steps in starting whirl around. Good footwork. Good interaction between two. Finally went outside of box ticking and made a near perfect dance. Very good show tonight. Only frustration is people like him only do this at the most crucial stage of the competition where they may be eliminated so close to the top.

9, 10, 10, 9 (9)

 

 

 

Frankie and Kevin

Jive

Surfin’ USA – The Beach Boys

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Lowered onto the floor from a surfboard Hawaiian shirt Kevin show off his legs with Frankie. Strong but slightly cluttered leg arounds in fast pace a struggle for Frankie to keep up. Good feel, but still little limp. Frankie has the look and the legs, but again holding back as all a little too sweet than pushing with full oomph. Taking it very easy. Got the kicks and flicks ticked off.

9, 9, 9, 9 (9)

 

 

 

 

Jake and Janette

Argentine Tango

Zorba the Greek

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Greek Taverna plate smashing now. Jake starts mood with good clap solo with strong footwork. Good dip down of Janette. Set theme instantly. Good lifts and elevation on Janette above knees. Excellent flip over between legs in hold. Strong gauchos. Extras join. Accidental bump into extras. Finishes strong with plate smash. Proof extra dancers should not have been there.

Craig commented on the dance clashes. It was only one. Not that we excuse it either.

5, 8, 8, 8 (8) (Wasn’t that low.)

 

The vote is now crucial as the six couples will go to next week’s quarter finals.

 

The BBC don’t seem to respond well to criticism. Taking pot shots and bitter jibes were simply pathetic. The BBC allow it to happen. The BBC should stop being pety. It’s not like any of us have allowed systemic abuse to allow sexual predators including a paedophile to abuse thousands of people from their BBC dressing room, is it? Be mature. The best way to silence a critic is to appeal to them not pic on them with sad jibes that mean nothing. It continues to prove the BBC is full of abuse. They need to sack Louise Rainbow and her bullying team that encourage such behaviour, especially on a family show. Oh, and if you would like to take pot shots, missy, here’s one for you. How many failed programmes are attached to your name? One and Only, The Farm and others that have all been cancelled, especially not even getting a second series, if you would like to spout vitriol. How very professional of you. A complete failure at all reality TV programming. Good job!

 

 

Best dance of the night?

Simon and Kristina

Danger zone?

Sunetra, Jake and Frankie

 

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 9

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 9

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Back from a brief absence is the loud cheering return of Claudia Winkleman and Tess Daly. As ever the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussel, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our score is in brackets to mark accordingly amid the mass over marking delusion from the outdated judges bias.

 

Steve and Ola

Jive

Little Bitty Pretty One – Frankie Lymon and The Teenagers

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American football mad jawline lover Steve bursts through a paper like a teacloth to get on the floor. Boring, slow and empty steps. Ola joins to raise momentum by one pace. Awkward spin arounds in hold bobbing along. Pansy movements and limp choreography. Lame and boring.

The judges are talking so much tosh so forget their irrelevant comments for now.

4 7 6 6 (4)

 

Tess – “A four from Craig?!!” Tess, stop this trolloping. Everyone told you before, it doesn’t work dear.

 

Caroline and Pasha

American Smooth

Mack the Knife – Bobby Darin

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Good lift off stairs to floor setting mood. Good lone and together parts. Looking effortless. Sturdy and noticeable moment with footwork easily forgotten. Good centre platform use. Stunning lifts, elegant style. Smooth transitions. Mistake covered up as a pro.

7, 8, 9, 9 (9)

 

Pixie and Trent

Charleston

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend – Marilyn Monroe

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Good start but quite safe still. Arms little flimsy and cheap. Good push through on legs. Cartwheel done well but boring and slow. Good aeroplane hands. Not really a Charleston effect. Bit of jazzy theme but not much razzledazzle. Same as Simon now. Very safe and taking no risks. Could be out at this rate. Got to take a risk.

9, 9, 9, 10 (8)

 

 

Mark and Karen

Tango

Love Runs Out – One Republic

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Karen opens her arms as Mark comes up behind and turns her around with one moment moves and no effect. Slow boring move backs with no sharpness. Kicks tepid and pifty. Standing still to music. Dips Karen an inch to get a step ticked off. On the spot dancing with no sharp effect. Horrible. Doesn’t even bother trying. Lame finish on the spot lowering hands down to Karen, who falls down in routine. All teeth and no substance. What a charming pair.

(Darcey and Bruno babble on with their over-sexual lust.)

8, 8, 8, 8 (6)

 

 

 

Frankie and Kevin

Viennese Waltz

What’s new Pussycat? – Tom Jones

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Frankie starts wafting skirt before being lifted off bench. Lots of arm waving about for no real effect . Too repetitive. Too long getting in spins around floor. Boring and tacky music. Kevin doing all work. Barely any skill on show. Good spin around but only real highlight. Ending meant nothing. Not much dancing at all.

9, 9, 10, 10 (8) (Attempts to save her from an otherwise obvious vote from the public to dance off.)

 

 

Jake and Janette

Samba

Los Del Rio – Macarena

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Great swivel down slant start. Instant rhythm and groove. Smooth hips and strong sass. Great leg extensions and backside jiggles. Fun filled and technically sound. Great musicaility. Got real dance skill. Needs high votes. Best so far. Fantastic.

9, 10, 10, 9 (10) (Our first!)

 

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Waltz

Last Request – Paolo Nutini

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Sunetra waits for Brendan to join her in embrace. Smooth and graceful turns instantly. Controlled shoulder tilts. Very good footing. Beautiful elements of grace. Too hard a fling from Brendan nearly took her footing off. Warm and magical. Best of Sunetra yet.

7, 7, 8, 8 (8)

 

Simon and Kristina

Salsa

Let’s hear it for the boy! – Deniece Williams

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Kristina loves her magazine as Simon awkwardly enters the floor back hopping in. Decent lift but all too rushed and clumsy routine in dance. Simon gets solo moment to dance. Too many spins, not enough partner connectivity to create meaning and very haphazard trying to throw everything in missing the whole point. As much as he tries he just hasn’t got it. Pretty boy has reached limit.

9, 9, 9, 9 (7)

 

 

Best dance of the night?

Jake and Janette

 

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Steve, Sunetra and Frankie

 

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 8: Blackpool

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 8: Blackpool

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This week’s dancing special comes from the ‘Las Vegas of the North’ Blackpool. Back are hosts Tess Daly and Zoe Ball, standing in while Claudia Winkleman spends time with her family since an incident over Halloween.

Scoring again are Craig Revel-Horwood, the over scoring extras Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our scores is given in brackets with honest and real scoring advice among the lunacy of in-house favouritism/bias ruining the show.

After a magical start with Iveta and the rest of the dancers, the BBC centered a child singing fr the group performance. Allowing every little girls dream to be crushed proves insensitive given the BBC’s paedophilic sex scandal led by Sir Jimmy Savile. The BBC’s arrogance to be humble is ever disgraceful, despite the carefully constructed group number to seem genuine.

Iveta’s magical rising dress overlooking the floor was however a beautiful boost to start the show in Blackpool from the professionals.

Frankie and Kevin

Quickstep

A Town called Malice – The Jam

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To prepare Kevin proved genius and got Frankie down the arcade on the good old dance mat. 🙂

Kevin starts dancing with the wrong lady before choosing Frankie. A bit too long getting going but on floor worked well with bounce. Bit timid and still seeing Frankie hold back instead of really go for it. Seems more focused on smiling than stunning the floor. Needs to let it go to be serious contender. Good footwork but tad too empty in effect. Needs to connect further. Decent overall but not exceptional.

Len – Excited to watch that. That was fast. Light and bright as Blackpool illuminations. Your best dance.

Bruno – They flew across that dance floor. You did not put a foot wrong. You are the leader of the gang.

Craig – Used floor brilliantly. Did lose frame occasionally. Feet don’t always come together when they should. Bright. You are a fantastic dancer.

Darcey – Controlled and calm. Fun.

8, 9, 10, 10 (Oh here we go…) (8)

 

Jake and Janette

American Smooth

Feelin’ Good – Hal Mooney

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Instant sharpness from Jake as Janette is led by her beau from the dinner table. Strong posture in hold around the floor in tune with the music. Amazing lift of Janette throw to the air caught by Jake. Proof of leadership from Jake smashing the atmosphere. Commanding Janette constantly. Great style, skill, grace and smooth footwork. Will need votes to stay in though.

Bruno – Bad ass and sassy. Be careful in turns and lifts. Back in the game big time. (He never left it.)

Craig – Some artistry in your hand. Herculean performers of an American Smooth. Brilliaint. You know the value of stillness.

Darcey – Stylish, sophisticated. Very classy. Back on top.

Len – You put the oooh in moody. Such a twist on what I was expecting. Jake, you’re back. (He never left, you cast him down due to production values of saving favourites who can’t dance.)

9, 9, 9, 9 (9)

 

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Samba

I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ – Scissor Sisters

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Sunetra enjoys a cocktail with the girls as Brendan shakes his groin and shimmys with the chicks. Sunetra eventually joins him. Over eager on turns. Good kicks and sass. Still little timid but good feeling attached. Tad watered down feeling though. Lots of errors. Should have more oomph less comedy shizz. Otherwise Sunetra may be out very soon. Needs a strong number.

Craig – Disconnected, loose, non specific. Felt you were struggling.

Darcey – Improvement. Vibrant, flamboyant. Plenty of energy in steps. Weakness in the footwork.

Len – Most energetic and most vibrant I’ve seen you in Latin dances. Go for it. Well done.

Bruno – I love the bouncing bunnies. Thank You for bringing the Playboy bunnies to Blackpool. Sexy.

Brendan – Shout out to all the production. (Ever a crawler, save my job please…)

6, 8, 8, 8 (7)

 

 

Simon and Kristina

Argentine Tango

El Tango de Roxanne – Moulin Rouge

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Start sharp and controlled single moment. Joins Kristina. Bit lost in crossover feet. Concentrating on doing all footwork ticking box mentality than a dance which always ruins his performance. Too awkward and stiff in trying to ‘do it’ than dance it. Doesn’t seem to learn. Minor moments in middle easy and lacking impact. End lift okay but all for show not technical. Good guy but doesn’t seem to be able to adapt to change.

Darcey – Wow! Worried you’d make it a showdance. Got better and better. Accuracy between leg action. I can’t shut up.

Len – Winner winner! Chicken dinner!

Bruno – Dark Lord. So masterful. Game of action. So predictable. Climax at the end spectacular.

Craig – In two minds. Little bit stiff in places. Need to be freer and looser. It’s just advice darling. I did love it.

8, 10, 10, 10 (Oh get real!) (8)

 

 

Judy and Anton

Viennese Waltz

Let’s Go Fly a Kite – Mary Poppins

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Both fly a kite into the floor. Ironically it leads them. Anton dances with an ice-cream as Judy wanders off. Back together the pair stand on the spot and do side to side arm sways. Stand and plank point arms for Judy now. Better just walking it instead. No effort, no attempt, all a joke. Judy then gets flown to the sky by balloons. Please let poetic justice prevail. Not a Viennese Waltz at all.

Len – Bit sticky in places. That is your best so far.

Bruno – It was actually recognisable as a Viennese Waltz. You did a dance!

Craig – All went horribly wrong. Posture appealing. In and out of lifts, you had a good fifteen seconds. Definitely your personal best.

Darcey – Softer lady. Anton got you turning. Still have to keep working on that top line.

4, 6, 7, 7 (2)

 

 

Mark and Karen

Charleston

We Speak No Americano – Yolanda Be Cool

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Mark says its “back to being cheeky Mark” Or dumbass bellend who doesn’t care, in translation. The pair are made for each other, all teeth and no substance Karen turned Mark into a magician. Mark claps his hands and turns the magic box holding Karen around, Standing on the spot dancing Mark does some paltry hand movements. Lame lift over back of Karen. Horrible arm crouch shoulder sways. Karen rolls herself into a floor grab flashing her knickers. She dips down on Mark’s chest to pout as he stands and holds. Mark walks along with head on Karen’s ass. Sad, empty and lonesome. All teeth and no substance, literally.

 

Bruno – Can’t believe how fr you’v come. Swift on your feet, comical. Fantastic. (Just ask him for a shag and get lost.)

Craig – I’m starting to fall in love, actually. Mark desperately kisses Craig for the gay vote. Love it, love it, love it. (Pathetic.)

Darcey – Light, sweet action. I love it.

Len – I’ll sum it up, everything these have said with knobs on. (Cock-a-hoop, then?)

9, 9, 9, 9 (7)

 

 

 

Pixie and Trent

Paso Doble

The Eve of War – Jeff Wayne

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Down from the sky comes Trent as Pixie lures him toward with cape wafting. Joined by two hunky Gladiators Trent takes hold of Pixie. Strong arm extensions and fierce attitude form Pixie. Good spins but missing extra whoosh. Good leg out arch around. Very good atmosphere and style. Could lose the nicey-nicey attitude in order to boost higher, but still smooth and strong.

Craig – Indomitable force in this competition. Full of skill, almost invincible on tht floor. Quite extraordinary.

Darcey – Some animal in you. Watch legs.

Len – That was, Trent great job in choreography. Loved it.

Bruno – PIXIE! The dominatrix! She had three to fight over, very greedy can I borrow one? (In reference to the male dancers.) Perfection. (Lunatic sex pest.)

9, 9, 10, 10 (9)

 

 

Steve and Ola

American Smooth

Rolling in the Deep – Adele

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Steve stands in center waiting for Ola to charge in. Lift early on with no feeling. Air capes fill the floor detracting from dance. Steve walks along with arm horizontal and tepid. Awkward and awful move around floor with Ola. Lift spins around. Spins on floor. Flips Ola onto shoulders for finish. Empty and sad. Nothing dance.

Darcey – Really kept your cool. Well done.

Len – Showed your gentler side. Lifts right in character with flow of dance. Like a small man at the urinal, got to get up on your toes. (Disgusting pervsions from old man on BBC, no change then.)

Bruno – So much impotence. Control strength and energy. Well done.

Craig – Len’s analogy little to be desired. Cool, calm, collected. Obviously in touch with your feminine side. Lacked little flair. Beautiful routine.

7, 8, 8, 8 (6)

 

 

 

 

Caroline and Pasha

Jive

Crocodile Rock – Elton John

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Caroline dances in Union Jack dress in front of immovable guard Pasha. Pasha breaks code and dances with groovy Caz. Great kicks and flicks. Good arm extensions. Bit of character. Bit slow for a Jive. No-one can beat Jill Halfpenny and Darren Bennett. Caroline nicks Pasha furry muff hat. Okay but not amazing.

Len – Jive’s about kicks and flicks. Class, fast and built to last.

Bruno – Yes! Caroline flies the flag for Strictly! Rule Britannia, thank you Blackpool. (Shut up you loon.)

Craig – Absolute fire.

Darcey – Fast springy girl is back. Perfect for a Jive.

9, 9, 9, 10 (There’s always one.) (9)

 

 

Best dance of the night?

Pixie and Trent

 

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Jake, Sunetra and Judy

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Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 7 Results

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 7 Results

From the BBC, stolen by The Telegraph from here. Shameful.

In respect to the Women of WWI the professional’s led a washer woman ensemble with Iveta missing her charming Anton. The boys later joined the fro in a great joint dance routine.

Tess Daly and Zoe Ball relay the results once again. Zoe rejoins the show as Claudia Winkleman is away since her daughter suffered burns on a Halloween party night out earlier int he week. FalseFabs wishes them all the best with their recovery.

The results are in and only nine couples will make it to the dancers epicenter of epic proportions, Blackpool. Making it through, in no particular order are – Frankie and Kevin. Also through are – Sunetra and Brendan, Steve and Ola, Mark and Karen. The first to grace the danceoff is Alison and Aljaz.

Katherine Jenkins

We’ll Gather Lilacs

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Operatic sensation Katherine Jenkins sang a beautiful rendition of a 1940’s classic with grace and serenity.

Len’s Lens

Jake’s Rumba arms were under Len’s critique. Darcey explained the leg stand revolution from her first ten given to Pixie. Sunetra’s gaping was discussed by Craig who wanted them to be conjoined. Bruno’s lunatic animations were looked at, leaving Len ducking for cover from Bruno’s arm wafting.

News Flash. Tom and Jerry are getting Strictlyfied. They”ll help Children In Need as well by making a cartoon of the judges.

The rest of the results return now as the next couple are through. It’s Judy and Anton! Also though, in no particular order is Pixie and Trent, Simon and Kristina. The couple entering the dance off are Caroline and Pasha, leaving Jake and Janette to sail into next week.

The dance off

Caroline and Pasha

Waltz

Three Times a Lady – Lionel Richie

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Start part, as stated before looks more like a Rumba, however routine was smooth, graceful and floaty. Got that Gabby Logan knock tonight. Easy to see why she landed there though as didn’t seem too oomphy even in a slow dance.

Alison and Aljaz

Charleston

Never Had a Friend in Me – Robin Williams/Aladdin Theme

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Great cane to and fro-ing for the pair of Aces in the pack. Big girl Alison proves ability to go with rest of them but has landed in dance-off due to hunk voting and old-age faves instead making mockery of show. Great showbiz once again with sheer razzmatazz!

The Judges Vote

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Craig – Best dance in dance off. Caroline and Pasha.

Darcey – Caroline and Pasha.

Bruno – Caroline and Pasha.

Len – I did agree. Caroline and Pasha.

Hammed off

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Alison receives a standing ovation. Alison said of her time on the show.

Caroline smashed it. Want her to get to the final and win. I’m still coming to Blackpool. Had absolute ball. Don’t care what colour you are, what size. Absolutely rock it.

When I got ya from day one, I thought I’d won. Genuinely love you as a friend.

Partner Aljaz had an equally glowing endorsement of Partner Ali.

I’m extremely proud. I’m gonna miss you a lot.

Sir Bruce Forsyth will return on the special themed Children in Need show with Tess this Friday for charity.

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