X Factor UK 2013 Week 1

The X Factor has re-launched its series for another rough thirteen weeks for the coming year. Taking their places were the resident sponges Louis Walsh and Nicole ‘sh*tstinker’ Shezinger. Gary Barlow admitted his final series in order to tour with Take That next year. Original judge Sharon Osbourne has also returned for one year.

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This year the panel attempt to remove voting politics, ratings dips and boredom whilst presenting a mixed bag of musical ‘talent’ and entertainment. Tonight is an ‘80s night.’

First up was the new age Tina Turner, Hannah Barrett. Judges said she “killed it” with a performance of What’s Love Got To Do With It? Then came the baby face Nicholas McDonald. The teen Scot, selected by mentor Louis, desperate to win, was selected over two ‘fat’ guys with talent. McDonald is bookmakers SECOND favourite to win. Louis Walsh is his mentor. If there was an official poster for over-sexualisation of X Factor, this would contribute. He’s way out of his depth. The sixteen year old sang Spandau Ballet. He was talking through most of the song.

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Leona Lewis, Misha B and Alexandra Burke thrown together at the last minute.

Up next were the first group, Miss Dynamix, who fans said look “exactly the same” and wore a fusion of bright coloured dresses. There really was no colour coming through from the girls and are instantly forgettable. Their performance was weak.

Prison officer Sam Bailey gave decent tone and a strong ballad for the first week. This one has Nikki vibes all over her. Nikki got to the final four before voted out for having strategic comedian Walsh as her mentor years ago. Barlow said she had a “gorgeous vibrato.” Sounded to many like fabroato.  No words of interest Nicole spoke “I am speechless right now.” Louis said “Love the makeover.”

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Backstage, promiscuous Caroline Flack has now created a ‘green room’ come holding bay where she exclusive stuffs a microphone into contestant faces and asks their thoughts before a controller storms in to say they need to go to the stage now. Not pointless at all.

Sweetie Sam Callaghan sang Summer of 69. How original of Louis. Sam’s introduction on the musical talent show was mentioning he is single. What has being single got to do with this singing show? Callaghan gave a dreadful performance and was off pitch everywhere. No real star buzz. Girl’s might cheer, but what have you actually got to offer? Is the only aspiration of the show to get a girlfriend/boyfriend? Goodness… Go home with Louis. Calamity Sharon said – “You’ve got the whole package for me. Got *something*(inaudible) ability factor” she adds.

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Crazy silly females in the show continue making a mob mockery of X Factor. But, what are you expecting when you once again over-sexualise children? Barlow and Scherzinger stated with was not the best of vocals. Mentor Louis responded “Guys, nobody works harder. You’re an absolute dream to mentor. You’re like a little Bryan Adams.”

Following that where an all new boyband. The Wham rejects styled as One Direction where called Kingsland Road. They all looked exactly like each other. They sang the classic, If you’re gonna do it right. What irony. Barlow was accused of being a sell-out. The harmonies were off, they went and touched some girls in the audience frothing at the mouth and weren’t memorable in musical dynamics. Nicole complimented them on their hair. Louis said “I know you’re working really hard behind the scenes. If you’re having a good time you’ll go far.” Drunkard Shaz took the killer line “You look like Leonardo Di Caprio” she said to a Rhydian lookalike. It was from this moment on everyone knew Sharon was sozzled on the job.

Generic Studs.

Generic Studs

Mrs.O’s fun act was due next. Shelley Smith gave a performance of Heart’s Alone. Fans were unimpressed. The hydrallic lift of musical theatre made a laughing stock of Osbourne, Cowell, X Factor and Smith. Barlow attacked her for not conforming to a notion every other act seemed to incorporate in their acts “a modern twist on 80s night. You were stuck in 80s. Need to modernise your voice.” This is the same guy who had Chris Maloney, an ungrateful fame seeker using everyone he can. Louis said “You gave it wellie. That’s what it’s all about.”

Pin Prick. Judge Walsh.

Pin Prick. Judge Walsh.

Young, flower power crowned Abi Alton sang a contemporary Bon Jovi classic. One you just don’t mess with, because if you get such a legend wrong, the audience are unforgiving. Alton lost many fans as their favourite. She was accused of being whiny with her acoustic set up. It was beyond contemporary standards to viewers. Louis said “Didn’t hear a pin drop.”

“You could have heard a pin drop” SNAP! Barlow and Walsh utter the same script.

More over-sexualisation now. Lorna Simpson was completely thrown by the buff bodied hunks she would have dancing with her. “Oh my god, naked bodies?” she mentioned. They weren’t exactly naked, only semi. Sings well, but crap and leching all over bodies.

Sexy bodies

Sexy bodies

X Factor needed to get its script in order and scheduled a commercial break before giving the comments. You got 4 minutes, GO! Gary and Nicole set the comments roll adding “pitch was all over the place” as Nicole followed saying “I agree with Gary.” Thrill seeker Louis said “I loved it. (I) remember watching Top Of The Pops in the 80s.” Sozzled Shaz added “You were a bit, like, unsure. It all took off.”

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The X Factor producers and Simon Cowell’s “favourite” to win, who underwent a radical makeover to shake off her criminal past churned out the sexed up Tamera. Taking on a classic by R’n’B legend Chaka Khan’s Aint Nobody was a huge mistake but got through it decently with help from the auto tuning machine in the background. She span around. It was turned into a club groove watered down. Dance lover Walsh said “You’ve got all of the moves, a great look.” Drunkard Sharon baffled many with her comments once again, adding “Yes misses, you’re very exotic, you look exotic.” Tamera is black. The subordination of black females among over sexualisation continues to grow in X Factor’s favour.

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Over-sexualised Tamera. “She looks just like Rihanna”

Audience fears over Luke Friend’s dreadlocked hair were on offer now. He combed it back and had a little bit sheared off. He looked like action hero Predator instead. He sang a song by Sting. It was a weak song filled with shouting vocals. It was a rotten choice. Sozzled Shaz began the comments off with “Luuuuuuuuuuuu-oak! Performance value, bang on. Voice not greatest but you don’t need it with that face.” (Have we got an over-sexual counter in the corner? We may need one.) Housewives favourite Barlow compared themselves next. Your voice is an acquired taste. Load of mum’s out there who want to wash your hair.”  Handler Louis spoke “Loved your energy. I don’t care. I just want people to vote for ya!” Last year X Factor was investigated after Louis who avoided it before, continues to attempt to sway votes asking people to vote, which is profound.

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predator

Rough Copy went last. After their visa hiccups and X Factor stalling they began In the Air by Phil Collins. Hazy start on first line echoey. (Gary nods) Borrowed strobe lights from TV catchphrase gameshow it seems. Eddie Murphy from Living in America in the blue get up joined the band. It felt bland, empty and boring. Nothing really there. Nicole chimed in “You might be the best band I ever seen.” Louis said  “I love the staging, the image.” More than half cut Shaz muttered “The moment is here for you.”

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Now all acts have performed, a new terror was approaching. Cue the doomy music atmosphere. “Ahh, ah!” The flash vote is up next! (?) The flash vote allows you to vote for the next ten minutes to save your faves then the lowest poller will go through to the Sunday results show, tomorrow night, as one of the two sing off acts. They used the Queen “Flash” music. Disgraceful. After Dermot chats to the acts lined up for ten mins, we predictably go to the 100th break in a two hour show.

The votes were in. Saved were all the Girls and Groups. Then Louis’ boys were safe. Sharon Osbourne’s glorious X Factor return from the past was about to be dented. The act facing the sing off was Clare from steps, Shelley.

Phone lines re-opened to carry over votes for the second act to join Shelley the following evening.

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Shell Fell…

Results to follow…

Wise Owl Cowell

For X Factor’s triumphant return with drama, glitz, over-sexualisation of children, subordination of women and vamping up illustrious levels of sexual connotations, the show plummeted to all new lows of disaster levels. The excellent rehire of dated Sharon Osbourne, adding no style or interest whilst being drunk on the show is unforgivable, but pals won’t deal with Mrs.O’s unprofessional indulgence. The first show is often the most crucial to encourage viewers. Tons plan to snub the show that has become an utter disgrace in entertainment, making a mockery of the music industry and plucking young children from obscurity to please a judge’s ego based on area code. Give X Factor three to five years at best before it dies completely, even if it still clings on to a TV platform. Bosses are so desperate they believe X Factor god Simon Cowell will save it, and will take a £50m payoff to return in Barlow’s seat next year. A seat Cowell has been constantly jealous of. Snob Cowell chose to snub options that would help him and his TV show survive, and now, the show is teetering on concussion. Not long now.

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X Factor UK 2012 The Final: Part Two

X Factor UK 2012

The Final: Part Two

xf 12 nicole jahmene james final

X Factor finalists perform one last time. X Factor shunted Christopher Maloney from it’s stage and wasn’t in the show after they gave him one line to sing. Maloney, who won all shows until week eight of ten, came third in the final.

Union J started dismally. Carolynne Poole, bit off. Melanie Masson a cracker once again. Yeahhhhhhhhhh! Jade provided good musky tone. Ella produced sound but no one was shown. Kye Sones and two babes. District3 terrible. Union J again. Overkill. Ella warble. Rylan party theatrics in a sleigh and catastrophic sound with sparkly fur coat. No singing whatsoever. Backing singers strong. Other acts mime along, as does headbobbing Tulisa. District3 and Union J back again. Then girls and Rylan and Kye. Ella ending off. James and Jahmene enter and end with traditional scream.

Please no more.

Rio Ferdinand alert. Oh dear.

Songs of the series (which weren’t many) were going to be the starting premise for the show.

Jahmene Douglas

Angels – Robbie Williams

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Acapella with elevated box staging. All linger and easy talking through song. Rather timid performance once more. Still extremely fragile. Lingering yell once more, that distorts melodic composition. Still all over the place, hasn’t found placement of tone, and all a show off nothing song.

Louis said of Douglas “Jahmene you’re in the final. You’re a fantastic role model. You move me because you got so much soul. You’re an incredible role model. Please vote for Jahmene I want him to win.”

Tulisa supported with praise “Outtuve all the songs, I’m happy you chose that one. One of my fav’rots from you. Congardulations.”

 Gary think it’s been quite tough. Been in too comps battling with past and fighting for your future. Dignity and grace. Another stunning night for you.

Once again teary Nicole said of her baby “I gotta keep it together. You bring spirit and hope to this show I feel safe. Greatest love of all. Your my greatest role model. Like a beacon of light.”

Dermot asked Louis why he praised someone out of his category for once. Louis added once again “I want him to win.”

Dermot’s lame joke telling us we can keep Scherzinger from Barack Obama for Louis Walsh and cash was plain daft. Britain doesn’t want either kept.

James Arthur

Let’s Get It on – Marvin Gaye

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More of a dubstep bass theme ruined it instantly. His vocals was instantly too off from the style of aiming to be a grimy star, then shifting his sound back to his ‘self’ vocal that he has usually sang in over the weeks prior. Schmoozing Tulisa with a kiss making his way to the stage, take pauses in between seemingly lost and filling time with lack of confidence  Still needs to climb massive mountain in that respect. Ended with a bevvy of beauties surrounding him. Was bit simple and safe.

Louis – Ready-made artist. Original, honest. Nicole you’ve been best mentor ever in final.

Tulisa – “I know I’ve said it a million times over the live shows that you’re an artist, you take songs and make them your own. Feel like were at James Arthur concert. You take untouchable classics and make them your own. You are an artist James Arthur.”

Gary “You’ll go off and get developed. You don’t need that you’re ready. Ready to download your album right away.”

Nicole – “I’m humbled and feel so blessed to work with you.”

Dermy tells us of two competitions going on, and informs the public of the shady behaviour of the ego manic panel of judges aiming to secure a win over the course of the show, then highlighting Nicole’s two acts in final success. We then saw a clip of the journey from the “Mighty Mentors.”

No we are treated to the civil servant auditionee who clearly saw the future before us all. “It was that f***ing Tu-liss-ia” Give that man an OBE!

Louis got two lapdances from Robbie (Williams) and Lorna Bliss, the Britney double, remebered by c’est moi on BBC show The one and only.

Gary and Tulisa’s explosive nature to the minor comments. Nicole’s dictation of unscribeable words formed in her alien language.

X Factor chose to flaunt its dwindling reputation once more with Leona Lewis returning from the ghost archive, likeable loser Olly Murs, short of the top boyband JLS and the first winners as a group thanks to in house bullying lies Little Mix. Mini Cheryl Cole Cher Lloyd even featured. The winners Joe McElderry and Matt Cardle were invisible to all of mankind. They do NOT exist.

Here they come….

One Direction

Kiss You

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The spritely boys started with an Atari themed computer game. Zayn Malik’s start had an audio problem, his mic wasn’t on. Whoops! Again? But, but, sound came out of the stereo when his mic was off.

It was rather weak and lazy and the sound when going live for a portion of song was not continually working. Either that or they simply can’t sing. Miming galore, the boys then ran into the audience like maniacs. Liam check his earpiece and then they all rush back to the stage. Okay, then… Yo –yoing back and forth clueless and mic probs, it was then ‘Game Over.’ Goodness… That was tough.

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Hypocritical Prime Minister David Cameron gets in on the act, mentioning “Jahmazing” to spawner Nicole.

If it wasn’t bad enough, David Cameron got in on the act. Turning on the Crimbo lights with the kiddies around for the charity Together with short lives.

Chancellor won’t take the VAT off the single. Let’s all praise George and Dave.

Emeli Sande

Clowns

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A perfect piano position with pitch perfection sound. Sande looked a glamourous, gorgeous superstar among the violet lava lamp TV screen. It was a powerful, sweet and charismatic outing with mass star appeal. Sheer perfection.

The winner‘s singles performed, which were recorded months ago, are up next.

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The local soccer stars were in the arena as Manchester City and Manchester United squads were shown. Quizzed about Rylan and James, Rio Ferdinand and the other footie stars were thanked for being INVITED. They also chose to show up. Which one is with WAG Tulisa?

Jahmene Douglas

Let It Be

JAHMANE FINAL

That’s right, the outdated, slow classic that should not be given an overhaul would be Jahmene’s winner’s single if he wins tonight. Just when you thought the hysteria around the show couldn’t be any more stereotypical, cheap or tedious, X Factor pulls it right out of the bag. This is just one of many reasons viewers are fed up with.

Filled with a gospel choir backing him up and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeches of outburst to a musical composition of 88 keys and tender moments destroyed with overkill of yells and thumping bass in the wrong places with an intolerable sound was outlandish.

Repetitive Louis began “What more can I say? You’ve got so much soul, and passion. People at home I wanna change this guy’s life. I want him to win the X Factor, please vote!” Walsh yells in another attempt to rally votes.

Tulisa was pleased. “I am so happy you’re in final. Couldn’t be two better people in the final. Sang your little heart out. Deserve to be here.”

Gary said “Really simple actually. You have an unbelievable voice and talent. All you gotta do is sing the song and make people feel something.”

Nicole ended “Thank you so much for that honest beautiful performance most relaxed you’ve ever been. That was a jahmazing shamoment. You’re greatest blessing in this show for me.”

James Arthur

Impossible

JAMES ARTHUR IMPOSSIBLE

James sang without his guitar; however is playing guitar in his record. Absolutely laughable. In order to protect his image of constant guitar, it features highly in his performance. Terrible production. As for the sound, was a lot of bass and vocals felt off with the kick in, seeming lost at points. Still isn’t fully ready in the limelight. Needs careful handling. Though playing safe and easy won’t sell records. After a slow and vocal rendition, the shouting came at extreme volume, which destroyed the whole atmosphere of the song and its drive. Backing track with the guitar outdid Arthur on stage. Was all over the place.

Louis “you’re both winners with me.”

Mundane Tulisa spoke “I know you gunna understand what I say when I say this. From moment I saw you, I got you. I get you. We’re the same people. You know wot I mean? And you have been to the depths in life. The deep dark depths, you came back out and you came back out. You are an inspirer. People this is your last chance to pick up, and vote, for James, Arthur!”

Gary offered realism “You came to this competition as an artist. Proud on stage tonight. You know best.”

Cliché to the stars Nicole said “You’ve proven anything is possible. Hunny, your life is never gunna be the same after this.”

Arthur needs a lot of fine tweaking, the sort that X Factor chiefs wanted but couldn’t figure out how to do because it was biased in how to approach.

Rihanna

Stay/We Found Love feat. Calvin Harris

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She’s back. All of them were. Rihanna always has star appeal, however this was a rather meek outing per se. A ballad which was a tad cheap, easy and half hearted, still sang well, but didn’t fully enthuse people as it should have. It was all very ‘nice’ wasn’t it? Good for her. Her attire was classy and striking of a white laced Egyptian goddess. She then got the crowd going with her dance hit We Found Love.

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With just over thirty minutes left to crown the winner, we now hope Louis Walsh can figure out how to bring the vote to deadlock again.

Winning result

cd factory

While the manufactured production line of production “hot off the press” CD’s (bit old now, those things) of the winner’s single not available anymore, and no sight of washed up TV presenters shamelessly telling us to buy it by holding up the album artwork of one word in black boring font and one picture of artist just standing there doing nothing exciting, the result loomed.

The winner is…

Silence beckons. Tension mounts. Suspense continues.

James Arthur!

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Matt Cardle version two was crowned. James Arthur has won the show. Nicole was ecstatic. Once again, it was all about her in James bask of glory. Overcoming hardship, the ugly duckling into sweet swan song story delivered us a new duckie for the future to rinse our water of the back of. It was set in stone from the beginning shows. This is what X Factor wanted, as did Mr. Cowell.

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Singing sensation, Matt Cardle

We arn’t without praise for James, but we keep reality real. He will struggle if not careful thought out. At this time, and on X Factor performances, he was still abundant in showing his true potential. All safe and no qualities of interest outside of a few “off the hype” singles could cost overall reputation. Steve Brokestein, sorry Brookstein, is written among James’ stars if handle wrongly. After the first few singles, fans will want to be defiant now, as always, though after the bubble bursts, no one has thought on how to preserve their longevity.

Well done James, you weren’t the worst star on the show, but not the best on performance and heightened sympathy to derail the real winner, Christopher Maloney.

We’ll have one last X Factor post coming next week. It will be the one Simon Cowell should read. It’s how to sort this whole mess out. You really should take a meeting in London over January 2013. What do you have to lose? 5- 10 mins or millions of viewers? This isn’t an ego trip, but, who was the only person to see James Vs Ella coming?

All profits from the single will go to the charity for children, Together with Short Lives.

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All the acts then showered James on stage with adoration for his victory. Not exactly Leona Lewis, but, congrats! People just couldn’t bear the sympathy and hypocrisy stories this year.

Thank god it’s over, for now. It was the toughest watch possible.

X Factor UK 2012 The Final: Part One

X Factor UK 2012

The Final: Part One

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Part One of X Factor 2012 UK’s final was set. On Saturday 8th December 2012, live from Manchester Central Arena, the spectacular was unleashed. After trying times, the show finally set out to crown a winner. Over the weekend, the two last parts would see either Jahmene Douglas, Christopher Maloney or hot favourite James Arthur take the crown.

The final took place in Manchester, as many believe the show’s insiders forgot to book Wembley arena. Despite this, the show went on.

 

Jahmene Douglas

Move on Up – Curtis Mayfield

jahmene xf final

Opening up inside Big Ben staging to reveal Jahmene was a pitiful, laughable attempt for the final and the grand opening. What relevance did it also have?

At the live final, Jahmene chose to be miming live. Very bad live technicalities followed.

He also looked completely lost and uncomfortable on stage.

There was no star quality shown for a future artist yet.

Meek, drab and uninteresting.

Louis who chose to repeat his ludicrous statements that Jahmene, as he said of Rylan Clark previously, was a “role model” for people, where he showed nothing in that sort. Jahmene reminded Louis of a “Luther Vandross.” What an insult to Luther.

Tulisa jumped in with a “young, timid soul” She wished him the “best of luck from the bottom of my heart.” Another clouded judgement of personal interest than professional outlook.

Gary added a touch of reality expressing the song choice wasn’t worthwhile as he was “not a fan” of the selection. “No chance to shine” was his credible critique.

Mentor Nicole Scherzinger added “My little Jahmayzal” tackily pleaded for votes “C’mon Manchester, show some love. All people in Great Britain, change life, vote for him!”

Where are the regulators who take a lazy approach and ignore the whole series investigation?

Christopher Maloney

What a Feeling – Irene Cara

christopher maloney final xf

Another abusive piece of footage from backstage bullying was show with the building in the VT shown stating TO LET with a space in it reading down to insinuate ‘TOILET’ for Maloney’s journey on the competition.

Once the performance began a HI Fi radio burst open seeing Maloney give a groovy, upbeat song amidst a series full of mundane, safe, dreary performances to be carried by other contestants. It was a great vocal transgression, as the show’s ethos is. To start out growing and progress over the week’s with a better sound, which this act did so, as others failed to do.

Strong high notes into a dancing beat were also added.

Some felt it was a sabotage song from backstage interaction of producers of the show.

Nicole went on “not easy what you just did. I know how hard you’ve worked to be here.”

Louis aimed to protect his constant abuse every week admitting he was “negative a few weeks ago. I love the high notes.”

Tulisa “Must be amazing, you always do you” she quipped in a meaning to be compliment, yet words were still subliminally derogative.

Gary acknowledged the “people’s vote” had received “masses of criticism” whilst focusing on his performances in a positive light.

James Arthur

Feelin’ Good – Nina Simone

james arthur xf final

Walking out to a dubstep/ Professor Green characterisation yet again, walk and talking into the mic from throughout the audience backstage doing the whole ‘grime thing’ come superstar arena guy. The song, highly dated in X Factor handling, was another stereotypical and safe performance. We have seen this all before.

A scream and shout, then lost intensity among the bass drowning out his vocals. Please save us Matt Cardle.

Louis gabbed on “Find somebody new, who deserves a break. You’re special. People have to vote” he asked once again.

Tulisa then shouted “Pick up the phone and vote for James Arthur!”

Gary added “best performance to date by far.”

Nicole rounded up with “Fighter. Super-star. My love, hope your feelin’ good” in a bundle of clichéd donations.

Duets will come next.

Kelly Clarkson

Breakaway

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American Idol victor and star Kelly Clarkson sang as the video package behind showed the class of 2012 for the X Factor’s TV journey. Cheryl Cole was given a close up, as long clips of all acts were shown, except for Christopher Maloney who had a fraction of a second shown with more backstage victimisation involved. Clarkson gave another pleasant performance.

Nicole, who wasn’t at the judging desk, has some pork scratching’s from her pub encounters, which Dermot passed to Gary who in turn passed them to Tulisa. #PorkScratchBreath

Jahmene Douglas and Nicole Scherzinger

The Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston

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Stereotyped Jahmene sang another Whitney classic to overkill on the series once more, ruining her legacy with lack of respect.

Jahmene was isolated on platform seemingly off shore. Nicole, the mentor, had a grand entrance with the doors opening revealing her. Jahmene was obsolete. Scherzinger sang as she walked and met Jahmene in the middle of the long catwalk. Soon enough, tragedy would strike.

Scherzinger, whose voice was still loud as beforehand, found her mic not to be working, which exposed the fact tracks were pre-recorded in rehearsals earlier in the week.

jahmene nicole mic

She would instantly and yobbishly grab the mic, wresting it from protégé Jahmene’s hands as he was confused and shocked to the level of swift aggression by his mentor who sought to maintain her reputation and forget about her subject looking a insolent fool to millions of viewers.

They then shared the mic.

Many have debated whether the production crew PURPOSELY cut the microphone, in order to protect votes and sympathy for Jahmene to increase to boot out Maloney. It would not surprise me.

Tulia and Louis instantly stirred the crowd to cheer when the mic was cut. Interesting.

After the ‘accident’ Jahmene blared out a little bit of noise and Nicole smashed through with her vocals. It was all about Nicole once again.

The mic was working fine when Jahmene had it. Scherzy’s also had the vocals projected, even though the mic wasn’t on. So why did she change tack to one mic only? …

Nic played it up further adding “it sucks when your mic isn’t on” The backing track played lous enough and at constant volume when the mic wasn’t ‘working.’

Christopher Maloney and Gary Barlow

Rule the World – Take That

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A classic tender track from the Take That bandmate and expert songwriter Gary Barlow lended his support to Maloney.

X Factor didn’t want anyone to duet with him for fear of greater votes acquired.

It was a better manoeuvre. The pair had a powerful ballad with strong holding and star quality projected. Maloney gave his best performance ever alongside Barlow in what was proof of Maloney’s musical journey with great levels of improvement and now star essence. He also looks flawless in coats.

c maloney g barlow

Begrudging Tulisa and Louis were the nodding dogs to the music played out on stage.

There were high notes, as well as being powerful, classy, respected and professional.

Asked how it felt to duet with Maloney, Barlow responded “Gorgeous.”

James Arthur and Nicole Scherzinger

Make You Feel My Love – Bob Dylan

james nicole final

James began with Nicole double duty Scherzinger taking over. Both mic’s were working now. The shouting overkill rang out again from Arthur in an overdoing manner. This will ruin his overall outlook if continued. Beat and linger screams then followed. Despite all the noise, and the trying effort, it was essentially a ballad of boredom. It did not show any true star qualities that Arthur can be as an artist going forward, despite following, at this time.

Having votes now, in the X Factor bubble is all well and good, but how do you preserve your longevity which no one has even began considering. The curious case of Steve Brookstein rings forth.

The X Factor Final Live on ITV1 - 8th December 2012.

Nicole afterwards said “Manchester, give it up for James Arthur” once more playing to home crowds, often a tradition in American culture. This is a respected British showcase, and the two countries are respected for having different staging, which makes both imports successful to the other.

James responded “Best mentor. Brought my confidence back.”

Up next?

Dermot introduced the next musical guest signing with “Open Arms.”

Rita Ora

RIP / How We Do

rita ora tracksuit xf

You may remember Ora lately making waves from the X Factor auditions as a guest judge. You may remember her trending on Twitter a few weeks back as “Rita Whora” after allegedly cheating on Robert Kardashian. (Pot, Kettle, Black.) Or it may have been from her X Factor performance on the live results show also.

Either way, Ora performed a good medley of her few hits. These consisted of RIP, How We Do. There was no “Open Arms” single sang. Get your wording right.

She started with a burnout car blazing in the middle of the arena booked in. Wow, that’s, fresh.

Seemingly taking a Tulisa/chav stance, transforming into a tracksuit and coat, this time entered some weaker than usual vocals talking through the piece rather than singing. She was a little drowned out by her own voice in the backing track played over her. Whoops.

rita ora judge panel

After her How We Do track, Ora proved to be an expert suck up removing all her individuality respected for adding “Tulisa and Nicole doing a great job” on the panel. Ora publically asked for one of their jobs here in disguise. Classy.

Ora has a new UK tour coming up soon.

Five minute warning!

Someone is getting booted off, so hurry up and vote people! Tense.

To fill the time, X Factor finally brought on a real star.

Kylie Minogue

Can’t Get You Out of My Head

kylie quality street

Electric violins and an open door “La La La…” set the scene as Kylie strode onto the stage gracefully. Clad in a shining orange dress not to be mistaken for a quality street wrapper, Kylie added glamour and dignity with a dash of tantalising zest.

Surrounded with orchestral tone, with gothic, dark underlines, filled with concert stage worth it was something never seen before on a TV stage. It was an excellent showcase of star aura.

kylie male props

She later joked with her human props, who seemingly unmovable till one collapsed in a fun moment. The other, kept his bargain of unbreakable rock. Both added to the chatty composition afterward with Ky and Derm.

We now have the final, final result…

The Result

nicole boys

The first act making the final is… James Arthur.

The second act making the final is… Jahmene.

james jahmene lift xf

Christopher Maloney was the last to be eliminated form the public vote. He finished in third. Of his time in the competition he said “This has been my life for ten months, it’s been an amazing experience for me, some days have been hard but there’s been more good things than bad.

chris maloney tie teal

“I’ve learned a lot about me as a person and how strong I’ve had to be it’s been emotional.”

Maloney may gain a record contract and feature on the X Factor tour, despite bosses trying to remove him from it as a measure of abuse, once more. More on this later.

X Factor UK 2012: Week 9 Results

X Factor UK 2012:

Week 9 Results

nicole sher kiss it 9

Eccentric Scherzinger telling everyone to “Kiss It!”

tulisa white dress 9

Pretty doily Tulisa

After the glam entrances in the downgraded ‘style wars’ of dress sense, and a re cap of all the previous night’s drama the acts took to the stage together once more.

Group Song

Merry Christmans Baby – Three Blazers feat. Charles Brown

James and Jaymi sang well. Josh ruined it once again with his blues brothers humming along. Jahmene adds some sound.

Rod Stewart arrives!

rod auditionee

Why, oh why, didn’t this Rod hopeful get through?

rod and finalists 9

Rod and the lads sing a jolly jingle tune

James serenades Rod. Maloney given no lines at all seemingly.

At least you can’t blame him for anything this time. So, if the song was rubbish, then it’s not him your diverting your concern to. Think about it. Blatant James Arthur plugging as hot favourite from X Factor inside production crew. They and Cowell want Arthur to win. He’s gaining the lowest votes.

Tulisa

Sight of You

Covered up her urban roots whilst performing new single.

Covered up her “urban roots” whilst performing new single.

From afar zooming in and out, in a hoody and a prism spotlight shining down, Tulisa entered a level vocal of minimalism to a backing track. The X Factor judge, who critiques other acts on the very stage entered what was a rather standard performance with no mass impact nor emotional connection having no key expression, all clad in leather. Felt off in key towards end after most took their attention elsewhere or made a cup of tea.

Charity Together for Short Lives, which helps young born children with difficulties was shown next. Proceeds going to them from a charity single by X Factor, which wasn’t fully explained. Did we forget in the mass bubble of manipulating the shows audience to vote a certain way?

On Wednesday 28th December after realising that Christopher Maloney may win the show, Simon Cowell announced the charity will receive 100% of the profits from the single, shunting the winner in the hopes Cowell reaches a number one single in order to save the flagging reputation of the show above all else in a panic over the ratings and production crisis unfolding. Previously there has been a separate charity single featuring all live show acts.

P!nk

Try

pink resplendant 9

Resplendent, class act once again.

With an elegant ensemble of violins, electric guitars, drums and a smooth resplendent tone Pink instantly added her attitude to the song and maintained star quality never overdoing and ruining the track. Yet another flawless performance with all external factors and pure quality with gorgeous glam for the star who still contains attitude in the industry. Pink will be touring the UK back in April.

The Result

Dermot O’Leary informs us that in “no particular order, first act through to the final is” – James Arthur. Joining James is – Christopher.

The last place in the final goes to – Jahmene.

Union J have been eliminated on the public vote as the judges cannot save anymore. They were in the sing off an astonishing three times. We were treated to one last performance.

Union J

Love Story – Taylor Swift

Jeffrey, George, Zippy and Bungle

Jeffrey, George, Zippy and Bungle

Repeating the same song from earlier in series again, began with tough vocals from Josh then JJ following through. Jaymi consistent. Following with strong sound, the backing group still awkward. George still the odd one in the group doing nothing much except an extra. Many a missed opportunity.

rainbow

The placement of the band is highly disjointed, and if they re-affirmed their structure they might be interesting for once in the right aspect. They were on borrowed time for many weeks as voters voted in defiance, not respect.

Union J boldly stated publicly they can be bigger than One Direction and plan to take them on and destroy their market. Speaking to tabloid newspaper The Mirror, Josh Cuthbert added: “We want to do better than One Direction.”

Can Union J defeat One Direction before they've even begun?

Can Union J defeat One Direction before they’ve even begun?

The three finalists burst out from the opening doors behind to cuddle host Dermot to celebrate reaching the final stages of the competition.

Emotional Jahmene cries, as James and Christopher thank fans for their support.

Star Sande set to perform at the final next week

Star Sande set to perform at the final next week

The final looms next week with acts like Kylie Minogue, a returning One Direction for an astonishing third time, as well as Emile Sande and Rihanna, who performed last week.

X Factor UK 2012: Week 8 Results

X Factor UK 2012:

Week 8 Results

Alliance remains.

Group song

Viva La Vida  – Coldplay

James Arthur starts fair but still standard. Whining Rylan, Jah-diva-mene, Maloney getting into mood with good note. Jahmene walking on with mime of song seemingly uninterested. Lazy. Union J harmonies all over and off. Quiff guy bad, George incapable. The other one sings. Jahmene nothing words. Ooooohhhh moans of Uinon J, joined by Rylan and James, Union J add worse tone to it, to ruin. James attempts to save it, as song given is more his style. Funny that, huh?

Bruno Mars

Locked out of Heaven

Prince and the Revolution meets Blues Brothers in Motown era.

A dazzling jazzy blues number with a cool RnB tone. Energetic band, charismatic vocals and proof of a real singer without over doing it vocally. Less is more. Great dance moves too with a sway and stylistic swag on.

Tulisa is not singing as scheduled last week. X Factor could be sued for false advertising if there aren’t careful, though it felt Tulisa would be blown out of the water up alongside Rihanna or Bruno.

Asked who impressed, of the other acts as judges usually asked are to answer in an ‘unspoken word’ of knowing format, Louis Walsh entered a biased approach. “Union J improved” he blared at high volume. He added “Weird dancers of Fernando” in relation to Christopher Maloney’s performance in a pre-determined attack once more. Parrot puppet Tulisa added he favourite was James also stating “Fernando creepy” after claiming it “wasn’t her style” to cruelly defame and abuse someone personally. Gary Barlow gave a clear, consie answer “Rylan” as Nicole opted to select her own once more ”James Arthur was ***** Buddha or butter? Computer nor English language can compute.

Rihanna

Diamonds

Water raining, stream around, keeping Ri-Ri dry-dry. Beaming sun strobe lights and mist. A real artist on the stage.All are inferior. Funny how the judges disliked Chris Maloney’s performance, yet some similarities in staging were apparent. Yet all judges cheered for the RnB popster Rihanna, whose vocals infused with performance can hardly be challenged.

The Results

In “no particular order” the votes to reveal the first act saved and returning next week is – James, Christopher and Jahmene.

Union J Vs Rylan

Hacks sucking up to the show to gain popular press attention for their own egos saw once more the Antichrist of ‘journalism’ running amock of the profession as celebrity gossip gabber Dan Wooton believes Union J were better vocalists than Chris Maloney. Whether you like em or not, Maloney is certainly better than Union J and Rylan. Many other ‘downgraded’ forms of media are doing the same, proving all puppets and not an actual “journalist.” Hire a real one. I’m right here.

Come on, you odious hack! Union J are terrible. Shows how a random person built on fandom blagged his way into the ‘field’ and still has no journalistic intent nor charisma.

Rylan Clark

Wires – Athlete

Rylan works the stage and walks around whilst giving a sweet kiss to Gary. High notes terrible. Can’t reach them so has to breathily sing vocals. It was an improvement for Rylan in grounds of singing yet was credible of a Week 1 performance. He had slick hair.

Union J

Run – Snow Patrol

Sympathy song bearing the lines “do we have to go?” from the pupping cutie eyes.

The quiff guy singing all the time as lead is wrong choice. His look, the look of desperation and pity on his blank face is dreadful. The two bookends on the end Jaymi and the other one can actually carry the group if there was actual direction on this group, but they have Louis Walsh along for the ride, as well as being utterly clueless among themselves to figure out what to do. The guy in middle killing everything with his over indulgent, egotistical, assumptive bighead attitude acting as the “leader” of the group marring all progress possible. Learn to take a back seat or leave.

Nicole said it was “passionate and emotional” though opted to send home Union J.

Louis Walsh said of Rylan “fantastic guy, great fun, role model, performer. Amazing career” though felt in the sing off “the boys totally won” thus sending home Rylan. He said that quite quickly didn’t he?

Gary added “great sing off and last night” Union J were the “band everyone wants to sign” (hardly.) Rylan had “best vocal performance (and was his) best song choice.” Among the great fun and “none personal, in good fun” honest Barlow sent home Rylan.

Tulisa had the final vote. With no acts of her own, she spoke of the group, mentored by friend Louis Walsh. “Union J – four amazing lads on and off stage. Ryland you’ve entertained. Admire your strength while having to put up with what you’ve had to in this competition.” The noble Constostavlos decided her vote on “most potential to sell records. Pains me to say, act sending home is Rylan.”

Tulisa is fighting for her job, manages to praise non-bullying methods and managed to correctly say Rylan after speaking Ryland in the same sentences together.

Rylan officially called time on his X Factor stint. Upon leaving he had this to say of his time in the competition “Feels so right, had a massive seven weeks.” His highlight came at judges houses. Singing Emeli Sande’s hit Read All About It with all the finalists.

On sister show following the results, Nicole Sherzinger said it was “Not my style to put anyone else down in this competition as mentioned last week by Tulisa” in response to a caller on other contestants in the competition judges felt shouldn’t be there. This of course is the same Tulisa who has done so to Christopher Maloney at full force last week in her upset at controversial decision of Ella leaving to low votes and having her puppet string pulled by producers and Simon Cowell to purposely insult and victimise Maloney on stage, to which she complied. Sherzinger, who has constantly mentioned “cheese” to subtly attack Maloney and vamp it up towards the last few weeks as per Cowell’s request along with bitchy Louis Walsh, who attempted to insinuate and out Maloney’s sexual orientation on television in a derogatory manner broke their integrity foremost. Nicole said yes without saying yes.

Gagging his mate, Si.

One thing is certain. The judges have forgotten what their role on the show is, and the levels of abuse have driven countless viewers away as a result. If judges cannot do exactly that and use the show to bully based on their own preferences than being a professional, to which Gary Barlow has been, then the show is a false façade that needs to be highly investigated by regulators and bullying groups, as well as possibly fined and even removed from television altogether. Should we condone abusive programmes specifically designed to run a production to mentally abuse members of the public?

Childish Tulisa barked “No!” after a caller asked if Gary would complement Christopher if he was not his mentor. Everyone knew this was an inaccurate truth from the 24 year old girl on the panel. Tulisa did the exact, ‘pretend I didn’t hear you can you repeat the question’ moment to create bad tension with the public in a feeble attempt to manipulate their votes. She heard very clearly again.

Barlow added the “public already answered” when explaining they selected the people’s vote into the show.

Louis, who glanced down, and many already know anyway, the judges have the question written down, on their cue cards in front of them which Tulisa checked beforehand.

Tulisa then chose to laugh and point at Gary with Louis when his back was turned. Children on a panel, low voters, and low audience ratings. X Factor wonders why it is in such chaos? The fact they allowed that to go out, without a professional production is just shambolic.

Got a cupcake, somewhere, presumably.

Ella Henderson later called in as Tulisa did some promoting on TV. No Product Placement endorsement was acknowledged. Ella was aksed who she thought the competition was between. “Chris and James” she said, as Tulisa snubbed that comment with attitude. Ella soon retracted her speech when realising a frosty atmosphere from the studio production. She wasn’t supposed to say that name…

Tulisa and Ella continued they had “missed our girly chats. Cupcake.”

Tons of plugs were mentioned at Olly Murs with his new single last week reaching number one in the charts. Olly cannot fathom why he isn’t nominated for BRIT Awards’ Best Male for 2013. We’ll give you more detail later.

Until then, the show is further into chaos with its de-humanising and victimised bullying of one star, as Cowell is “desperate” for a male to win so he can have a new ‘Matt Cardle’  who has been sent to the realms of obscurity since a new record label had esteemed faith in him. He has, and remains the only male to remain strong with a career out of X Factor and stands tall among the charts.

X Factor UK 2012 Week 7: Results

X Factor UK 2012

Week 7: Results

All smiles…

Group song

Young – Tulisa

Union J began with a fair start from singer Jaymi. Jahmene standard. Rylan getting into party mood. Christopher given some rubbish lines to look weak. Ella voice didn’t match the style of song.

All together sounded like a watery cheap back alley performance. James enters with the musky tone well. Rylan shimmy’s to some words. Union J guy aiming to be front member with terrible vocals. Group re-join. Arthur looks highly uncomfortable. Jahmene a lost, non-entity. Rylan at some party not bothered about the song, in a karaoke manner. As a group and the song, it was run down and should have been avoided. All a caricature gimmick.

When asked on the performances of acts biased Tulisa said of her act Ella, “one of her best performances.”  Pass her a new script. Host Dermot O’Leary said Nicole would be the first judge to have all three acts in the quarter finals for an ego boost. (Yeah, but it doesn’t actually mean anything, does it?) Careful on cont-sa-nants Dermy.

It was reported earlier in the week stubborn Jahmene Douglas refused to sing the scheduled TGIF single by Katy Perry as it disagreed with his morals for including lines regarding drinking and partying as he is tee-total. He also added he wanted to be in the sing off, for a laugh, highlighting how much the competition doesn’t mean to him. He added he needed to win to “grow as a person” for personal development.

Olly Murs

Troublemaker (feat. Flo Rida)

Crowd pleaser Olly Murs enters from opening doors walking down light up stairs. Careful how you approach those stairs. Is this the new version of Michael Buble come Jersey Boys? Braces were a good look but didn’t fit his body and way too loose. As for the track, we like Murs as an individual, though his music of that different style doesn’t instantly appeal or grab us as we would like to. Bear in mind one enjoys this ‘type’ of music, but Murs is a bit too easy with it. Not much lift up in the lyrical approach, however, we do like the beat and style of this track and are pleased to say we do like it. There is always one song of any artists that you do like despite the main one’s missing the point beforehand. Has a strong following and enjoyable chap. We wouldn’t turn down a pint int pub and a good ol’ chat, put it that way. He’s cool and this tune was pleasing., but repackaging is crucial to success.

Flo Rida did not make an appearance.

Alicia Keys

Girl on Fire

Dark ninja gothic queen with a Chinese dragon following her proved to be another epic, class act, with an exquisite and powerful star that blew everyone out of the water and stamped a statement on the musical industy. Standing tall on a very powerful and sturdy star pedestal. The performance was outstanding and the musical tone was enriched. How can you contest that?

The Result

Nicole thrilled for Rylan, forgetting her real acts…

Announced in “no particular order” the first contestants to survive till next week’s quarter final are revealed.  Those through are – Union J, Rylan, Jahmene and Christopher.

X Factor once again left Christopher last to be named so that the audience will boo and assume it is his fault, it isn’t so don’t be so easily manipulated. He polled the most votes, according to sources inside.

One hates to say it and it isn’t gloating, but, I told you so. One day, someone, somewhere, will listen, for once and take note. Last week we clearly stated Ella V James would happen. Union J and Rylan are sympathy votes, and Maloney is the most popular, yet X Factor are doing everything in their power backstage to mar Maloney’s potential win which is again, victimisation and a form of bullying. It wasn’t his fault, but announcing him last is meant to manipulate you. Open your eyes, instead of being played. Aren’t the British public “cleverer” than that?

The sing off

Ella Vs James

How will the vote go? Will there be a decision?

Tulisa bullishly introduced her act as “A girl who does not deserve to be in the bottom two tonight, it’s my little star Ella.”

Ella Henderson

If you’re not the one -Daniel Bedingfield

Her voice isn’t fitting the style of songs. Song choice is the most crucial lesson Ella can learn. It is the wrong songs selected. Her range cannot control the notes. Everyone has to make the song their own in some way, sure, but, don’t take on a song that cannot carry her tone. Choose something specific than a “yeah, that will work” in a rushed five minute decision without any thought process.

Ella gave a good rise in the high notes, but still off in parts and can only produce the high notes, which comes off to the public. Hard to see mass albums sold afterwards.

James  Arthur

Fallin’ – Alicia Keys

Distasteful Nicole exclaims with borderline swearing upon introducing her act – “One of the greatest talents to grace this stage, this is James E’ff’n Arthur.”

James loudy shouts with his trusted guitar. Claims of a Professor Green with a guitar, Arthur is ruining the rise and fall with notes with his attempts at intensity coming through to showcase his talent, which is highly ruining it. Strained, awkward and a little sloppy.

Hmm, it’s a conundrum, but we never sit on the fence. We would save, thinking hard on it, James, slightly tipping it.

The Vote

Infuriated, volatile adolescent Tulisa adds “People are voting for the wrong people. Ridiculous. People not voting for who they should be” going off on a personal tangent to insult the public’s integrity.

Nicole’s resolve faded to a sour note mentioning “Tragedy for the show that you two are in the bottom two” as most talented.

Bookend Louis added “I’m in shock. I hate seeing these girls (Tulisa and Nicole) upset. Ella, so much potential. James, amazing, a ready-made act for record deal.”  Louis opts to send home James. Tulisa alliance is always strong.

Gary – “Finally. It’s a singing competition. The razzmatazz and staging, put behind you,  it’s about the vocals. Act sending home is Ella.”

DEADLOCK arrives! The public vote now boots out the one with the fewest votes. Who is it, Dermot?

Leaving the show is – Ella.

Stroppy Tulisa released a boorish onslaught after failing to get her way. The audience were in uproar on Twitter adding “Who does she think she is? Not going her way, she throws a tantrum!” The mass hypocrisy of Rylan and Union J praised from Tulisa’s own mouth in previous show comments has cost her for trying to build alliances with judges when Ella faced this situation. Tulisa CANNOT blame others when SHE praised those comedy acts. This is what happens when you lose your mind. It is inevitable.

The recent WAG joined her departing act on stage repeating “It is ridiculous. People thought she was safe, nothing wrong with her performances.”

Didn’t see that one coming, did they?

Come off cloud nine and realise that people didn’t vote for her because they didn’t like her performances and safe play in the competition, running out of steam, coasting along with no risks taken.

Union J were saved by teen girls because they fancy them to save from last week’s sing off. Jahmene is a mass sympathy vote, and Christopher is most favourable due to his journey and progression as an artist, as the show ethos pertains to. James and Ella were both boring performances. Once realisation from own personal ego, one may learn to be a little more dignified and mature while understanding how it works.  No one is voting for a girl, because all the girls are busy throwing their knickers at Union J and Jahmene with sympathy and adoration. You’ll never be with them, but public like to think they could have a chance in their warped version of reality. It is the way the show and the pitiful audience allow themselves to run.

Receiving torrents of judge/backstage abuse for singing and being popular on his musical transition.

“Im close to Tulisa. So sorry for my…” Nicole adds after the result on sister show The Xtra Factor, admitting personal connection clouding judgement calls, as well as apologising half-heartedly for her obscenities.

Tulisa further implied aggressive aspersions “I’m back to my urban roots, don’t ask me any question!” Angry, juvenile, emotional children on the panel are the biggest risk possible. After receiving mass amounts of wonga as a panellist having all on a plate, Contostavlos choose to slate the very shows format and the public’s integrity.

Tulisa would not stop her torrent of misunderstanding by continuing on “If you like an act pick up the phone and vote” she added in the most inconsistent display of language possible. That’s exactly what the voters did. It just happened to be that they did not like Ella nor the mentorship of safe and boring performances.

One caller rang in and said “her song was slower.” She added “Love Ella, but was slower.” Defiant Tulisa chose to place another  calculated personal  attack on Christopher once asked by co-host Caroline Flack, yet the audience boo that Rylan got through, when asked if Rylan should have got through also. Tulisa only blamed Maloney for gaining votes on his credibility, as comedy goof Rylan, whom Tulisa constantly praised, sailed through. She felt Rylan was OK to go through.

She slammed him being annoyed with “That Christopher’s through” with a slouched, bratty face beamed to the nation live on air.  Twitter users instantly wrote she was “Proving Twitter right that she is a chav” as Louis Walsh branded her. Louis said he thought Rylan would go.

Tulisa encouraged a caller to repeat his comment when debating if Christopher should go through having heard it correctly first time. Unable to handle rejection and hopes of winning the X Factor, Contostavlos sails out of the quarter finals and as the first judge to have ZERO acts in the competition.

At least she can “sit back and watch it” as she mentioned on Saturday’s main show.

The audience cannot blame Maloney for Ella’s departure when Rylan and Union J are two of the worst singers in the show which forces a double standard on the show and its whole backstage victimising production after failing to realise that the act’s they personally asked to audition to go through to live shows were not as popular or talented as they once previously thought.

Twiiter users claim Tulisa was “Vexed”

Most added they would turn off their screens again, not because of Ella, but because of the bullying to Christopher and Tulisa’s scathing attacks, whilst Nicole’s annoying catchphrases of no sense and distaste removed them from the audience of watchers.

You can see last week’s results show where we clearly saw this one coming! – https://falsefabs.wordpress.com/2012/11/13/x-factor-uk-2012-week-6-results/

X Factor UK 2012: Week 6 Results

X Factor UK 2012

Week 6 Results

Group Song

Beautiful Day – U2

Bono must be livid. Share a cuppa with Sting.

Were told this one is “live.” James started the song to no impact as Rylan ruined as usual. Christopher added a deep, musky beautiful tone. All the rest pile in drowning out the sound. Ella was ok. Not amazing. No opinion on her from anyone. District3 way off and shouty all over every time. Can’t maintain level tempo of composition. Union J sang woooo hoooooooooooooo. That was it. Jahmene chimed in, always having to shout at the end with one note only. That’s the only thing he can do, can’t hold a full song together. Won’t have a future after the X Factor bubble bursts at that rate.

Nicole mocking Britain. Why are you here then? Go “home” if you feel uncomfortable here. Louis gave a humourous quip about urban roots on Tulisa’s hair. Ooooh! But, then, that’s what the show is, unwitty, childish antics of namecalling.

Little Mix

DNA

I have succumbed. There is always an artist/group that you dislike for whatever reason, though has a least one “guilty pleasure” you can’t help but like.

This single shows attitude and slight sense of character, but lose gimmicks and the Tulisa hand DNA sign jewellery accessories. Accessories added will destroy your look and view will become labelled as lame instead.

Way too many ‘hunky’ dancers. Struggle to get those notes out. Bit watered down, singing live. Still learning. Wonder if Misha B will get a performance call?

Sexual crotch on display. Record biz does require you to change though, yes, but, damn… Tulisa full of her own inflated ego. There not yours anymore…

“So funny. All grown up now.” She mentions. “Why you meant to do this. So on point and confident now.” She continued. On-point… Anyone would think this a dancing show…

What artists get signed when un-confident in the business? Ah the “beauty” of X Factor and a multi-millionaire music mogul to bail us all out. Won’t take my calls though will you..? Contradiction. Double standard.

Ed Sheeran

Give Me Love

Ed Sheeran gave a pre-recorded performance as he was busy with a Newcastle gig. We don’t blame him; we wouldn’t cancel a music gig for a tele show that can’t be bothered with music.

The Result

Five acts through in “no particular order” are – James, Rylan, Jahmene, Ella and “you’ll find out after the break.”

Wow, X Factor are really mixing it up…

The final place safe for one act next week is revealed – Christopher.

The sing off

Union J Vs District3

District3

Amazing – Bruno Mars

Off key too fast into it and rushing through the song. Tripping over everything. No harmonies. Terrible. Guy in middle tries to save but so wayward off key. Near crying. Can’t hold it together, none can handle pressure, should not be put into spotlight. Louis concern.

Union J

Set Fire to the Rain – Adele

All over one another worse than District3 then shouty linger out guy who thinks is lead man. Terrible alignment. Too big a song, they NEVER learn when a song is too big for them. District3 crying realising they are out on the sidelines.

Union J too aggressive and shouty. All for show, absolutely terrible only the guy in teal is trying to save it. Louis looking solemn, realising both groups were just as bad as one another.

Was it not Gary who said only James Arthur should perform Adele songs? Union J still doesn’t learn, and with that attitude, you won’t make it in the business lads.

The Vote

Louis is going first. Will he take forever to decide?

As mentor to both, Dermot O’Leary asks for “one name to send home.” Here we go again, Cowardly Louis bellows – “I’m not voting.” Fire him on the spot.

It’s happened before, Dermot blasély points out dismissing it, in reference to when saint Cheryl Cole chose to abstain her vote in a disgraceful manner. You are paid tons of money to be on the panel and make a decision, even when your own acts come up against one another. It should not be allowed to be dismissed and anyone avoiding should be fired on the spot!

Gary thought this choice would be “quite simple seeing these two in bottom” initially thought. “Shame, is one of the worst vocals to date” and opts to send home District3.

Nicole said “bad day of harmonies” of District3. On Union J she spoke – “Boys, you have my heart. Group I think is more mature and a little bit more ready is Union J.” Screams of audience are pitiful. Nicole sends home District3.

The vote is over at 2 out of 3 votes due to Louis cowardice.

Tulisa – “think the performances were in different ways, ya know? Have a deep connection with District3 so I would’ve saved District3” Tulisa claims. Good to see her “heart” is in it when judging a music competition based on “singing” as she once expressed weeks ago.

Louis Walsh returns to say they are a ready-made pop act. On their downfall he adds – “I don’t know, maybe two boybands?”

Wait for next week when Ella will be facing James in the sing off.