Strictly Come Dancing 2015, Week 2: Beginning

Strictly Come Dancing 2015

 Week 2: Beginning

judges 15

Back for the second week after its introduction ceremony is the Strictly showdown. one couple will leave the dancefloor after tonight’s performances. The challenge has officially begun.

As ever the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli will score as will FalseFabs (in brackets) with honest and constructive critique.

Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman continue the hosting duties.

Jamelia and Tristan

Cha Cha Cha

Don’t Cha – The Pussycat Dolls

Good start, bit of rhythm. Continued partnership developing. Could be dynamite if too let loose and feel the connection. Lose all inhibitions. Good feet but gaps noticeable in places. Fire up the chemistry.
4, 6, 5, 6 (5)

Daniel and Kristina

Charleston

Let’s Misbehave – Cole Porter

scd week 2 daniel

Easy and simple. Kristina not too fussed to bother with old crooner O’Donnell who is trying hard and giving Strictly his all. Tad clunky and disjointed in places. Bit boring. Needs work with less concentration on steps and take a more natural approach to dance. Will be in for a few weeks from the grannies.

5, 6, 6, 6 (4)

Kirsty and Brendan

Salsa

Can’t Touch It – Ricki Lee

Bit of a mess, really. Looking good won’t outdo flinging around the floor as a showoff with Brendan, who opened his shirt to show some flesh for votes. Be careful. This one could be a Gabby Logan. Kirsty was too leggy and her trying efforts did not connect well with dance aptitude. All over the place. Messy, with no control. Juvenile.

5, 5, 5, 5 (4)

Jay and Aliona

Waltz

See the Day – Dee C. Lee

The pair gave a smooth and controlled swirl of decent steps. The footwork was calm and movement adequate. Aliona again risked it all by being too showy and loves to dance on her own on the spot in twirls and leave her partner isolated. Despite this, overall, for once, it was considerably sound.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Iwan and Ola

Cha Cha Cha

Sexy and I Know It – LMFAO

iwan 2

A weak soundtrack and taught frame did not help either here. Iwan played up to the desperation further by ripping open his shirt to get some ‘sex votes’ with tattooed man boobs. If you need this on the first week of voting, what does that truly scream for you? It wasn’t well incorporated and was just slutty. The dance lacked steps, rhythm and skill. LMFAO? More like PMSL. Poor Man’s Sashay Limp. It was not funny. When the beat kicked in, Iwan stood still and Ola shook her bum a bit. Flawed. Dull as dishwater, d(h)arling!

It was stompy, unrhythmic. – Craig.
2, 4, 4, 3 (2)

Georgia and Giovanni

Waltz

Georgia On My Mind – Ray Charles

This one was easy and simple. Georgia winged it and much of her footwork was average. Simple, easy and not very enlightening. It felt cheap and looked empty. It will need more than ‘looking good’ which this pair of lookers are banking all their hopes on. Steps were not fully interesting and was a wasted dance.

Top line kind of spoilt your picture – Bruno.

No rise and fall. (Needs) Drive through on all Waltz/Foxtrot. You look gorgeous. Work on the technique. – Len

6, 6, 6, 7 (5)

Ainsley and Natalie

Salsa

Don’t Touch My Tomatoes – Josephine Baker

Good in hold. Natural partnership. Vibrant and saucy. Nimble movements and good work on the floor. Bit of butt shimmying from Ains a crowd pleaser. Great flip of Nat for Week 2. Perfect ending tilt down on Ainsley lifting Natalie. What joy and class. Decent footwork and moves. Huge effort and smooth starts.

Len said – Brilliant job. completely suits your personality. Didn’t make excuses. You did some bits wrong but with style. Juicy and delicious and you were cooking on gas!

6, 7, 7, 6 (7)

Carol and Pasha

American Smooth

Isn’t This a Lovely Day

Carol had Pasha pick her up from the Strictly bus stop with a cheesy umbrella get up. It’s bad luck to open a brolly indoors mate. It was a drizzly start and a boring walk around on the spot in hold. The music was too dreary than classic and calm. Puns aside, this was no warm front. There was no dance and just a turn with Pasha holding. Dry spout wasn’t good enough. No effort.

Len gave his critique – Gotta be more exaggerated in the movements of the dance.

Craig added it – Lacked a bit of movement.

4, 6, 5, 5 (1)

Kellie and Kevin

Cha Cha Cha

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – Elton John and Kiki Dee

Speccy stunner Kevin took Kellie to the seaside, in London. The theme is set. After trying to pinch one another’s chips on the stage the dance began. Good lines and warm embrace. Composed turns and walkway hold struts by both. Cheeky twirls and fun filled. Needs more skill and passion though to fully drive harder as challengers.

Bruno – Don’t over clip it. You lose some hip movements.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Anthony and Oti

Waltz

If You Don’t Know Me By Now

Too stiff in concentration. Great fluidity from Oti. Anthony looking a little lost on the floor. Empty stares to Oti. No emotion in face. Hard to translate on floor. Simply a Strictly checklist to get through the dance, than truly perform well.

Rise and fall too forced. Jagged – Bruno

Better? Tess asked Craig.

Craig – No. Work on finesse of dance. You’re really exposed out of hold. Did well with what you’ve got.

Darcey – You don’t look comfortable in Waltz. You have to lead the lady.

4, 5, 5, 5 (3)

Anita and Gleb

Charleston

Pencil Full of Lead – Paolo Nutini

gleb anita

Robber Gleb falls to the Strictly floor through a sequined tape door as Anita grabs him into a dance. Good synchronicity side by side. Cheeky lift and kicks in Gleb’s arms. Fun double play with lifts and Gleb leapfrogging Anita. Strong feel of fun and 1950s vintage swing. Hard to keep up with Gleb at times showing but overall fantastic effort and compact performance. Great fun.

Ambitious. You’ve pulled it off. -Craig

Loved contemporary feel. – Darcey

Needed bit more Charleston content but full of energy. – Len.

Lost sync. – Bruno.

7, 8, 6, 6 (7)

Jeremy and Karen

American Smooth

Happy Together – The Turtles

scd jeremy 2

Prancing around with a Strictly schoolbook he then took a long time getting into hold and gaining stride. Kicks and flicks on spot weak. Limp music was wrong suit for dance tempo. Stood on spot and extended Karen. Cheap lift on end was not appealing in slightest. Bland. Immovable and tepid. No dancing at all.

You have the look and frame. It wasn’t produced. – Darcey.

Like a paranormal phenomena. Very, very odd. – Craig.

“I’m hearing lots of boos in your defence” said irrelevant host Tess Daly, where there were no boos. Don’t be a joke Tess.

3, 5, 5, 4 (1)

Katie and Anton

Tango

Telephone – Lady Gaga

Dark and dangerous suited well but took a while for her to get a move in. Great twirls and focus in face. Really trying hard. Good steps with pace and caressing the floor. Minor gallop of feet could constitute as lift. Take more care not to get lost in dance. Classy and cool but needs more depth to work up the board. Pleasing.

You had that little mistake. – Len added. Still fantastic, he finalised.

Bruno – So alluring. Try not to wobble.

Craig – Loved the drama, false finish. Lovely. Shame about the stumble.

7, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Peter and Janette

Quickstep

Valerie –  Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse

Hold, posture and footwork are Len’s tips for a great Quickstep.

Smooth, swift and captivating start. Good in hold connection. Bit flat in feel, could use more dance oomph. Great bounce and kicks. Controlled and careful footing. Dainty and sweet.

Bruno – Crisp, clear. Very imaginative. Good storytelling.

Darcey – So light on your feet.

Len – You could have moved more. You’ve got more to come.

7, 8, 7, 8 (7)

Helen and Aljaz

Cha Cha Cha

Uptown Girl – Billy Joel

Aljaz is all greased up to emulate Billy Joel in dungaree slacks with bulging biceps. Past his beaming smile and sheer talent Helen’s start was a good beginning to the floor with shimmy and lone skill. In hold good but proved can work on own and project a level of confidence. Has potential to grow higher. Bit slow in middle of performance so needs more oomph there. Good steps, cheeky fun and strong solo with hips.

Sleek, fun and plenty of confidence. – Darcey.

You’re leg far too straight all the time. Look a little wooden. Full of go. Enjoyed.

7, 7, 7, 8 (7)

All performers have now sealed their fate. On will leave the contest on Sunday’s results show. Below is the dreaded Danger Zone where we name the top three, likely to face the empty Strictly Stiletto and get the boot instead.

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Carol, Iwan and Jeremy

Results to follow.

*Correction*

Last week we said Joanne Clifton was gone. However, as seen on the show this evening she was sitting this year out. Excellent Aussie Pro Trent Whiddon was booted with talented dancers Robin Windsor and Iveta Lukosiute. She is not sacked but not competing.

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Guy Levy

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2015, Week 1 – Introduction

Strictly Come Dancing 2015

Week 1 – Introduction

WARNING: Embargoed for publication until: 07/09/2014 - Programme Name: Strictly Come Dancing - TX: 07/09/2014 - Episode: Launch Show (No. n/a) - Picture Shows: **EMBARGOED FOR PUBLICATION UNTIL 00:01 HRS ON SUNDAY 7TH SEPTEMBER 2014** Claudia Winkleman, Tess Daly - (C) BBC - Photographer: Guy Levy

Over the weekend on Friday and Saturday the Strictly spectacle returned with some rather interesting results. It was the first week of dancing and the looming elimination beckons this coming weekend, losing one celeb dancer from the pack.
The opener had its fair portions of glitz and glam and the odd cack-handed gallop.

As ever, FalseFabs will give their true and honest score in brackets below, next to the judges scores from Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Buseell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli.

Joining the line up are three new dancers. Russian looker Gleb Savchenko, who was hyped for his so called attractiveness, overly vain Italian heart throb Giovanni Pernice and petitely stunning demographically sourced black female South African Otile (Oti) Mabuse. Gone are Iveta Lukiosute, one of Strictly newest and best dancers, Kevin Clifton’s sister Joanne Clifton, and recently out gay favourite Robin Windsor. The decision were announced over the Summer and complete shock to all who have been described as ‘working their a**es off’ for Strictly. Strictly had been under pressure to fire man eating dancer who sleeps with many of her celeb partners Kristiana Rihanoff, who also displayed homophobic tendencies with Aliona Vilani, described as all t*ts and nothing else. Troublemaker Ola Jordan and temper tantrum Brendan Cole survived once more as fans call for them to all be sent away as they have no appeal and are simply abusive. Len Goodman once said “There’s no loyalty at the BBC” when Arlene Phillips was sacked as a judge over ageism for then celeb dancer turned judge Alesha Dixon, now on a rival show instead.

BBC soapie Kellie Bright bumped her way up the board out the starting blocks first with lovable pro Kevin Clifton. Kev’s jumps and bops were a bit flat to the theme with Kellie standing on the spot. She tried to impress and it was okay. She did well considering but needs more oomph and movement to get going. More a steps check list and too much concentration took away from the joy of it. Moderate.

Second out was Anthony Ogogo, an Olympic boxer still clinging on to his loose fame from 2012 which wasn’t all that impressive. Got to get some ‘hard men’ on the show innit? Anthony Ogogo, some random boxer there to bump up ‘the black vote’ and ‘get the girls interested in any old thing’ vote was a shameful approach by the Beeb, who had been under increasing pressure to interest and add in ‘more black faces’ to a closed off BBC. He provided his no mark status with a thrill. He ripped his trousers in his performance. Please. Not another ‘knickers in the air over someone who isn’t remotely attractive’ vote once again. Strictly is so poor it thinks its unnoticeable and invincible. A sixty something old woman produces the show and is usually bitter and nasty to honest critique. How sad for the show. BBC executives have now faced a Licence fee query after its failure to act on the not so fulfilling programming decisions at the top. BBC never act on its own stuff. It never learns.The bronze medallist did a Jive. Eek. This was all over the place and those kicks were limp. It had no enthusiasm and was plain boring despite Oti’s attempts to include great content. It was a jolly tea time granny house ensemble that wasn’t fulfilling.

Ogogo 'aving a go.

Hunk. Ogogo ‘aving a go.

Helen George from a BBC show called Call the Midwife, (?) gained her celeb status (?) joining hunky, joyous funseeker and former winner Aljaz. She took the lead on Friday’s showcase. For the first week footing it was awe inspiring, graceful and breathtaking. She really put the effort in and Aljaz always works his magic. Stunning start.

Carol Kirkwood’s cloudy performance thundered to the bottom few. Her poor start took too long to get started with a stupid weathergirl map reading and her over-plushed hooters taking centre stage. Again it was all about puns. She had last year’s champ by proxy Pasha Kovalev. Her legs, stalled time, distance and empty moments did not please.

Irish crooner Daniel O’Donnell, the granny favourite, took to the floor with maneater Kristina Rihanoff, playing the victim after her tempestuous unprofessionalism sleeping with many ex-partners from the show. She is now dating last year’s contestant Ben Cohen, who split from his wife since. Strictly have not acted at all in reprimanding her. O’Donnell’s performance was noticeably weak and diluted. It lacked key ingredients and the toll on Kristina’s professional choreography showed. Without a stunning beau, she couldn’t be bothered. It was boring and mistimed.

Presenter Anita Rani from BBC’s Countryfile and One Show but not Four Rooms threw herself into the competition with great enthusiasm. Her Cha Cha was refreshing and vibrant. Bruno agreed. Some mistakes were obvious, but for a first start, and no hanging back, Rani could work her way up. She’s happy to get gorgeous Gleb and will need to not be embarrassed by closer working body contact with the fairly okay floppy haired stunner. There’s definitely worse to look at.

rani 1

Saturday brings the remaining celebs to the floor for their first performances. First up is Jay McGuiness and Aliona Vilani. He’s an singer from a boyband that collapsed after failing the big-time. I know you were scratching your heads. Their Cha Cha to Reach Out I’ll Be There was nervous, stiff and unnatural.

Some old bird who used to be sports presenting gold in Kirsty Gallagher followed with Brendan Cole. They chose the Waltz to break in their first week easy. Her hands were nimble and considerably efforted but lacked some strong rise and fall. Nerves but composed. Finish out of hold was wayward choice and another ‘cheat’ mechanism Brendan often employs in underhand tactics once more.

Up next are stick insect ‘take the stick out man’ Jeremy Vine and “all teeth and no substance” Karen Clifton nee., Hauer. Ooh, she finally got married to Kevin. Well done to Kev but on Strictly she has been less than to be desirable. Let’s see what this series brings. Jeremy portrays a wooden, disjointed, rigid performance which sees judge Craig agree. “Disjointed, flat-footed” were among his critique. The rest of the judges lied through their teeth. It was not good enough.

Time to swoon over Strictly’s obsessed new hunk Giovanni Pernice. (Ugh) It seems Strictly are more in love with him than anyone else. Not much room for objectivity, is there? He’s joining soap sexpot and pint sized looker Georgia May Foote. There was no-one else really. They are bravely attempting a Jive. In week one! Giovanni lived up to his disgrace by “looking up her skirt” in the jarring performance. Real nice BBC. Slutty perversion on prime time tele and family entertainment with kids watching? They tried to have fast energy among their flirtatious showmance. It felt more tacky than technical and the steps were clunky. Darcey was predictably in love with the hunk. Get a grip, love. If ever there was a poster girl for hot flush menopause.

Up next is the people’s star of the night, good time chef and all round lovely Ainsley Harriott and partner Natalie Lowe. A Tango to Voulez-Vous gave some pouts and spouts from the cooking pro. Simple choreography for a starting performance complemented well and gave Ainsley decent showtime to impress as a novice. Ains went a bit off key with some energetic oomph towards the end, which was a good time booster. No one is eliminated this week so a cheeky insert it may be. It pleased the crowds. Len said it “captured the flavour if not always the technique.”

ains 1

BBC proms presenter Katie Derham is dancing with housewives favourtie Anton Du Beke. They too are going with a Jive. She made the best of her legs, adding bounce and rhythm but lacked a finer finesse. Decent but loose. She tried.

So called athlete of the past and ever changing his sexuality, Iwan Thomas is dancing with leggy sprite Ola Jordan. Thomas is heterosexual at this time. A Tango to Keep On Running is the predictable song choice. Thomas chose to act all manly and bravado with something more than dance aptitude to prove. This one has issues. He forgot the essence of dance and went too forward with sharp attack with attitude. It really was hit and miss. It looked poor. Was he running a Strictly marathon on the floor? Craig once more provided the honest critique with FalseFabs in spirit. “gappy, lumpy and his bottom was projecting.” Anything for the votes, Craig. Bruno gave a fun critique of Iwan as “plodded through it like an oxen with a heavy load” with disgusting sexual undertones as per usual.

Saving the best for last. Strictly’s two most likely winners in Jamelia and Peter Andre. Jamelia went first with hunky Irish stud Tristan McManus. Do Right Woman by soul goddess Aretha Franklin was a perfect choice to start. A few footing problems arose but was moderately impressive with grace and slow, careful dance incorporation. It had a smooth feel, despite some noticeable errors. It’s week one, those are allowed when performing well with increased effort and care.

scd jam trist

Happy couple.

Brace yourselves ladies and some gents. Peter Andre is closing the show. He’s given the pocket rocket dynamite footstepper Janette Manrara. These could be our deserving winners. Ain’t No Other Man’s Cha Cha was cheeky, lots of steps and motions and fun to watch. There was a buzz and a natural appeal to both. Their partnership was red hot. Janette once more proved how much a pro she is. Strictly will probably do like Iveta and sack her next year. They fire all the good ones. Pete and Janette are capable of leaner stuff and proved flexible enough to deliver in coming weeks. We shall see. Impressive start.

scd 15

For its first night back, Strictly wasn’t better than its line-up last year. It has only two standouts the show is built around and is poorly sourced by BBC luv-ins and a few spares. None of them look impressive and is all about BBC showing off once more. The sad and pathetic ‘Hunk votes’ rear their ugly heads again which puts Strictly and the BBC back into a sad state of nothing about dancing or entertainment. What part of entertainment is loosely filled on sex appeal only, and a lacking attempt at that? BBC admitted the show is nearing its end. The 60+ granny making the show may have advanced that further and the BBC are to blame for taking no action to find suitable and accurate replacements even when FalseFabs was available. BBC is hammering its own nails. It might be over with soon enough. It was not one bit about the dancing or entertainment. It was still better than cruddy X Factor though! Changes need to be made or BBC and Strictly are finished.

Scores

Kellie and Kevin – 6, 7, 7, 7 (6) – 27

Tango, You Really Got Me – The Kinks

Anthony and Oti – 4, 5, 6, 6 (4) – 21

Jive, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham!

Helen and Aljaz – 7, 7, 7, 8 (7) – 29

Waltz, With You I’m Born Again – Billy Preston and Syreeta Wright

Carol and Pasha – 2, 5, 5, 4 (2) – 16

Cha Cha Cha, Thunder In My Heart – Leo Sayer

Daniel and Kristina – 4, 6, 6, 7 (4) – 24

Waltz, When Irish Eyes Are Smiling – Bing Crosby

Anita and Gleb – 6, 7, 7, 7 (7) – 27

Cha Cha Cha, Rather Be – Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne

Jay and Aliona – 5, 8, 7, 7 (5) – 27

Cha Cha Cha, Reach Out I’ll Be There – Human Nature

Kirsty and Brendan – 4, 5, 6, 5 (4) (Point docked for cheating) – 20

Waltz, Vincent – Don MacLean

Jeremy and Karen – 2, 6, 6, 5 (2) – 19

Cha Cha Cha, September – Earth, Wind and Fire

Georgia and Giovanni – 6, 7, 7, 7 (5) – 27

Jive, Dear Future Husband – Meghan Trainor

Ainsley and Natalie – 4, 5, 6, 5 (5) – 20

Tango, Voulez-Vous – ABBA

Katie and Anton – 6, 6, 7, 7 (5) – 26

Jive, Roll Over Beethoven – Chuck Berry

Iwan and Ola – 3, 5, 5, 4 (2) – 17

Tango, Keep On Running – The Spencer Davis Group

Jamelia and Tristan – 4, 6, 6, 5 (5) – 21

Waltz, Do Right Woman, Do Right Man – Aretha Franklin

Peter and Janette – 7, 8, 8, 7 (7) – 30

Cha Cha, Aint No Other Man – Christina Aguilera

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Daily Mail

Press Association

Metro

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing Results: Week 5

Strictly Results: Week 5

scd 14 judges 5

The fourth couple will be leaving the show tonight as Tess and Claudia have the results.

The first couple saved are (in no particular order) – Pixie and Trent. Also safe are Steve and Ola, Sunetra and Brendan, Caroline and Pasha and Scott and Joanne.

The first to fall into the bottom two is – Thom and Iveta.

Culture Club

Karma Chameleon

culture club

Boy George and his Culture Club crew returned to belt out one of their classic tracks. George made an effort to sequin up his hat as the band looked once again outstanding and timeless as a true musical group.

Len’s Lens

More comedy moments were looked at through the lens with Claudia and the judges.

The rest of the results are back. Through to next week (in no particular order) are – Jake and Janette, Frankie and Kevin, Alison and Aljaz and Judy and Anton.

Joining the dance off are Simon and Kristina, leaving Mark and Karen to sail into next week.

The dance off

Thom and Iveta

Cha Cha

It’s My Party – Jessie J

From the start Thom loosens attitude and lets self go in controlled manner well. Fluid and less stiff second time around. More groovy and less concentrating on floor helping dance better than previous attempt. Learning on journey and always developing better. Gave much better performance second time around.

Simon and Kristina

Viennese Waltz

Somebody to Love – Queen

Attempt to work well but wobbly turns. Too rigid, stiff and one dimensional focus, despite effort. Awkward turn around grabs and lacking commanding role as lead. Sadly cannot really progress further. Too big a song for clumsy routine.

The Judges Vote

In the event of a tie, head judge Len Goodman has the casting vote.

Craig – Nasty one cos I like both couples equally. Going to save Thom and Iveta.

Darcey – Also dont think we should choose between both. Couple save is Thom and Iveta.

Bruno – Up to me, both would stay. Most polished of the two were, Simon and Kristina.

Len – Look at footwork and feet. Couple with cleanest footwork, Simon and Kristina.

Sin Binned

Gorgeous couple Thom and Iveta leave as fourth contestants on the out.

Gorgeous couple Thom and Iveta leave as fourth contestants on the out.

Thom said of his experience on the dancefloor:-

Experience exceeded all my expectations. Thom also had a glowing endorsement of partner Iveta.

Thom – Want to thank Iveta. Couldn’t have worked harder. Want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Iveta – You’ve changed so much. Joy to watch that big change. Dancing is not the job its my lifestyle, my love. I love seeing that in you.

Looks like the gays saved loser Scott and instead forgot about losing their hunk of the show. You live and learn. As for Len and Bruno, serious doubt is on them as judges that are credible with voting principals to seem less obvious.

Next week is the Halloween special. Some people could be going under. Stakes are out and higher than ever.

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Voucher Codes

The Mirror

The Sun

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 5

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 5

scd 14 tess claude 5

The four who score are back as the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli take to their judging chairs. As ever our scores are in brackets. Next week is the Halloween special so the stakes (hah!) are high.

Jake and Janette

Quickstep

I’m Still Standing – Elton John

scd 14 jake 5

Good start in rush to floor choreography wise. Good trot along. Consistent with musicality. Playful leg along quirks. Good back leg kick out lift of Janette. Great spin around with control. Leading man, but in trouble of becoming too safe and boring. Needs bit of oomph from previous weeks to really buzz back to top.

Len – Hold as it went trough lost a bit. First out sets the bar.

Bruno – Have to watch the top line.

Craig – Using frame to do dancing instead of legs leading it.

Darcey – So much footwork going on there. Wonderful.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Sunetra and Brendan

Vienesse Waltz

Anyone who had a Heart – Cilla Black

scd 14 sunetra 5

Returning from last week’s mishap as ‘Brendan c**k’ole’ Sunetra attempts to dazzle again. Sparkly frame on wardrobe adds to the grace of movemet around the floor. Good extended footwork. Timid and controlled. Following direction well, but clearly a ‘follow routine’ poise than commanding role. Needs for stomp on confidence as leading lady in partnership. Very well performaded with gracious attitude.

Bruno – Way you placed her. Habit of rising your shoulders.

(Brendan moans.)

Craig – Loved double spin into hold. That takes some doing. Tendency to look down. Extend line little bit ore. Absolutely beautiful.

Darcey – You look very comfortable. It’ only when you come out of hold. Finish those lines.

Len – I thought it was terrific. Kept your poise.

7, 7, 8, 8 (7)

Scott and Joanne

Charleston

Flash Bang Wallop – Tommy Steele

scd 14 scott 5

Tess tries to make Craig crack a smile after Scott will become a photographer for this dance. Great, it worked. Now, can Tess try to be less caricature and less wooden?

Scott takes Joanne’s pic and stands and smiles. Scott stomps his feet up and down to comedy music. Stand on the spot dancing again since first week continually. Scott can’t lift Joanne from ground doing all work around him. Fall back on floor into the oops upside your head house party boat thing. Stupid. Daft over shoulder lift lugging Joanne who kicks leg to music. Pathetic, tame and useless.

Craig – Positively elatious. Absolutely no attempt whatsoever. Feet never came together once. A three year old could have done that better. You put some personality in it.

Darcey – Weirdly pulled this off. Cheeky character. Couple moments you couldn’t pick lovely Jo up.

Len – Got through it. It was fun.

Bruno – Your dance skills are unique. Undefinable. You could be the lovechild of Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant. (Not really, because they both were fun and entertaining, not wishy-washy idiots who don’t try.)

4, 5, 5, 5 (2)

Thom and Iveta

Cha Cha

It’s My Party – Jessie J

scd 14 thom 5

Thom and his brother settled the tips exchange with an arm wrestle and an N-Sync dance off.

Thom starts getting the bum and hips moving well. Good drop down connections with Iveta. Tough transition for Thom to floor as looking bit stiff in dancing. Needs to let it fully go and forget about being judged as losing it on the floor. Good recovery, trying to get into it. Not greatest musicality, to be fair. Still very consistent and improving constantly.

Darcey – Worried you weren’t going to warm in the dance. Difficult dance. Upped your performance.

Len – Occasionally didn’t know what to do with your arms. Having said that, performed it strongly. Lots of hip action.

Bruno – Who wouldn’t party with Thom. Toyboy for every occasion. Your personality becomes more engaging. Looked like a Salsa more than a Cha Cha Cha. Didn’t quite work. Salsa disco.

Craig – Thought it was all pigeon toed. Trying technical side too hard. Rhythm very very good. Quite marvelous at grinding.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Frankie and Kevin

Foxtrot

Daydream Believer – The Monkees

scd 14 frankie 5

Good sweet start. Smooth into hold guidance from Kevin. Bit empty and boring in middle of going around floor. Looking little lost. Quite easy out of hold hand moments. Felt too cheap in hold carried by Kevin. Hiding away than dancing effectively.

Len – Floated across floor like butter on a hot crumpet. Work little bit more on getting body away from Kevin. I know he’s hunky.

Bruno – Content in middle was proper foxtrot. Have to arch back. Gives better line.

Craig – Opening very sweet. Wholesome performance. Go for a bit more of extreme in top line. Thought was enchanting.

Darcey – Just looked too comfortable.

8, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Alison and Aljaz

Tango

Addicted to You – Avicii

scd 14 alison 5

Instant character setting tone. Commands Aljaz well as he does her. Very clean footwork. Keeping theme of dance apparent. Smooth and controlled rotations. Good leg extension. Smooth and controlled contemporary tango. Only lacking bit of faster oomph and sharpness, but very well overall.

Bruno – Definitely integed. Put a monumental effort in there. Like watching an Opera. A very technical dance. Got to be much much sharper.

Craig – Quite the opposite to be honest. Lacked drama. Soft around edges. For-ev-err to get into hold. Felt was dance of sections. Don’t think it was your dance.

Aljaz– My fault.

Alison – Like what you’ve got to say, Craig, so will take that on board, Babe.

Darcey – Suited the dance. Strong, determined performance.

Len – Did take while to get started. Pro’s have to get best out of partner. Exactly what you did. Was a bit of drama going on.

5, 6, 6, 6 (7)

Claudia comes dressed for Halloween early with a sheet and fangs. Yet, she still manages to prove the thrill for Strictly. “Put them in!” Claudia yells as she tries to push ’em in Tess’s gob.

 

Mark and Karen

Samba

That’s the way I like it – KC and The Sunshine Band

scd 14 mark 5

Bellend Mark decided to show Karen some moves down Faces nightclub in Essex. You mugs.

Mark wiggles his willie and bum to get some cheap thrills for votes. On floor follows everything Karen does and does not lead. Shows off on sex appeal flaunting own vanity. Sits on floor gyrating crotch. Glad to see we’ve moved on from the ghost of Jimmy Savile. Mark mimicing Karen and not leading at all. Cheap, shaking body and no actual dancing. No surprise they were in bottom two last week. Simply sad.

Craig – Could have done without all that vulllgar dancing.

Darcey – You can give John Travolta a run for his money. (Really?)

Len – Did exactly what had to do when in dance off.

Bruno – You’re a natural. Talk about the way you work your bum.

8, 9, 8, 8 (2) (Over-marking by producers to keep in a ‘favourite’ for finance. Pathetic and systemic.)

 

Simon and Kristina

Viennese Waltz

Somebody to Love – Queen

scd 14 simon 5

You never use a Queen song when you can’t carry it.

Simon smiles as he glides along, with smoke hiding feet as Kristina sings along. Risky, all over the place and completely retarded. Pitiful performance lacking everything necessary to complement a dance and ticked boxes again or fourth week running to get the steps cleared. Lame.

Darcey – Become elegant. Would’ve liked it smoother.

Len – Didn’t think performance was overly classy. Hectic. Lacked lyrical movement.

Bruno – Very very difficult. Don’t bounce it.

Craig – You’re right thumb was up. That said it all darling.

7, 7, 7, 7 (5)

Judy and Anton

Charleston

Varsity Drag – Pasadena Roof Orchestra

scd 14 judy 5

Judy rows a boat then jumps with dancing on the spot with her paddle. Empty. Nothing going on. Swims on Anton’s back, saying it all there. Lifts up by Anton with a star jump. Ends on Anton’s shoulders to mask failures at dancing. No dancing at all. One of her famous sons shown in audience. (Andy’s busy overseas.)

Len – Always having so much fun.

Bruno – Bit like the Titanic of Charleston. (Jumps out of seat) Enjoyed it.

Craig – Fairly decent. Liked swim thing. Wasn’t ounce of swivel. Timing appalling.

Darcey – Shame you got out of rhythm in couple of places.

3, 5, 5, 5 (3)

Caroline and Pasha

Paso Doble

Live and Let Die – Paul McCartney & Wings

scd 14 caroline 5

Joint cape work to start okay but not thrilling. Yellow and purple UKIP cape Caroline starts moving around the floor well, but freely. Bit watered-down and more about presentation than both that and dance. Bit tacky but fair.

Bruno – Loved passion and drama. I think I’m turning.

Craig – Only but agree. Heavy, used every accent in music to advantage.

Darcey – Detailed fingers.

Len – From Russia with love. Would’ve liked more shaping. Fantastic.

8, 9, 8, 9 (8)

Steve and Ola

Waltz

I wonder why – Curtis Stigers

scd 14 steve 5

Ola walks up to Steve at fountain. Shouldn’t it have been other way around? Steve from behind pulls Ola back and out of way in middle of dance. No connection with partner. Hard concentration causing problems. Shaky moments from spins. Cuddles Ola to end. As pale as Ola’s dress.

Craig – Lovely seeing a gentle soft side to your dancing. Get thumbs down.

Darcey – Not expecting you to understand that grace and elegance. Led Ola effortlessly.

Len – Kept wide frame. Well done.

Bruno – Romantic lead.

7, 8, 7, 8 (4)

Pixie and Trent

Samba

I Yi Yi Yi Yi – Edmundo Ros

scd 14 pixie 5

Pixie has literally got flowers in her hair. Channeling Paloma Faith’s fruit cocktail bandanna years ago (which was great) Pix is going all Copa.

Pix flaunts her boobies as she moves to the floor. Flamenco-ish sound was tad juvenile and sounded echoey cheap thrill. Slowed down dance routine. Good arm arounds. Felt bit distilled and empty in places though. Needed more passion and groove. Looked to easy and careless. Flat.

Darcey – Gave it your all.

Len – Full of fun, energy. Terrific.

Bruno – Tooti Fruti extravaganza.

Craig – Still getting over opening look, those shimmy’s. Isolation excellent. Amazing.

8, 9, 9, 9 (7)

Best dance of the night?

For the third week running (and by default) is –

Caroline and Pasha

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Steve, Scott and Simon

IMAGES

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 4

Strictly Come Dancing, Week 4

scd 14 tess claude 4

Tonight the Strictly showcase gets underway for the fourth week losing the third couple from the contest following Sunday.

As ever hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman are joined by the ever outstanding Dave Arch and his Orchestra. The judges are back to with Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli with their scores below. Ours will be added in brackets.

Frankie and Kevin

Cha Cha

Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen

scd 14 frankie 4

Fair sashay. Arms okay but stagnant. Good movement around floor but too timid still. Shows offs legs, but lack of partnership on floor. Looked like two randoms dancing. Limp ad boring despite steps being there.

Len – Your foot controls your leg, which controls you hip. Little bit loose. But Kevin, Happy Birthday.

Bruno – Have to press through ball of foot.

Craig – Right arm unplaced. Need straighter legs. Expressive hands, I loved it.

Darcey – Sleek and clean. (Darcey dear, don’t copy our critique when you cant carry it for something to say, okay?)

8, 8, 8, 8 (6)

Mark and Karen

Quickstep

Tiger Feet – Mud

scd 14 mark 4

Mark sad he didn’t want to look like a bit of a wussy.

Hobbling onto the floor in desperate attempts to look light weren’t as fluffy as Mark’s white suit. Stand spot and do the steps was boring and empty. Double feet kicked up cheekily off ground. Trying but still very lacking considering was their first attempt at trying an actual dance. Two weeks behind and still terrible.

Bruno – Fancy white knight. Very intricate. (Pfft)

Craig – Sadly lost your top line. Bit tired. Flat hands. Very light of foot. Loved Charleston sections.

Darcey – Have improved in top line, I know boys are complaining. Kept in sync. Very impressive.

Len – Lot of trotting going on at start. Little bit mincyfied. Started to run on empty. Frame much better. Overall, good job.

7, 7, 7, 8 (5)

Judy and Anton

Tango

Jealousy – Billy Fury

scd 14 judy 4

Here we go, the mother whose famous for a son Skype’s her kids for a VT. It was inevitable to flaunt Andy Murray from the enarmoured idiocy on the BBC.

Both try it on with other people at tables as Anton flings Judy across the floor again. Very weak at sharp staccato’s. Great music, no available moments. Trying but just not got it at all. Let your inhibitions go. Jumps into swirl around lift by Anton to be covered again. Should really go home. No improvement. Tons of illegal lifts. Points docked. Cheats.

Craig – Amazing isn’t the word. Thank goodness for all those illegal lifts. Vacant look on your face. Natural stiffness came in very handy. Love the way you threw her like a bowling ball.

Darcey – Wonderful beginning. Wonderful end. So much attack. Soften knees.

Len – Plenty of punch, Judy. Strong, aggression. I know about the lifts, but what you gonna do. (They’re illegal and your a a judge)

Bruno – It actually worked.

4,6,6,6 (0)

Simon and Kristina

Charleston

My Old Man (Said Follow The Van)

scd 14 simon 4

Well if this won’t drop you in the bottom two… Next week, Olly Olly Olly… Biscuits are yummy.

Forced theatrics. No connection. Own performance and not with anyone else. In own world. Flimsy than fun. Got some steps technically well put, but all box ticking again and again. Let go and be less loose. Cool lifts added.

Darcey – I knew there was a star dancer in you. Cheeky style really suits you. I was so impressed.

Len – If you’re in bottom two I’m gonna pickle me walnuts.

Bruno – Simon is back on track. Part of an act.

Craig – Thank goodness. Finally some personality. Great routine.

7, 8, 8, 8 (6)

Alison and Aljaz

Samba

Bootylicious – Destiny’s Child

scd 14 alison

Alison gets a solo jiggy groove to the judges which fails to provoke smiles. Vivacious curves and smooth steps. Bubbling personality. Good movement with Aljaz. Strong choreography. Bit lonesome however, and required more something. Full of sparkle though, which was a joy and talented.

Len – Full of fun, rhythm. footwork little bit suspect. Got mojo back.

Bruno – [Bruno does the funky chicken dance or something] Energy is plenty.

Craig – Footwork letting you down on this one.

Darcey – You got it there.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

 

 

Scott and Joanne

American Smooth

Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler

scd 14 scott 4

Aren’t they doing this with Chloe Jas-balls on X-Factor too? Scott’s celebrity portfolio was brought out again. Scott now brings in his little niece to shamefully get sympathy for bad dancing. Not taking this seriously at all and all for ympathy won’t get you a good dance. Focus.

Awkward sways looking lost. Waits for Joanne to run into standing lift up. Dances on spot gain. Slowed down in amazing power ballad. Waits for Joanne to stand in position to fling leg around. Rotten side steps. Poor presentation.

Bruno – That was supposed to be an American Smooth. So bizarre. How many times it went wrong, I lost count. It really takes some doing.

Craig – Exception to the rule that anyone can learn to dance. It wasn’t smooth, sadly.

Darcey – Slightly out of body experience. Saw some improvement in top line.

Len – Taught routine. Interpret it own way. You look taught. Like painting by numbers. Lacked naturalness. Huge blunder early on. It’s what it is.

2, 5, 4, 4 (2)

Steve and Ola

Salsa

Jump in the Line – Harry Belafonte

scd 14 steve 4

Excellent song choice. Cocktail shaking and spilling Ola’s drink awkward. Bad footing very stiff and lumbered. Carry around lifts standard. Weak shimmys. Tired all ready. Start and stop. Lacked rhythm. Tame. All old women of plus size enjoying Steve’s loose nipple out. Shame they could not deliver and ruined song/dance instead.

Craig – Side to side, not what its about.

Darcey – As Craig sad your missing quite a lot of hips. Well done.

Len – Very watchable, that’s what I like.

Bruno – Talk about making most of pecs appeal! Lacked hip action.

6, 7, 7, 7 (4)

 

 

Pixie and Trent

Rumba

Stay With Me – Sam Smith

SCD 14 PIXIE 4

Horrible song. Predictable. Good start with Trent. Good leg up pull back glide. Neat under leg floor work. Good arms, swift legs. Bit slow in places. Bit too easy reliance and doing less. Still very connective and clean. Pixie gets emotional and cries herself at end.

Darcey – Would like more physicality and tension through your body. Beautiful lines.

Len – Lovely routine. Lacked bit of fundamental Rumba. Lot of posing. Lovely job.

Bruno – Mood for love. Tonight all the hips are wrong. Intense performance, beautiful.

Craig – Loved split drag at beginning. Performance exquisite. Bit more pressure through the floor. Loved it.

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Tim and Natalie

Paso Doble

The Best – Tina Turner

scd 14 tim 4

Tim slips into his fantasy world as a Matador Manuel before in VT land.

Tim lures his bull Natalie to the floor with some good cape action considering his age. Keeping strong frame. Sharp turns and commanding stance. Great music. Could use bit more when flipping Nat around. Decent show and fun filled with a full on trier. Best of the ‘old’ folk.

Len – Well done Tim, you had a go.

Bruno – Too much dust on those sheets. Look like a mildly irritated goat. More spunk.

Craig – Very limp, darling. Lame, lacklustre. All very strange, actually.

Darcey – Improvement from last week. Cleaner. Kept in character. Did miss shaping.

3, 6, 5, 5 (5)

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Salsa

Turn the Beat Around – Vicki Sue Robinson

scd 14 sunetra 4

Instantly spun around like a clock could have been saved for later. Good stepping but seems to have thrown her off course. Getting back into it with good stomping groove. Bit awkward in arm arounds. Good lift over back of Brendan. Great end though bit offish.

Wardrobe malfunction as Brendan’s bollo**s have fallen loose in his trousers.

Bruno – Went wrong quite a few times. Dragged back in beautifully.

Craig – In all lifts need to be a bit stiffer. Lacked little bit of fluidity. Most enjoyable.

Darcey – Hips were really working. Those arms are fabulous.

Len – To be honest, couldn’t take me eyes of Brendan. Think I saw your bongos. Certainly wasn’t your best. Not your worst.

6, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Thom and Iveta

Foxtrot

Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations

scd 14 thom 4

Smooth start with careful, effortless arms. Bit slow in hold to start. Risky of losing audience appeal in walk alongs. Good feet. Clever in hold, not breaking when together moments. Plucked flower given to Iveta cheerily.

Craig – Right hand little bit too high. Enjoyed it. Sweet and cute.

Darcey – Charming. Iveta, well done to you. Held your frame.

Len – Bloomin’ lovely. Be proud of yourself.

Bruno – You can bring my flowers, anytime. But seriously, good to see.

6, 8, 8, 8 (7)

 

Jake and Janette

Jive

All Shook Up – Elvis Presley

scd 14 jake 4

Amazing hips instantly. Strong lead of Janette to the floor. Strong kicks and flicks. Holding own in very difficult man’s dance but lacking halfway through. Tiring out at end but still strong style and groove with Janette.

Darcey – So entertaining. Such strong leh action. Knees came right up.

Len – Posture went over. Full of energy.

Bruno – Admire power and strength. If arm is slightly out of place looks more odd.

Craig – Little bit awkward due to free arm. Energy and performance absolutely ultimate.

8, 9, 8,8 (7)

Caroline and Pasha

Quickstep

We Go Together – Grease

scd 14 caroline 4

Good begin keeping bubbly feel. Good around hops in hold. Great feet but rushed slightly almost causing strong slip over. Recover from wobble well. Using floor vividly. Leg ups at end on one foot cheeky.

Len – Lovely. Couple of little moments. Energy terrific. For me best dance tonight.

Bruno – Was going so well. Put foot at angle. Another incident on other side. So hard to do.

Craig – Shame about incident. Lost balance at end. Thought it was gor-h-g-h-ous darling.

Darcey – Cheeky quickstep. Fantastic.

8, 8, 9, 8 (8)

Best dance of the night

(For the second week in a row)

Caroline and Pasha

Danger zone

Steve, Tim and Scott

IMAGES

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 3: Movie Week

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 3: Movie Week

Tonight the second elimination week begins on Strictly. As ever the judges scores from Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussel, guest Donny Osmond, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli are given to the performances with ours in brackets.

DONNY O 2

There’s a new judge in town! No, not FalseFabs, BBC were too useless to spot a great opportunity, but Donny Osmond instead. Osmond, popular for his singing family career, will join the judges as a guest judge tonight. To make matters worse, its a themed ‘Movie Week.’ Expect some Cuban Pete boots tonight? Definitely expect idiotic song choices based on the celeb’s ‘personalities.’ Chance will be a fine thing. This is getting as bad as X Factor now. Therefore, job failed.

Up first this evening are ….

Alison and Aljaz

Jive

Footloose

alison 3

Tonight it’s Ali-Jazz hands. Spritey number with great kicks and exuberance. Another fair act, with middle table regions. Is doing okay with a hit and miss approach, but now requires something else to boost her up a notch. Aljaz’s feet very super fast and exposed Alison a tad, but she kept up with them very well, all the same. Enjoyable, but missing some bits here and there. Tough dance to command.

4, 5 , 7, 6, 6 (6)

Steve and Ola

Quickstep

I wanna be like you – The Jungle Book

steve 3

Leopard skin top and a swing on a Jungle vine. Boyish. Juvenile. Awkward and stiff. Unrelaxed. Steve cannot find his place.

Bruno – Difficult footwork and only three mistakes.

No time for Len’s comment.

6, 7, 6, 7, 8  (5)

Jennifer and Tristan

Foxtrot

Mamma Mia – ABBA

jenifer 3

Doesn’t look relaxed at all. Was fair for second elimination dance but needs to improve drastically in future. Too stiff and awkward in concentration of the steps than doing the dance. Singing along to tune to help might relax her routine but routine suffered as result.

Craig – Haphazzard and all over the place.

Donny – Nice and safe.

3, 5, 5, 5, 5 (5)

Simon and Kristina

Rumba

Take My Breath Away – Berlin

simon 3

Simon takes his glasses off as he stares at camera. Silly girls woo with love over no start. Lame audience. Kristina arrives in white shirt and open body portion frills. The dance became no frills with slow and empty dance, watered down. No feel of romance involved. No love or connect between pair. Nothing in there.

Darcey – In constant pursuit of Kristina all way through, just beautiful. Wanted that to carry through. Broken up a little too much.

Donny – All about the hips. Make them work a little bit more. When Kristina went down and grabbed your thighs! Ohhh!

Len – You have got so much as a dancer. Your thinking about whats coming next. You lose few leads early own. Good line, nice feeling. Could have more hip action. Look at what your doing, come back something else.

Bruno – I’m gonna be tough on you. I want the hips to do the talking. Have to go behind the meaning of the word.

Craig – Didn’t really see any hips to be frank. Cold of passion. Only my opinion.

4, 6, 7, 6, 7 (4)

Judy and Anton

Quickstep

Don’t Rain on my Parade – Funny Girl

judy 3

Trying to get rhythm at start with hip sway. Stands on floor waiting to minor step with Anton. Walking around in hold. Feet loosely all over place. Couple of walking twirls. Little lift up spin by Anton for public cheer. Simply has not got it. No dance aptitude but will get granny votes to stay in for weeks. Illegal lift inserted. Rule breaks not allowed, either. Loss of point. Cheating is bad.

Donny – Felt a little unrehearsed to me.

Len – Judy you were fine. Anton you’ve gotta improved.

Bruno – Once you start to put a foot wrong you become rigid. Control it more. He can’t do it all for you.

Craig – One foot to remain on floor all times. So pleased you put an illegal lift in, was best part of dance. Rigormortis, darling.

Darcey – You look like a glamourous film star. Looks like you had fun.

3, 5, 5, 5, 5 (2)

Tim and Natalie

Charleston

Cabaret theme

tim 3

Very good start and move to the floor. Bit slow, but is second dance for votes. Good lindy hops from Natalie but not from Tim. Good feet togetherness but too much concentration in fast moving dance. Too many key elements missed.

Len – Not finest moment but came out and gave it a go.

Bruno – Threw all money into character and lost technique. Has to be on time. That’s all.

Craig – No amount of money darling will change what just happened. Liked stylisation, character. Into Charleston, complete and utter disaster.

Darcey – Surprisingly nimble. Lot character not a lot dance. Cleaner and more precise. Free dance, but has to have some technique.

Donny – Very charming. More like comedy routine than Charleston.

2, 5, 5, 5, 5 (4)

Tess avoids Claudia trying to feed her some comical treat with popcorn. The unexpected hilarity saw Claude throw a piece of popcorn at Tess, landing down her cleavage. Surprisingly good.

Caroline and Pasha

Rumba

I Don’t Want to miss a thing – Aerosmith

caroline 3

Pasha might be good at dancing, but leave acting to others, bud. American astronaut Pasha flaunts open chest with a flowing, draped glitzy Flack. Good beginning with decent hold together. Good spins around. Decent level of romance. Always easier for females to stand and shimmy. Still good. Could be more refined and less about the steps box ticking. Very good performance all the same. Finest dance of Flack, but fairly easy in regard.

Bruno – Steaming baby. Connection and intention. Never faultering. Almost perfect. Tiny little stumble.

Craig – Though little bit punchy. Transitions could be little bit smoother. Being picky. Loved it.

Darcey – Supported promenades. Well done.

Donny – Yeah baby! Didn’t break attitude once.

Len – For me, absolutely terrific. Needed more hip action. Very accomplished performance.

Tess – Off to the Claudeatorium. (Predictable.)

8, 8, 9, 8, 9 (8)

Scott and Joanne

Samba

Under The Sea – The Little Mermaid

scott 3

Wishy washy BS. He’s not taking this seriously. Comedy song wont win big. Cheese fest.The Hoff came to the rescue as Scott phoned him out of the blue. Hoff was out first week on the US version.

Scott plods along as a lobster in make-up to pick up Ariel Joanne. Walks around with open arms as Joanne works around him. Scott jitters long with feet as if walking down the street. Horrible shake of shoulders. Again repetitive centre facing camera, side by side, dance. Never going to get any better. Same ol’ hoorah. Empty. Wardrobe malfunction, lobster falls off for Scott.

Craig – Lobster on acid. Can’t think of any other words to describe that.

Darcey – Too flat footed. Bit ploddy. Didn’t look like a Samba.

Donny – I don’t care, I loved it. Dancing was all over the place.

Len – Something fishy about that technique. Fun, entertaining.

Bruno – The crab is off menu. Wobbly. All over the place.

2, 5, 7, 5, 6 (2)

If Donny had any credibility, it sure was ruined now.

Frankie and Kevin

Paso Doble

America – West Side Story

frankie 3

Brought to floor from prop was lift. Loss of point. Good into hold around floor. Bit all too Kevin at this point in move around. Requires both. Frankie has good skirt sways, but that’s her only main focus to cover up flaws. Not much dancing from Frankie, despite over enhanced people liking her as a personality. Timid.

Darcey – You’re on fire. Didn’t think you had it in you to be fiesty woman.

Donny – Remake? You are the perfect Maria.

Len – Best done, well done.

Bruno – Combined all correct recipes. Never lost Paso Doble style. Stance. Beautiful job.

Craig – Completely and totally agree with the panel. Absolutely dynamic. Brilliant.

8, 9, 10, 9, 9 (6)

Okay Donny, you can leave now.

Jake and Janette

Waltz

The Godfather Waltz

jake 3

Good start. Careful and smooth interactions into hold. Tone set perfectly. Captivating all eyes on pair. Made to be seamless. Great little moments of movement from Janette to seem easy. Powerful connection. Could use bit more from Jake though, as felt missing something more compared to other dances.

The BBC’s pathetic handling of its accounts for years and weeks, most noticeably its Twitter, has decided to not post pics of Jake dancing. It’s like they actually enjoy scuppering themselves for daft own make up pics. We don’t care, we’ll find another pic, but it makes BBC look ridiculous and sad. Typically it’s a young, inexperienced teen girl behind the account. Oh well.

Donny– Posture. Thought great performance.

Len – Make you offer you can’t refuse. Get sway. Waltz is a big flowing dance. Lacking. Good footwork, no mistakes.

Bruno – I like Waltz filled with darkness. Played it like an Argentine Tango. Power behind character. More flow. Loved quirky feel.

Craig – Completely with Bruno on that one. Pleased it was theatrical. Too much spring and sway would’ve taken that away.

(Len) It was a Waltz, has to have rise and fall.

Craig -I loved it.

Darcey – Incredible and deadly Waltz. So hard to control. Get into character so naturally. Shoulders, when pivot and turn, watch that.

8, 8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Interval

Tess is now front row with Denise Van Outen and (oh, again) Nick Grimshaw.

Pixie and Trent

Quickstep

Be Our Guest – Beauty and the Beast

pixie and trent

Very good start from Trent with Pixie travelling along. Pixie starts to gain flow soon after, adding to partnership. Good feet and bobbing along. High kicks. Bit too fast for feet in part, but up-kept well. End on floor decent. Very good overall, but more showy than technical. Thanks to Trent for not dressing up like a stereotypical idiotic beast costume.

Len – Was my cup of tea.

Bruno – Really captured the beasty magic.

Craig – Amount of detail is extraordinary. Loved double pirouette. Light and bright. Out of time, sadly.

Darcey – Long feet, gotta point them.

Donny – Wonderful job.

7, 9, 9, 9, 9 (7)

Nine’s? What lunacy is this?

Tess: Seven?!

Stop the caricature, luv. It’s not good to be ‘everyone’s favourites’ with no real grace or buzz to carry off.

Thom and Iveta

Charleston

New York, New York – On the Town

iveta 3

Iveta: Thom looks great as a Sailor.

Sailor Thommy Boy joins the frolics on the floor with good character and hand movements. Could be bit more sharper than throwaway, but decent enough. Good footing. Playful arm sways. Fun bench works. Great double lift up, kick extensions. Smooth and fluid arms in fast pace pick up. End on high note tilt catch lift. Fab-u-lous!

Bruno – Thom. Let’s sail away. I feel the tide is turning. Got to see personality tonight. Timing was almost good, until end, went on wrong foot. Totally believable, appropriate. Best performance yet.

Craig – Lot of difficult rhythm changes in dance. Brilliant throughout. Nice little ab workout on the bench. Very good.

Darcey – Wasn’t expecting that. Determination. Only thing distracts me is the mouth. Don’t be cute. You’re a man, dance like one.

Donny – Straighten up. Hunched shoulders, lose balance. Great performance.

Len – Week 1 got a 6. Week 2 got a seven. Week 3. Wait and see.

7, 8, 7, 8, 8 (8)

Sunetra and Brendan

American Smooth

The Way you look tonight – Swing Time

sunetra 3

Good start with arms into hold. Too long on one instance though. Good swing up legs lift. Fair character with feet together well. Great spin around lift in air showcasing gold shoes. Brendan loves cheeky lifts. Needs more focus on Sunetra as less parade to camera and more in connection with partner in dance.

Craig – Smooth and confident. Beautiful arms. Body contact. Terrific.

Darcey – Light, controlled it, glamourous.

Donny – Had a smile on my face. Smooth and silky. Little Ginger Rogers in you tonight.

Len – Style with a smile. Class and sophistication.

Bruno – Movement was great. Right amount of elegance. Have to watch underarm turn. Think about it.

7, 8, 8, 9, 8 (8)

Mark and Karen

Paso Doble

Superman theme

mark 3

We want to say something good about Karen, but we can’t seem to find it. Her choreography is very stupid, childish and pitiful. Always a ‘thing’ and not a dance. This week, it’s Supermaning a moron like Mark Wright.

“HELP!” Karen is falling off a building ledge. Mark changes in a London phone box as Karen falls to floor. Running around in a cape like a goon with a symbol on the front, Mark stands and watches Karen move around him whilst holding her to seem like he’s dancing with her. She falls around the floor. Mark in a tee-shirt and jeans again, flings Karen and nearly falls over the floor. Then he stands on the stage to be lifted up in a smoke burst. Pathetic. Strictly really is losing its edge to be more ‘X Factor’ idiocy.

Darcey – Weirdly enjoyable. Sadly not too superhero for me tonight. Only saw two pelvic… Bit odd. In hold, gapping wasn’t convincing.

Donny – I don’t care. You are Superman! I loved it.

Len – Came out full on. Gotta be aggressive. Went bit over the top.

Bruno – Tight pants or Kryptonite. Paso-nice. For some strange reason I quite liked it.

Craig – Bit stiff, lacks any sort of shaping.

6, 6, 9, 7, 7 (3)

Okay Donny, GTFO!

Strictly’s guest judge thing did not work. Was it because of Donny, or was it because of the BBC trying to show off? Either way we’ll see if another can be better or not. Should’ve been us.

Best dance of the Week?

Caroline and Pasha

Danger Zone

(In no particular order)

Tim, Judy and Scott

IMAGES

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 2

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 2

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The second week of the Strictly sequin battle is on. Tomorrow will see the very first dancing enthusiast leave the series after last week’s carried over judges votes added to the viewers votes tonight. The results will air on Sunday evening. The judges Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno are back to score as well as ours in brackets also.

 

Thom & Iveta

Salsa

Hot Hot Hot – Arrow

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Lifeguard Thom jumps down to instantly groove feet well, good shimmy rhythm. Keen but tidy keeping dance together. Nifty arm flow through spins. Hips swaying with personality. Risky one arm lift of Iveta well done. Loose moments in spins afterward. Very good spin ending strong with passion and sway.

Len – You were hopping like buttons on a tight shirt. Danced right on the edge, no playing safe. Odd little mishap. That’s the way to go.

Bruno – There is no denying your easy on the eye. Nearly blew the thermostat. All about momentum. You went for it wasn’t quite as clean and disciplined as should be.

Craig – Should be fluid. Didn’t happen. stopping and starting through. Got to keep salsa going. Lift little bit ill prepared. Very ambitious. Good to attempt. Loving the hips, darling.

Darcey – Wishing you were directing those shimmy’s to me. Like that you took risks. Fast, exciting. For tall man to be that subtle. Brilliant.

5, 7, 7, 6 (7)

Jennifer & Tristan

Waltz

Natural Woman – Aretha Franklin

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Smooth and gentle begin into hold. Tint of charisma shining through. Good spin around feet in hold. Good arm backward sway to sky. Slow but careful steps well moved through. Graceful dance for beginning series. High improvement.

Bruno – Not quite home run yet. Started to engage emotionally. Loved relationship there (with Tritian. Technique let you down. Stepping in the right way.

Craig – Posture at beginning showing some sign of promise. All went to pot. Lot of gaping. Arms need sorting out if your going to way them above. Not look at the floor.

Darcey – Some much more improvement. Cleaner. Still nerves there. You are getting there.

Len – Nerves got to you. Messed up, come out well. Just enjoy it.

4, 5, 5, 5 (5)

 

Simon & Kristina

Tango

Sing – Ed Sheeran

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Arms at start bit cheap and simple. Slow get into hold. Decent turn throughs with eye contact. Awkward step away move alongs after. Trying to tick boxes causing dance to suffer better breakthrough. Good sways and sashays for first week that counts. Modern Tango with bad musicality despite popular song.

Craig – Didn’t set the world on fire. Sharp staccato moves. Out of time at beginning.

Darcey – So much dace content. Odd moment, did lose confidence. Keep the character within the dance.

Len – On pivots right leg goes straight. Peculiar moment. Overall, well done.

Bruno – Efficient, cool, clinical approach. Wanna see that animal magnetism coming out. Got do these steps right, Not just sequence of steps.

5, 7, 7, 7 (5)

 

Gregg & Aliona

Charleston

Hey Good Lookin’ – Ray Charles

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Aliona whips the cream on cake suggestively, before Gregg grabs in hold. Trot on the spot moments. Big Aliona kick only. Gregg alone on spot again with no movement. Very watered down rhythm wise. Aliona chases cake holder Gregg, who places on judges desk and dips face into.

Darcey – Lovely to see you got rid of nerves. Watch your direction.. Choose direction your kicking. Did actually see some dancing.

Len – You dance like I cook. Chuck it all in and hope for the best. Enjoy yourself.

Bruno – Lovely fluffy eclair.

Craig – No swivel whatsoever on supporting leg. Some sort of out of body experience. Possess double hop.

3, 5, 5, 5 (1)

 

Alison & Aljaz

Foxtrot

I Just Wanna Make Love to You – Etta James

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Executive business woman (in character) Alison shows good swivel with frame. Jazz hands thrown in. Minimal travel along with Aljaz but still carefully held together. Push back of Aljaz technically a jump off ground to a lift. Slow tilt backs. Alsion catches overworked Aljaz in hold cuddle back. Great potential.

Len – Your trump card is latin American. Once into hold, not as refined as should be. Great entertainment.

Bruno – Foxtrot requires very smooth flow. Got to work on that in Ballroom. Got the personality.

Craig – Thought attitude very good. Hips swings created a solid boom.

Darcey – Could have traveled a lot more. Never going to get bored of you.

5, 5, 6, 6 (5)

 

 

Empty moment

Tess had a quick introduction sat next to Ian Beale off Eastenders and rival show X Factor’s gormless puppet Olly Murs. There was no need to show them, no chat with them and don’t tout them for the next series. Makes BBC so pathetic.

 

 

 

Jake & Janette

Salsa

Mambo No. 5 – Lou Bega

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Great start into swivel hips and groove passion. Quick, smooth and strong partnership in arm move throughs. Controlled lift back cartwheel over body of Janette. Good dip down single hand hold. Amazing limbo dancing power-play by both. Huge buzz, fantastic drive. What oomph.

Bruno – Undiluted, full on fun time!

Craig – Darling that hip action could crack coconuts.

Darcey – One of best Salsa performances I’ve seen for a long time.

Len – Spank me gently with a wet shammy. Your timing… Fantastic.

8, 9, 9, 9 (9)

 

tess claude 2

Now Strictly have decided to Open the Strictly public judges. You have to nominate someone. clearly a stolen tactic from us, but I guess thats’s the perverted BBC for you. Never changes when it has a real chance since the Paedophilic sex scandal involving child abuse with Sir Jimmy Savile among other scandals. Juvenile.

 

Judy & Anton

Cha Cha

She’s a Lady – Tom Jones

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Judy starts by hitting a tennis ball then looking around lost. Critical time lost to dance. Anton flies around the floor instead. Judy starts to move side to side in hold, then moves to a towel with Anton. Standing on spot again doing nothing and pushing Anton back along. Walks around to pick up racket again to hit another ball. Dreadful and wasteful.

Craig – Fighting the floor a little bit. Body as tight as newly strung racket. Very stiff and tense.

Darcey – Shame you went out of sync.

Len – Few foot faults here. Just like Gregg, enjoy yourself.

Bruno – More court 18 than centre court. Practise. Blank all the time.

2, 5, 5, 5 (1)

 

Caroline & Pasha

Tango

Blame – Calvin Harris feat. John Newman

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Seated Tango to a contemporary feel. Good flip rounds in hold. Almost fall on sharp back down tilt. Too bassy for middle music moment. Good turns with staccato’s. Flat in middle of song. /Not very Tango’ey now. Pasha picks up suitcase to leave. Good start, flat middle, pointless end. Stilettos and staccato, but not much else.

Darcey – Fierce. Take effort in shoulders.

Len – Full on routine. No easy bit where relax a little. Get a bit tight hera and there.

Bruno – Full of gutsy physicality. Put your full being into it. Amazing legs, luv.

Craig – Well done.

7, 7, 7, 8 (7)

 

Tim & Natalie

Waltz

When You Wish Upon a Star

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Smooth interaction into hold. Graceful and careful footing done well. Good movement around holds gliding long. Very good movement diagonally to full floor elegance. Huge improvement. Sweet and stylish.

Len – It was charming.

Bruno – Went for a different angle this week. Very endearing. Couple of mistakes. As dance progresses you deflate. Beginning very very good. Maintain that.

Craig – Started beautifully. Did use floor beautifully.

Darcey – Created right mood, right quality. Travel and glided all the way through.

5, 6, 6, 6 (6)

 

Sunetra & Brendan

Cha Cha

Million Dollar Bill – Whitney Houston

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Sunetra emerges from a globe chair to get to the floor. Good solo shimmy’s and work of the floor. Good back and forth leg working. Too flashy from Brendan leaving Sunetra isolated to fail at certain points. Good overall feel.

Bruno – Sultry Sunetra. Really enjoyed the moment. Push through your legs. Great performance.

Craig – Natural all round feel for thi dance. Good hip rotation. Problem, straightening of the legs.

(Brendan moans, again)

Darcey – One glamorous lady on that floor.

Len – What they saying Brendan is quite true. Just be better than you were the week before.

6, 6, 7, 7 (6)

 

Mark & Karen

American Smooth

I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

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Cheesy start from Mark in a jumper and jeans. First easy lift to get from corner to floor. Feet quite clumsy and gallopy. Very careless and cheap focus on character portrayal of cheese than dance. Laboured and empty. No drive, passion, style, charisma or oomph. Flat and watered down lily in garden of misfortune.

Bruno – Pleasantly surprised. Went wrong couple of times. I really enjoyed it, my darling.

Craig – Arm not connected.

(Bruno disagrees with interruption.)

Craig (continues)  – You have to work on that because it looks terrible.

Darcey – Smooth in hold.

Len – Onward and upward.

6, 7, 7, 7 (3)

 

Scott & Joanne

Tango

Stop – The Spice Girls

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How can you ever think this will be great? A Spice Girls Tango to Stop? Still in the Brother/Sister friend zone with extra cheese. Surprise. BBC get the typical lazy ‘get Nick Grimshaw on’ moment from in-house DJ’s of BBC. Systemic much?

The pair get ready in their bedroom before meeting each other. Stand on spot with no movement before stick bum out badly. More solo work from Joanne with Scott failing to do much. Walk back on feet terrible. Walk backs very empty again. One thing dance moment all way through making retitive and boredom filled. Out of depth.

Darcey – Jo has been working you hard. Keeping in character would really help. Keep eye focus going.

Len – Light and gentle. better than last week.

Bruno – Was it a dream Was it a nightmare? I don’t know. Felt a little bit weird and laboured.

Craig – Right hand way too high. Right foot pigeon toed. Probably why you tripped over. Lacked any style.

4, 5, 6, 5 (2)

Pixie & Trent

Waltz

Come Away With Me – Norah Jones

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Good tender start but too long to get in hold. Strong posture up-kept. Strong sense of direction. Good presentation and smooth swirls. Partnership seemingly perfect. Romantic end. Beautiful dance.

Len – No messing, no stressing. Lovely routine. Gorgeous.

Bruno – Princess Pixie. Strictly devine.

Craig – Does make a fantastic partnership. Beautiful dance.

Darcey – One beautiful performance.

 

8, 9, 9, 9 (8)

 

Steve & Ola

Cha Cha

Treasure  – Bruno Mars

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Slow waiting for Ola at treasure chest. Loose hands. Awkward dad danceing moments with side to side elbowing. Dip down of Ola decent. Very slow walk around of Ola before penis bumping her to the floor in another over-sexualised moment by BBC by the BBC children’s presenter. Weak ending. Not fun, more goofy.

Bruno – Footwork was bit muddy.

Craig – Like being in some terrible disco in Soho, darling. Jumped Ola and threw her. Hips made of MDF.

Darcey – Working very hard at extending those arms.

Len – Wrapped up in the moment.

3, 6, 6, 6 (3)

 

Frankie & Kevin

Charleston

Happy Days – Norman Gimble and Charles Fox

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Strong start and happy arms. Good partnership and strong synchronicity. Good central kick out spins. Cheeky aeroplaning fun moments. Bubbly fun and good grooving.

Craig – Jive and Charleston fusion bit out. Worked brilliantly. Dont have any swivel whatsoever. Little bit more goofy and quirky. Good job.

Darcey – Terrific. Weird mix, I like that. High energy.

Len – Awkward because had Rock ‘n; Rolly feel. Bit funny in lift. Next week is movie night. Frankie Goes to Hollywood,

Bruno – Took a great twist. You early dropped her, not your fault. I really enjoyed it.

7, 7, 8, 8 (7)

 

Best dance of the week?

Jake and Janette

 

Danger Zone

Who is the most likely after tonight’s performances to be booted out from the public? We’ll give three (in no order) who could be in trouble of the danger zone.

Judy, Gregg and Scott

IMAGES

BBC

STRICTLY COME DANCING 2014: WEEK 1, PART 2

Strictly Come Dancing 2014:

Week 1, Part 2

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Spread over two nights, the second evening would continue the introduction to the dancefloor competition.

Hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman begin the glitzy Saturday evening drama.

The judges, Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli are back to score the dances. Our score is in brackets as well to add clarity to the sometimes biased or disillusioned scoring in the past.

Mark Wright and Karen Hauer

Cha Cha

I’m Your Man – Wham!

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Failed TV prospect Mark Wright, whose constant on-off relationship with partner and TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) girlfriend Lauren Goodger dominated their ‘showmance’ tactics to become a celebrity. Now engaged to one of soap opera’s finest babes, Michelle Keegan, bell-end Mark plans to dazzle with his goofy ganshers and good looks. (So he thinks.) He even signed Goodger, who earlier last month went on Celebrity Big Brother, into a non-disclosure contract of their relationship. What has this (already known on TV) cheating scumbag got to hide?

Slimy and cheesy start with lack of interest in arms. Routine doing lots of ‘ticking boxes’ with no enthusiasm and for the sake of it. Tacky lift. Stumble on back heels. Focused on showing off and did a sad caterpillar. Empty and full of nothing.

Len – It started off very encouraging. Went a little bit quick. (Crowd boo) It’s the truth. Stuck in silly handstand. Bit daft. Fantastic potential. Calm down. Keep on time.

Bruno – Energy overrode finesse of steps. Control energy.

Craig – Stilted. Hands very flat. Shoulder front over the top. Arms dodgy all way through. Did love the caterpillar.

Darcey – Loved the showman. You’re gonna go far.

5, 7, 6, 6 (2)

Alison Hammond and Aljaz Skorjanec

Cha Cha

I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan

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The big girl with a bubbly attitude has landed last year’s winner Aljaz Skorjanec. Filled with fun and joy can Hammond show diversity on the dancefloor after the fun and frolics are over? This however, was meant to be The Bodyguard/Whitney Houston version.

Strong start getting into groove. Good passion, great enthusiasm. Good partnership. Good body closeness. Bit tiring in middle on steps. Strong through lift drop finish from Alison.

Bruno – Viva La Diva! Got the moves. Uplifting radiance. For the future, try go on the balls little bit more.

Craig – One of most confident performances for first time. Little bit flat footed. Instinctive gift for rhytm and dance. Joyous experience.

Darcey – Infectious. Polish that footwork.

Len – My type of girl. Big, bold and bouncy.

6, 6, 7, 7 (7)

Steve Backshall and Ola Jordan

Tango

Born to be Wild – Steppenwolf

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After her vocal neglect towards the show that made her a star after her equally abusive husband James Jordan, who admitted he was too old for dancing now, was sacked by the show months ago. Ola who is likely to go next because she is past her prime, has added she might quit instead. Doors over there, luv. Ungracious and gobby Ola, known by some as ‘Dolly’ Jordan for her legs only, will be judged accordingly on her performance and nothing else. Whether she takes it personally is her own attitude she needs to review. Her partner for this series is the BBC’s in-house zoologist Steve Backshall, who goes on crazy missions with marine life to see how scary they can be. Thrilling.

Starting seated on a bike for no reason, Steve then did a flip over it to get to the floor. Loose into hold. Lost and dazed on spin around begin. Waiting for Ola to lead. Not very fierce in sharp arm movements. Trying too hard to be tough. Musicality didn’t suit routine. Ends with Ola lifting leg up on floor as Steve holds arm up. Pitiful.

Craig – Muscles for me were a slight distraction. Didn’t point feet. Lost frame slightly.

Darcey – Definitely your dance. You’re a strong man. Couldn’t take my eyes off your arms.

Len – Not quite a triaumph. All about expectations. Clean and crisp. Lost your frame.

Bruno – So difficult leading the dance, you did very well. You got great qualities.

6, 6, 7, 7 (4)

Jennifer Gibney and Tristan MacManus

Jive

Happy – Pharrell Williams

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New Irish fancy Tristan MacManus partners with Mrs. Brown’s Boys sitcom actress Jennifer Gibney. A popular favourite, can Jennifer enjoy and dazzle at the same time?

Fluid, compact beginning onto the floor. Bit lost in part, minor. Good little riverdance, despite a lift technically. Good back leg tilts sways. Fair little number for starting dance with grueling, physical dance.

Darcey – Such a difficult dance. So much energy, you gave it.

Len – Kicks and flicks could have been tad sharper. As song said, I was happy. Got through it with spirit and verve.

Bruno – All the steps he gave you, they were there. You did it. Bit more presentation.

Craig – Arms were all over the place. Got to be aware of free arm. Little hunch of back. Build stamina a little bit more.

3, 5, 5, 5 (4)

 Thom Evans and Iveta Lukosiute

Waltz

You Raise Me Up – Westlife

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Rugby hunk and model Thom Evans has joined the sequined starlight with exceptional dancer Iveta Lukosiute. After pairing up three weeks ago and revealing they had fallen for each other genuinely as singles the pair were “smitten” with one another. Will the pair be able to become Strictly’s top acts? They both certainly have the capability to go the distance. Can their dancing do the talking?

Resplendent beginning of fluid serenity. Tender and charismatic turn steps. Bit flimsy on walking outward. Good rotations. Strong poise. Clear to see concnetration makinga little stiff. Very delightful effervescent ending. Quite magical.

Len – Frame good. Little mistake. Atempted to do footwork well, which I appreciate.

Bruno – So kind, caring. Treating her like she was made of glass. Almost moving. More impotence, more drive. More sexy. Come on.

Craig – Man’s job to keep lady on balance. Feel you overbalanced her. Not impressed with your thumbs at all. I did love it.

Darcey – Was expecting you to lead the ballroom. Open those shoulders and stick those pecs out.

5, 6, 6, 6 (7)

Sunetra Sarker and Brendan Cole

Tango

Bad case of loving you (Doctor Doctor) – Robert Palmer

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Bad boy and nuisance dancer Brendan Cole, who constantly rubs producers and judges up the wrong way by taking personal critique failing to see failures on the floor, often ruins any partners’ chances. Sunetra, who is in the BBC’s drama show Casualty, took the stereotypical Doctor song. She was also a nurse in Channel 4’s No Angels show, years ago, when Channel 4 used to be an excellent channel now marred by political disgrace.

Good connection and connectivity from Sunetra. Very slow thereafter. Walk around turns devoid of interest. Weird head to head swirls. End on patient bed. Was not any instance a Tango. Too Timid.

Bruno – Firecracker of a Tango. A little bit wobbly. Control your assets. Great promise.

Craig – Great sense of rhythm. Frame is what its all about and you just did’t have it, sadly.

(Brendan mouths off again.)

Darcey – Kept energy from beginning till the end.

Len – Felt there was far more right than wrong. Back next week.  Look forward to seeing ya.

5, 6, 6, 7 (5)

Gregg Wallace and Aliona Vilani

Cha Cha

Hot ‘n’ Cold – Katy Perry

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Masterchef judge Gregg Wallace has accepted going “into their world” and expecting critique from the dancing world. At least he is trying to take it on the chin. In the past Wallace has dished out a good portion of negative comments for Craig Revel-Horwood. Saucer of milk, table two please! Unfortunately for Gregg he was lumbered with the vile Aliona Vilani, who also showed her homophobic side last year with Kristina Rihanoff over Julien MacDonald enjoying being part of the show. Vilani vocalised her disappointment with Gregg. She was first out last year after disgruntled spats backstage. Producers kept her around this year to give her another chance. She should have gone two series ago. Both will be judged accordingly.

Once again Aliona makes it all about herself in a solo act to camera. Left alone, Gregg tried to dance with connection but filed as a result. Finger pointing and legs apart walking very cack-handed like John Wayne. Spins by Aliona only for self interest. Lack of connection with partner. Stiff dance by Gregg.

Craig – Sub zero darling. I’m going to be nice and tell you the truth. Like a wind up toy out there. Very camp. Iron that out, Aliona. You should have seen that in the mirror. Hope that you get better.

Darcey –  I weirdly liked that.

Len – Bit small, neat and dainty. Practice so hard, forget the flair. Give it some grrrr.

Bruno – Brings me to mind a mince pie with a soggy bottom.

3, 5, 5, 5 (2)

Frankie Bridge and Kevin Clifton

Waltz

Someone Like You – Adele

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Singer of girl group The Saturday’s Frankie Bridge steps onto the floor with Kevin this year. After a highly successful debut last year, Clifton stormed to success with newscaster Susanna Reid. Can the pair achieve greater success?

Solo start with arms okay but too long alone. Good back arm tilt drop of umbrella. Good but way too slow moving along in hold. Good steps with minor stumble. Ticked the boxes but very dry. It’s bad luck to open an umbrella indoors. Decent and beautiful but timid and empty in places.

Darcey – Major hit. Beautiful feeling throughout the dance.  A joy to watch.

Len – Without a doubt, best dance of week one.

Bruno – Full extension, you’ve done it.

Craig – Like to see heavier heel. Graceful, romantic. Well done.

7, 7, 8, 8 (6)

Simon Webbe and Kristina Rihanoff

Jive

Good Golly, Miss Molly – Little Richard

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This year, Strictly’s promiscuous maneater Kristina Rihanoff was banned from married partners. Last year Rihanoff, who showed her homophobic side with Vilani, paired lovable rugby activist Ben Cohen. Ben, a so called ‘gay icon’ who worked with foundations to tackle homophobia, was seen with Rihanoff prior to week’s leading to the show over the last month. Since his split from his wife, Cohen was seen beforehand in public with Rihanoff in romantic poses and took off his wedding ring as well. He placed it back on afterward when it broke with the media. Rihanoff has also slept with and romanced whilst on the show, in her job, unprofessionally, with dancer Vincent Simone and boxing partner Joe Calzaghe. None of her relationships have lasted. Why she is still employed makes the BBC an entire joke. Though she will be judged accordingly, can she and Simon work together and focus to make magic on the floor?

Playing the piano up Kristina’s legs not thrilling. Stand on spot moves then slide through legs. Comedy moments adding nothing to dance routine. Spin around on one leg lift not technical. Double dip down hand touch fair. Lame ending missing spark.

Len – Plenty of kicks, flicks. Just came out and danced. Well done.

Bruno – Like a frisky bunny. Loved rockk ‘n’ roll feel.

Craig – Flat footed. Little more retration on kicks.

Darcey – I liked it a lot. Could see you getting a bit tired.

6, 7, 7, 7 (5)

Best dance of Week 1?

Jake and Janette.

Hostess with the mostest

The new line-up of Tess and Claude is a workable and fair decision. It is also too quick to judge before it began as some critics did so. So far, both have had good chemistry together and made the show watchable by bouncing off one another’s dialogue.

Flaky VT’s

The problem is the VT over-animated questions, catchphrases and stereotyped lunacy. Stop the puns and make it great again. Exec producer Louise Rainbow has come from a ‘watered down background of Realtiy TV’ opting for a bubblegum pop approach than a professional one. I can take over at any time if you wish, BBC. It simply isn’t good enough. But it may just be about demographics. She’s a woman, of certain age and that’s a rarity that the BBC have been criticised for. Hiring the wrong people for the sake of it, however, makes the show a laughing stock instead. Many see the show as an ‘over-sexed’ all woman run, who fancy a bit of sexy blokes they can never get idea. Good way to ‘put women back in the kitchen’ rhetoric.

Fifth Judge

Rumour has it, and has been revealed, that there will be a fifth judge, but vague details were given. Donny Osmond is expected to fill the role as a ‘Guest Judge’ which will see a new one each week. Sounds a bit unstable to us, but BBC have often rushed certain parts of the show, which make it good and bad. If they thought things through with the correct public advisers than simple ‘fans from X-Factor’ who add pantomime boos at every turn for the sake of nonsense, they could really boost their ratings with a respected outlook. Here we sit, and there BBC fail.

Who to let go?

Aliona, Kristina, Brendan. Ola.  Possibly Pasha.

IMAGES

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2014: Week 1, Part 1

Strictly Come Dancing 2014:

Week 1, Part 1

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Strictly Come Dancing returned for its glitzy new series. After its legendary host Sir Bruce Forsyth choose to retire from the hosting event only hosting at specials and charity versions of the show instead, he handed the reigns to a new presenter.

Joining leading lady Tess Daly is the smoothly charismatic Claudia Winkleman. Dry, different and contrasting, Claude adds a new touch to the precedings. Can it survive on a two lady presenting format? Time will tell, however there have been some critics of the same sex duo formation.

Beginning the show is the first set of celebrity dancing stars over Friday and Saturday. Votes will be carried over to the next weekend after this formal introduction to the dancefloor for the unwitting celeb trotters.

Strictly Come Dancing 2014

The four wide eyed judges are back and will score the shows tonight and tomorrow, which will roll over to the next week, where eliminations begin. Judging once again are Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our score will also be given in brackets.

 

Caroline Flack & Pasha Kovalev

Cha Cha

Can You Feel It? – Jackson Five

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Man-eating unprofessional minx Caroline Flack used to present SCD’s rival show, The X Factor‘s sister show, Xtra Factor. She also slept with some of the guys from the show, including One Direction’s teen star Harry Styles.  Now she’s with Pasha, who is in a relationship with last year’s partner Rachel Riley.

Decent start with arms and movement. Good back shoulder shimmy. Bit sexual with groin thrusts. Little lost in spin partner return. Not bad overall but slow, on the spot introduction to dance. Good opener.

The fantastic Dave Arch Orchestra received a warm introduction too.

The Judges had their say.

Len – One little mistake. Sweet Caroline. Terrific.

Bruno – It’s Caroline FLASH! I felt something. Great debut, Bit more hips, but very promising.

Craig – Very good musicality. Fantastic groove. Bit more hip action. Something changed after you came up here. All went a bit wrong, still, fantastic job, darling.

Darcey– Those legs pretty good in a Cha Cha. Well done.

Judges scores –  6, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Tim Wonnacott & Natalie Lowe

Cha Cha

Shop Around – Captain & Tennille

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Setback with injury just before live shows last year, Natalie Lowe was ready to step up again. This year she was given antiques expert Tim Wonnacott. At 61, Tim is actually looking quite decent on paper as a lively trier, but is it enough?

Concentration of foot steps good but causing posture problems looking somewhat stiff. Good drop down spin of Nat. Good personality shining through but seemed a bit old fashioned. Must make it more modern to survive extra weeks. Was still a great fun filled foot thrill.

Bruno – Appreciate your sense of confidence. Technique is difficult to define. Needs a little bit of work. I really enjoyed it.. I’m crazy. so you know…

Craig – Stiff of hip. Knees bent throughout. Be aware of free arm. Not very good start.

Darcey – Dance is about being entertaining. So entertaining. Cheelly, fun and surpsingly, umm… entertaining.

Len – Mustn’t step forward on you heel in the Cha Cha Cha. Full on with personality and gave it everything. Well done to you.

 3, 5, 5, 5 (4)

Jake Wood & Janette Manrara

Tango

Toxic – Britany Spears

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Surprise pairing Jake and Janette looked like a great couple with enthusiasm. Dazzling in her debut last year, Janette took to the floor with Jake. Would the skill match the partnership? Jake wanted a parter with “No nonsense.” Janette added ” I dont liek to fluff around.”

Timid start with theatrics. Good in hold spins. Tight body connectivity. Smooth diagonal sways. Good finish. Very pleasant overall for first week.

Craig – Well, I’m impressed, actually. Took control. Full of intent, purpose, one to watch.

Darcey – It was cool. Looked so comfortable in that Tango.

Len – That was far better than expected. Great body contact. Had spirit. Thought it was terrific.

Bruno – Tough, strong. Would like to see your softer side as well.

7, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Judy Murray & Anton DuBeke

Waltz

Mull of Kintyre – Wings

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Up next is celebrity Judy Murray. Who? You know her. Not seen on any television show, drama or media. Though her son, Andy Murray is a tennis player and Judy gave him some coaching tips. So, ‘Tennis coach’ Judy is with us this evening/series. Anton DuBeke doing his traditional role of Samaritan in Help The Aged. Since the Scottish referendum, Judy and Anton got into tartan clothing with Anton in a kilt.

Good spin round, held by Anton. Man on bagpipes gets a clap taking away from dance. Slow, empty steps as Anton talks to Judy. Lost and labored now. Awkward turn around. Easy spin around again. Walks over to rock to sit on. Will no doubt get sympathy votes from the grannies for a few weeks.

Darcey – The Waltz is about moving effortlessly. Nerves were coming through. Bit edgy. You shook a little bit all way through.

Len – (Jokes about Anton’s kilt raised) Footwork Mull of Posture more Mull of katorny. Its only a witticism. Don’t start all that. (To crowd) Don’t worry Murray, Cha Cha next week.

Bruno – You look absolutely beautiful. New experience, got the taste, enjoy, next week be better.

Craig – Was on edge of my seat. Dragging Judy around a little bit. Arms out of hold need serious attention. Posture is really appalling. You came out and gave it ago though. Well done on that.

3, 4, 6, 5 (3)

Scott Mills & Joanne Clifton

Cha Cha

Rock DJ – Robbie Williams

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Stereotypical DJ Scott Mills danced to a trade specialty. Being a DJ, it was only natural. Did it rock? Paired with a new dancer on the show, also the sister of Kevin, Joanne Clifton adds enthusiasm. Robbie is also Scott’s friend! Whatever.

Robotic symphony with cheap and empty arm movements. Horrible feet starting. Clumpy. Sneaky Jump up lift unnecessary. Easy spin around of Joanne. Slow on the spot turns from Scott. Through legs slide of Joanne set up by herself. Great start from Joanne, but terrible for Mills.

Len – Scott, listen. Footwork poor. Little hip action. Cha Cha is about ryhtym and fun. (Oh gawd. ) as silly crowd boo as pantomime.

Bruno – Got the club vibe going. Robotic, neurotic, the euphoric. Vibe was there. Didn’t travel down to the feet. Ryhtymicality of the timing.

Craig – A zimmerframe darling has more movement. Stompy. Like having a tantrum. Dont think its going to be a dance for you, quite frankly.

Darcey – Maybe on a nightclub, not a ballroom.

2, 4, 5, 5 (2)

Pixie Lott & Trent Whiddon

Jive

Shake It Off – Taylor Swift

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Starting the show was young singer Pixie Lott and a new Strictly professional Australian Trent Whiddon. The blonde duo began by travelling to London Fashion Week.

Good spritey beginning but loose tittering around. Looks like both are dancing two different dances. Very watered down. Good spin around on floor. Too amateurish and juvenile even if it is week one.

Bruno – Loving the sixties look. Like Lolita does the jive. Work on sharpness.

Craig – Really enjoyed that. Timing great, energy. Working floor too hard. Slight hesitation in center there. Something odd. It was great.

Darcey – Armography great. Could have sold it bit more to me.

Len – Lot of energy, kicks and flicks, content. Lots of marks.

7, 6, 7, 7 (6)

The show continues tomorrow, where the rest will dance. We will also give our view on all things Strictly.

Sin Bin

Injured dancer Robin Windsor was removed from the line-up as a result and gave Trent a starring role.

Mr. Chicken Fillets Artem Chigvinstev left the show after a visa application expired in the UK. He has since been snapped up by the US version of the show, Dancing with the Stars.

Anya Garnis. who joined last year has also left the show.

Tomorrow’s show will feature the other nine celebrities, Thom Evans, Simon Webbe, Mark Wright, Gregg Wallace, Steve Backshall, Frankie Bridge, Alison Hammond, Sunetra Sarker and Jennifer Gibney.

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Strictly Come Dancing, 2013, Week 9 Results

Strictly Come Dancing, Week 9 Results

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Strictly opens with Bruno and Craig “baking a cake” as the professional dancers enter a sweet, fluffy candy blast, complete with Artem, Aljaz and Kevin baking in oven mitts. James and Anton wheel on the cake as out pops Tory baker Mary Berry. (She wouldn’t let a black female win the baking contest in BBC’s Great British Bake Off.) There were also no tips from Chancellor George Osborne on how to bake a cake.

Tess and Claude pop on with a muffin and full bake get up on Claudia. After pretending to eat the cupcake with no bite made and a recap of the backstage goss (which hasn’t been shown this properly for nine weeks!) the results are revealed.

The first couple saved into next week, in no particular order is Natalie and Artem. Also going through is Ashley and Ola and Susanna and Kevin. The first couple facing the dance off is Mark and Iveta.

Il Divo

*Unspecified song by BBC and Media*

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Opening with a string Orchestra the suited quartet of dapper chaps belted a powerful emphasis of classical sound upon Strictly. It was a first class performance as is often the case of Il Divo and their outstanding falsettos.

Len’s Lens

Down the lens we go. Mark was under scrutiny as Len give a masterclass of standing sway for extra tips.  Darcey commented on Ben and Kristina. We saw Ben in slow motion flexing his muscles once again. That’s his only selling point, like, ever. “Like someone having a draw string in his back” Craig said of Ashley dancing. Darcey spoke again as Bruno pulled faces. Bruno’s 10 mark handed to Natalie was discussed.” We want the dancing to be spectacular and I will NOT give a ten until absolutely perfect.” Craig responds as Len nods in agreement as the contest gets serious.

The votes are back in as we discover who else is joining week 10. Going through is Patrick and Anya and Abbey and Aljaz. The second couple dancing again is Ben and Kristina, leaving Sophie and Brendan to sail through to the next week.

“I think I’ve been on borrowed time” Ben adds after receiving some tips from Bruno for the danceoff.

The dance off

Mark and Iveta

Foxtrot

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Still a little slow but now making full use of the floor in a good use of steps and sway.

Ben and Kristina

Charleston

Strictly Come Dancing

Ben’s muscles and weight flexing become the selling point again. Smiley Ben’s steps are rather kak-handed despite effort, has no rhythm.

The Judges Vote

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It’s a tense vote of equal tension.

Craig begins – Both made mistakes but I’d like to save Ben and Kristina.

Darcey – Couple I would like to save based on tonight’s performance is Mark and Iveta.

Bruno – Both endearing. Mistakes very obvious so I have to save Mark and Iveta.

Len – Did both go wrong, one small mistake, other two blatant. On this performance I have to save Mark and Iveta.

Been a great experience. Don’t get to dress like this everyday. Kristina’s been great.

Make me so proud. Had most rewarding time as Rihanoff wells up.

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Pants. Ben poses in white briefs for fans.

We’ve got nothing against Big Ben, but the media hypocrisy from the BBC with the levels of over-sexualisation branding people, especially the gay community, something he says he works in, as dirty and objectified as leering predators as his only selling point is not supportive to his cause. It leaves many to be ‘left out’ or misrepresented and the only gay community work Ben has done is posed for a calendar and be ‘gay friendly’ supporting equal rights. This is fine, but do not pledge you do so much when you do minimal and only strip off then say a couple of words. This is the unheard voices of the gay community to which we have strong links, as with many other community sources. His skills at dancing were often over-hyped and caused daft comments. If Ben ever wants a chat, our door is open. Of course, mainstream media will pounce in the only way they know how which adds nothing to your causes. Ben wants to participate in next year’s gay games. No doubt there will be a 2014 calendar, too. For now, that is all.

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