Celeb Big Brother Summer Final Results

Final six booted out from TV house to reality once more.

Winner Chosen.

Tonight the live final of Celebrity Big Brother’s Summer edition is about to end.

The final six housemates, Reality TV stars Dee Kelly, George Gilbey, singer Edele Lynch, Hollywood star Garry Busey, dancer James Jordan and boxer Audley Harrison all became evicted in order to the public votes.

The first two to be evicted would again leave together, voted for singularly.

First out and the eighth housemate to leave the show was Edele. Edele didn’t have much to say. She praised James.


The ninth housemate was Dee. She didn’t rest her nitpicking on Gary, looking very bitter since their dispute. Dee was on “Team Audley” and threatened to “give David Cameron a run for his money” should he continue victimising her over benefit mistakes on the government’s part.

dee kelly

Finishing tenth was George. George who quickly moved on to Edele when Stephanie Pratt left just hours last week was discussed. George said she broke up with him in the house. George had brief infatuations with Lauren before she moved back to Ricci. Naive George also praised gameplayer James in hopes to derail front runner Gary and Audley. George said he and James got on because they were playfully “mischievous.” Though he admitted James “did stir” situations.

george gib

James left in eleventh place. Emma Willis made a complete fool of herself licking the producers’ backside by saying James deserved to be in the final three. James said he deserved to be spoken to a certain way. “If someone is rude or obnoxious or not nice I will pick them up on it. James, who chose to verbally insult everyone unprovoked with personal insults. James though “it’s humour” in his warped shell of egotism. He defended it as banter. This was not banter and was vile abuse. James said if they couldn’t take it then “Fu*k ’em!” James who consistently thought he was above everyone continued chopping down Audley, Gary and Lauren.  He said “I know how Big Brother works.” James, who was sacked from rival broadcaster BBC for being nasty, rubbish and self-centered is rumoured, unconfirmed but wide in certain journalistic circles, to have had an affair with a recent Strictly blonde partner. James, who has been considered to have inner bi-sexual tendencies scared to express publicly failed to prance his way to the top of the game. Homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic antagoniser James called himself “the Brad Pitt of Ballroom”


Runner up and twelfth in the show was Audley. He discussed his arguments with James, who enjoyed winding up Audley. Audley said over James calculated attacks on various housemates “If your not having fun and hurting someone, fine. If your hurting someone, I have a problem with that. You’ve got to be responsible.” Refined gentleman Audley was respectful of his relationship with Gary.

audley cool

The winner of this years Celebrity show was Gary Busey. Gary became the first American Celebrity to win Big Brother. Gary called it an honour to be among the “pride and love. And I know why the word Great is in front of Britain” over his stay in the house. Talking of his win he said it was “Because of the respect from this country.” He added the experience explained more about himself allowing him to work on his differences in a positive light. Humbled Hollywood veteran Busey was thrilled to have joined the show and the respect from the Great British public.

gary busey star

Did the right winner get crowned?

The first to be evicted tonight should have been catty and personal insult slinger James Jordan. The washed up ex dancer, sacked from his own profession on national television has been viciously attacking housemates verbally beyond the point of his defense of ‘fun.’ A bully is classed as someone who goes beyond insulting someone for a point and turns it into their level of personal fun in the instances James displayed in the house. The show was classed as rigged to keep James in for ‘entertainment value’ or phone votes and ratings as its known, by fans and insiders.

Next out should have been Dee Kelly (which she was). Whilst she has been wrongly categorised as a benefits scrounger which were lies, Dee kept her reputation in good stead. Until she launched a vicious tirade on Gary Busey, claiming to be a victim when Gary had done nothing wrong and tried to communicate with her. Unprepared to back down and headstrong, Dee, who only apologised because she thought one would come back, which is not apologetic, proved she is capable of following ob mentality in the house to survive with social grouping. This was her downfall. She then suggested she was “the British public” which unlike FalseFabs who are in tune with public attitude and values, Dee and her aggressive behaviour was not. Let’s get some clarity though, just because she was made into a celebrity from clampdowns on evil benefit cuts from David Cameron and Co. does not mean all benefit claimants are bad, and neither is Dee, ultimately.

The next star to leave should be Edele. Simply for the fact that most of her time was silent, then boring, then non-existent, then a minor moment and then joining the pack in the traditional attacks on Gary because everyone else does and an outlet for her anger was to use the easy option. In terms of entertainment this should have been her farthest road.

Following next should be George Gilbey. He is a fun and lively chappie but once we get past the cheeky monkey and boyish five year old love in, he hasn’t done too much, occasionally gets involved with others were not necessary and can’t hold an argument on his terms. He looks and sounds very childish despite trying to interact and use big words to fit in with bigger celebs. Part of his self can be respected, but this is as much as he should go. You can only be a laugh for so long.

Runner up could have been either, but we would select Audley. He has been composed, caring, considerate and a gentleman. Though this doesn’t alway resonate with viewers wanting to see people tear one another apart as a mob mentality crowd. Audley adds a level of clarity and perspective that holds real and manly values, not boyish charm or idiotic lunacy for television ratings.

The winner should be Gary. He has done enough to be a star in the house, has fascinating stories to tell and wont be spoken down to whilst keeping a dignified and controlled conversation rather than shouting for attention. Regardless of being the first American to come close to winning, he hasn’t been the typical American fame hogger and conniving gameplayer. He has also been a pleasure to watch and learn from for many.

So this wraps up the Summer Celeb edition. The show will return, as usual, in January with another Celeb version. The regular version will be back too later. Channel 5 executive producer has also left the programme after a couple of years, as well as endorsing principals defined and suggested by us. Well Dickie Desmond, are you wise enough to figure out how to make it a success? Or are you blindly too proud you’ll mess up your own show and profile once again? Look at the contact tab for more information.



Daily Mail

Channel 5

UK Celeb Yahoo

Celebrity Big Brother UK 2014 6 and 7 evictions are…

Double eviction before the final begins

Celebrity Big Brother - Summer 2014

After a break from Friday’s eviction on the home straight Celebrity Big Brother tonight hosted the final evictions before the end of the series on Friday.

Facing a double eviction this evening are all remaining eight housemates boxer Audley Harrison, dancer James 

Jordan, Reality TV stars Deirdre Kelly (Dee), Ricci Guarannacio, George Gilbey and Lauren Goodger, Hollywood actor Gary Busey and singer 

Edele Lynch.

First to be evicted and the sixth housemate to leave was Ricci.


ricci g


The seventh to leave was Lauren.


lauren g


Both left the house together as a pair, voted out individually, sharing an eviction.

Ironically, the pair, who were both from the TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) and Geordie Shore fakery shows, were also accused of a trying for a showmance in the house, as bother were booted out together.

In their eviction interviews Ricci insinuated Audley was playing games as Lauren disagreed. Ricci who did noting in the house for three weeks, except blend in with the wallpaper, asked Lauren for a relationship, failing to understand her softened, rejective answer of no.

Lauren said she felt awkward and pressured about it. She felt unattracted to Ricci. Many fans accused her of ‘stringing him along’ as others felt was cleverly set up for blame from Ricci, who wanted but failed to receive interest. Lauren said in the house she was more interested in George than Ricci and felt she was “honest” to Ricci from the beginning.

Both were heavily booed by the audience, with Ricci receiving the most.

Deluded muppet Ricci said James was a caring housemate. The audience disagreed. Lauren said “he stirred things” as a constant problem instigator.

The next eviction is on Friday’s final, where the winner will be crowned.





Celeb Big Brother UK evictions 4 and 5 announced

Celebrity Big Brother Double eviction results in

steph pratt

After nominating face to face on Wednesday evening tonight’s show evicted two housemates in a double eviction.

The nominated six were James Jordan, Stephanie Pratt, Kellie Maloney, Audley Harrison, Gary Busey and Edele Lynch.

The first two housemates were saved. James Jordan and Gary Busey were both saved by the public vote.

The first eviction saw Stephanie leave the house as evictee number four. Fans felt Stephanie was a game player who was using George Gilbey for favouritism to win votes to stay. She also admitted to being a germaphobe, having issues with cleanliness. On her eviction interview, she said Gary Busey should be “in a straightjacket” since trying to understand her health issues. American housemate Stephanie was reprimanded for her stern shouting at Gary Busey for no apparent reason.

James, who has been purposely snapping at leading man Gary Busey and verbally vindictive to recent transgender Kellie Maloney was saved after mass shock from fans of the show voting.

james jordann

Homophobic misogynistic condescender  James earlier attacked Kellie with bitchy jibes using her trans gender change as survival leverage. Kellie entered the house only weeks after taking hormonal treatments during her trans progression further showing victimisation to the community with people like James. The show did not reprimand Briton James at all for his personal comments. The production show continue to be under debate by the voting public who feel the show is editing strategically to protect James in hopes for ratings.

kellie maloney

Afterwards the second to be sent out, in the shock double eviction from the house was Kellie Maloney. Fans viciously boo’ed Kellie after James used her trying to adjust to her trans change as a strategy to turn crowds against her unpredictable mood swing as an effect of her transition. Experts have widely explained it is highly difficult to adjust in later years of trans re-assignment. Kellie is a sixty-one, that’s 61, year old woman.

In her eviction interview Kellie thanked the public who supported her and having her time in the house. Kellie said she felt accomplished on her journey to grow as a woman on the show, and praised her closeness with Dee. Kellie pulled James up over his abusive manner of talking to people after suggesting he was playing games. She called him a “lost soul” after a counselling session. He wants to be “top dog” Kellie added. Aging dancer James was sacked by Strictly Come Dancing months ago. Kellie said she came out as a “better person” from the experience. Kellie finally said “I’ve never used my gender or sexuality” as James falsely suggested.

One week is left  for the final eight housemates with another double eviction Wednesday.




Celeb Big Brother Third evictee announced. 2 housemates leave. New nominations in.

Third evictee is…

Celebrity Big Brother - Summer 2014

Last night Big Brother hosted its third eviction of the Summer series.

Nominated for eviction were Kellie Maloney, Angelique ‘Frenchy’ Morgan, Stephanie Pratt, Ricci Guarnaccio, Lauren Goodger and Gary Busey. Catty dancer James Jordan and boxing legend Audley Harrison gained immunity from being nominated.

Glamour model and socialite Frenchy Morgan was the third housemate to get the BB Boot. She thanked the UK for granting her the ‘privileged’ of entering the star studded house. Morgan was regarded by fans as one of the most entertaining and interesting ones, but fell victim to the usual demographic of teen females voting on fickle attitudes and favoured hunks with no shirts on.

frenchy morgan

Soap actress Claire King left the house after being admitted to hospital over health concerns. Unable to return, Claire has since forfeited her place in the house, for obvious reasons. Claire became the first ever and most notorious soap ‘Superbitch’ for her fiery role as Kim Tate in Emmerdale.

claire king hot


After the eviction Big Brother announced the housemates will nominate face to face once more after last week. The six nominated were Gary Busey, James Jordan, Audley Harrision, singer Edele Lynch, Kellie Maloney and Stephanie Pratt.

james jordan smug

Smug, condescending, homophobic, misogynistic dancer Jordan is next in frame for boot.

Friday’s eviction will be a double meaning two housemates are to be democratically removed by the public.

Fans felt Big Brother bosses were abusing the show to keep in disagreeable people in order to keep ratings up, ignoring the process of the show instead.

Jordan, Pratt and Lynch are the favourites to go.



Channel 5

BB Spy


Second Celebrity Big Brother 2014 evictee is…

Results in for second evictee from Summer CBB edition


The second eviction of the Summer edition of Celebrity Big Brother of 2014 has been decided this evening. The series which hosts two editions a year instead of one after the New Year and Summer tonight saw seven nominees.

Facing the eviction after Wednesday’s face to face nominations saw actor Leslie Jordan, Boxing promoter Kellie Malonhey, boxer Audley Harrison, Reality TV stars George Gilbey, Stephanie Pratt and socialite Angelique ‘Frenchy’ Morgan and veteran actor Gary Busey. Anyone who recieved a nomination would automatically face the public vote.

Stephanie, who previously discussed nominations with abusive patronising dancer James Jordan was punished for insinuating nominating Audley. Both her nominations for Gary and Frenchy were discounted. Viewers said this was an empty punishment by the new Channel 5 show who face criticism’s it never knows what to do when housemates break rules.

leslie jordan

After the first three housemates were saved, which included  George, Gary and Audley the final result was cast.

Leslie Jordan was voted as the second evictee of the series to a rapturous cheers after initial pantomime boo’s in the house screen display from the outside mob crowd momentarily.

In his eviction interview Emmy award winning Will and Grace star  Leslie said of his time in the house,

Leslie was voted star of the show lat week to fan delight.

Jordan was also confused how a housemate who cut up his expensive clothes referring to Angelique, after a disagreement remained in the house. Leslie was also humble towards house enemy Frenchy, upon reflection for some comments.Jordan provided numerous entertaining moments in the house as a fun, down to earth guy.



Daily Mirror


Celebrity Big Brother 2014 First Eviction Result is…

First Celeb Big Brother Evictee in Summer 2014 line-up revealed


After the first eviction of the new series of Celebrity Big Brother, the show has removed its first Celeb from its star studded house.

david mcintosh

Facing eviction were soap actress Claire King, government white van man driver David McIntosh, veteran actor Gary Busey, dancer James Jordan and transgender boxing promoter Kellie Maloney.

After receiving the most votes isolated housemate Gary Busey was saved from the eviction by the public vote. Then the four facing the elimination were told the result.

Vain musclemanboy David McIntosh, 28, was the first evicted housemate to much cheer from fans fed up with the self centred body builder who felt he was a superior hunk to all men and women. The former Gladiator nicknamed Tornado was swept away from the house after causing arguments with Busey with bullying tactics among friend James Jordan.

Pants. Vain McIntosh flaunts only asset.

Pants. Vain McIntosh flaunts only asset available.

When evicted McIntosh said Theatre and TV legend Leslie Jordan was interested in him and implied he was turned on, assuming the gay community are adorned by any man in good shape thinking all men like musclemen with no brains and only brawn. This has said to have upset certain numbers of the LGBT community for such assumptive arrogance.

McIntosh is most famous for dating model Kelly Brook for only a few months and has proposed. Brook banned him from discussing their sex life on screen and contributed little to the house whilst flexing in his underpants for cheap viewer votes.

Homophobic James Jordan was favourite to be booted from the Big Brother building but was kept in by celebrity friends on his former dancing show Strictly Come Dancing from where Jordan was sacked months ago.

Other celebrities in the house include jilted Made In Chelsea star and sister to former contestant Spencer, Stephanie Pratt, Angelique ‘Frenchy’ Morgan, Boxer Audley Harrison, Stage screen star Leslie Jordan, Singer Edele Lynch, Reality TV stars George Gibley, Ricci Guarnaccio and Lauren Goodger and ex-benefit claimant victimised by press as a ‘scrounger’ in government crackdowns Deirdre ‘White Dee’ Kelly among the remaining four nominated.

The housemates are set to nominate face to face later this evening where an eviction looms on Friday.


Channel 5

Strictly Come Dancing Results: Week 3

The first batch of couples, in no particular order, safe to next week is Sophie and Brendan, Fiona and Anton, Ben and Kristina, Rachel and Pasha, Susanna and Kevin and Natalie and Artem.

The first couple facing the dance off is Julien and Janette.

Andrea Bocelli

When I fall in love

andrea boceelli scd 3

Impressive tone and amazement from the beginning from the tender tenor. Crowd loved it. Was smooth, collected and compassionate. Class act.

Len’s Lens

We now peep through the lens where we discuss Sophie’s Samba, Natalie’s divinity, Ashley’s hips grinding and Craig being “harsh” to Ben. If he chose to get on board and improve, which he did this week, he would get further praise instead of everyone loving him for wearing just a pair of pants rather than doing nothing else except support his own charity and ignore those he says he is meant to represent and do something for. Dave and his hilarity was also up for discussion.

The following result was revealed as to how is safe for next week. Going through are Ashley and Ola, Abbey and Aljaz, Deborah and Robin, Mark and Iveta, Patrick and Anya.

The final couple in the dance of is Vanessa and James leaving Dave and Karen to head back into next week’s show.

Strictly hired both for thrills and now the two fun acts under Strictly bosses ideals re going head to head.

Julien and Janette


Everybody Needs Somebody To Love – The Blues Brothers

More proficiency from Julien this time round with arms and enjoyable attitude. Stronger style than previously as more relaxing in a strange, ‘facing the dance off again’ way the contest tends to have.

Vanessa and James


Lay all your love on me – ABBA

Vanessa just doesn’t have the acting style and fierce, sharpness in contrast to her tongue lashings with the judges. Very stiff and waits for James to command her outside of leading tendencies. Decent kicks around. Not much to add, really.

The Judges Vote

julien janette doff 3

Craig – Julien and Janette.

Darcey – The couple I would like to save is Julien and Janette.

Bruno – I would like to keep Julien and Janette.

Len – I would have gone with Julien and Janette.

vanessa james 3 doff

Vanessa said of her experience of what she’ll miss – James, the glamour and sequins. Thank you for having me.

James – I thought you were gonna be possible arguing, you are a wonderful sweat lady and I have a lovely experience.

James is now free to find a new partner to dance with. 😮 The ladies still have Artem, Robin and Kevin and Aljaz to compensate.

james ola cake

Congrats to 10 years for James and Ola.

On his tenth anniversary, James bows out of the Strictly ballroom.



The Mirror

Strictly Come Dancing Week 3

Strictly Come Dancing Week 3

This week on Strictly is love week. Get the tissues at the ready. Beginning was a group marriage along with vicar Craig. He didn’t dance this week, but there is still time for that one. James and Ola ended the group dance by planting a cream pie into Craig’s face on either side. Poor guy. Make up will run.

scd wedding

Last week he was unwell but tonight Sir Brucie is back with Tess. Also joining are the judges Craig Revel Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Also judging are us in brackets.

Abbey and Aljaz


Can’t buy me love – The Beatles

abbey aljaz 3

Abbey sits on the stage of Penny Lane for quite a while. Began slow. Once back into throes of routine lacked oomph in rhythm despite a good pace. Very careful. Not an easy dance coping well to hold it together but again rather bland. Lots of individuality. Less romantic with not much partnership bond in loving togetherness.

LG – Energy, enthusiasm great. Bit more swivel.  Overall good job.

BT – You can work that look baby. Leg, kicks and flicks have to be sharper. You can work that darling.

CRH – Sat for an awfully long time on Penny Lane. Timing was out at beginning. Slightly laboured. Lack a little bit of attack. (Pantomime crowd begins boo’ing) It’s only my opinion.

Bruno quickly adds – The girl worked so hard…

Working hard is one thing, but being on Strictly has its requirements. Isn’t a work hard come dancing and not anything else, is it?

DB – Energy and story was lovely.

6, 7, 8, 7 (6)

Patrick and Anya


Let there be Love – Nat King Cole

patrick anya 3

Good in hold, slow working. Lots of emphasis from Anya. No strong character of Patrick coming through. Ticked few boxes but not enough to secure votes. Pleasant but empty. Why would someone vote for him over the others?

BT – A distinguished kind of love, except when you got your feet in a twist. Moments little bit restrained. Keep the flow.

CRH – Would have liked to see little bit more movement. Gaping issues. You are style.

DB – Brought panache. Neat and tidy. Take risks. Very nice. Eye contact, I liked a lot.

LG – Very difficult dance. Style with a smile. Lovely.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Dave and Karen

Paso Doble

I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) –  Meat Loaf

dave karen 3

Dave claimed this maybe his signature dance. Not very loving but regardless, is the dance he’s doing. Looked more like a Mad Scientist in a cloak than the cape he swayed. Did well but most focus was swinging a cape. A way to hide his lack of dance skill can actually highlight it further. Karen strolls in. Lost tie lost. Out of time. Karen high kick. Dave commands. Not doing much. He won’t do that. On one knee. Does that add to lift rules? Swing around of Karen was a laugh.

Dave weighs up Craig’s puzzling face. Like a bulldog eating pickles, Dave says.

Bruce – Could you put your look into words?

CRH – One word. Dreadful

DB – Didn’t follow through with the shaping.

LG – You’re the people’s champion.

BT – Beyond description.

2, 5, 5, 4 (4)

Fiona and Anton


True Love – Bing Crosby

fiona anton 3

Anton’s wearing white trousers this week. Might help if any mishaps occur. Walk around spin decent. Seemed more sombre than loving though. Graceful but lost in gaining bearings. Slightly forgettable despite  good effort and graceful end.

DB – Weren’t so many nerves there. Create more ability to use your neck. Very Beautiful.

LG – You playing Snakes and Ladders. Last week down now back up the ladder.

BT – Balance is better. Losing focus, don’t do that. You can do it.

CRH – Over balanced at one stage but managed to catch up. Timing slightly out. Thought wholething extremely elegant.

Happy birthday yesterday for Fiona Bruce informs us. Forsyth then stirs crowd to sing jolly “Happy Birthday” to Fullerton in a good touch.

7, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Rachel and Pasha

Cha Cha

When Love Takes Over – David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland

rachel pasha 3

One extend move of elbow, hair straitening. Tender feet forward and back crossover. Lacking any sass on spin shimmy. Good memory of feet kicks. Over impactful on Pasha and not Rachel. Must dance not …

Sorry Rach, but its still a 6. Decent but not thrilling.

LG – occasionally u lose little bit off control.

BT – Starting to feel the tingle. Starting to use your assets to your advantage. Don’t doubt yourself.

CRH – Look of concentration was startling. Plonking your body down on all the finishes. Free arm placement much, much better.

DB – Cleaner, precise. Overall confidence, fabulous to watch.

6, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Mark and Iveta

American Smooth

It Must Be Love –  Madness

mark iveta 3

Iveta wants to dance instead of Autograph. Graceful. Turn around of Iveta awkward by Benton. Aeroplane arms bit timid. Good extensions though. Slow and uneventful. Needs more fluidity with content implementation. Disappointing without any lifts.

BT – You can tell a story. Couple of rough passages. Watch your turns. Storytelling – perfect.

CRH – Fantastic storyteller. Really got to work on your hands. Ruining your line. The finish will give you much better points from the judges.

DB – did miss glamorous flare. Use your height, extend, travel.

LG – You capture essence of every dance. What I love, watching you, you get it.

6, 6, 7, 7 (5)

Ben and Kristina


Make you feel my love – Adele

ben kristina 3

Decent leg backs even though awkward. Good hips. Nice leg down arm out. Eye contact there but no real connection of partnership and just two people doing a dance to tick boxes.

Ben Cohen might be dreamy to many, but at some point the dream must end. Wont be long if no impact continues. Decent but limp 6.

CRH – I want to love you too my darling. Want you to dance well and you did. (Kisses Craig)

DB – I wanted to see connection and you gave it to me. Created true intensity.

BT – Nice to see a big butch bloke being gentle. Needed a bit more hips going on on occasion. Thought you showed your feminine side. (Alan Carr shown in audience, as BBC have aimed to groom him numerous times for the show as well as stereotype with ‘the gays.’)

BT – Like watching a series of erotic freezes. Whichever way you going, keep going you going well.

7, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Sophie and Brendan


All night long – Lionel Ritchie

sophie brendan 3

Flimsy arms. No real oomph in movement. Basic dance on own at a nightclub for Soph. Boring.

DB – dance content fabulous. Cool party vibe. More of a carnival vibe (like to see) Brilliant isolation. Such natural timing.

LG – Lacked a bit of tone. Full of all my greatest hits. Well done.

BT – Sophisticated Samba. Did it all without breaking a sweat.

CRH – Really loved it. Cleaner finish would have been great.

Need to justify last week’s nines.

7, 8, 8, 8 (3)

Julien and Janette


Everybody Needs Somebody To Love – The Blues Brothers

julien janette 3

Oh dear, he’s  doing the Jive. Suits personality, but good luck.

Strong start. Lost bit of arm movement, minor. Good work with partner. Keeping up well. For jive requirements.

LG –Really enjoyed it. Best dance to date.

BT – Played role right tonight. Full of wacky attitude. You went for it. If you stay in competition must focus on time. Energy was great.

CRH – Energy was great, little like three year old after a dance recital. Lots of energy which I loved.

DB – Certainly brought energy and love into your Jive. Crisper kick and flick. Only thing would polish your performance.

4, 5, 7, 6 (6)

Susanna and Kevin

Viennese Waltz

Annie’s Song – John Denver

susanna kevin 3

Good. Little lost in thought 1 minute through. Good spin around. Good technical tick of boxes but not memorable.

BT – Natural. So good to see.

CRH – Chin up, left shoulder down, darling. (Panto crowd Boo) I’m only trying to make it better for you darling.

DB – Some lovely extensions. Use your shoulders and upper body. Only in your top line. That’s it.

LG – This is love week and I’m in love with that Viennese Waltz. Lovely fluidity. Best I’ve seen tonight.

8, 9, 9, 8 (7)

Vanessa and James


Lay all your love on me – ABBA

vanessa james 3 (2)

Velvet braces on James.

Vanessa charges over and scares off the girls chatting with her man James. Pushing back strong. Into hold. Not bad. Struggling to make sharp attacks. Good through leg lift up. Throws James down. Good effort. Missing technique.

CRH – lacked little bit of attack???? Lacked a little bit of focus for me, and sharpness.

Vanessa instantly argues. “Your full of apasoo as ever.

Little tip for Vanessa. Being gobby to hide understand will not help you overall. You silence critics with talent, not senselessly arguing for no reason to gain some votes of sympathy alone. Acts like that usually leave the competition very quickly. Enormous progress to keep up with this dude. Honestly!

DB – Its not about liking the smell of your man. Keep your head away.

LG – Lot of content into that routine. Like a decaff coffee it looks okay but it lacked a bit of bite and a bit of snap.

BT – Good attitude. Messed up your footwork. You just stop driving the dance. Started well, keep going.

3, 5, 6, 6 (5)

Ashley and Ola


Love Is In The Air –  John Paul Young

ashley ola 3

Hip thrust of abs as Ola descends. Good wrap around. Bit too trotty. Gallopy and then thrust shaking astride. Bit slow and weak on turn around walk back. Spin around floor of Ola full body. Ends on embrace.

DB – Very nice maybe do up shirt wont be distracted.

LG – You coped well with a very difficult dance.

BT – Dreamboat from Brazil. You got your bit wrong at the corner. (Points to Ola)

CRH – Those hip  rolls were absolute filth and I loved it.

8, 8, 7, 8 (6)

James and Ola have a surprise celebration of their 10th wedding anniversary. Cake brought on by pal Brendan. Craig didn’t repay the favour and stick the cake in their face.

Artem and Natalie


Love the way you lie – Eminem feat. Rihanna

natalie artem 3

Good romance on start into a swivel swing around of Gumede. Good mirroring. Leg through smooth but lift both feet to go through. Good ballet carousel let spin.

Smooth romance, without words needed.

LG – That. Was. Fab-u-lous. (Another one for the bingo card!)

BT – Beauty in perpetual motion.

CRH – Love. Love. Love.

DB – You speak with the whole of your body. Brilliant.

9, 9, 9, 9, (8)

Hilarious laugh after Artem mentions something. Did someone guff it?

Deborah and Robin


Higher and Higher – Jackie Wilson

deb robin 3

Good keeping in hold. Kept pace around circling. Enjoying whilst concentrating. Good hop along and turns. Decent level of bounce.  Gentlemanly end from dapper Robin.

BT – Dragon is turning into a butterfly. Light-footed than ever. So much better.

CRH – You put a smile on my face I really enjoyed that.

DB – It was fast and furious. Fix that frame. Fabulous.

LG – Your best to date, my lovely.

7, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Strictly Bingo!

Here’s ours so far. You can still play along with the original card if you wish – check last weeks post at this link – https://falsefabs.wordpress.com/2013/10/06/strictly-come-dancing-week-2-2/ . However, do not copy the concept. Play along and share with us here, contact by email above on the page tabs or tweet us @FalseFabs. 🙂

scd bingo copy

Who did well and who did not?

Natalie, Susanna, Fiona, Abbey and Patrick made impressive performances. Vanessa, Sophie, Mark and Rachel were not so good with structure all over the place conflicting the dance. The rest held stability and no stand out features.

Danger zone

Julien, Vanessa and Patrick.

Results to follow…



Strictly Come Dancing Week 2

Opening the show on the second live evening where last week’s votes are carried over to this week’s will see the first elimination on tomorrow (Sunday) night’s results show. Sadly, Brucie was given the night off after having the flu leaving Tess Daly to host with Claudia Winkleman in the auditorium. Tonight’s show was full of improvement, game raising and all things glitz. Read on…

tess claudia2

As ever back are the judges Craig Revel Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our professional score is also added in brackets alongside.

Susanna and Kevin


Locked Out of Heaven – Bruno Mars

susanna kevin 2

Good toes pointed to and kept on floor as dragged around floor. Almost fell wrong during sharp back tilt quickly caught by Kevin. Kevin’s re-work of Susanna hid any more possible misses and attempted to recover routine where Susanna hit back with strong finish and leg kicks despite mishap slightly off kiltering them overall. Sharp cover up, however did help, somewhat.

LG – I think you put the go in Tango. Crisp. Frame little bit loose. Loose connection sometimes. Two dances down, so far so fabulous.

BT – Fire, flare attack. Very important in Tango. You have so much attack frame goes a little bit. Add control to your spirit.

CRH – Full of drama nad intent. Rigid. Dance on a whole was very, very good.

DB – Loving your conviction. Left shoulder does lift and merk. So fab to watch you.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Tony and Aliona


It Don’t Mean A Thing (If Ain’t Got That Swing) – Duke Ellington and Irving Mills

tony aliona 2

Happy to be here Jacklin does the obvious golf set up clad in chequered clobber. Using a club to pair them completely ignoring the premise of show, then sees show off Aliona cartwheel her own way backward leaving Jacklin isolated. Terrible kicks from Jackin whilst constantly carrying partner around to have something to do. Someone get him the caddy. Absolutely rotten.

BT – I don’t know what it swung me but not in place I wanted it to go. [Homophobic Aliona not impressed with Bruno’s swing joke.] Timing off no swing lots of fishing. Wasn’t really a good Charleston was it.

Tess – Oh no, it’s Judge Dread,

CRH – Should be lively energetic, phonetic unfortunately yours was limp lame and lacklustre. Devoid of any real characterisation.

DB – Difference, confidence you hit each lift. Improvement from last week a godsend.

LG – At 69 to dance a very energetic dance I commend you for that. Very character driven. You’re a sportsman not an actor.

2, 4, 4, 3 (1)

Natalie and Artem


If I Aint Got You – Alicia Keys

artem natalie 2

Mood, tone and graceful connection set ballroom scene beautifully. Good head tilts in turn. Careful footwork smooth. Felt light, breezy and clandestine.

CRH – I was moved, however some occasional gaping. Loved use of skirt. Breath-taking.

DB – You have the quality, the feeling. Beautiful stretch. One to watch.

LG – Loved feel of it. Grace and elegance. Absolutely corking.

BT – Incredible control and confidence for week 2. Fluidity of hands and arms, tell a story with each flicker of your wrist. Dance is a performing art.

8,9,8,9 (8)

Dave and Karen

American Smooth

How Do You Like Your Eggs in the Morning? by Dean Martin and Helen O’Connell

Dave Karen 2

Hairy Baker Dave did a kitchen come dancing set up complete with eggs background sound. Decent lift but felt very horizontal only for Karen. Waits for Karen after spins. Caveman Dave lifts Karen off chair for a lift after she scales it for him. Ends with a glitzy gold American Football helmet and no interest, style or presence and only ‘made it through’ a routine. Dull as dishwater, darling. May be the resident coast through, lovable rogue only. It’s a once in a lifetime experience. Go for it, or go home.

DB – Certainly tamed that excitement. Beautiful long arms but get bit paddly. Actually touch her. Shame you had to use a chair to get into that lift.

LG – Always handy to get a bunk up. Bit bumpy but landed safely and got through it. Appreciated those lovely heel leads. Fun to watch.

BT – Like a disaster movie. Cooking up a storm, you’re cooking up a stink. Got to listen to the music. Sense of musicality. I do appreciate the fun factor but still have to the feet down on the right bit at the right time.

TD – Craig, I hope it gets more than a two from you this week.

CRH – Dancing it by numbers. Lacked style but can build in. Lift a little bit lumberjackish but like Darcey, I do like you.

3, 5, 5, 4 (3)

Patrick and Anya


Beat It – Michael Jackson

patricj anya 2

Wind up key starts the couple off. Very strong first motion. Joins sharp attack with Anya in hold. Easy guiding along after but hold power of mood still. Decent work around. Powerful couple capable of much more. Showed mechanical skill and style no one else has yet delivered in difference. Patrick ends by freezing partner who awakened him in turn of tables.

LG – Hold could have been tighter. Danced with lot of verve and energy. You’ll be hanging around for weeks.

BT – Strong and gritty. Lost bit of frame.

CRH – Your bottom does stick out a little so tuck it under. Stepping off on ball instead of heel. Timing impeccable.

DB – Strong, masculine. Try use whole back as you change. One to watch.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Deborah and Robin

Cha Cha

Respect – Aretha Franklin

deborah robin 2

Deb goads Dragon Craig between panel bar and dancefloor. Smiley attitude good fun. Little lost in hold into spin around by Rob. Not fully into arm work on flim flam sway arms from up to down motions.

BT – Like a tribute act. Love bubbly, feisty, frivolous personality. Still have to do much more hip action better place of feet.

CRH – Dragon verses drag queen darling, be careful. Great attitude but must straighten legs. Very stompy. Joy to watch.

DB – Loving your zest for performance. Great to watch somebody go for it. Your timing is good.

LG – Cheeky. For complete package got to work on technique.

[Len was supposed to start the comments roll, just to add. :p]

5, 7, 6, 6 (6)

Rachel and Pasha


Get Lucky – Daft Punk

rachel pasha 2

Constant prop use could become distraction that becomes costly. In hold weak again. Struts along, Pasha follows on knees. Fair arm through entanglements. Easy fling backs as only interest. Lift (allowed) around leg spin over Pasha to finish with no impact. Forgettable.

CRH – Wriggling around like a slug in salt. Awkward.

DB – Didn’t get that time to it. Push. Bit wishy washy.

LG – Little bit careful again. Come out and really wow us. Good fun.

BT – Gorgeous rag doll. Worst thing of all is your balance. Concentrate, work on your strength ‘cos you’ve got the beauty.

4, 5, 6, 5 (5)

Vanessa and James


Run to you – Whitney Houston

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Hard concentration in eyes. Good back leg spin head tilt. Bit empty and safe led mostly by James as a guide into dance. Vanessa needs more of own presence, though not over animated incorporated.

DB – Emotion of romance. Soften the knees and you’ll get more glide to loosen up a bit.

LG – Poignant, romance, bit of a story. Gotta work bit more on the details. Small things to make it into a complete package.

BT – Deeply felt. Connected, involved. By doing so, moving better.

CRH – Definitely comfortable in hold. You’ve done a lovely job, James.

5, 6, 6, 6 (5)

Julien and Janette


Applause – Lady Gaga

julien janette 2

Showing strong command as lead. Good in hold, despite stance little wayward. Overall decent hold and guidance of partner. Working floor well. Interest of audience. Rises above Manrara. Was OK for week 2 starter. One of few males who has led during start of competition which is most difficult for all male celeb’s to do so. Most of the male celeb’s are still struggling with that.

LG – Tango is like a Cactus – sharp and spiteful. Bit of an orchid. Did with conviction. Good go.

BT – Didn’t know if I was watching a Tango or a Paso Doble.

CRH – Posture, I’m afraid, is ghastly. Not your best, darling.

Tess asks – “Better than last week?”

CRH – No

DB – Loved the attack, came out with conviction.

3, 5, 5, 5 (5)

Fiona and Anton

Cha Cha

Beggin’ – Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

fiona anton 2

Good lone dance sass. In hold strong prominence from Fullerton. Enjoying the music and dance. Just concentrate on the move as going along with enthusiasm. Almost slipped back, supported by Anton. Working the legs. Very decent. Anton also stands accused of having a stiffy by eagle eyed viewers who thought he may have got one whilst other claim his partner was too. 😮

BT – No need to beg just need to dance darling. Do it right!

TD – Was it the nerves?

(Fiona agrees) – Yeah.

CRH – Thought you were very good till you kicked Anton in the shin. Nice couple, love watching you dance.

DB – Lose consistency. Very controlled. Lots of promise.

LG – Stuff on your own, right on time. There was the incident. Never recovered after that.

6, 6, 5, 5 (6)

Mark and Iveta


Bom Bom Bom – Sam and the Womp

mark iveta 2

Channelling Austin Powers. Strong enthusiasm. Keeping character. And crowd. Good kick outs with Iveta spins. Good floor spin round of Iveta. Big boy doing well for dance strength but needed a tad more movement than confined to one spot. Work the floor on occasion.

CRH – Little bit disjointed for me. A crowd pleaser darling. Heavily due to character.

DB – Loved energy. Always take charge and fab performance.

LG – In the darkest clouds a ray of sunshine appears. A party dance, meant to be fun and entertaining. You make me feel good.

BT – Wasn’t a Salsa. But it was fun to watch.

4, 6, 7, 5 (5)

Sophie and Brendan


Rock it for me – Chick Webb and Orchestra feat. Ella Fitzgerald

brendan sophie

Good start for Soph. Waxtor came to life. Arms, bounce, kicks sharp. Good somersault off Brendan backwards. Good mirroring of partner in front and behind. When you really try as a professional you can really focus without your attitude clouding routine, Brendan. Dance suits Sophie.

DB – Brilliant choreography Brendan.

LG – Great routine, beautifully danced.

BT – Stylistically perfect.

CRH – Brendan, you were rubbish. Sophie that was fit darling.

9, 9, 9, 9 (7)

Ben and Kristina


What the world needs now – Dionne Warwick

Strictly Come Dancing

Strolls up heavily. Shaky steps on spin round collecting Kristina. Wait for second on floor before moving. Lost. Daydreaming not great for routine. Very slow and careful footing. Clueless again. Only hunk attitude may carry him along the competition. Only goes so far. No depth showing whatsoever.

LG – Look magnificent but you don’t move much. Lower through. Better than last week.

BT – Drive the music.

CRH – Rugby butt as delicious as it is, doesn’t protrude much. Inject more personality. Just smiling lit up then you looked terrified.

DB – Ballaclase did work. Little more connection between you.

6, 6, 7, 6 (4)

Abbey and Aljaz

Cha Cha

Let’s Get Loud – Jennifer Lopez

abbey alijaz

Strong musicality. Strong sways from Aljaz. Abbey slightly lagging behind. Morphed into a wooden Barbie doll. Good leg splits in middle downward. Extremely lost on spin, more a turn around.

BT – Plenty to fancy about Miss. Clancy. You do look fab, natural instinct for the dance. Careful with your freehand. Tiny little stumble at end?

CRH – Free arm very haphazard. Though whole thing very enjoyable.

DB – You can dance, just trust partner and relax when you come out of hold, do you lose that focus. Believe in yourself.

LG – Arms lose little bit of discipline. You’re a good dancer, Abbey.

7, 7, 8, 8 (6)

Ashley and Ola

American Smooth

Beyond the Sea – Bobby Darin

ashley ola 2

After the revelations of hunky new daddy for the second time audience DILF Ashley begins.

Very good spin around in hold collection before gliding crane jump off onto dancefloor. Good lift around of Ola (allowed) followed by second flat carousel on shoulders. Very commanding. Good sophistication in face. Arms good. End on back dip down lift atop arms.

CRH – Wrist is broken, so much content in there. Fantastic energy and lifts. Great showman.

DB – Whole thing incredible. One habit, dips. So impressive, you are gonna go far.

LG – You put the ooh in Smooth. Got the dry mouth. Each week be better than before, that’s what you’ve done.

BT – About showbiz Hollywood glamour. What American Smooth is all about.

7, 9, 8, 8 (8)

Danger Zone

At this point its pretty much anyone’s game with these few as weakest so far in terms of audience reception and favour. They are Tony, Patrick, Fiona, Julien, Mark and Rachel. However three who could face the voting pitfall are Tony, Julien and Patrick.

Online Votes

This year you can vote up to five times online so spread your votes out for a few of your faves. You have to open an account at BBC’s website though.

Strictly Bingo!

scd bingo 2 copy

You can visit us @FalseFabs on Twitter or copy the card here (above) and play along in our original take on False Fabs Strictly Bingo. Anyone else trying to copy and implement the same idea will just look completely irrelevant and lame and you know exactly where it came from. But do join in, play along and let us know how you get on if you wish! Here’s ours below!

Upon this the BBC have added a sweepstakes for you too. Not the same and allowed, however, seeing as SCD is their product, after all.

Copyright notice: In no way, shape or form are you allowed to pass off the card as your own.

Our card so far! Quite a few daubs.

Our card so far! Quite a few daubs.


Salsa, Argentine Tango, American Smooth, Charleston and Freestyle, are dances that allow a lift.

iPlayer is NoPlayer

Fans headed home from all nighters and late night workers without an on demand catch up TV service were appalled and annoyed that the website on the BBC had not uploaded the full show. Even at 1am the show was not uploaded yet feature numerous clips of the evening already put on questioning bad management at the Beeb once again failing to give viewers what they pay for and desire. Rival show X Factor began running its near two hour borefest on national television again yet the BBC lacked any Strictly catch up service, which is exactly what iPlayer is meant to provide. Fans believe the BBC to be dysfunctional in its quality to consumer need, of which is funded by the licence fee of Public Service Broadcasting. The results show with the first vote off is tomorrow evening at 19.20pm on BBC One.

FalseFabs inquired after viewer complaints. The show was uploaded onto BBC iPlayer at 1.54am.

Results to follow…




Strictly Come Dancing 2013


Strictly Come Dancing 2013, Week 1

Night 1 (Friday 27th September 2013)

bruce and tess 1

Bruce and Tess begin the glitz extravaganza.

Tonight no couple will be leaving. Scoring will commence and scores carried over to next week. Lowest votes = dance orf!

Of course, it is the first week and we give some consideration for that, but ultimately, there will be no excuse for a bad performance overall.

The judges are back. Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli

The fifth judge is also here as they tell us but unlike Strictly it aint the public it’s us.

Len was congratulated for being recently married. Congratulations

Ashley and Ola

Cha Cha

What Makes You Beautiful – One Direction

ashley ola 1

First out was vanilla hunk Ashley Taylor-Dawson. Self-confessed fan of the lycra, Dawson added he may be out of his depth.

The action started with a sassy shake, with spin style from Dawson. Staring at Ola’s derriere jiggling was next. It was tacky. Careless arms. Missed grab of Ola. Funky Chicken moves. Weak steps. No direction. Fair connection with partner. Very bland for first week.

Below are the scores of the judges, along with our professional score in brackets.

LG – Len begins. Leg action bit straighter. Smooth sailing or sink without trace for hopefuls.

BT – Born to be on hands and knees. Timing very good. Work on hips. First out, well done.

CRH – Good amount of rhythm hips implyable and stiff. Also nothing going on there. Footwork feral. Missed a catch. There is a good point. You’re rather easy on the eye, darling.

DB – Very confident first dance. Really impressive. Don’t look to floor (on turns) keep eye level up.

Scores – 5, 6, 7, 7 (6)

Tony and Aliona


What I’ll Do –Alison Krauss

tony aliona 1

Could Aliona look like she gives a sh*t?

Jacklin said he liked to wear bright things and stand out. “More sparkle the better” he added. He said Aliona was the “consummate professional.” Must be reading our mind. Not for Aliona though. Thank you, but she ain’t me. Patience and perseverance was needed to succeed, he felt.

Tone of music set. Tender start. Smooth arm flow through. Minor elbow awkwardness after lost in middle to remember steps. Fair recovery. Minimal movement to mask novice beginning though. However a smooth and decent performance from Jacklin.

The talented house singers were introduced with Dave Arch and his fabulous orchestra.

BT – Sentimental, romantic and soft. I didn’t see much of that. Turned into a Galapagos tortoise. You were counting. Do a mistake, follow the flow.

CRH – When you finally got in hold became the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Littered with mistake. Out of time, weren’t leading. Bit of a disaster I say.

DB – It’s terrifying. Nerves out, come back confident, competitive Tony.

LG – Spirit of this show. No dance experience coming out and having a go. Just praying to get through it. Well done.

2, 5, 5, 4 (3)

Mark and Iveta


Hernando’s Hideaway – Alma Cogan

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“Come on the big men!” Benton adds as he aims to show big boys can dance akin to Lisa Riley’s shock stint last year on the show.

 Good connection. Eye contact. Leading qualities. Good footwork. Excellent music choice, but needed bit more fluidity. Strong accompaniment. Good matador steps. Good start for week one, strong prominence on stage floor. Naturally will be slow due to obvious speed impediment but needs to have a little faster in parts than just a simple stop moment.

CRH – Should be sharp, intent and purpose, that you had. However, your right thumb, darling, that bothers me. Danced it rather well.

DB – Just brilliantly played. Was little worried. Strong, masculine, in control. It was fab!

LG – Attitude, recognisable steps, frame was okay, am shocked how good that was.

BT – Love how you set up the theme, carry on thieving. So much content in there, drive throughout the foot. Keep proud Latin attitude. Great performance.

5, 6, 7, 6 (6)

Susanna and Kevin


Shake your tail feather – Blues Brothers

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Strong start for lone Susanna. Good strong turnarounds. Good gallops. Decent leg moves. Strong sass. Little dip in speed and steps during three quarters in. Strong fight with Jive bunny Kevin. Held own as strong celeb in pairing. Strong start for first week with one of Strictly most unforgiving dances if gone wrong. Huge credit to newbie Clifton, too.

DB – Really sold me your drive. Good style, try lower heel for more bounce.

LG – One of the hardest dances to do on first week. Satisfying. Fabulous.

BT – Oh yes, read all about it! This girl can shake it! Fantastic stage presence, content great. Be sharper on kicks and flicks.

CRH – Now for the cold hard truth. Extremely laboured, don’t raise shoulder so you don’t have no neck. Would never have attempted that cartwheel, went horrible wrong. Loved armography, energy and personality. Sublime.

Bruce – You’ve done the BBC proud.

6, 7, 8, 7 (7)

Sophie and Brendan


Moon River – Audrey Hepburn

 sophie brendan 1

“Pop royalty” Bextor claims chemistry isn’t easy for me.

Too long to get in hold, looking empty. Hard dance, performed well but just felt empty and full of nothingness. No character, personality or style. One arm lift swan flutter and spin from Sophie Ellis Waxtor. Needs to be much stronger. Good paring with Brendan but the Cole effect seems to ruin all dancers with choreography. Did not shine.

LG – Lifted feet off ground quite a bit. Beauty of dance was gorgeous.

BT – Sense the aura of sophistication. Mood absolutely right. Top line gotta really work. I like it.

CRH – Top line is sadly letting you down, would been absolutely beautiful if that didn’t let you down.

DB – It was beautiful, grace, beautiful.

Cut to Blue Peter mother crying in audience.

Serene and graceful. Tess Daly adds in the auditorium. Don’t nick from our dic-tionary. Makes you look well daft. Cram in any word for a “sophistication” is often laughable. Beaming Tess. “HaHa”

7, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Natalie and Artem

Cha Cha

Rasputin – Boney M

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Blimey that was quick, Artem’s chicken fillets are out!

Smiley Artem guides Gumede a bit initially. Strong leg side shimmy’s from Nat. Slow stand-alone moments. Gaining bearings on live floor. Strong independence from Natalie leading a little. Artem’s smile gained a Colgate shine star cheese moment at end of dance. Oh dear. Looked more like a Paso Doble than a Cha Cha.

BT – With that attitude and lyrical arms of same time, gonna go far. More hip action.

CRH – Multitude of sins of the hip, however, so far, our front runner

DB – Not expecting that much detail in that dance.

LG – Clean, precise, style and rhythm. Craig is right, need more hip action, but fabulous, well done.

Brucie makes a quick input. “Cobblers?” he asks.

“No, Cossacks.” Bruno replies.

 “Yeah Cobblers?”

Most of you didn’t get it, did you? Cobblers. Natalie worked on Corrie, the Cobbles. Artem, being of Russian descent, Cossacks. Hopefully this is clear for  you all. Don’t worry Brucie, I got it, and that’s all you need. J

8, 8, 8, 7, (7)

Night 2 (Saturday 28th September 2013)

Ben and Kristina

Cha Cha

Love Me Again – John Newman

ben kristina 1

Keen smiley Cohen kicked off the evening.  Cheesy smile, non-impactful jump. Awkward footing. Turn and face side motion. Hapless on the floor. Boring, mid-way through looking to Kristina and steps. Stopped mid-dance and let Kristina spin herself. End with twirl around of her. Happy go lucky.

LG – Big Ben. Footwork terrific liked attitude. Get nervous you speed up. Lost your timing.

BT – You are a beefy beast aren’t you? Started very well but got a lot of bulk to move. Gonna be stiff. Loosen up a bit.

CRH – Breezy blocks, laden, out of time.

BF – Any more?

CRH – Oh a host of things, but not enough time.

DB – Upper body very impressive. Use the weight. Move it.

Naturally the gay community of body conscious beef were outraged of Craig’s scoring which was accurate. Adding “our” Ben Cohen. It’s ironic that homophobic Kristina, paired with gay rights campaigner Cohen were together in a no sense pair. From this, the gay community whose voices are not represented by Cohen, who claims to “stand up” and then does practically nothing other than prance around in pants and sell calendars with a buff body claims to be contradiction that the LGBT community wishes to be heard on. One tweet even reminisced, I can’t remember Cohen doing anything other than being in his pants, with similar responses elsewhere.

I’m sure a happy tweet for one moment will suffice for jolly Cohen’s campaign of ‘doing something’ instead.

3, 5, 6, 5 (3)

Fiona and Anton


A view to a kill – Duran Duran

Strictly Come Dancing

Apparently Anton ‘James Bond’ DuBeke, which constitutes as the same old Anton in a suit, which had zero character of Bond involved was a play along moment.

Strong concentration but decent footing. Looks awkward when trying to maintain facial character. Good dip down hold. Fair end. Decent but needs less thought more feeling to music.

BT – Like the role play. Covered well because you can act. Started very well.

CRH – Lovely to see Anton actually dancing this series. Little rough around the edges at times. Great that he has a partner that can now put one foot in front of the other.

DB – I was impressed with so much content. Composed very well. One thing lets you down is top line.

LG – Content in that was amazing. So much going on. Sharp as a lemon tart. On occasion lost it but character of dance was there.

5, 6, 7, 6 (5)

Dave and Karen

Cha Cha

Moves like Jagger – Maroon 5

Strictly Come Dancing

Loveable baker Myers explained his experience on strictly could be more “like a peacock with constipation.”

Enthusiastic Dave woo’s DJ Karen to the floor and gets some body rollin’ grooves. A while to get in hold and pushing hand motions away then a roll through leg, underneath, of Hauer. Very watered down. Taunt the judges with finger points. Loveable fellow, good party atmosphere but no real charisma, passion or dancing. Left alone to dance on his own and jumped up and down. Is that not technically a lift. These weren’t specified in the rules. Oops.

CRH – Terrifying. I actually recoiled in horror. Overwhelming feeling of revolution. Stop counting.

DB – Strangely in love, I really am.

LG – Bit more stagger than Jagger. Liked your commitment. You’re entertaining.

BT – Most insanely hilarious mess ever. Can’t wait to see what you’re gonna do next.

2, 5, 5, 4 (2)

Rachel and Pasha


When I Need You – Luther Vandross

Strictly Come Dancing

Slow and easy start to fold into the Strictly experience. Looks tender but boring. Needs some oomph than playing it safe alone. Trying to drive character across. Good partnership but very slow.

DB – What you need for Waltz is to glide. On change of directions you lose your core. Very beautiful.

LG – You’re pretty and thought dance was. Tad on the careful side. Get you through a three or four weeks, but won’t win. Give it some wellie girl.

BT – Graceful quality. Sounds like an air freshener commercial. All elements are there. Go with the flow. Extend your lines.

CRH – Let your vision flow a bit. Beautiful flow, gorgeous rise and fall and full of elegance.

6, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Julien and Janette

Cha Cha

Vogue – Madonna

julien janette 1

Macdonald opened with a party starter. Setting the mood he began. Good tree arms. Good presence. Enjoying and good hold start. Good leg movement to Jeanette. Voguing it up. Good arms and enthusiasm working the floor. Carry backward of pro decent. Enjoying the shimmy flow. MacDonald shockingly pleases. Tad slow in parts, but for first week was a surprise enjoyment and could potentially get better if worked on more.

LG – Needs more straightness in legs. Fun to watch.

BT – Madonna! (Bruno Vogues) You can’t be mental all the time, trust me I know.

CRH – You certainly did it but not very well. Hideously flat footed.

DB – Better come back with the same joy.

3, 5, 6, 6 (5)

Deborah and Robin


Money Money Money – ABBA

deborah robin 1

Gent Robin rises Dragon Deborah from Den. In hold twirls decent. Good feet spin round, Keeping up with Robin consistently. Fair kicks from Meaden. Shoves Robin off her chair. More carried than individual but was a good technical beginning.

BT – Very good pitch. You just messed it up in the middle. Beginning good, got into a mess, hanging on to him.

CRH – Lagging behind mostly. Thumb in his armpit and facing the floor, Otherwise surprised,.

DB – Great attack. Pull out of your waist. Very impressed.

LG – Like your attitude. Did mess up a couple of times. Lift your diaphragm a little bit more, but nice, I enjoyed it.

6, 6, 6, 6 (6)

Patrick and Anya


Runaway Baby – Bruno Mars

Strictly Come Dancing

Another new girl Anya Garnis takes hold of Patrick now. Patrick’s knees may cause a problem overall. Let’s just hope he don’t pop ‘n’ lock it.

Good groove start. Strong kicks low down. Decent arm raises diagonally. Concentration on move. Leather jacket off. Reels Anya along. Strong connection in hold but not coming across strong enough out of hold. Good spirituous style.

CRH – Rhythm and energy absolutely fan-tastic. You just need to sort your flat feet out dar-h-ling. Get on to your balls!

DB – The jive is a very hard dance. You have a great fitness level. On kicks, you get flappy feet. Stretch them.

LG – That jive was alive. What it lacked in technique made up for in enthusiasm, energy and attack.

BT – I love somebody who goes for it. Just work on the refinement in the detail, but great debut.

7, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Vanessa and James

Cha Cha

That don’t impress me much – Shania Twain

Strictly Come Dancing

Throw away flowers. Slow on floor. Walks Vanessa down aisle. Flimsy arms and minor steps. Slow carousel James rips open shirt. Well, if all else fails. Comedy routine in middle rather tepid. I know James has his work cut out for him, but it should have been better than that Vanessa.  Loosen up and seem to feel the music, look less serious but contain a serious idea of dancing to go further. Not everything needs to be comedic to hide inaccuracies.

james jordan shirt rip

DB – Cha Cha is bright and cheeky dance. I did miss this. Ballroom you will love it, especially in the arms of your man James.

LG – Got through it not your natural comfort zone.

BT – Lost the Va-Va-nessa. Body has to express same way as your voice does.

[Brendan’s ignorance vividly on show.]

CRH – Too much acting, not enough dancing.

3, 5, 6, 5 (3)

Tess – “Are we saving the best for last?”


Abbey and Aljaz


Kissing You – Des’ree

Strictly Come Dancing 2013

Pronounced Ally-ash. Ab’s proclaimed she was just like the rest of us “Pickin’ up Pete’s dirty undies.”

In training charming Aljaz was baffled when Abbey compared her dancing to “a sack a spuds!” “Sack of what? What’s spuds?” her partner asked. Bless.

Meet and greet into corner spin around, steps to middle. Floaty effervescence. Extremely soft presentation with elegance in abundance. Telling strong narrative. Powerful transcript. Grace of a true professional here. Interested to see more. Resplendent. Strong partnership.

LG – Dance of the night, Well done.

BT – Dreamy, deeply felt. Romantic, great chemistry. Movement wonderful. Incredible debut on Strictly.

CRH – Had a hunch about you two. Gor-ghus!

BD- Very romantic Waltz. Beautiful lines.


Tess – How’s your Strictly experience?

Aljaz – Wonderful up to now, very proud of Abbey, wanna keep going.

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Who shone and who stank?

Aljaz and Abbey stole the show. Julien MacDonald’s number is a guilty pleasure you could watch on repeat. Susanna and Mark have both been surprises unexpected for a greater time on Strictly if worked harder at.

Brendan Cole’s failure to take or give direction along with Aliona’s mirrored ignorance is shameful. Strictly can fire the pair of them next series. They are not needed. Ben Cohen’s sympathy vote and dire dance was not appealing, even if he dances in his pants. Ashley and Ola did not strike a strong cord, which questions, are the hot hunks of 2013 a waste of colossal Strictly time?

grotty snotty brendan

Overall SCD’s beginning shows the mild characters of lower par may be the ones to really shine and rebuff the so called glamour hunks and hunkesses. The lower pecking order are the ones to watch for in this 2013 series of sequins, shimmy’s and spats.

Well, this evening cross a lot of daubs of our 2013 Strictly Bingo Card. We’ll have them uploaded for you later this week. Come back next week for more sequin frolics and mayhem and take our poll below on who you thought fabulous this weekend!

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