Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 6: Halloween

Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 6: Halloween

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This week’s horrific spell in Horrorwood began with the queens of Strictly, skeletous Daly and the one that should have won in Series 3, glitzed up Zoe Ball, sitting in for Claudia Winkleman.The stakes are high and out in full force tonight as the BBC ballroom battle continues.

Doing the judging this week are the judges as ever in the form of the frightful four. Cadaver Craig Revel-Horwood, Bizarre ballerina Darcey Bussell, oranged onion loving count Len Goodman and the horrid hobgoblin Bruno Tonioli. Our frightfully honest score are in brackets to add clarity to the disenchanted lunacy unfolding with overmarking mist.

 

Sunetra and Brendan

Jive

Tainted Love – Gloria Jones

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Tess made her first gruesome joke with no punch. Brendan will be channeling (hah!) a ghost but said he would not get a drink in the bar, as they don’t serve spirits.

‘Creepy’ Cole creeps out from under the bed as Sunetra joins him on the floor. Impish Sunetra was led by unnerving Brendan. Brendan jumps over the bed and runs over the dancefloor. Sunetra doing standard but left on own as The Brendan Show not helping her be shown at all. Basic turn arounds and minor hands adding no real feel outside of rigormortis dar-h-ling. Weak, empty, punitive. What can we say she did? Not much. A shame for Sunetra who tries hard but in serious trouble with danceoff.

Len – Lost your way as it went along.

Bruno – Rumba in middle slowed pace down a little.

Craig – Felt little laboured. Brendan your so naughty. Lacked punch and dynamic.

Darcey – You are happier in the ballroom. Good effort but not your dance.

(Brendan moans, yet again.)

6, 7, 7, 7 (5)

 

Alison and Aljaz

American Smooth

Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush

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Alison is air lifted down in an elegant white wing drop well. Taking on a Heathcliffe character Aljaz worked well with Alison and her feet but took bit of time starting. Good in-hold turns and elegance continuing. Very strong from Alison but danger of being too timid. No lifts in an allowed lift.

Bruno – Like a wind turbine. Be careful when you go in hold. Become ketchy.

Craig – Was one of the campest entrances. Ethereal and angelic until you got to the floor. Wafty arms bit too much, but tribute to Kate Bush. Well done.

Darcey – Fabulous seeing you enjoy everything. You slightly get carried away.

Aljaz – No.

Darcey – It was beautiful.

Len – I’m with Darcey. So masculine coming across the moors. Once in hold, needs bit more movement.

5, 7, 7, 7 (6)

 

Simon and Kristina

Paso Doble

Poison – Alice Cooper

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Poison chalice Kristina and Simon returned after loony Len saved them from their second dance off claiming they had the best footwork. The same footwork frightfully concealed by a misty smoke screen for at less one quarter of their routine. Tonight Black Widow Kristina is becoming a spider. Not for the first time then after Kristina sleeps with most of her partners and breaks up others.

“Rotten” Rhianoff tries to stick Simon in her web as Simon stands and does some acting with his hand. Simon gallops along like he’s down the shops. No attack in drop down spins. Through spins lacking any quality. Pathetic jump of Simon which is a lift. Through legs launch of Kristina daft. Simon kicks leg back and breaks ruling borderlines again. Cheats to win and fails to be of any interest. What a quality save again BBC.

Craig – Ferocious. Lines need accentuating. Commanding performance. Little Haywire darling. (Vocab provided by FalseFabs, obvs.)

Darcey – Conviction. Luckily you saved it. Impressive and very skilled.

Len – For me did enough last two times in dance off. Didn’t deserve to be there. Lacked finesse. Givin’ it plenty? You certaintly did.

Bruno – That’s the way to do it, prove everyone wrong. (That’s the idea.) Put so much power in it. (Backside, mouth, engage.)

(Here comes the over-marking to try and save a failing BBC favourite.)

6, 8, 7, 8 (4)

Tess – What could possibly go wrong with live dancing dogs. What an irony.

 

Steve and Ola

Charleston

Dem Bones Dem Bones – Kay Starr

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Grisly gallivanter and spritey stupidity saw Ola get scared and screamed when numpty Steve said they would venture inside a Museum. Scary being cultured and educated from systemic perversions.

Both pop out in comedy fashion from behind Ancient Egyptian masts, in bones. Very loose and having no oomph or style. Pair stand side by side and move a bit every second. Silly waving jazz hands ruining lunacy. Almost drops Ola on lift. Nothing involved at all and very empty. There was nothing in there except on the spot moments. Sad.

Darcey – Was worried, couple of lags going wrong. About being cheeky, fast and fun. I know you’ve got it in you. (How do you know this?)

Len – Was quirky. Little things, missed it. Fun, enjoyable and nice to watch. (Really?)

Bruno – Your charm. Felt bit held back. I’m sure you’ll be back to dazzle us my darling.

Craig – Lifts very messy. There were, actually, Darcey. Timing completely out. One section went beautifully.

5, 7, 7, 7 (4)

The week of over-marking always exists under Louise Rainbow, so called Executive Producer. Her excellent hits were, if you remember it, The Farm. All her shows have failed since. Keep a favourite in marks ruin any credibility of the BBC. X-Factor styling is why its failing. Sack her and get an actual professional who knows what to do. Though BBC are very bitter at being told how to succeed. All they needed to do was sack a few people in time of a crisis, instead they failed and the Sir Jimmy Savile sex scandal was upon us, revealing how the BBC allowed convicted multiple sex peadophile Sir Jimmy Savile to operate his abuse on the BBC’s door. You cannot remove a knighthood from some when when they die. Sir Jimmy Savile was given unprecedented access to be allowed to attack millions and BBC worker turned a blind eye to the BBC icon.

 

 

Pixie and Trent

Paso Doble

Danger! High Voltage – Electric Six

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Petrified elven Pixie was as frozen as her core. Pumpkin princess it was not.

Pixie gets her hair frizzed in the malfunctioning hair steamer. Good work to the floor and close connection with Trent but lots of over-reliance on Trent. Can’t seem to work on her own and playing routine too safe. Neat footwork and grace with transitions. Failing to boost star quality though.

Len – Loved your verve and energy. Your right arm, kept doing weird things. Loved the number.

Bruno – Listen. Bad Hair Day can’t stop you. Loved quirky details in dance. Don’t forget to condition darling, you’re worth it. (Will BBC be paying L’Oreal extra for that Advert?) (No Product Placement logo shown.)

Craig – Completely full of detail. Fantastic steps. Partnership extraordinary. Fantastic.

Darcey – Fierce and strong. So exciting to watch.

8, 8, 8, 9, (8) (There’s always one.)

 

 

Judy and Anton

American Smooth

Cruella de Vil – 101 Dalmatians

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What is she on? Oh look its BBC infatuation time with tennis ace Andy Murray. Judy’s claim to fame for a successful gene pool couldn’t make BBC’s show any more awkward. Jaunting and daunting, Judy….

Judy rides in on a air car as Anton loses control of two real Dalmatians. Goodness sake. Anton picks Judy up into hold and Judy again talks around like every week previously. Anton lifts her up and around. Still stiff and devoid of any emotion. Not in terms of character. Was lugged around by Anton and did no dancing at all. Has never improved once. Will get the granny votes again.

Bruno – You’re confusing American Smooth with American Stiff. Deliver whats expected from you, nothing.

Craig – Those dogs at beginning had more grace and style. Like dancing with a mannequin.

Darcey – You looked amazing. (Waffles on again.)

Len – Captured the character. Don’t listen to the Warlock over her (meaning Craig) (Yes Len, say all the stuff from the earpiece. Poor Judy, so hard being useless)

Zoe – Sharon Stone is following your progress! (Oh, BBC like celebrity followers instead. They cannot fathom why the show is such a failure now.)

3, 6, 6, 5 (1)

 

Jake and Janette

Paso Doble

Black Betty – Ram Jam

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Jack-o-lantern cape cruiser wizard working darkly magical mystery. Bats fly out of the cape on CGI. Why? Good move to floor. Strong footwork. Commanding role with footwork together and Janette under control. Leading man of Janette. Amazing one leg on floor spin around by Jake with other of Janette’s up to his shoulder.

Craig – Was disappointed. Bit stilted. Steps didn’t seem to connect. wasn’t your best one, sorry.

Darcey – I feel little bit the same. Too upright. I know you have so much ability and know you’ll come back. (

Len – I don’t agree. Get right into the character of the dance. Shaping more exaggerated.

Bruno – As a performer, brilliant.

Nice try BBC, trying to pick on someone we gave praise to unbiasedly as the show and you think its one of our favourites which is not the case. We’ve critiqued fairly and couldn’t care less but BBC think it shall attack ‘our favourites’ to prove an inside point of not liking such critique. Only people you’re ruining are yourselves. We don’t have any. Though you do. Systemic much? Even trying to get Len to sound good after last wee’s wrongful boot off won’t save you from BS.

6, 7, 8, 8 (8)

 

 

Caroline and Pasha

Samba

La Freak – Chic

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Curdling minx Caz and party prince Pasha shake a shocking Samba spirit.Caroline struts her stuff from around the graveyard. Out of the coffin comes, not Sir Jim, but Pasha. They work to the floor well but lacking some real buzz. Watered down and timid than groovy oomph. Like a rehearsal playing to no-one than a crowd. Not best music on this week either. Great track, wrong time. Mismanaged.

Darcey – Mad Hairstyles. Controlled and clean. Sometimes lose the vibe of the dance.

Len – Wasn’t best but wasn’t worst.pasha

Bruno – Hot favourite. never forget it.

Craig – Little phonetic and clean, but I loved it.

7, 8, 8, 9 (7)  (There’s always one. Again.)

 

 

Scott and Joanne

Foxtrot

Addams Family Theme

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Creepy, kooky and plain kack comes Scott Mills. Around and around like a windmill Scottie goes. Someone beam him up to the mothership. He could use a less rigid probe. Should have come out like chuckles the clown. “With Craig, I edit out” Failure to listen is a pathetic quality that get you nowhere fast. The gays can’t save you forever on a poor gay man sympathy vote.

There’s a hand out of a coffin table. Now then… Scott comes to the floor and literally walks around and then lifts arms up in zombified stupidity. He runs around Joanne as his prop to cheesy sounds. Walks around on floor with nothing. Lumbered, cheap and rigid. No dancing on the spot whatsoever. What a poor disgrace for TV. Literally did no dancing. Shameful.

Len – It was fun and entertaining. It was your best.

Bruno – If this was called Strictly No Dancing, you would win. I like you. Was really good fun.

Craig – Sadly, hasn’t really helped you. Anyway…

Darcey – You were terrific. (Someone just boot her off, now.)

3, 6, 6, 6 (0)

 

Tess – A three from Craig?! That was great. What did you think (Asking coffin hand) Is that you Donny? Get back in your box.

Looks like the ghost of Sir Jimmy Savile is still lurking.

 

 

Mark and Karen

Jive

Little Shop of Horrors Theme

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If you’ve ever seen this classic, you might want to turn off. Goon Mark and Karen seem intent on spoiling classic themes every week for a bit of a laugh. There are more laughs in an uphill Mausoleum with this dance application. Mark didn’t show us another episode of his super excellence of ‘Holllywood Nights’ Muhahahhahaa!

Karen gives Mark a glitzy box. The pair then dance on spot and do some aeroplane arms for cheap thrill. Laboured approach. Karen jumps in the dance on her own. Pair accentuate their crutches again. That’s vagina and penis regions, to you and me. Trotting along horse Mark runs over the dancefloor, forgetting what a Jive.

Karen – Gobs off about Mark unfairly. “Everyday he works and works.” Please donate to the Mark Wright bellend continues to dance charity, please.

Bruno – Feed Me! Best dance yet.

Craig – Bravo darling. (How much you getting paid?)

Darcey – Suppleness with those legs, I could go on and on. Got high hopes for you now, babe.

Mark – I don’t expect to do a good dance. (If you want Honesty, listen up, it wasn’t good. Standard and cheesy penis thrusts wont save you from lame steps.)

Len – (Said something brief.)

8, 9, 9, 9 (5) (So the BBC love in continues with systemic, corrupt marking relayed from the top bosses. Yeah that was a world class dance, wasn’t it, BBC? Do you even care about your worldwide reputation? Are you purposely sabotaging yourself for a laugh? You need real PR management. And not David Cameron’s corrupt interventions.)

 

Frankie and Kevin

Tango

Defying Gravity – Wicked

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A contemporary Tango which was a bit lacking and safe with swift in turn saves from Kevin. Keeps spinning around in hold around the center. Cannot dance without Kevin. Leaves him to pick up a broom and be airlifted to the sky to raise a green curtain. Empty and had nothing but Kevin flying around the floor. Really needs to start dancing.

Craig – One Word. FAB-U-LOUS.

Darcey – That was so beautiful. So taken away with your performance.

Len –  That was a spectacular number. (Oh here we go.)

Bruno – Nearly brought me to tears. Technique was superb.

These decisions never help these ‘types’ longterm by getting favours to the final. She won’t win. This performance made that happen with the judges self-loathing for a ‘pretty little girl.’

9, 9, 9, 10 (7)

(The’s always one. Again. This year’s Wagner off X-Factor has landed. Looks like Strictly is about to lose viewers. How clever. Audiences don’t like this sort of lunacy. Neither does Sir Bruce Forstyh, who quit the failing show under Rainbow’s command.)

 

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Steve, Sunetra and Alison

Best dance of night?

Jake and Janette

 

For the BBC trying to meddle with the show and think no-one ever notices was yet another arrogant behaviour just like the Sir Jimmy Savile sex abuse scandal. The ghost of Sir Jim still lies firmly in the BBC’s broom cupboard. Telling the judges to over-mark and save the favourites proved the BBC and its Strictly production team are way out of their depth. At this rate nothing will save it if BBC fails to improve. Trying to rig it to save the faves from the boot, maybe you should not have hire idiots like Scott, Judy and Mark. Strictly used to be respected for its talent and skill. Not any more. Email me to save your backside. You need it more than ever. Strictly’s curtain is coming fast.

What BBC d to do now is sack a number of people. Adding us would also benefit, obviously, but are the BBC too bitter to listen and make a positive because it thinks it is the be all and end all? The licence fee is in serious jeopardy, that’s for sure.

BBC need to sack Rainbow and equally loser producers. Darcey Bussell and Bruno the loono need to go. Just because ‘rival’ Simon Cowell is trying to eye up Bruno for Britain’s Got Talent as his new best friend in secret meetings wont hurt BBC. Very ungracious, too. Len is passable but questionable. Craig is the only saving grace. Karen Hauer needs the sack. Sorry Kevin, but its true. Tess Daly could easily be binned as well. She’s had her chances. The whole comedy ‘how could you, so bad, oh no’ attitude has failed. We gave her a lot of praise. Keep Zoe Ball and Claudia as the new hosts. If Anton is only there to help the aged, then stop hiring oldies and send Anton on his way. It’s not working. Get Anya Garnis back. Why she was dropped was ridiculous. She’s a pro.

BBC aren’t putting on a show anymore. Strictly has now become about how rotten it is from the inside core and needs severe fixing pronto. FalseFabs is also available for consultations. Hit the contact tab and send an email. Put your pride aside and save your brand, or suffer the fallout and rip it apart instead. It’s your choice and the public wont bail you out any longer for further failures. For audiences Strictly has not become fun or entertaining any longer and shadows a sickening perversion of abusing the public trust. Pick those socks up.

 

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Tax this! Gary Barlow’s boyband hit by hefty tax bill

Tax evader Gary Barlow bashed with big bill state rebate

CAMERON BARLOW PALS

After years of tax evasion Gary Barlow and his bandmates Mark Owen and Howard Donald of Take That have been hit with a whopping, £20 million pound tax bill. Jason Orange, however, did not invest in the scheme.

The boys will have to pay back the cash after putting it into a strategy that allowed a specifically designed tax dodge scheme to be implemented.

The scandal has yet to be condemned by UK blabbermouth David Cameron. Cameron, who is good friends with Gary Barlow and has been constantly at events publicly smiling and congratulating the rich tax evader, has yet to say anything.

Condemned. Carr was quickly criticised by Cameron years ago.

Condemned. Carr was quickly criticised by Cameron years ago.

The public are further upset that welfare claimants and poor people are demonised and would serve sentences in jail for these acts if they did so yet rich guys can ‘get away with it.’ Barlow and others will face no charges or public demonisation for their crimes.

X Factor supremo Simon Cowell previously added Barlow was the reason for his shows’ nosedive in millions of ratings losses six months ago.

Tax dodgers.

Tax dodgers.

Barlow got a knighthood from The Queen after he produced a birthday concert for her at the Golden Jubilee celebrations.

A number of high profile business men owes millions in tax avoidance, including Sir Philip Green who owes the state many pounds. David Cameron has only ever been focused on the last four to five years in crushing the poor claimants of £70 a fortnight instead of the tax evading elites who are also said to be his friends.

Cameron took swift commentary attack on comedian Jimmy Carr, who once understood, choose to hold his hands up, admit he was wrong and repaid the cash in a righteous manner. No one else has done so since. Cameron then called Carr “morally wrong.” Since then it was revealed over the years numbers of scandals had occurred in Cameron’s UK Conservatives Party with too many to count as near daily or weekly grind.

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Barlow, receiving Queen’s birthday party gift, rewarding an OBE.

Cameron’s sadistic welfare cuts and attacks on the poor, which are “morally wrong” have been justified by the rich millionaires of the Tory party, including Cameron himself, in what people call lies and deceit as a double standard. Last week a mentally unwell former army troop took his own life in a public display over social network Facebook, to which Cameron has said nothing of. He still believes cuts haven’t affected the lives of many in such severe circumstances making him ‘out of touch’ with the general public.

Cameron’s cabinet, its party donours and unwelcome media attention that the Conservatives can’t meddle with regarding legislation have been under intense scrutiny. The party has been overridden with tax ad expenses scandals including fraudulent behavioural often excused by corrupt tea-leafing Tory politicians.

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Corrupt scumbag Cameron even went on breakfast television this morning to defend Barlow saying “I don’t think that’s necessary” after claims his OBE should be returned. Cameron in viewers minds once again went to protect a public friend, conflicting his political with very personal biased policies. OBE’s are often handed out by the Queen’s favourite friends ‘like sweeties.’ Though Cameron and others said that sexual predator Sir Jimmy Savile lose his knighthood. The answer is you cannot strip someone of a knighthood when they are deceased. Cameron was quick to call for Sir Jimmy Savile to be de-classified with the honour, yet prescribes a free pass to rich friend Gary Barlow. The totalitarian Tory and country leader said Barlow had “raised money for charity with Children In Need” in shameful attempts to claw mother voters for the upcoming general election in one year’s time. “It’s right that they are going to have to pay back the money” Cameron echoed, after failing to take action on his friend and politician Maria Miller who conned the taxpayer and got away with expenses fraud. He still believes if caught you simply pay it back, but welfare claimants who are unlawfully branded con-artists are vilified and serve jail sentences instead.

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Strictly Come Dancing 2013, Week 7 Results

Strictly Come Dancing, Week 7 Results

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This week was spoiled by the BBC and its shoddy iPlayer, so in true fashionable homage to them…

Dave Myers left Strictly.

iPlayer cock up, day 2

The imbeciles at BBC HQ ruined the Strictly experience from a number of viewers providing a huge backlash to the content online. The iPlayer show has yet to be uploaded at 22.53pm. Fans believe the BBC is purposely holding them to ransom with lazy politics of stewing over.

The idiot in control of BBC’s online content decides once again to tell you the ending on the page once again as it front page headline which really pisses fans off. Then the BBC have the cheek to ask how to improve the site and then fail to listen. Sacking ‘Strictly Nora’ seems like a good start.

chris-patten

Fans are dissatisfied with the BBC backward approach and have lost touch with the Strictly experience wherenumbers say they may leave the show just like X Factor before them. If the BBC are to ever turn a corner it needs to stop being so stubborn, biased and spoil dropping every single time. But, that’s a Tory for you. Lord Patton has an infamous reputation since sweeping the Jimmy Savile sex and child abuse paedophilia scandal under the carpet for decades since the 1970s with a ‘groupie gets abused’ culture in dressing rooms. Incompetent Lord Patten had been called to MPs over the BBC scandal over the past two years involving millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money being spent on payoff’s for incompetent directors.

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Strictly Come Dancing 2013, Week 7

SCD Week 7

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Next week is the prestine glamour that is the Blackpool arena. All couples are so desperate to reach the heights of the sparkly tower, week seven now begins, tougher than ever.

Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman host the week with the most at stake outside of the glitterball trophy.

Natlie Gumede was taken ill and wont dance on the show this evening. See the positive. It gives someone an opportunity to cacth up with the public.

Ben and Kristina

Jive

Jump Jive an’ Wail – Burn the Floor Orchestra

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This week Ben is decisding to tick the ‘get the gays’ box again by dressing as a stereotypical sailor, which doesn’t contradict his bullying foundation one iota does it? Gay men do not like being stereotyped as one way and this is feeding back into that and labelling them as dirty gays which the community links we have to are not impressed with.

Smiley and wavey Ben on steps. Kristina lone dances. Ben then trampolines onto the floor. Feet very spaky side to side peddling. arms awful in air wafting about aimlessly. Out of ync pin with partner off somewhere else. Pair do a lift with jump at same time. Slow legs back and forth like a wheel cycle. Awkward leg over Krstina’s face showing thigh into her face. Ben chases her to ruffle her dress. Kristina shoves Ben back onto floor which is a second lift to fall down on his back. There was no pace, two lifts, weak movement, steps too rigid and sleeze appeal for women and gays. It was shambolic. It wasn’t a Jive, what-so-ever.

Len – You need to work on your feet.

Bruno – Had irresisable urge to join the navy. Bit wobbly at the bottom. Jive is alll about sharpness. Stay on your toes and sharp on feet. Otherwise, as always, very impressive.

Tess – Do you agree?

Craig – No I dont as a matter of fact. I thought best part of it was the back somersault. Too leden, too laboured as expected.

Ever predicatable Len interrupts – Thats your trouble you exepected thatand so in your mind you were gonna get it.

Craig – That is so untrue. Obvioulsy I know your carrying heavy muscles there.

Infatuated Bruno adds – Nothing wrong with that.

Craig continues – Difficult to keep up pace. Despite your best seamen efforts that is, a, failure.

Hormonal Darcey screams – I disgaree! I disagree! I disagree. (Claps ring from the audience in a glorified pantomime of the dancing show based on fancy votes and lack of skill.)

Comedy frowning sympathy vote Ben hugs gay Bruno.

Darcey finishes off – You proved us wrong. Great attack, great energy. I enjoyed it.

Kristina – OMG he’s gonna put us down…

4, 7, 8, 7 (3)

Fiona and Anton

Paso Doble

Song 2 – Blur

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Fiona working cape around waist strongly. Good arm around extentions. Keeping up well with Anton and holding her own in routine. Keeping stance and charcter well throughout. Great spin around on end with Anton for glamour girl Fiona.

The greatness of the Dave Arch Orchestra was recognised.

Bruno – I like your dark side. When you go spunky and dark and aggressive. Crnky with the skirt. Timing was actually better than his. You ket it going when something went wrong. Well done.

Craig – Thoughtyou had a good use of skirt darling. Timing precise. However do lose your neck. Pull shoulders back. Little bit indifferent. Little bit vanilla. Adequate but have to say, forgetable.

Biased Tess leaps into the comments – Darcey tell ‘im ‘es’s wrong!

Darcey – Very nice shapes of the arms. Like to see it come from the back.

Len – Element of Falmenco in there. I thought you could have given it a bit more of a firs. Bit more wow. Would have liked you to have stepped up a notch. Well done.

5, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Abbey and Aljaz

Charleston

Cabaret – Liza Minelli

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After the BBC have failed to invite me out of my room to the live studio (your problem, not mine) Abbey and Aljaz had strong presence but step and arms were a little flighty and sweet lacking sharp attack. Good spin around lift onto Aljaz. Good sass but run of the mill. Very ordinary and though she may be saved this wee from dance off depths, has affected her with a timid entry. Abbey gave a good performance and while we think she’ll get the votes this week, it wasn’t mesmerising and could be in the bottom two soon next week if her game isn’t raised with more going for it style than a laid back approach in the routine. That’s advice.

Craig – Stylisation. Enourmous attention to detail incredible. Did not Charleston quietly. Loud. It was proud.

Darcey – To have a hat and do all those things with it. That monkey step at the end, great. Well done Aljaz, you have made a true dancer out of Abbey.

Len – That is AA. That isnt a breakdown at all. Saty in that car, get up the M1, I’ll see you next week in Blackpool.

Bruno – Abey the it girl. Had a bossy influence. Very unsual and very exciting.

9, 9, 9, 9 (8)

Mark and Iveta

Rumba

Goldfinger

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Blofeld. Iveta seduces the dark and cold chair swirling villian Benton. Good arms and effort but still ‘on the spot’ dancing. Very slow and not playing strenght to dark music. Waits for Iveta to fall into arms. Very empty and throw away, which is a shame for effort given.

Darcey – Mmm, well. Rumba is a dance of love. If only you have drove the floor as you did your wifes pussycat… Bit too bitty for me. Always create an interesting story.

Len – Got gold in your fingers bit of lead in your bum. Rumba is a very diffciult dance for men. Get balance right is tricky business.

Bruno – You tried goldfisnger, look like a fish finger darling. Characterisation spot on. Movement didn’t flow.

Craig – My point is your arms. Hands need shaping. Beautiful arms acheived gorgeously, but hand like spatulas. Concept that actually saved this dance.

Claudia looking like a condom cum femidom now.

claude femidom 7

5, 6, 7, 5 (5)

Susanna and Kevin

Waltz

You Light Up My Life – Whitney Houston

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While getting into back to front hold with Kevin behind Susanna leading into twirl around floor gracefully. Smooth but minimal pace. Good and strong rotations. Tidy footwork. Good pull tiptoe glide into lovely spin round end. However was a little empty in parts.

Len – You lit up this ballroom. Fabulous.

Bruno – Timeless. It was beautiful.

Craig – I could not agree more. Brought that frock to life. Hesitation moments beautifully held. I loved it.

Darcey – The boys totally right. So many turns, beautifully done. Love you to strecth a little firther the length in your legs.

9, 9, 9, 9 (8)

Dave and Karen

Tango

I’m Gonna be – The Proclaimers

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Slow and uneventful star and hold in what should have been a sharp thrust together at start. Turns not sharp or interesting. Like watching a puppet moving. Slow tiny one pace steps are unforgivable disaster. Standing there as Karen jiggles shoulders. Given Strictly Myles flag to hold up. Pathetic.

Bruno – Oh Dave. It wasn’t any Tango at all. Stomping around like beast of burden. No passion. It was walked. You look like a crab.

Craig – Little rough around the edges, lets say. Very stompy.

Darcey – So much more dance content than any other dance you’ve done.

FF – (You sure about that?)

Len – Needed a bit more Irn-Bru.

4, 6, 6, 4 (1)

Natalie and Artem

Jive

Proud Mary – Ike and Tina Turner

Bye. Gumede granted week off due to illness in training.

Bye. Gumede granted week off due to illness in training.

Artem spoke to Claudia after the explaination of the bye for Natalie after she had collapsed in training. The rules were clarified considering her health. As above, it gives everyone else a chance to up their game in the contest. We wish Natalie well as did Tess and the Strictly team and professionals.

Ashley and Ola

Quickstep

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? – Jet

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Strong arms into routine on point. Into hold for contemporary hop along movement held well. Good twirl out of Ola in hold followed with consitent movement around floor. Feet bit careful. Bit timid clicking heels together after. Strong speed towards end jump up on Judges table, collapsing on their slab.

Darcey – Origins come from Jazz era of 1920s. Consistent all the way through. improvement int he angle of your head and top line.

Len – Kept your energy up throughout the dance. Taylor Made.

Bruno – A bit of spit and polish and the sparks are flying. Contorol all over. Your frame was better, Footwork and Timing better.

Craig – Frame and posture is fixing, now have to fix all the gapping. Fantastic energy. Occasionaly took your footwork into your upper body. I thought it was amazing.

8, 9, 9, 9 (9)

Sophie and Brendan

Argentine Tango

Sweet Dreams – Tanghetto

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Strong begin. Timid follow through. One leg movement on gauucho. Walking around with Brendan. Intimate stare. Brendan’s favourite lift spins around Bextor. Flatline afterward. Sits down on chair picked by Brendan. Ends on minor hold down. Nothing over than legs, pout and walking. All hype, barely no action. And before Snotty Grotty Brendan moans and fails to listen, we are impartial, not biased. Look, we even have all of Sophie Ellis Bextor’s albums. So stick yer moany beak elsewhere. Thanks.

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Len – Loved the story of it. Great lifts.

Bruno – Relase the fire. Needs more tregth and variety.

Craig – Few unstable moments.

Brendan again cuts in and mocks critique for no jusitfiable reason other than childishness.

CRH – Holding yourself so solid, thought you were gonna fall over.

Darcey – Magic position, beautiful lines.

8, 8, 8, 8 (6)

Patrick and Anya

American Smooth

It Had to Be You – Harry Connick Junior

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Good working around floor but no engagement to influence people again. Needs to capture people fromt he off. Great lift and style with partner. Excellent charisma. Powerful up shoulders lift swirl around down of Anya. Ends strongly. Hwoever, missing key element to grab pepole’s instant attention for votes.

Bruno – So hard to do back in then out.

Craig – Exquisite, exciting. You are the best male celeberity in this comeptition.

Darcey – You ooze style. Perfection. Showed no weeknesses.

Len – As Henry VIII would say, take him to the tower.

(Someone read our mind earlier in the week, then :o)

9, 10, 9, 9 (9)

iPlayer Abuse yet again

Disgruntled fans of the show were miffed as the BBC specifically chose to make the decision not to put the iPlayer show up yet and keep people waiting to mess about with media reports on purpose. The BBC are playing a dangerous game with public opinon. The website has uploaded all the details, backstage gossip and important things to itself even showing the next broadcasts of the show but no Week 7 broadcast. Fans are fed up with the abuse from the BBC website, where clips are uploaded, even now. Many have hit out at the failings of the horrid and ghastly looking website which fails with mismangement. No-one cares either for the ‘backstage’ coverage on the website, which the BBC can never manage correctly. They are too stubborn to listen to advice or people who can make it successful. That’s the abusive bigotry on offer at the Beeb.

The BBC continues to remain backward in failing to give the public, who fund the BBC through taxes from the licence fee, their fundamental right to view content the player is designed for. This is a constant malpractice by the Beeb. iPlayer is a worldwide service.

The BBC are still reeling from failing to handle the Jimmy Savile child abuse case where the pedophile hero of the BBC in the past still dominates the covered up failings by the organisation to deal with a crisis nor give the public what they are paying for.

21.51pm – At this time I send the tweet out explaining its failure to the public. “#BBC #Iplayer is yet another cock up. They are losing huge support from everyone over the abuses to not upload #SCD

21.58pm – BBC upload the content of the week 7 show now.

It always amazes me that just AFTER I tweet, the show is then uploaded.  You can thank me later. And dont ever question my authority again. I have pull.

Danger zone

Who are the top three dancers that could fall into the bottom two?

Fiona, Mark and Susanna

Results to follow…

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SCD Pro Partners Revealed

The professional couples have been paired with their celebrity partners for the Autumn dance supershow.

The show opened with a traditional BBC black and white gimmick talking about the Wimbledon victory for Andy Murray, the Ashes win in cricket, (which no one watched) and now the title for Stircitly was up for grabs. It was not necessary and added nothing to the show. Was it in no way current, either.

Bruce got the show going already ticking off our Strictly Bingo card (uploaded later) with a funky dance move tapping his way on set energetically.

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Strictly Come Dancing will allow the couple’s three weeks to train with their pro. The list of pairings is below.

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Sophie Ellis Bextor pairs with predicted Brendan Cole.

Deborah Meaden bulks up with beefy Robin Windsor.

Natalie Gumede shimmy’s with Artem Chigvintsev.

Rachel Riley pairs up with Pasha Kovalov. High rumours began beforehand of no secret James Jordan wanted Riley. His visible face was a tad disappointed.

Jessie J – It’s my Party

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Jessie J returned to belt out her new hit on the kick off show. The track is too bassy and ultrasonic in parts. The composition doesn’t really fit together ultimately, but is a feel good song for one time. Not sure how much it cost taxpayers to invite a ton of raver extra’s on the set though. They weren’t needed in such high quantity waving their glow sticks. Why confetti was dropped for a song at the end was beyond belief.

Patrick Robinson beats alongside Anya Garnis.

Ashley Taylor Dawson collapsed in joy after bagging Ola Jordan. Taylor also acknowledged his boy band days in pop group All Stars. We knew the band was allstars but left a red herring in our previous post for the Beeb. We have to make them do some jounralism instead of plagiarisng us constantly, don’t we?

Julien Macdonld will dance with Janette Manrara. Interestingly, after Julien was asked by hostess Tess as Julien talked about getting all the sequins. and dancers he replied “Give me them all” with extravagance, as both professional dancers Aliona Vilani and Kristina Rhianov showed there distaste and appalling levels of homophobia. (See Ben Cohen below.) The BBC edited this out of their iPlayer footage.

Tony Jacklin bunked up with Aliona Vilani.

Abbey Clancy was overjoyed to nab hunk Aljaz Skorjanec.

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Fiona Fullerton snared her own Bond beau Anton DuBeke.

Vanessa Feltz joined James Jordan.

Susanna Reid took the new boy Kevin Clifton.

The judges were asked on the pairings for their thoughts. Craig Revel Horward added they were “reasonable”. He also added James Jordan may need to pray for a miracle whilst working with Vanessa Feltz.

Rod Stewart – Can’t Stop Me Now

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Icon Stewart performed with a great rendition of his latest hit. Afterwards Brucie asked Rod when he would be donning the sequin top and glitzy shoes. Rod said he would “love to” participate in the dancing contest. Which then begs the question, why haven’t the BBC asked him yet? There’s always next year.

Louis and Flavia re-performed their winning dance from last year if the Charleston. They should have just left it alone. Flavia won’t be joining the show this year due to preganncy but plans to return next year. Please do not flaunt the farce that is money stain and inept dancer Louis all over the show and in audience, please.

Dave Myers chaperoned Karen Hauer.

Ben Cohen scored Kristina Rhianov. BBC made some good pairings, mostly predictable, on the show, but faces a challenge in name worth of celebs. Pairing beefy stud Ben Cohen with sexy siren Kristina was a dumb choice based on a couple that look sexy together for the BBC. It’s ironic that the BBC booked a man who campaigns for gay rights was joined by a homophobic dancer, They really thought that one through, didn’t they? They should have paired him with Iveta. The BBC can fire them next series, unless it likes creating more crisis. The ghost of Jimmy Savile still haunts the BBC after failing to take any direct action on the matter years on.

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Mark Benton took Iveta Lukosiute.

It was interesting to see the prominent unmovable reaction guy in the background of Tess and Bruce from the Channel 5 Big Brother production team and phone room staring into the hard camera.

This year see’s two new males join the show and last year’s stand-in Iveta Lukosiute who became a new addition last year after replacing an injured pro dazzled on the show. She makes her full on signing this year. Technically its her second series but first in major prominence as a Strictly signee.

Five in total are the newbie professionals featuring Iveta Lukosiute,  Anya Garnis, Janette Manrara, Kevin Clifton and Aljaz Skorjanec.

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Vincent Simone and Flavia Cacace have departed from the show alongside original Erin Boag. Natalie Lowe injured her ankle two weeks before the show devastating producers who promptly rehire recently sacked star Aliona Vilani.

Let’s just hope they clarify the rules on whether lifts will be allowed or not. Lifts unspecified often lose points as a rule break with certain judges.

The show also upgraded to a brand new arena capable of seating more audience members, according to the BBC. But will they allow anymore in?

The show commences on the 27th September and the following evening in a two parter starter.

Craig also gave the hopefuls crucial advice to “listen to their professionals, accept critique and don’t answer back.”

Good luck!

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