Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 5

Strictly Come Dancing 2015:
Week 5

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Back are the regular hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman with the four judges Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno. FalseFabs will once again score in brackets with honest, accurate and non over-marking lunacy in brackets.

The fabulous orchestra of Dave Arch are providing the live music as great as ever.

Georgia and Giovanni

Salsa

You Make Me feel (Mighty Real) – Sylvester

scd 15 georgia 5
Flat start with a good beat lost. Giovanni trying to encourage movement which is tad clumsy. Cheap lift for show only after lacking buzz. No hips. Bad spin transitions and weak sluttisim relied on with boobs twirling on the spot. Disgusting. One dimensional lads vote attempt won’t save her forever and lacks real class. No actual skill and ruined chances to give it some wellie. Lost opportunity.

Len – Terrific routine.

Bruno – You are a gorgeous little scrumpet. Didn’t know where to look. Lifts incredibly ambitious.

Craig – Thought legs little bit uncontrolled. Little bit wobbly. Outward-ness is poor. Could see every lift coming. Make it freeflow dance.

Darcey – It was all there. (Are the teeth grinding? How much they paying you?)

7, 8, 8, 8 (6)

Carol and Pasha

Viennese Waltz

I’ve Been Loving You Too Long – Seal

scd 15 carol 5

Slow entering dance at start. Very walking on the spot and not yet into hold too long being lost. ried but was so weak and poor at moving around here and there a bit with no speed. Tepid. Lacking any oomph or skill. May look elegant and try charm offensive but utterly weak and empty.

Bruno – Tried a lot of content. Romance of a cleaning session. Participate. Kind of blandish. Come on Week 5. (Bout time you spoke some sense.)

Craig – That was nasty Bruno. Arms never quite reached destination. Much safer in hold. Can see some light.

Len – You’ve had no dance training whatsoever. (Yeah, but it’s Week 5 now. That was a week 2-3 performance. Unacceptable when NO improvement at all. Don’t lose your mind, please.)

4, 6, 6, 5 (4)

Anita and Gleb

Tango

Sweet Disposition – Temper Trap

scd 15 anita 5

Strong start with personality and style. Good into hold but bit slow to get going. Good side steps in hold down aisle but looking too intense in face. Good back swivel kicks and smooth and classy glide circle before end well. Another compact performance but needs to boost connection, lose inhibitions and sex appeal to grow further as a pair.

Craig – Really loved. Sharp, focused. Loved it.

Darcey – Unusual Star Trek contemporary feel. Impressive. You’ve got the others fighting for a place.

Len – Liked the darkness of it. Clean. Very, very good.

Bruno – Queen of the Klingons! Loved the arrogance. Played with disdain. I liked that. Withheld aggression. Whose gonna win? You did very well.

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Peter and Janette

Rumba

Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran

scd 15 peter 5

Good sway frame at start. Not too overdone and slow build up works for them but needs bit more something there if doing that. Good posture and arms but not very leading of Peter as man must always lead a Rumba. Could use more that sappy, loved up charmer this week. Usually good and decent form but lacked something missing. Always tough for male celeb’s. Not tonight’s dance.

Darcey – I believe you have a lot more to give. Still very good Rumba. Difficult.

Len – Realise how difficult for male celebrities it really can be. I thought you pitched it pretty damn good. Little bit more fluidity through footwork.

Bruno – Love your commitment to character. Give everything you got. Continuous motion. Have to caress it.

Craig – Lack a certain resistance and pressure on floor. Think that’s what everyone is getting at. Loved way you presented it. (Gives props to Janette.)

7, 7, 8, 7 (7)

Kirsty and Brendan

Viennese Waltz

This Year’s Love – David Gray

scd 15 kirsty 55

Bit awkward on first spin into hold. shouldn’t have started at top of stairs. Too long and awkward getting down them. Awkward hobbles on the floor in hold. Tender spins but cameraman focusing on Kirsty’s face and not feet to cover up lies on feet. Feet together but clumsy on next spin transition. Very bumpy footwise and quite limp as a dance despite effort. Tried but off.

Len – Took longer to get down them stairs than me on one leg and a cruthch. When you got fdown you pulled it off big time. (Pfft.)

Craig – Actually dancing tonight., that’s one fgood thing. Shoulder up, little softer hands.

Darcey – I know how dizzy you became. Well done.

(Crank up the bu**s**t-ometer.)

7, 7, 8, 7 (6)

Ainsley and Natalie

Jive

Shake, Rattle and Roll – Bill Haley and the Comets

scd 15 ainsley 55

To train ANt gave Ains a light reaction device. Should have done the dance mat. 🙂 Good character in th Striclty cafe., more like a diner. Really good back hold shaking at start. Enjoying the dance but bit limp in hands. Need bit more refinement. Really good partnership with Natalie once more in light, fluffy and tasty routine. Great fun but needed more speed and technique to be a full on Jive. Always another difficult dance for a male celeb.

Bruno – You make me laugh. You were trying really to keep on time.

Craig – Does need to be more technical at this point. Everything haphazard.

Darcey – If you can be slightly cleaner and crisper.

Len – Bit shake, rattle and roll and a bit Shake ‘n’ Vac. (It’s all you have to do!!) Fun, rhythm, entertainment.

4, 6, 6, 5 (5)

Jamelia and Tristan

Foxtrot

Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion

scd 15 jamelia 5

Princess Jamelia leaves the horse carriage to join Tristan in a tender start with good arms, frame and grace. Feet bit slow and worrying. Great musicality. Strong spins with Tristan and Jamelia’s bums sticking out. Would like more connection between the two than just Tristan leading to show off their partnership more. Play to that strength to be more powerful. Dishy Tristan proposes over a tea set.

Craig – End went horribly wrong. Need to bring feet together at least once.

Darcey – Beautiful feel, held on to top line. Lost confidence. Great improvement in ballroom.

Len – More comfortable with Latin. Uptight in Ballroom. Not all bad.

Bruno – Very pleasant. Went wrong. Don’t just stop.

5, 7, 7, 7 (6)

Katie and Anton

Salsa

It Had Better Be Tonight – Michael Buble

scd 15 katie 5
Anton channels the Man from Del Monte this week. Good start with Katie rubbing his leg from behind with hers. strong shimmy and personality. Good work arounds with speedy, style and passion. Great music fits the dance and their rhythm. Smooth and cheeky with a real dance aptitude. Great lifts and ending spin in Anton’s arms longways out. FAB-U-LOUS! Lose inhibitions more., feel fully comfortable with Anton and dance. Forget whose watching and go for it.

Darcey – Just messy in places, sadly. Latin isn’t your strength. (Well at least she disagreed with something for once, built was wrong-ish about some of it.)

Len – Gotta get your bum in this.

Bruno – Work on grounding it. (Swivel’s hips)

Craig – Little bit sticky in places. Falling out of turns. Right about hip action. No Figure 8 whatsoever. Basic. Sadly was just a shimmy. Dreadful, dreadful Salsa. (It had something though, didn’t it?)

4, 6, 6, 5 (6)

Jeremy and Karen

Waltz

She – Elvis Costello

scd 15 jeremy 5

Feet very slow and boring but controlled for what its worth. Okay drag of Karen pointing toe on ground along. Standing on the spot and not extending enough as Karen does it around him. Too rigid once again, but kept a cheap and stable performance to look good. Probably his best even though was cheaply hiding lacking technique. Why is it just so boring and mundane?

Bruno – A book that went out of publishing 50 years ago. Zombified grin in you. Didn’t drive it for me.

Craig – Shapeless, ploddy, gaping all over place. Looked like you were dragging a log. Series of still pictures for me.

Darcey – Absolutely charming.

3, 5, 6, 4 (3)

Helen and Aljaž

Quickstep

You Can’t Hurry Love – Diana Ross and The Supremes

scd 15 helen 5

Dainty start with feet full focus for all to judge. Finally in hold getting speed going well. Good feet and sweet trots along. Fancy feet kicks out. Hoppy, sweet but needs more oomph. Bit too pretty and needed some rough and powerful parts to fully connect further. Go for it.

Craig – One word darling. FAB-U-LOUS! (Who knew?)

Darcey – Loved it.

Len – Little bit of gaping. Could have extended out top more. Right on track.

9, 9, 8, 9 (8)

Jay and Aliona

Paso Doble

It’s My Life – Bon Jovi

scd 15 jay 5

Wrong music. Horrible start and stand on spot theatrics. Weak pull apart moments and like a mannequin in shop window posing with hands at sides with music timing. Lacked rhythm and lost fluidity. Felt more like a battle between the pair to grab and hold one another. Flings Aliona around floor for some cheap buzz. Failry empty as a dance and will be highly over-marked with BS. Producers are desperately trying to fix the show for the former dance trained student.

Craig – Could have had more menace. Great lines. Great dance.

Darcey – Best male arms I’ve seen from male celebrity. (Yeah….)

Len – Can’t agree. It was okay. They were good. Don’t make a thing about it everyone. Had your haircut and gone from strength to strength.

Bruno – Yeah! It was the bull’s BOLLOCKS!

Tess apologises for language as Len looks disgusted and Darcey holds her hands in her head. (All a load of bulls**t isn’t it?)

Jay is soo sexy. He should win. He’s sooo sexy. Let’s make a win out of a plain nobody that isn’t that sexy and can’t fully dance well, despite cheating with dance training and a fix from producers to win. Aliona did this a few years back with then stud Harry Judd and Matt Baker. Both were not seen as enlightening to Aliona’s credentials.

8, 9, 8, 8 (7) (It must be menopause week.)

Kellie and Kevin

Jive

One Way or Another – One Direction

scd 15 kellie 5

Wrong musicality. Can’t work a Jive on this tune. It shows. Kev waves a top secret newspaper around. Kellie takes time to come on and pick up a briefcase. They clap a bit. The hat and the sparkly dresses look terrible. The musicality did not work for the Jive and loose jumps all over the place. Messy stamps and very clunky. Looked like cabaret on heat. Watch out Liza! Unflattering and empty. Forgettable dance. Can you remember it and relay it right now? Nope. Are they taking the mick or just plain juvenile?

Bruno – Victory!

Craig – Bit more retraction in leg, but brilliant.

8, 9, 9, 9 (7) (What lunacy is this?! Juvenile Producers.)

That was it. The end has happened and voting begins.

As always we list the three who could be likely to leave, in no particular order, based on the performances.

Danger Zone

Katie, Ainsley and Carol

Results to follow.

IMAGES

Guy Levy

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 4, The Results

Strictly Come Dancing 2015:
Week 4, The Results

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A cheesy, flat and outdated group dance of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun with Wild Boys made the girl and guy pro’s look so pathetic. We all know they can dance. With Neon Lights and sparkles that did not justify paying a Licence Fee. Cheap cocktails with Brendan were poor.

The first set of results are revealed by host Tess Daly. Making it through to next week, in no particular order, are – Peter and Janette. Joining them are Anita and Gleb, Jeremy and Karen, Katie and Anton and Ainsley and Natalie.

The first in the dance off are Daniel and Kristina.

The second set of results were later revealed in no particular order. Safe are – Helen and Aljaz, Kellie and Kevin, Georgia and Giovanni, Jamelia and Tristan, Jay and Aliona and Carol and Pasha leaving Kirsty and Brendan in the dance off.

scd 15 do 5

Music came from the talented but overlooked Voice mentor Will Young. Great to see good talent back on television.

Will Young

Len’s Lens was on to give us a chance to pop the kettle on. All sorts of nonsense were discussed with Claudia and the judges.

The dance off

Daniel and Kristina

American Smooth

Fly Me to the Moon – Frank Sinatra

scd 15 daniel 5 do

Off on a busman’s holiday? Missing a lot of oomph, buzz and connection. Cleaner but empty. No partnership despite effort from Daniel. Slow spins. Limp movement on floor.

Kirsty and Brendan

Paso Doble

Beautiful Day – U2

scd 15 kirsty 5

Slow start. Limp arms. No passion. Wrong music. Circling only. Dancing around Brendan like a Totem Pole. No attack, character or Paso content. Pitiful and only just bearable because of Daniel’s failings.

The Judge’s Vote

If there is a tie lead judge Len will casting the deciding vote.

Craig – Kirsty and Brendan

Darcey – Kirsty and Brendan

Bruno – Less mistakes. Kirsty and Brendan

Len – I did agree.

Daniel O’Gonnell

O’Donnell left the show but gave praise to Kristina as the gentlemanly way he is. That could not be enough endorsement for the maneating nymphomaniac who gave no skill to this contest and allowed him to fail because he was “an old man” as she put it.

Kristina said he was “so easy to work with.” Easy when no-one says anything.

IMAGES

BBC

Guy Levy

Polari Magazine

Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 4, (Unofficial) 80’s Week

Strictly Come Dancing 2015,

Week 4: (Unofficial) 80’s Week

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This week is a glorious (or pitiful depending on how you look at it) attempt at recreating the (unofficial) 80’s magic, on the Strictly dancefloor. Flares, glitzy sequins and shaggy perms were all the rage back in the day and tonight Strictly, in pure comedy season, let us down once again. Cheap and tacky cocktails with sad interactions did not shine a glittering light on this series as yet.

Tess and Claudia return in what could only be described as Edward Scissorhands let loose on the wardrobe department. A loss of dress structure to look, err, different (?) certainly achieved it. Halloween Week is in two weeks.

Back are the four judges Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno, along with FalseFabs, (in brackets), giving their honest and insightful critique online. We keep it real from the lunacy of over-marking that ruins the show entirely.

Dave Arch and his crew of singers and percussionist perfections are on hand to help Orchestra.

Anita and Gleb

Samba

Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira

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The first of the series for the Samba. Anita! Anita! Gleb is a groovy DJ this week as Anita gets some good wiggling sass on her shimmys. Fun filled dance and music set the mood. Feet were decent but a little lacking this week. Great attempt with lots of enthusiasm. Still a hot partnership, but needs to get more passionate together and lose confidence blockers.

Craig said it was a little stiff as Len noted it took some time to get started. Darcey felt Anita’s determination but was sidetracked by gorgeous Gleb. He has some interesting white trousers, which looked totally cool. He lost his shirt in the auditorium, nicknamed the Claudeatorium in honour of Claudia.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Daniel and Kristina

American Smooth

Fly Me to The Moon – Frank Sinatra

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On the fourth week Kristina gave troubled Daniel a spot of cheap puns again. He’s now a pilot to fit the music piece. Lacking smoothness and attack. Dry and tepid. No action, weak arms and basic steps. Not good enough for this week’s standard. Should be much more improved than baby steps.

Darcey enjoyed the take-off and landing lifts. Who wouldn’t? (That’s sarcasm, if your guessing.)

5, 6, 6, 6 (3)

Kirsty and Brendan

Paso Doble

Beautiful Day – U2

scd 15 kirsty 5

A modern Paso which lacked skill, style or passion. Blergh! Just as nauseatin as her dress colours. Kirsty attempts to try but her trying is simply trying, on us. No connectivity, no sharpness, no oomph. A wet lettuce strained to the ringer. Dull, useless and all over the place. Shoddy arms and all a bit choppy. Embarrassing.

Craig – As much shape as a broomstick. (Brendan is the knobs on, bit then? :o)

Len – Like paella. Tasty in places but not others.

4, 6, 6, 5 (3)

Georgia and Giovanni

Quickstep

Reach – S Club 7

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The disturbing relationship between these two with Lothario Giovanni fawning over bubblegum pop come sublime tart Georgia is somewhat distasteful. Regardless, their dance was weak. Too much skips which were off and footwork was adequate but not fantastic. Looked very amateurish. Too much based on vanity and looks than actual dancing to carry their votes loses their dance aptitude. Oh, and I do love how they listened to one tweet of ours. After commenting we would keep rival show X Factor’s ‘Italian with wings on’ tonight Giovanni, an Italian, is wearing wings!

Darcey was in typical gush mode. She said it was a dream to watch and lied through her teeth again. If this continues, then what is the actual point of her being on the show? To fancy ever cheap bloke thrown at her? Classy Darcey Len said last week. More like Tarty Darcey.

She added Georgia lost her shoulders.

Len said it was more drab than fab. So how can you constitute the mark you are about to give?

Craig said she needed to smile more. (Both are way too serious.)

Bruno blabbed about something which was not really translatable. Bruno and Giovanni, sitting in a tree… (I don’t think he is your ‘type’ Bruno and he would not hesitate to punch you down.)

7, 7, 9, 8 (6)

Jeremy and Karen

Jive

Splish Splash – Bobby Darin

scd 15 jeremy 5This was utterly horrendous. Jeremy looking like rigormortis on the floor with the pure definition of creep. It was disturbing and not dance thrills. It was scary, hobbling and clunky with feet, shoulders and lunges. Karen dressed up in rehearsals as a Fraggle. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! At least she did something good. Fraggle Rock. Though the incorporation in the dance ruins all the fun. He just as not, got, it. We are trying to see something good, but where is it?

Len said he was not the most consistent dancer but most fun.

Bruno reckoned it was artistic. Maybe you want to visit a museum with Caravaggio, Picasso or Michelangelo? Are you purposely taking the p*ss?

Craig said it was like watching a stork dancing being struck by lightning.

3, 6, 6, 5 (3)

Kellie and Kevin

Foxtrot

Dream a Little Dream – Mama Cass

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Kellie used her grandparents love story as inspiration in a touching tale on the floor tonight. Good posture, strong feet and decent frame. Strong partner in lovable Kevin helps connection further. A gorgeous routine and great content with moderate run through despite minor bits not being completely perfect. It is Week 5, so plenty to aim for. Has capability to do so but must get closer to Kevin and let go and feel the party spirit.

Bruno said it was nostalgic, like watching a documentary on BBC4. He meant it as a compliment but was lost on many of the audience who don’t know what that actually is. Nostalgic? Any old word will do now?

Craig said it was clean and confident.

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Jamelia and Tristan

Charleston

Straight Up – Paula Abdul

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Jamelia didn’t look too classy with her get up. Less ragtime more shagtime with a Pretty Woman / Julia Roberts wig on. Her dress wasn’t too grand. Ah well, here we go. Strong spins and turns from Jamelia but little dizzy coming out of them and has habit to lose herself from Tristan’s swift flings. Many might feel that way looking at him. Amazing lifts with classy feel and great rhythm.

Craig thought it was Jamelia’s dance.

Len added it was her best dance with knobs on. (Tristan looks better than Brendan at this point.)

Bruno said she was right on it, the ultimate flapper. (Thank goodness he didn’t mean fluffer.)

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Jay and Aliona

Quickstep

My Generation – The Who

? What is this?

? What is this?

After last week’s seriously over-marked Jive which was only worth a seven, Jay has been put on a mega pedestal. It was revealed last week that Jay has had dance training and he choreographed routines for his defunct boyband. This week was horrible and really exposed how not great he actually is. Both start by running on the dance. Once in hold, used as protection, was basic. Strong gallops and patchy footwork did not look great. It was a total mess and completely collapsed in the middle to end. What a shambles. Such a good idea to mark high for producer’s ego’s to outdo the previous Jive of Jill Halfpenny, which is Strictly’s best ever.

Darcey could not lie anymore and said there were too many mistakes.

Len thought it was very fast and Jay’s brain could not handle the steps.

Bruno said his bum was sticking out.

Craig finished with too many mistakes.

5, 7, 6, 7 (4)

Carol and Pasha

Paso Doble

Espana Cani – Trad

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Where to begin. This was much better than all her previous non-dances, but used the Paso as an opportunity to cover up taking it easy. This far in the competition, Carol must deliver something. Her arms were too animated and limp. Lacked sharpness, but had some tension. Was still a dance on the spot thing, but moved a tad more than before. Better but still not good enough.

5, 6, 6, 5 (4)

Ainsley and Natalie

Waltz

What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong

scd 15 ainsley 5After being saved last week, Ainsley proved his weight. An endearing, smooth and serene working across the floor in hold with Natalie. Grace, elegance and style. As a natural smiler, clear to see Ainsley enjoying the dance and feeling the Strictly bug. Beautiful.

Bruno said it needed more arm extension, but good intention.

Craig enjoyed the frame and posture but pointed out losing the end routine a tad.

Len added he lost his hold but had no mistakes and great footwork.

6, 7, 7, 6 (7)

Helen and Aljaz

Salsa

Doctor Beat – Miami Sound Machine

scd helen 5For training Aljaz takes her up the shard. Lucky her. Doctor Aljaz gets it going as Helen gets lots of splits and flicks in. Some of her knickers were flashed, but unlike others, kept it as a classy way to incorporate into the dance and keep feel. Lacked some finer content and could have used her body more with shakes and jhuzzh. Using her legs to advantage, where feet were well utilised.

Craig wanted to see Helen “earth the grind” (If you can figure out that one. We do. :D)

Darcey loved the list at the end and enjoyed Helen’s spicy side coming out.

Len wanted to have a knee replacement in their hospital.

Bruno said she was a saucy nurse.

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Peter and Janette

Tango

Blue Monday – New Order

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The pair stop playing cards and launch into a vibrant and freshly fast Tango. Lots of interesting thrusts and strong musicality. Giving it full enthusiasm and channeling dark but entertaining rhythm. Bags of style and smooth action. Janette doing another great job on content. Tight and tender.

Darcey loved Janette’s choreography. Had focus and belief she added.

Bruno said what Darcey said.

Craig felt it was dynamic and had real purpose. Exactly what was needed from a Tango.

8, 8, 8, 8 (8)

Katie and Anton

Viennese Waltz

If I Can Dream – Elvis Presley

scd 15 katie 5Anton truly does have a partner this year that is going along with him for the ride and not stumbling at the first block. Little stumbles and timing off in places but fantastic rotations throughout on every one. Really good and consistent. God content. Smooth grace. Anton is actually in a dance contest this year. He must be chuffed to bits.

Len said it was light and fluffy.

8, 8, 9, 8 (8)

So who might be likely to leave? As ever we list three who might be going based on their dances. Falling into the danger zone in no particular order, of course, are…

Danger Zone

Kirsty, Carol and Daniel

Results to follow.

IMAGES

BBC

Guy Levy