X Factor Categories Revealed

Judges Categories revealed

xfactor 2014

With the looming returning of the UK version of The X Factor this weekend we can reveal which judges have which categories.

The show sees the return of former judges, cheating scumbag Simon Cowell and overrated diva Saint Cheryl Cole. After a secret divorce and new marriage, Cheryl whateverhernameisnow (you think I got time to type all that out?) hopes to reform her flagging career after Cowell infamously sacked her on the American version for being rubbish.

Nasty judge Cowell has decided to keep the American X stage formation as well as the recently introduced seat swapping bootcamp choices, singers and viewers deemed as cruel.

Joining the panel is everyone’s favourite (?) Irish Lepparechaun Louis Walsh, who sits on the end and delivers bitchy attacks on contestants because he has no other job and has been the only original since the show’s birth 11 years ago.

Livening up the show is the stand in but very worthy Mel B, otherwise known as Scary Spice from mega successful girl group the Spice Girls. She had a guest spot in previous years where she won the hearts of the nation with her no-nonsense attitude with honest critque than the pantomime others provide.

Who got what?

Mel B will be in charge of the Boys.

Cheryl will (as always on a return) get the Girls.

Smug Simon takes the almost invisible Over 28′s.

Louis Walsh continues to get the scraps, taking the ever useless Groups once again.


The Mirror

X Factor Live Results 1, Fix Factor?

Fix Factor?

Battle of the breasts!

First noticeable introduction of the judges saw Nicole and Tulisa sport some busty (no) bras, leading to a group song of all contestants.

Nicole and Tulisa enter the stage

Emelie Sande’s Read all about it, to disperse any critique that is negative. So X Factor chiefs want only good press, yet go about obtaining it the wrong way that creates bad instead. Think about it first. District3 were way off in vocals once more. MK1 were awkward, Union J found it tough Jahmene was a little pitchy and Lucy was bobbing along. James Arthur added good intensity.

Shortly after, the first guest, Leona Lewis sang, with a velvet draped heavenly feel to an enriched power ballad.

Ne-Yo came up afterwards in the second half of the show, performing new track Let me love you which certainly got the party started with a sweet dance vibe before phone lines close with the telephone vote. Getting the audience to wave their glow sticks too made a party atmosphere with a great track.

The Results

Announced in no particular order, the acts names were called out. Kye, James, District3, Ella, Lucy, MK1, Melanie, Jahmene, Jade, Union J, and Christopher all secured their place for next week’s live show, leaving two to duke it out in the sing off, where judges would select the person to go home. With only one place guaranteed it was…

Rylan Vs Carolynne

Carolynne has the ‘Kitty Brucknell effect’ where no one takes to her, nor understands her work ethic. We did not write this as audience must vote on their own choices, not influence from media, willy nilly, like the national derogatory press. We live in a sad society with shameful teen girls as young as thirteen willing to throw their knickers in the air for teen boys who have nothing to offer in talent vocally nor as a personality. The over-sexualisation of today’s children is something perhaps X Factor producers should consider revising. Currently, the state of society with this practice now encourages these teen fans to hunt down any critique of credible intent to abuse them, hence creating trolls of our children also. This is not fully X Factor’s fault, but something that is wide spread thanks to media influence.

The male version of Katie Price, Rylan went first in the sing off, singing Beyonce’s one night only, on auto tune. Rylan, who struggled to express vocals out and fully exposed the auto tune, moving the microphone far away from this mouth as the sound came out,

Carolynne Poole went second with a soft, smooth version of Faith Hill’s there you’ll be. Carolynne’s vocals rose above the ashes and smashed the auto tuned Rylan out of the water with proof of song. So, how will the votes from the judges go?

The pathetic cabaret audience cheer for Rylan making the in-house audience a mockery, filled with hundreds of females and barely any male’s in sight. The audience at home strategically made a point to pace Rylan in the bottom. They want him gone.

New seating arrangement is fine. Show is not.

This has happened before when expressing who should be leaving. It was a clear audience message from the public. They didn’t want a part of this Rylan debacle any longer. Nicole, mentoring the boys category naturally saved Rylan. Gary kept his act, Carolynne, as predicted.

Now time for the real votes. Tulisa chose to save Carolynne in order to seem like the youngster wasn’t inconsistent on the panel, though claimed it was “a singing show” and voted in favour than a “entertainment” aspect.

As always in X Factor history, when Louis Walsh gains the casting vote, you sense it all goes wrong. Louis often keeps the show dragging over time as unable to make his own mind up every time. After a very long wait, Louis, who said he wants to keep Carolynne in the show, had a producer rush to his side to utter something to him. Louis backtracked his decision instantly, and took the vote to deadlock.

Deadlock means when the vote is tied, the most public votes survive. Rylan received the most votes and remained in the competition, sparking mass claims of “Fix Factor” with all viewers who sent a message to producers with the bottom two they wanted Rylan out. Producers feel Rylan creates the ratings of the show, which proves that the X Factor plan on de-humanising Rylan to create attention and gain exposure to boost X Factor’s name after last year it lost 2 million of its viewers for some of the same practices  This practice has anger many and exposed the process of inner workings further and in a negative light. Now, the show seems to have lost more viewers in respect who plan to boycott the show.

Walsh, whose three groups were near pitiful in performances, may be the next to face the sing off next week as a message for this betrayal once again.

Since we wrote yesterday in our review, Carolynne was a contender, but seemingly did not gain enough exposure among others. The reason she lost was due to us reporting generally, yet the teen females saw that the beloved child groups were in “danger zone” and chose to vote for them in order to save both. That is the problem X Factor AND society face at large. If you tell a child not to do something, they will go and do it in defiance.

Furthermore, there was awkwardness in the votes as Nicole desperately pleaded with Louis to save Rylan during the vote, a new all time low, where Scherzinger, once favourable with the UK public, may have lost all credibility – awful. It doesn’t matter, Nic is already going to be leaving the show after this stint and replaced by Spice Girl Mel B. Louis’ constant deliberation, prompted Tulisa to tell Walsh to select a name of the to, on their print out in front of them, in case they forget their names.

Mel B helped auditions early int he series, making a delightful, yet ‘scary’ impact.

Gary Barlow was livid and stormed off the set.

There is a problem. Gary may end up leaving the show. Nicole is finished, Tulisa should be ditched as inconsistent and Louis needs to leave after unable to make any decisions nor give acts a chance to make their name or guidance as he is supposed to do and all about his own ego.

Carolynne was mature about the decision but noted when asked of Louis choice – “No he never saves me.” Walsh neglected Poole last year at judge’s houses.

Barlow, joining his act on stage, said it was an “absolute joke” in reference to the travesty of the shows’ hypocrisy.

Controversy. Did Holloway pull Louis puppet string?

On sister show X-tra Factor, directly after the main show for exclusive gossip, Louis chose to sit there and smile unrelentingly. Today was also Simon Cowell’s birthday, noted on the show. This was probably the last thing he needed.

As become a shambolic pre-determined show once brimming with talent, and an all-time low of bartering for votes, X Factor couldn’t be more doomed. Even if Simon Cowell should return eventually, the damage is done and is scraping the very core of what X Factor’s essence once used to be. They need new judges, with Barlow remaining and production values based on the show and its talent, not a reality, Big Brother/The Only Way Is Essex/Jersey Shore ‘reality’ spin on TV to ‘Americanise’ the format which was successful in its own right. Hire me, I’m your saving grace. Till then, X Factor will be lucky to survive in three years’ time.

London 2012, Closing Ceremony

London 2012 began its handover of the closing ceremony with a jam packed concert flowing from decades to showcase Great Britain’s best in the musical spectrum.

Leading us into the show was the gorgeous Emilie Sande a fresh new name who had made her own over the last year or so in today’s current era. After belting out read all about it atop a newspaper wrapped stage, refined actor Timothy Spall appeared out of the roof of Big Ben as politican Sir Winston Churchill.
Quoting superb lines from playwrite William Shakespeare, whom everyone can learn from, reading from the play, The Tempest, Spall did a pleasing job to star the ceremony, while most probably missed the Celloist Julian Llyod Webber below due to dodgy camera angles. Shakespeare, of course, was born in Straford upon Avon should any of you been unaware. The stadium was in Stratford, East London.
Jacques Rogge and Prince Henry of Wales were introduced as they took their seats. Many did not know the name of he prince and many viewers assume his was a mistake by broadcasters. Someone may wish to explain his name to others. He took his seat next to the Duchess of Cambridge, who married his brother and fututre King of England, Prince William, earlier this year, who was absent due to a prior engagement.
Being told to stand for the national anthem, neumatic drills set off. Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt was seated directly behind Prince Harry. Unbelievable. Anything to get himself noticed. Do yourself a favour princes, make sure you distance yourself as far as possible from Hunt. Damage limitation.
Michael Caine appeared on the screens in his trademark vocals from his films before Batman and Robin were launched from a three wheel yellow car with TIT on the side of it. TIT, which stands for Trotter’s Independant Traders is a cultural reference to a popular TV series called Only Fools and Horses, featuring two brothers in a council house aiming to hit the big time with business in the east end. Their classic fancy dress episode where  they saved a councillor from a group of muggers dressed at the caped crusader and his sidekick was the reenactment on stage. The councillor had refuse a plan made by the brothers, who then had her revoke as DelBoy Derek Trotter, dressed as Batman, told her to grant them a chance.
Music group Madness came along in an act of a street party, a British tradition, celebrated by some over the Queen’s diamond mjubilee earlier this April, followed by Blur on soundtrack with trumpets playing their hit, Parklife.
Tempo soon changed with West End Girls as the Pet Shop Boys were wheeled on in cone head getup to pleasing results.
Next up were teeny boppers, One Direction, signing what makes you beautiful. The acts mimng were met with scrutiny to all those watching and asked why they were placed on the show. OneD were formed two years ago, on TV reality singing show, The X Factor.
The bin men came next as Stomp smashed their clutter instruments leading onto Spelbound performing some bouncy routines.
Ray Davies from the Kinks then arrived in a black cab, to sing Waterloo Sunset. Fans were slightly bored and unenthused of the beginning of the show to this point, so perhaps placement should have been rearranged instead.
After showing a mock up of the Gherkin building, Emelie Sande returned to sing a full on hit. Some debated why she returned while others let it pass as she was now signing a ‘proper’ lengthy song.
Indie rock band Elbow held the stage next with some good work though most had never heard of them, as flag bearers entered the stadium. Gold sailing medallist Ben Ainslie carried the flag for Team GB.
While Elbow belted out open arms, the formation was devised as all the Olympiams formed the flag into sections around the stage to watch the concert at he front of the show. This was a valid choice, though took a while as home viewers joked about hurdling sheep.
As they were ushered into cordoned off sections by joined hands of people dressed in blue suits with a lit bulb atop their head, further adding humour to the brainwaves or not of the show in parts, had the song playlist we had all just heard of acts mentioned above replay as it did on the sound system once again. Viewers and on goers we’re highly upset with this, wondering why more acts could not have sang instead. There was no need to replay the song list hey had just heard, in their view.
White boxes reminiscent of Rubix cubes were constructed to build a platform as Kate Bush ‘s running up that hill blared on soundtrack. She was not here, sparking further fury. Should’ve booked her to sing Baboushka with Eurovision’s Russian grannies. That would have entertained.
After medals were presented for the last time to the Men’s Marathon winners,  volunteers were thanked and appreciated.
Then the party started picking up its pace. Rock band Queen’s opening lens of Bohemian Rhapsody began to ring out. Fans went wild. Then John Lennons imagine started to play. Fans respected Lennon but were baffled as to why Queen started playing only to be cut off.
Children began singing imagine as crowds began to be annoyed with the hypocrisy of sterotypical children signing when placed on the stage as a political agenda to the conservative party government. The kids outdid themselves and proudly sang and sign languaged the words for those watching in a caring manner.
Lennon’s imagie made people respond “Proud to be British” which they are, but just not too proud of the way some of it has been handled by the government in the country.
It ended with a fantastic dome jigsaw as kids crammed to gather on the stage to bury the,selves under an igloo rock that bearded the very face of John Lennon as a mark of respect, with Yoko Ono’s blessing. It was an excellent display.
Pace gathered as “Freedom” began and George Michael beated onto the stage with some funky dance moves, as well as belting out his new coming single, I’m Alive. He was happy to be there.
Kaiser Chiefs raced to the scene on backs of bikes, singing just can’t get enough in a short span before leaving quickly as pop supremo David Bowie’s Let’s Dance rang out. Advertisers and sponsors who marred the games with empty seats finally got their attendance they wanted with a mass pay off as billboards were driven into the stadium. Featuring poosters of Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss, were driven to the stage as Fashion, Another of Bowie’s excellent hits played. Bowie, was not there.
The boards broke down as crowd roared to see the very supermodels behind their posters, clad in gold cajoled dresses. They then proceed down a catwalk of the stage to meet in the middle with a couple of guys including model David Gandy and a few other females.
The tone quickly changed as Annie Lennox steered out on a ship at its trainload front look hellish. She wasn’t performing Wild Boys by Duran Duran with a modern twist, instead she performed Bram Stoker’s Dracula Portugal to the theme of Little Bird. Some instantly gave the Titanic comparison.
Ed Sheeren, a good guy, was on next as most were uninterested, even if understanding he is talented to some level. It didn’t fit the tone after Lennox or the brief of the show , most felt. Perhaps placement could have been better arranged.
Russell Brand, ex hubby of Katy Perry and comedian and slight actor sparked more interested dressed like Willy Wonka, you can guess what alliteration came from some viewers, as he came out in some flower power bus. Where was Scooby Doo to save us? The mystery machine would have been better.
He handed over to DJ Fat Boy Slim who was inside a massive octopus. Did it all hit the squids? 🙂
Jessie J then brought the show back. Signing Price Tag fans erupted with a singalong they enjoyed. She flew past on the back of a sporty vehicle windswept in pure class. Then we saw Tinie Tempah in the back of a car take to the stage with Written In The Stars. JJ whizzed around the stadium as Taio Cruz Dynamite proved a massive reaction to get the spirit partying.
All three stars met up in the centre of the stage to sing a fantastic Bee Gees track, You Should Be Dancing. The trio did a great job here, though some felt was a bit too long winded and lost some momentum.
The show was about to change for the best part of the evening. Turning dark, five black cabs pulled up, as a thunderous tune boomed over the sound system. This was it. Fans went wild. Ahhhhhh….

Spicey Cabs

“So tell me what you want….” The Spice Girls burst onto the scene, all five of them to electrify the spectators all over the world. The spices cans continued as the girls climbed atop their taxi’s holding guard rails as they set off to whizz around the stadium and “Spice up your life!” “Arrrribbbaaaaa!”
The crowd was filled with madness and enthusiasm galore, prompting many to seek the revival of the five piece band to make their long awaited comeback as felt they were needed in the world one again. The Spice’s stole the night, as some dodgy dancing from London Mayor Boris Johnson and Prime Minister David Cameron was witnessed. The dad and uncle dancing moves made the whole of Britain cringe with laughter for their put of touch swaying and hand clapping.
Transition from lively spice to mundane spice, one Gallagher brother then took per the procession to sing an Oasis hit, which cold not follow his predecessors as well as many wishing both bro’s could have been on stage together.
With a weather forecast looming and “Blue Sky” most were unaware of what was going on as a cannon was launched and a figure fell into the stage breaking it. Emerging from beneath the crowd changed its mood slightly as they saw Eric Idle full on to sing Always look on the bright side of life from the classic Monty Phython series. For those that didn’t know this was the presenters jobs to fill in the blanks all over the world.
Gladiators arrived on stage, as then did a Bollywood take over to express the cultural changes over time. We wonder what the silent MP Aiden Burnley had to as about this one.
Business picked up in an unexpected and excellent act took to the stage. Rock group Muse, winners of numerous best live act gongs with NME and other music industries proved their place on the line up with great live music once more. Shocking more than anything was that someone thought to book them when most assumed they wouldn’t be selected. We were glad they got recognition. They did it in glitter blazer sequins. Dazzling.
Freddie Mercury was then portrayed on a large screen. Uttering every word perfectly from his live tours, the audience were eating out of his every word in unison. It was an amazing collaboration.
Guitarist rock god Brian May dominated the stage with a powerful strumming sensation ripping the arena with sound as Roger Taylor on drums supported him. Both Queen rockers met with the returning Jessie J to perform We Will Rock You in amazing scenes which Freddie Mercury would have applauded.

In an unexplained move we were told the Greek national anthem would be up next. No one understood why. No one explained why.
A welsh choir began signing the Olympic anthem. The flags started to come down. London 2012 was beginning its departure.
Boris Johnson waved the flag, as he passed it to Jacques Rogge, who then waved and transferred it to the Mayor of Rio de Janeiro, Eduardo Paes as the Brazilian anthem played. Memorise it, you’ll soon here it a lot more.
We then saw a random sweeper with a broom on the stage. Scared that another security blunder occurred from letdown company G4S, one security guard charged onto the stage to have a word with him. Telling him off, the cleaner, equipped with broom, broke into a dance. The security guard soon blame overcome with the beat and showed him how it was to be done. An umbrella lady and a vibrant samba crew joined the party with some green headed clones, stealing the headdresses of Queen Nefertiti it would seem, to partake in some Pharoa frolics and dance us into 2016, as the man from del monte came on also. It was a mass celebration to raise the part spirit as London handed over to Rio.
Chairman of seven years for the games Sebastian Coe took to a never ending speech of self portrayal to enhance his own reputation on the guise of attempting to coverup with a stance on it being for London. Coe had been the focus of many empty seats, where overpriced tickets, and sponsors who didn’t turn up to sit in those seats marred the games seven years in the making. Blamed for the reason, sponsors only received 8% of tickets. Thousands of seats were empty almost every day.
To save face Coe ended stating “Britain did it right.” In order to prove to the world who constantly knock Great Brtain, GB proved it was more than capable and able to do so. GB acknowledges that. The only problem GB has is the put of touch issues with the government towards its people. Apart from that Great Britain DID do it right.
Jacque Rogge told us to “never forget” and “we all deserved the rot to be called Olympians” for those who excelled to make it a “happy and glorious games” before saying “thank you London” for the hospitality to the games and all the nations and Olympians competing. The crowds were riveting to all in a mass union of respect and heartfelt passion for what they do as well as being a part of sporting greatness welcoming them to the capital.
Pop group Take That, minus Robbie Williams, were about to finish the show. Singing Rule the World the quartet supported the country and one another, as lead singer Gary Barlow had suffered heartache with the loss of his baby, Poppy, just days before. Tremendous respect came from the country as a nation stood with him as he did his duty for Queen and country.
Dancing extrodaniare Darcy Bussel flitted around the stage as a lit Phoenix burning behind jetted her in to the sound of church, occult, gothic chorus themes. Bussel joins TV dancing reality show, Strictly Come Dancing, most know in country’s by it’s spin off sister series Dancing with the stars, from which it DWTS originated.
Busting her moves, Bussel left, though seemingly over fans started to leave. Others wondered at what point it would end. The Wo were the final act of the evening to close the ceremony completely. Most did not know Who they were. The reason they played last was because it featured one word only, which had been the strapline for London 2012’s games. The one was talkin’ bout my “generation” as the strap line for the games was “Inspire a generation.”
Apart from placement of some acts and others omitted, with the absence of Sir Elton John, whom many thought and stated should have closed the show on a jivey end, and Bowie, Boyle and Bush uninvolved fully questioned some of the proceedings of those there.
The Spice Girls clearly dominated the event and with such short space and a track list replaying, could have allowed more time to them and add in a few extra acts. These mismanagement question how out of touch a government and organisers may fully be with a younger and wider audience which Danny Boyle managed to connect fully with on the opening ceremony.
To flaunt London, as great as it truly is, to the world, by being backward with portrayal in certain areas made a slight knock on the show which need to re-encapture the youth of today’s Britain positively, rather than focusing on families with babies and political values in order to “inspire” this generation to get up off their backsides, which they spend mos of their time doing, to encourage seeking work rather than forcing them with ransoms to their benefits and proving experience and attendance which the government snubbed due to their own snobbery for special guest and Rupert Murdoch to gain political exposure favourably. Tell me, did any of them pay for their extortionate tickets the multiple events they attended? Hmmm… Moaning that the country does not put into the pot is a double standard when politicians and special guests paid nothing to sit at the events first class to take liberties, perhaps? Oh, the irony…
The nation may be inspire for a week, but the after effects, with the Prime Minister and his deputy taking a two week holiday, returning in time for the Paralympic Games, leaving the country without anyone to run it in charge, hasn’t thought how to inspire when cutting sports and availability in the country as well as forgetting about how to support the over 25-30 category of the countries residents. They are the one’s you need to focus on giving opportunities to in order to make the country and its economy grow. Then the kids will survive when people can support the prize pot to open funds for sport. Any company needing a PR/strategist/writer can contact me on Twitter for email. 🙂 Only serious offers apply please, i dont need an inbox full of spam, Cheers!

Spice Girls reform some Zigga Zig Ah!

All smiles on Tuesday (26th June) as The Spice Girls reformed to launch a new West End stage show on London’s Piccadilly strip.

Where it all began.

Reunited for the first time in years, and some ten years since their first single, Wannabe, which became the staple of the band, engulfing “Girl Power” to all females around the globe, all five members, Baby, Sporty, Ginger, Scary and Posh took a snap at the foot of the stairs featured in the very Wannabe single, from 1996, at Euston’s St. Pancras Hotel.

Though body language experts claim all was not as rosy as it seemed, with all girls seeming distant with one another. Posh Spice, aka, Victoria Beckham, fresh off numerous flights over the globe, looked tired, but couldn’t muster a smile in the snap. Mel B’s posture was classed as looking “outward” signifying a closed off connection to the group. The others were seemingly apart also, though Emma Bunton and Mel C kept the momentum in check. Speculation was cast as to any potential upset occurring. This is mild speculation, of course, and one should not fully listen to the newspapers that spout any gossip to create a false sense of meaning to manipulate your mind.

Posh, arriving back home in L.A.

Victoria wanted to jet back to her humble abode in Los Angeles, America, alongside David and the boys to see daughter Harper.

Emma, Geri Halliwell and Mel B partied into the night around London, whilst sporty spice Melanie Chisholm was nowhere in sight.

Emma Bunton, looking glam in Orange

The West End musical, joining the likes of Grease, Ghost and Guys and Dolls will feature a multitude of Spicey hits, written by Absolutely Fabulous comedienne Jennifer Saunders, who once dressed as Ginger Spice in a mock up for single Who Do Ya Think You Are? alongside four other celebs.

The musical will be named Viva Forever. The show’s main story will be based on “a beautiful, talented girl and her best friends who get swept up in the obsession of today’s TV celebrity culture.”

Doors open on December 11th 2012, at the Piccadilly Theatre, London.

Rumours circulated earlier in the year that all spices would participate in the Queen’s Diamond Jubillee celebrations in April. This did not occur.

Others include all five divas opening the Olympic Games ceremony, which has also been denied. Though to encourage sport, females and the games, it may not have been the worst decision to open the extravaganza.