Strictly Come Dancing 2015, Week 3: Results

Strictly Come Dancing 2015,

Week 3: Results

scd 15 tess calude 3

The second week of elimination results are in. Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman reveal who is back and who faces the Judge’s boot.

The pro’s started with a sweet movie group dance jumping Kevin into the picture screen to bring Karen to out to the dancefloor with the rest of the pro’s Tristan and Joanne were stuck in the screen. This was the best we’ve seen of Karen and probably the best we’ll see this series. It was a great start despite some cheese on top.

In no particular order Tess reveals the first couple back next week which is Kellie and Kevin. Joining them are Jay and Aliona, Jeremy and Karen, Anita and Gleb, Carol and Pasha and Georgia and Giovanni.

The first to fall in the bottom two are Ainsley and Natalie.

The second set of results return to reveal who is safe. Returning next week are Helen and Aljaz, Peter and Janette, Kirsty and Brendan, Jamelia and Tristan, Katie and Anton and Daniel and Kristina.

The second dance off couple is Anthony and Oti.

Tonight’s musical guest is ever great classic superstar Andrea Bocelli with and Evita classic.

boceli

Len’s Lens returns to discuss the dances in more detail. The biased Jive of Jay to outdo Jill Halfpenny’s epic was shameless of the producers. It had flaws and was surprising Craig could not notice the limp and throwaway hands and strolling on uselessness of Aliona. It was a 7 at best.

Darcey talked on Kellie and Kevin’s Star Wars hoo-rah as Craig gracefully master-classed Peter’s Paso. Jeremy was Bruno’s focus.

The dance off

The two dance off-ers take to the floor for their last chance dance.

Anthony and Oti

Paso Doble

Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

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Oti’s stunning and fierce entry was letdown by Anthony’s limpness and rigid frame, even if it is Week 3. Better spin arounds and effort but still to stiff. Not much passion involved with his partner. Got to let loose and engage self to music. All about doing the steps and hoping for the best. Feel good guy who just wanted a go.

Ainsley and Natalie

Cha Cha Cha

Boogie Wonderland – Earth, Wind and Fire

scd 15 ainsley

Great connection with partnership and dance. Improved effort and fun filled. Maintained style, grace and fancy footwork. Commanding leading man and smooth charisma. Amazing performer, with great steps and ballroom spectacular. Should stay but likely to go.

The Judges Vote

Judges Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno will save one couple from elimination. If there’s a tie lead judge Len will cast the deciding vote. Ainsley proved to be better but the overall look was chosen for Strictly by its mouth feeding producers. Anthony just doesn’t have it, which is a shame for the gorgeous Oti.

Craig – Save Ainsley and Natalie.

Darcey – Very hard to choose. Ainsley and Natalie.

Bruno – Ainsley and Natalie.

Len – Agreed with my colleagues.

O-go-go and gone…

Anthony – I can’t dance. She’s done a wonderful job.

Oti – Really good friend.

oti mabuse

He’s a decent guy but couldn’t get to grips with it. It was sad to see Oti go who really tried hard but it was beyond her. It was the right choice and let’s hope Strictly keeps her around for next year, should it be re-commissioned. She’s gorgeous and a stunning dancer.

IMAGES

BBC

Guy Levy

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Strictly Come Dancing 2015, Week 3: Movie Week

Strictly Come Dancing 2015:

Week 3, Movie Week

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The second elimination week continues as Strictly Season rages on. Tonight’s glam hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman present the spectacular with the scoring judges Craig Revel-Horwood, DarecyBussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. FalseFabs will also professionals score in brackets without the over-marking lunacy producers employ on the show. The show also comes alight with the excellent house band Orchestra, led by Dave Arch.

Oh no… It’s the terribly cheesy themed weeks, starting off with Movies. Look out for Kevin swishing his light-sabre. Strictly always makes its star look foolish with these childish ways to make “entertaining” dances. It’s not. /there is a difference in putting on a show and making it a complete farce. Producers have been making these mistakes for years and need the boot. It’s pathetic and does nothing for the show. They even used the Strictly stars of this year as on-stage props in a group dance which underminded the dancers opening the show.

Carol and Pasha

Quickstep

Wash That Man – South Pacific

Standing on spot and side to side shuffle of self not interesting. In hold wth Pasha weak and no real dance steps achieved. Improved footwork than last week but still no momentum or passion.Nothing else except being carried around floor by Pasha.Weak and useless.Lovely lady but no dance skills. Should go soon but gets granny votes.

Bruno complimented her frame but panned the shuffling. Len said it was lovely to watch.

Craig added “Lame and Lacklustre” as the honest critique is. The pantomime boo’s from audience made further laughing stock of the show.

3, 5, 5, 4 (3)

Anthony and Oti

Paso Doble

Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

Anthony decided once more to be the Strictly stooge and play up to being a boxer. Tonight’s dance inspiration is Rocky III. How unpredictable. Tw*t. He begins by punching the camera air. Oti charges in looking stunning in her cape wafting. Anthony too rigid and wooden. Limp and distilled movements. All about smoke screen props going off and o dancing. Jumped over Oti.Simply a stick insect with widened arms at this point.Oti made great content once again. Shame she is partnered with a terrible partner.

Listen to music Bruno said. It was “all over the place” he added. Anthony piped up to defend his weak actions in boyish fashion.

Craig – While every effort is being made, lacked a bit of purpose.

Tess – Get him off the ropes Darcey. (She did.)

Darcey – It was your best dance so far. (Zzzzzz)

4, 6, 5, 4 (4)

Katie and Anton

Cha Cha Cha

Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison

Pretty Woman inspired with gentlemanly Anton not exactly Richard Gere, but hey, were on a budget. Long time getting into dance with walking to floor.Great twirls and ffet together.Composed until Anton jumps around the floor as Katie stands alone.Unnecessary. Good on the spot swishes. Cheeky fun but lacked enthusiasm. Needed oomph.Despite good technique.

Craig – Very stiff, no hip action. Lack of content.

Darcey – You so look the part.Had high expectations.Didn’t follow through.

Len – This was a disappointment. Everyone has a bad dance.

Anton took the blame for lack of content as a pure gentleman. Smoothly done but just be careful not to overdo it. Could lose votes this way.

4, 6, 5, 5 (4)

Kellie and Kevin

Charleston

Star Wars Theme

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The pair brought some thrill to the floor and used the sabres well but turned it all into a cheesy, jolly old knees up which did not suit the theme. Bit wet I areas but general good steps and moves around floor. Decent lift but tepid. Average. Might have been better off “Losing their heart to a Stormship Trooper.”

Darcey – Brilliant.

Bruno – I could feel the force.

Craig – Thought was clean, tight, precise. Cane work absolutely fan-tastic.

8, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Ainsley and Natalie

Cha Cha Cha

Happy Feet theme

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Ains is a Penguin in a suit this week. Great enthusiasms from start. Hot partnership and lone action coped well with. Captivating rhythm and entertainment. Hilarious Penguin shimmy was not a joke and done well with choreography. Great content from Natalie too.

Len did not wish to talk about the technique.

Bruno mocked the hips and said he forgot the footwork.

Craig – A Cha ChaCha dis-as-tah!

3, 6, 6, 5 (6)

Georgia and Giovanni

Rumba

The Writing’s on the Wall – Sam Smith

scd 15 georgia 3

Cripes! Could Giovanni be anymore serious? Loosen up mate. Georgia wants to be a Bond Girl. Good luck darling. A double whammy with a rubbish Bond song for this Bond’s generation.Bad musicality. Giovanni strolls on slowly as Georgia stands waiting haplessly. Weak shimmys grinding Giovanni behind her. Go for the lads vote girl. Very easy and cheap choreography or look interesting. A few moves and not much else dancing.Being flung around doesn’t count as a dance. She ended on the floor, on her back. Oh, and the movie isn’t even released yet. Epic fail.

Bruno – Rumba has to flow through the body.

Craig – Agree with Bruno.

Darcey literally gushed. Her f*nny must have got a bit of air up it, you know? Please…

Len – Too much posturing and laughing. Doesn’t constitute a Rumba in my world.

7, 7, 6, 7 (5)

Helen and Aljaz

Foxtrot

I Wanna Be Love By You – Some Like It Hot

Good strat by slow. Greatt leg lines and dainty joy. Sweet and tender with all the steps but lacked a fuller attack in the dance, where subtly needed. Still captivating but needs more push.

Crag – You were clawing Aljaz. Thought was absolutely gor-gh-ous!

Darcey – Beautiful gliding.

Len – Elegance. That is just what I got.

8, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Daniel and Kristina

Cha ChaCha

Summer Nights – Grease

scd 15 daniel

Oh Happy Days. Danny is doing Zuko from Grease. Forgettable and useless. Even trying to look radiant, maneater Kristina still looks pale and empty. No real dance and just a play on Grease for votes. More like Danny Poo or Puke-o.

Darcey – Bit soft on the edge. Wasn’t crisp enough.

Bruno – You don’t skip on the Cha Cha Cha He’s a cocky… Oh sorry… He’s a cocky guy. You went wrong.

Craig – Very stompy. You remembered the choreography.

4, 6, 6, 5 (4)

Kirsty and Brendan

American Smooth

Lady and the Tramp theme

Apart from being dressed up like a dog’s dinner, Kirsty started awkward step backs with frame, posture and feet. Walking around was boring and not embracing. Cheap lifts one after another lost whatever momentum was there. An empty dance that could have been explosive and propelled Kirsty up the board.Looked very uncomfortable in lifts.

Len – Second lift went a bit… Improvement on last week.

Craig – Needed lot more flow and grace. Some balance issues. Arms quite devoid of emotion.

5, 6, 6, 6 (4)

Peter and Janette

Paso Doble

Pirates of the Caribbean theme

Paso Pirate Peter. Janette hollered for help as Pirate Pete swung in on a rope to save the day. Cheesy start aside, musicality strong and powerful to a passionate Paso. Captivating with steps and power. Good attack and crisp performance. Oodles of content to muse over. Dance of the night without a doubt. Amazing entertainer for week 3.

Craig – Full of aggression. Congratulations.

Darcey – So much conviction and drama. Bit lumpy.Still very god performance.

Len – I must congratulate all the pros. It was great, I enjoyed it.

7, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Claudia pulled out items from a magic hat including a pink lightsabre, a baguette and string of sausages among others which was senseless but hilarious as Tess introduced our next couple.

Jamelia and Tristan

Samba

Heaven Must be Missing an Angel – Charlie’s Angels theme

Light and bright start into a groovy floor partnership. Good speed and rhythm looking more comfortable. Flung on the floor spin well.Tricky turnarounds minor blip and decent. Good use of legs but needs more focus not to get lost or dizzy in spins. Coped well in fast dance and felt the music thrill.

Craig – Bit rough around the edges. Get the hips going. Keep legs together if doing a lift. Just advice.

Darcey – Ooze rhythm. Natural selling point.Much better.Confident.

Len – Much more energy, full of enthusiasm. Came out and went for it.

6, 7, 6, 6 (6)

Jeremy and Karen

Charleston

Top Hat, White Tie and Tails – Top Hat

Rigid block, on the spot with awkward smile pushing hands out was not appealing. Terrible steps in hold with Karen. Too stiff but tried with decent synchronised motions. Like rigormortis on heat. Dire.

Bruno –The king of funny walks.

Craig – It was bizarre. Operated by strings.Dancing by numbers also.

3, 7, 7, 7 (3)

Total over-marking lunacy has arrived again. This show really lets itself down here. Producers backstage don’t care. So why pay for a Licence Fee? Everyone at Strictly needs sacking or end the show. Tony Hall is useless right now. Fix it.

Anita and Gleb

American Smooth

Unchained Melody – Ghost

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Both looked radiant and beautiful tonight. Clandescent and smooth interludes.Great working to the floor. Graceful crane spins from Anita. Perfect spin through and drop down floor chasing. (A Gleb special he calls it) (Tess thinks it will have everyone queuing for one. Might be right.)Rapid, clean and classy.Sheer elegance. Dance of the night now.

Craig – Did lack finesse. To do with arms. Extend lines lot more. Love contemporary Viennese nature.

Darcey – Liked the lifts coming out of it. Looked so easy.Understood quality and feel of the dance.

6, 8, 8, 7 (9)

Jay and Aliona

Jive

Misirlou/You Can Never Tell Medley – Pulp Fiction

Didn’t someone on Strictly do this exact number before, only better? Tasteless BBC.Aliona strolls on ungracefully looking like a poor attempt at Uma Thurman. Any wig won’t do. Jay’s spins and fast-ist steps were a tad weak and lacked style. Arms were paltry and unefforted. Silly galloping on spot when music kicked in was poor. Little kick sway legs to cover disjointed dance. Will be highly over-marked despite being less than average.

Bruno – Outdance Travolta. Best dance EVER! (Yeah,….)

Craig – A level of technique never seen ever!

Darcey – Coolish guy in this competition.So much sexy appeal.

Len – That is best dance so far this season.

Total lies from the production crew on their ‘favourites’ can easily be smelt as BS. This show is jokes. Get real. It was average.

9, 9, 9, 10 (7)

Lunacy.

And just like that the show is over.

Danger zone

(In no particular order)

Carol, Ainsley and Kirsty

Results to follow.

IMAGES

BBC

Guy Levy

Strictly Come Dancing 2015, Week 2: Beginning

Strictly Come Dancing 2015

 Week 2: Beginning

judges 15

Back for the second week after its introduction ceremony is the Strictly showdown. one couple will leave the dancefloor after tonight’s performances. The challenge has officially begun.

As ever the judges Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli will score as will FalseFabs (in brackets) with honest and constructive critique.

Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman continue the hosting duties.

Jamelia and Tristan

Cha Cha Cha

Don’t Cha – The Pussycat Dolls

Good start, bit of rhythm. Continued partnership developing. Could be dynamite if too let loose and feel the connection. Lose all inhibitions. Good feet but gaps noticeable in places. Fire up the chemistry.
4, 6, 5, 6 (5)

Daniel and Kristina

Charleston

Let’s Misbehave – Cole Porter

scd week 2 daniel

Easy and simple. Kristina not too fussed to bother with old crooner O’Donnell who is trying hard and giving Strictly his all. Tad clunky and disjointed in places. Bit boring. Needs work with less concentration on steps and take a more natural approach to dance. Will be in for a few weeks from the grannies.

5, 6, 6, 6 (4)

Kirsty and Brendan

Salsa

Can’t Touch It – Ricki Lee

Bit of a mess, really. Looking good won’t outdo flinging around the floor as a showoff with Brendan, who opened his shirt to show some flesh for votes. Be careful. This one could be a Gabby Logan. Kirsty was too leggy and her trying efforts did not connect well with dance aptitude. All over the place. Messy, with no control. Juvenile.

5, 5, 5, 5 (4)

Jay and Aliona

Waltz

See the Day – Dee C. Lee

The pair gave a smooth and controlled swirl of decent steps. The footwork was calm and movement adequate. Aliona again risked it all by being too showy and loves to dance on her own on the spot in twirls and leave her partner isolated. Despite this, overall, for once, it was considerably sound.

7, 8, 8, 8 (7)

Iwan and Ola

Cha Cha Cha

Sexy and I Know It – LMFAO

iwan 2

A weak soundtrack and taught frame did not help either here. Iwan played up to the desperation further by ripping open his shirt to get some ‘sex votes’ with tattooed man boobs. If you need this on the first week of voting, what does that truly scream for you? It wasn’t well incorporated and was just slutty. The dance lacked steps, rhythm and skill. LMFAO? More like PMSL. Poor Man’s Sashay Limp. It was not funny. When the beat kicked in, Iwan stood still and Ola shook her bum a bit. Flawed. Dull as dishwater, d(h)arling!

It was stompy, unrhythmic. – Craig.
2, 4, 4, 3 (2)

Georgia and Giovanni

Waltz

Georgia On My Mind – Ray Charles

This one was easy and simple. Georgia winged it and much of her footwork was average. Simple, easy and not very enlightening. It felt cheap and looked empty. It will need more than ‘looking good’ which this pair of lookers are banking all their hopes on. Steps were not fully interesting and was a wasted dance.

Top line kind of spoilt your picture – Bruno.

No rise and fall. (Needs) Drive through on all Waltz/Foxtrot. You look gorgeous. Work on the technique. – Len

6, 6, 6, 7 (5)

Ainsley and Natalie

Salsa

Don’t Touch My Tomatoes – Josephine Baker

Good in hold. Natural partnership. Vibrant and saucy. Nimble movements and good work on the floor. Bit of butt shimmying from Ains a crowd pleaser. Great flip of Nat for Week 2. Perfect ending tilt down on Ainsley lifting Natalie. What joy and class. Decent footwork and moves. Huge effort and smooth starts.

Len said – Brilliant job. completely suits your personality. Didn’t make excuses. You did some bits wrong but with style. Juicy and delicious and you were cooking on gas!

6, 7, 7, 6 (7)

Carol and Pasha

American Smooth

Isn’t This a Lovely Day

Carol had Pasha pick her up from the Strictly bus stop with a cheesy umbrella get up. It’s bad luck to open a brolly indoors mate. It was a drizzly start and a boring walk around on the spot in hold. The music was too dreary than classic and calm. Puns aside, this was no warm front. There was no dance and just a turn with Pasha holding. Dry spout wasn’t good enough. No effort.

Len gave his critique – Gotta be more exaggerated in the movements of the dance.

Craig added it – Lacked a bit of movement.

4, 6, 5, 5 (1)

Kellie and Kevin

Cha Cha Cha

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – Elton John and Kiki Dee

Speccy stunner Kevin took Kellie to the seaside, in London. The theme is set. After trying to pinch one another’s chips on the stage the dance began. Good lines and warm embrace. Composed turns and walkway hold struts by both. Cheeky twirls and fun filled. Needs more skill and passion though to fully drive harder as challengers.

Bruno – Don’t over clip it. You lose some hip movements.

6, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Anthony and Oti

Waltz

If You Don’t Know Me By Now

Too stiff in concentration. Great fluidity from Oti. Anthony looking a little lost on the floor. Empty stares to Oti. No emotion in face. Hard to translate on floor. Simply a Strictly checklist to get through the dance, than truly perform well.

Rise and fall too forced. Jagged – Bruno

Better? Tess asked Craig.

Craig – No. Work on finesse of dance. You’re really exposed out of hold. Did well with what you’ve got.

Darcey – You don’t look comfortable in Waltz. You have to lead the lady.

4, 5, 5, 5 (3)

Anita and Gleb

Charleston

Pencil Full of Lead – Paolo Nutini

gleb anita

Robber Gleb falls to the Strictly floor through a sequined tape door as Anita grabs him into a dance. Good synchronicity side by side. Cheeky lift and kicks in Gleb’s arms. Fun double play with lifts and Gleb leapfrogging Anita. Strong feel of fun and 1950s vintage swing. Hard to keep up with Gleb at times showing but overall fantastic effort and compact performance. Great fun.

Ambitious. You’ve pulled it off. -Craig

Loved contemporary feel. – Darcey

Needed bit more Charleston content but full of energy. – Len.

Lost sync. – Bruno.

7, 8, 6, 6 (7)

Jeremy and Karen

American Smooth

Happy Together – The Turtles

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Prancing around with a Strictly schoolbook he then took a long time getting into hold and gaining stride. Kicks and flicks on spot weak. Limp music was wrong suit for dance tempo. Stood on spot and extended Karen. Cheap lift on end was not appealing in slightest. Bland. Immovable and tepid. No dancing at all.

You have the look and frame. It wasn’t produced. – Darcey.

Like a paranormal phenomena. Very, very odd. – Craig.

“I’m hearing lots of boos in your defence” said irrelevant host Tess Daly, where there were no boos. Don’t be a joke Tess.

3, 5, 5, 4 (1)

Katie and Anton

Tango

Telephone – Lady Gaga

Dark and dangerous suited well but took a while for her to get a move in. Great twirls and focus in face. Really trying hard. Good steps with pace and caressing the floor. Minor gallop of feet could constitute as lift. Take more care not to get lost in dance. Classy and cool but needs more depth to work up the board. Pleasing.

You had that little mistake. – Len added. Still fantastic, he finalised.

Bruno – So alluring. Try not to wobble.

Craig – Loved the drama, false finish. Lovely. Shame about the stumble.

7, 7, 7, 7 (7)

Peter and Janette

Quickstep

Valerie –  Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse

Hold, posture and footwork are Len’s tips for a great Quickstep.

Smooth, swift and captivating start. Good in hold connection. Bit flat in feel, could use more dance oomph. Great bounce and kicks. Controlled and careful footing. Dainty and sweet.

Bruno – Crisp, clear. Very imaginative. Good storytelling.

Darcey – So light on your feet.

Len – You could have moved more. You’ve got more to come.

7, 8, 7, 8 (7)

Helen and Aljaz

Cha Cha Cha

Uptown Girl – Billy Joel

Aljaz is all greased up to emulate Billy Joel in dungaree slacks with bulging biceps. Past his beaming smile and sheer talent Helen’s start was a good beginning to the floor with shimmy and lone skill. In hold good but proved can work on own and project a level of confidence. Has potential to grow higher. Bit slow in middle of performance so needs more oomph there. Good steps, cheeky fun and strong solo with hips.

Sleek, fun and plenty of confidence. – Darcey.

You’re leg far too straight all the time. Look a little wooden. Full of go. Enjoyed.

7, 7, 7, 8 (7)

All performers have now sealed their fate. On will leave the contest on Sunday’s results show. Below is the dreaded Danger Zone where we name the top three, likely to face the empty Strictly Stiletto and get the boot instead.

Danger zone

(in no particular order)

Carol, Iwan and Jeremy

Results to follow.

*Correction*

Last week we said Joanne Clifton was gone. However, as seen on the show this evening she was sitting this year out. Excellent Aussie Pro Trent Whiddon was booted with talented dancers Robin Windsor and Iveta Lukosiute. She is not sacked but not competing.

IMAGES

Guy Levy

BBC

Strictly Come Dancing 2015, Week 1 – Introduction

Strictly Come Dancing 2015

Week 1 – Introduction

WARNING: Embargoed for publication until: 07/09/2014 - Programme Name: Strictly Come Dancing - TX: 07/09/2014 - Episode: Launch Show (No. n/a) - Picture Shows: **EMBARGOED FOR PUBLICATION UNTIL 00:01 HRS ON SUNDAY 7TH SEPTEMBER 2014** Claudia Winkleman, Tess Daly - (C) BBC - Photographer: Guy Levy

Over the weekend on Friday and Saturday the Strictly spectacle returned with some rather interesting results. It was the first week of dancing and the looming elimination beckons this coming weekend, losing one celeb dancer from the pack.
The opener had its fair portions of glitz and glam and the odd cack-handed gallop.

As ever, FalseFabs will give their true and honest score in brackets below, next to the judges scores from Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Buseell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli.

Joining the line up are three new dancers. Russian looker Gleb Savchenko, who was hyped for his so called attractiveness, overly vain Italian heart throb Giovanni Pernice and petitely stunning demographically sourced black female South African Otile (Oti) Mabuse. Gone are Iveta Lukiosute, one of Strictly newest and best dancers, Kevin Clifton’s sister Joanne Clifton, and recently out gay favourite Robin Windsor. The decision were announced over the Summer and complete shock to all who have been described as ‘working their a**es off’ for Strictly. Strictly had been under pressure to fire man eating dancer who sleeps with many of her celeb partners Kristiana Rihanoff, who also displayed homophobic tendencies with Aliona Vilani, described as all t*ts and nothing else. Troublemaker Ola Jordan and temper tantrum Brendan Cole survived once more as fans call for them to all be sent away as they have no appeal and are simply abusive. Len Goodman once said “There’s no loyalty at the BBC” when Arlene Phillips was sacked as a judge over ageism for then celeb dancer turned judge Alesha Dixon, now on a rival show instead.

BBC soapie Kellie Bright bumped her way up the board out the starting blocks first with lovable pro Kevin Clifton. Kev’s jumps and bops were a bit flat to the theme with Kellie standing on the spot. She tried to impress and it was okay. She did well considering but needs more oomph and movement to get going. More a steps check list and too much concentration took away from the joy of it. Moderate.

Second out was Anthony Ogogo, an Olympic boxer still clinging on to his loose fame from 2012 which wasn’t all that impressive. Got to get some ‘hard men’ on the show innit? Anthony Ogogo, some random boxer there to bump up ‘the black vote’ and ‘get the girls interested in any old thing’ vote was a shameful approach by the Beeb, who had been under increasing pressure to interest and add in ‘more black faces’ to a closed off BBC. He provided his no mark status with a thrill. He ripped his trousers in his performance. Please. Not another ‘knickers in the air over someone who isn’t remotely attractive’ vote once again. Strictly is so poor it thinks its unnoticeable and invincible. A sixty something old woman produces the show and is usually bitter and nasty to honest critique. How sad for the show. BBC executives have now faced a Licence fee query after its failure to act on the not so fulfilling programming decisions at the top. BBC never act on its own stuff. It never learns.The bronze medallist did a Jive. Eek. This was all over the place and those kicks were limp. It had no enthusiasm and was plain boring despite Oti’s attempts to include great content. It was a jolly tea time granny house ensemble that wasn’t fulfilling.

Ogogo 'aving a go.

Hunk. Ogogo ‘aving a go.

Helen George from a BBC show called Call the Midwife, (?) gained her celeb status (?) joining hunky, joyous funseeker and former winner Aljaz. She took the lead on Friday’s showcase. For the first week footing it was awe inspiring, graceful and breathtaking. She really put the effort in and Aljaz always works his magic. Stunning start.

Carol Kirkwood’s cloudy performance thundered to the bottom few. Her poor start took too long to get started with a stupid weathergirl map reading and her over-plushed hooters taking centre stage. Again it was all about puns. She had last year’s champ by proxy Pasha Kovalev. Her legs, stalled time, distance and empty moments did not please.

Irish crooner Daniel O’Donnell, the granny favourite, took to the floor with maneater Kristina Rihanoff, playing the victim after her tempestuous unprofessionalism sleeping with many ex-partners from the show. She is now dating last year’s contestant Ben Cohen, who split from his wife since. Strictly have not acted at all in reprimanding her. O’Donnell’s performance was noticeably weak and diluted. It lacked key ingredients and the toll on Kristina’s professional choreography showed. Without a stunning beau, she couldn’t be bothered. It was boring and mistimed.

Presenter Anita Rani from BBC’s Countryfile and One Show but not Four Rooms threw herself into the competition with great enthusiasm. Her Cha Cha was refreshing and vibrant. Bruno agreed. Some mistakes were obvious, but for a first start, and no hanging back, Rani could work her way up. She’s happy to get gorgeous Gleb and will need to not be embarrassed by closer working body contact with the fairly okay floppy haired stunner. There’s definitely worse to look at.

rani 1

Saturday brings the remaining celebs to the floor for their first performances. First up is Jay McGuiness and Aliona Vilani. He’s an singer from a boyband that collapsed after failing the big-time. I know you were scratching your heads. Their Cha Cha to Reach Out I’ll Be There was nervous, stiff and unnatural.

Some old bird who used to be sports presenting gold in Kirsty Gallagher followed with Brendan Cole. They chose the Waltz to break in their first week easy. Her hands were nimble and considerably efforted but lacked some strong rise and fall. Nerves but composed. Finish out of hold was wayward choice and another ‘cheat’ mechanism Brendan often employs in underhand tactics once more.

Up next are stick insect ‘take the stick out man’ Jeremy Vine and “all teeth and no substance” Karen Clifton nee., Hauer. Ooh, she finally got married to Kevin. Well done to Kev but on Strictly she has been less than to be desirable. Let’s see what this series brings. Jeremy portrays a wooden, disjointed, rigid performance which sees judge Craig agree. “Disjointed, flat-footed” were among his critique. The rest of the judges lied through their teeth. It was not good enough.

Time to swoon over Strictly’s obsessed new hunk Giovanni Pernice. (Ugh) It seems Strictly are more in love with him than anyone else. Not much room for objectivity, is there? He’s joining soap sexpot and pint sized looker Georgia May Foote. There was no-one else really. They are bravely attempting a Jive. In week one! Giovanni lived up to his disgrace by “looking up her skirt” in the jarring performance. Real nice BBC. Slutty perversion on prime time tele and family entertainment with kids watching? They tried to have fast energy among their flirtatious showmance. It felt more tacky than technical and the steps were clunky. Darcey was predictably in love with the hunk. Get a grip, love. If ever there was a poster girl for hot flush menopause.

Up next is the people’s star of the night, good time chef and all round lovely Ainsley Harriott and partner Natalie Lowe. A Tango to Voulez-Vous gave some pouts and spouts from the cooking pro. Simple choreography for a starting performance complemented well and gave Ainsley decent showtime to impress as a novice. Ains went a bit off key with some energetic oomph towards the end, which was a good time booster. No one is eliminated this week so a cheeky insert it may be. It pleased the crowds. Len said it “captured the flavour if not always the technique.”

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BBC proms presenter Katie Derham is dancing with housewives favourtie Anton Du Beke. They too are going with a Jive. She made the best of her legs, adding bounce and rhythm but lacked a finer finesse. Decent but loose. She tried.

So called athlete of the past and ever changing his sexuality, Iwan Thomas is dancing with leggy sprite Ola Jordan. Thomas is heterosexual at this time. A Tango to Keep On Running is the predictable song choice. Thomas chose to act all manly and bravado with something more than dance aptitude to prove. This one has issues. He forgot the essence of dance and went too forward with sharp attack with attitude. It really was hit and miss. It looked poor. Was he running a Strictly marathon on the floor? Craig once more provided the honest critique with FalseFabs in spirit. “gappy, lumpy and his bottom was projecting.” Anything for the votes, Craig. Bruno gave a fun critique of Iwan as “plodded through it like an oxen with a heavy load” with disgusting sexual undertones as per usual.

Saving the best for last. Strictly’s two most likely winners in Jamelia and Peter Andre. Jamelia went first with hunky Irish stud Tristan McManus. Do Right Woman by soul goddess Aretha Franklin was a perfect choice to start. A few footing problems arose but was moderately impressive with grace and slow, careful dance incorporation. It had a smooth feel, despite some noticeable errors. It’s week one, those are allowed when performing well with increased effort and care.

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Happy couple.

Brace yourselves ladies and some gents. Peter Andre is closing the show. He’s given the pocket rocket dynamite footstepper Janette Manrara. These could be our deserving winners. Ain’t No Other Man’s Cha Cha was cheeky, lots of steps and motions and fun to watch. There was a buzz and a natural appeal to both. Their partnership was red hot. Janette once more proved how much a pro she is. Strictly will probably do like Iveta and sack her next year. They fire all the good ones. Pete and Janette are capable of leaner stuff and proved flexible enough to deliver in coming weeks. We shall see. Impressive start.

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For its first night back, Strictly wasn’t better than its line-up last year. It has only two standouts the show is built around and is poorly sourced by BBC luv-ins and a few spares. None of them look impressive and is all about BBC showing off once more. The sad and pathetic ‘Hunk votes’ rear their ugly heads again which puts Strictly and the BBC back into a sad state of nothing about dancing or entertainment. What part of entertainment is loosely filled on sex appeal only, and a lacking attempt at that? BBC admitted the show is nearing its end. The 60+ granny making the show may have advanced that further and the BBC are to blame for taking no action to find suitable and accurate replacements even when FalseFabs was available. BBC is hammering its own nails. It might be over with soon enough. It was not one bit about the dancing or entertainment. It was still better than cruddy X Factor though! Changes need to be made or BBC and Strictly are finished.

Scores

Kellie and Kevin – 6, 7, 7, 7 (6) – 27

Tango, You Really Got Me – The Kinks

Anthony and Oti – 4, 5, 6, 6 (4) – 21

Jive, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham!

Helen and Aljaz – 7, 7, 7, 8 (7) – 29

Waltz, With You I’m Born Again – Billy Preston and Syreeta Wright

Carol and Pasha – 2, 5, 5, 4 (2) – 16

Cha Cha Cha, Thunder In My Heart – Leo Sayer

Daniel and Kristina – 4, 6, 6, 7 (4) – 24

Waltz, When Irish Eyes Are Smiling – Bing Crosby

Anita and Gleb – 6, 7, 7, 7 (7) – 27

Cha Cha Cha, Rather Be – Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne

Jay and Aliona – 5, 8, 7, 7 (5) – 27

Cha Cha Cha, Reach Out I’ll Be There – Human Nature

Kirsty and Brendan – 4, 5, 6, 5 (4) (Point docked for cheating) – 20

Waltz, Vincent – Don MacLean

Jeremy and Karen – 2, 6, 6, 5 (2) – 19

Cha Cha Cha, September – Earth, Wind and Fire

Georgia and Giovanni – 6, 7, 7, 7 (5) – 27

Jive, Dear Future Husband – Meghan Trainor

Ainsley and Natalie – 4, 5, 6, 5 (5) – 20

Tango, Voulez-Vous – ABBA

Katie and Anton – 6, 6, 7, 7 (5) – 26

Jive, Roll Over Beethoven – Chuck Berry

Iwan and Ola – 3, 5, 5, 4 (2) – 17

Tango, Keep On Running – The Spencer Davis Group

Jamelia and Tristan – 4, 6, 6, 5 (5) – 21

Waltz, Do Right Woman, Do Right Man – Aretha Franklin

Peter and Janette – 7, 8, 8, 7 (7) – 30

Cha Cha, Aint No Other Man – Christina Aguilera

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