Strictly opens for week number four of the glitzy dance contest. We can instantly see Kevin’s geeky yet chic-cy braces. Back are the judges Craig Revel Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli, alongside our professional opinion in brackets.
Also back fit and well is Sir Bruce Forsyth and glamour girl Tess Daly.
Sophie and Brendan
Cheek to Cheek – Dick Haynmes
Cop out dance again in Ballroom.
Decent into hold around but very slow and seemingly stiff facially. Very slow and easy to musicality. Good turn around. Really boring and minor footsteps. Reliant on turns only. Uber safe and rubbish. No real partnership shown.
Craig will be having hip operation soon. Wished well by colleagues.
Len – No messing about, straight into routine. Loved the routine. Loved the dancing
BT- Really look like a Hollywood star. Sustain (inaudible).
CRH – Elegant, graceful. Fabulous pivots darling.
DB – Really gave Sophie a hard foxtrot. Let shoulders rise. Style and grace all way through. Beautiful.
8, 9, 9, 9 (4)
Bulls**t factor continues. It was nowhere near an 8 or 9, but hey, BBC wants to keep her in.
Fiona and Anton
World of Our Own – Westlife
Spin around. Looks lost. Slow stopping in middle before next move. Glide along release throw uneventful. Spinning on spot good for Fiona. Mild, boring and drab despite effort.
BT – Packing enticing at beginning. Few issues. With Fluidity. You know. Can’t just stop and start. I still think you have it but concentrate sustaining your performance. We all make mistakes.
CRH – Hip action very, very stiff and plonky. Exit from floor spin a bizarre jump lacked bit of rhythm. Balance went.
DB – You do lose focus. Please don’t show it. So much in you, you’ve got to survive. Bring out the fighter.
LG – Rumba is such a slow, precise dance. Liked attitude.
Fiona- I thought there was only one issue, at the end?
LG – I enjoyed watching you as I always do.
4, 6, 6, 6 (3)
Mark and Iveta
U Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer
Urban rap and hip hop. Rock fingers. Bless you Brucie but that’s the rock fingers pose. Ghetto Blaster. Bit half hearted, hand and finger moves only. Stand on the spot dancing. Slapstick moves.
CRH – have to say cant believe the audience. Very flat footed and stompy. Danced, I’m afraid, very badly.
DB – Great action. It was great. Worked hard on the details. Loved it.
LG – You’re full of talent, I won’t tell you what Craig’s full off. Do it again.
BT – MC Mark! Plenty of bling I tell you. Was unique and memorable and very funny.
3, 8, 8, 7 (1)
Ashley and Ola
Angel – Sarah McLachlan
Slow walk up and back into arm hold. Caress the air. Bit blasély flim flam arms on Dawson. Very slow turn around on spot partnership. Ends center boring. Good start very boring. Anticlimactic.
DB – A little too safe. Elegance in your top line. Push yourself a little bit hard.
LG – Had romance, elegance. Little bit wafty on occasions. Needed, for me, bit more gusto.
BT – Didn’t mind wafting at all. Tender, romantic, give it more woof. Riot!
CRH – Only thing that bothered me were arms out of hold. Seemed unnatural. Quite bizarrely stiff.
7, 8, 8, 8 (5)
Julien and Janette
Spice Up Your Life – The Spice Girls
Hip gyration. Getting into dance. Glitzy Spin round. Strong split drop through. Decent arm work. Good half squat shimmy. Party spirit infectious.
LG – Liked your attitude. Needed bit more control. Dynamic, terrific.
BT – Definitely high on spice. I have to tell the truth, you threw yourself into it. You have to go with it. Worst thing is your timing. You’re trying so hard.
BF – He was on the beat more times.
CRH – No rotation whatsoever in hip. Lacked musicality, that is your problem I think.
DB – Fun and dynamic there. It is just your middle, but I think that was your best dance.
4, 6, 7, 6 (4)
Rachel and Pasha
Johnny Got a Boom Boom – Imelda May
Cracking safe. Pointless before getting into dance. Fair start around with Riley. Keeping up with time. Ticking the feet placement box. Decent. Trying but stuck in strictly limbo. Tick off the glitterball on your bingo cards! Safe again. Attire?
BT – Just about got away with it. What you need is control.
CRH – Thing really let that down was your top line. Looked like you flung about. Tighten your bum cheeks darling, then you will glide beautifully.
DB – Very challenging. Watch you don’t grip on his shoulder. Grip and core.
LG – Quantity of steps. As it went on you lost your posture a little. Lovely footwork. Focus.
5, 7, 7, 7 (5)
Ben and Kristina
Hard to Handle – The Black Crowes
Life size car situated in the centre as prop. Limp arms and walk. Points to pecs as defining feature. Walks around Kristina. Pulls shirt off to reveal vest to predictable girls screams. Catches Kristina and hurls her around and down. Steps over her and picks her up. Dips her down a bit. Rihanoff sits atop crotch and sways hair around. Also gives ‘gays’ the wrong and perverted connotation of disgust many in the community dislike. Lift? Allowed, but hardly any good with just Kristinea raised onto his crotch.
This week Ben made sure he did all the PR photoshoots for the ‘gays’ in only his pants and ironing in them. Pathetic attempt for votes that ruins the show, his ‘foundation’ and fragmented audiences he claims to continue to promote for them. As long as it supports his own, charity, with a lovely PR tweet, that’s all good, right?
CRH – Ticks every box.
DB – Certainly handle Kristina with ease. You’re having fun I love it .
Ben kisses Darcey.
LG – That was terrific.
BT – Surprisingly smooth. I want to see more of you.
8, 8, 8, 7 (3)
Are the judges on rohiponol? Biased bull and lame show tonight. Costing you whatever ‘credibility’ you supposedly have.
Deborah and Robin
Making your mind up – Bucks Fizz
Atop judges table, Bucks Fizzing. Robin pulls trousers off to glitz up. Glitter tights don’t count. Deb then removes to show a glitzy skirt, not tights. Big pull off only moment and lost lot of time as Deb was carried around by Robin. To improve need to step up the dance involvement than rely on Robin alone.
DB – Little soft. Missed confident self. This wasn’t your dance.
LG – Plenty of Fizz, gotta buck your feet up. Went wrong couple of times. Work on technique a bit.
BT – Light hearted fun. Technique wasn’t strong enough.
CRH – No real spring in your steps. Kicks very, very lame. Not your dance.
5, 6, 6, 6 (3)
Natalie and Artem
Yeah – Usher
Over sexualisation from BBC Strictly. When are we going to bury Jimmy Savile for good. BBC still allow such perversion to continue. It is coming from within.
Nat worried about early week rupturing her back. How will she fare?
Great jump up crossover steps from Gumede. Working baton very well. Into good spins around floor. Hopping along near perfection. Systematic, precise, in time feet. Keeping up with Artem. Good support drop down hold. Funky footwork from Artem. Great Jazz with Sass feel.
LG – Bit long getting started. Part in hold liked very much. Stopped in hold at short. Bit in hold I thought was great.
BT – Can’t believe level of dance in this short time. Like being there with you. You capture the spirit of the dance. Absolutely wonderful.
CRH – I agree. Loved the fusion of Quickstep and Jazz, There is not stopping you darling.
DB – Style just perfect. So much content.
9, 9, 8, 9 (8)
Patrick and Anya
Mercy – Duffy
Strong but no defining features. Can’t put a finger on why you would keep him around. What makes him a selling point? Great guy, good dancer but average with hazy memorability.
BT – Very sensual. Best dance yet.
CRH – Absolutely brilliant.
DB – So confident out of hold. You have an inner groove, I’m loving it.
LG – Its happy hour. Best dance ever.
8, 8, 9, 8 (5)
SCD starting to lose its selling point over X Factor by borrowing and playing to its crowd whilst over-sexualising everything on sustained levels of perversion.
Abbey and Aljaz
Say my name – Florence and the Machine
Long getting in hold. Smooth join up. Sharp turns and focal points. Good head spin. Strong partnership connection. Feet moving well. Bit walk along after. Wrap around leg on Aljaz ankle.
CRH – Used accents in music to brilliant effect. Attack, purpose. A-may-zing.
DB – Played very sexy, cool Tango. Great strength throughout.
LG – In ballroom you are a formidable couple. Punchy, dynamic. Terrific Tango.
BT – Power, drama, passion, beauty. You had it all.
9, 8 9, 9, (8)
Dave and Karen
Take It To The Limit – The Eagles
Kicks open red carpet. Awkward steps back and forth like “a peacock with constipation.” Trying to dance but took too long on week 4 after fun moments. Now enters a week 1 performance. Slow, mundane and disjointed. Jumps in glee of completion at end. Lift.
DB – Soften hose knees and travel.
LG – You’ve truly titivated yourself up. You try your hardest everytime.
BT – Still very, very nimble. Stuck on a point but is better.
CRH – Feel the music a lot more. Gaping going on. Nice to see serious Dave.
5, 6, 6, 6 (2)
Susanna and Kevin
Whenever, Wherever – Shakira
Jungle theme. Gets onto floor. Strong presence. Good body shakes. Seeing a lot of Kevin’s work but not much of Susanna on floor. Does strong sexy poses but not much movement with feet in hold.
LG – You gave it plenty of att- bit messy here and there. It was good
BT – If you got it flaunt it. So much energy into that dance, time you finished little messy.
CRH – Thought was a bit muddy. At times fighting, going against one another. Lost impact. Think you can go further. It’s just okay.
DB – Like the wild Samba Queen. Couple muddy bits. Straighten back leg.
6, 7, 8, 8 (5)
Well, we certainly ticked off a few more Bingo daubs. We’ll wait till results to upload the weekly card.
Julien, Patrick and Fiona
Results to follow…