Strictly Come Dancing 2014, Week 7
Tonight the seventh week begins after the outrageous Halloween special unveiling even more of the BBC’s past demons and constant corruption from within. It was a good thing to have servicemen honoured and in the studio, but BBC think people won’t see how full of it they are to use them for good publicity. Shame on you. Have a bit of class for the troops at least. All about trying to retain BBC favour not the honour of the service. No tact.
As ever the useless judging panel is back with the only credible judge Craig Revel-Horwood, Darcey Bussell, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli. Our honest and true score is in brackets among the over-marking hypocrisy on show t offer such clarity among the Strictly circus.
Simon and Kristina
I Got Rhythm – Bobby Darin
Simon jumps from the steps to the floor. Counts as one lift. Long time getting into hold after theatrics which added little to routine. Good spin through on spot turns. Smiley on spot dancing again becoming all box ticking to get through a dance and not really being free and going for it. Same position of progress again. Stuck to the same thing and did not really develop. All box ticking. Got to loose stiff, brainless attitude to being more freeloading.
Len – The Quicktep isn’t simple Simon. The boy from blue. Go the gold mile at Blackpool.
Bruno – Gave us plenty of glamour. You’re enjoying yourself. Having a good time on the dancefloor.
Craig – Posture could have been improved slightly. Have improved. Flew around that floor. Fast becoming a serious contender. (Who paid you to say that?)
Darcey – Terrific entrance.
7, 9, 9, 8 (7)
Caroline and Pasha
Three Times A Lady – Lionel Ritchie
Staring in a behind position looked more like a Rumba than a Waltz. Finally in-hold goo gliding along. Too slow, lacking something extra. Good tilt spins around. Bit wobbly but graceful moments. Trying hard. Bit wishy-washy though and lacking depth of a traditional Waltz. Was much more of a Rumba than anything.
Bruno – You put me in the mood. Total honesty about your commitment to what you do. Shoulders. Sometiime trembling.
Craig – Little bit blocky, your top line. Loved emotion.
Darcey – Smooth lady. Very romantic quality. Open shoulders, relax them.
Len – Little bit of tension. Dance requires so much control. Has got to show rise and fall. That was lacking little bit. Well done.
7, 8, 8, 8 (7)
Jake and Janette
Strangers in the Night – Frank Sinatra
Navy officer Jake smoothly manoeuvers Janette into hold perfectly. Good swivel hips in a timid and charismatic way. Not over done. Beautiful back lg dip from Janette. Good follow up dip down. Excellent glide along with Janette’s leg on shoulder. Very loving and smooth. Calm and sensual.
Craig – Hand shaping wasn’t particularly, very wooden. Dance little too safe and too subtle. Slightly disappointed.
Darcey – Very hard to achieve such sensuality all way through. I think you achieved that. Supported her very well.
Len – Little bit all at sea on hands. Hard dance for men. Acceptable wasn’t exceptional.
Bruno – Continuous motion, never stops. At times felt little bit jagged. Hard to strike a balance, especially for men. Brave attempt.
(Will Pixie, Frankie and Mark be marked highly? Judges always have their favourites or are they the producers? )
6, 7, 7, 7 (8) (What were they watching?)
Judy and Anton
I Fought the Law – The Clash
Here we are! Andy Murray is finally on a Strictly VT. BBC’s taxpayers payoff to book Judy on the show is now validated.
Judy Judy finds Anton “Guilty” off illegal lifting. Well at least someone listened. Judy stands in front of released Anton to remove cape and doesn’t move. Anton literally drags, moves and lifts her all around. Literally no effort or dancing at all. Absolutely disgraceful. Walks around slow with Anton couple paces before locking him back up. Horrendous. The epitome of rigormortis.
Darcey – Doesn’t carry though to moves. Every move has to be so exaggerated. Very good effort.
Len – Centre court to criminal court. Hope you come back for Blackpool cos I wanna see Craig’s face.
Bruno – Literally insane. Great achievement.
Craig – All very pedestrian. Walk all way through. (Anton argues.) At least a little bit of dancing. I’ve given up.
Zoe told to ask about and wish Andy Murray good luck. (Yawn.)
3, 5, 5, 5 (0)
Tess is eating a cone of chips in the audience. (?)
Sunetra and Brendan
All of Me – John Legend
Good start to the floor of Sunetra. Graceful. Smooth in-hold around. Tidy footwork. Bit slowed down afterward than usual. Good turnaround and grace in dance routine. Smooth and elegant.
Len – Couple of little incidents.
Sunetra – Yeah, that not happened before.
Len – As Henry VIII would say, take them to the tower. Blackpool tower!
Bruno – If you go wrong keep going and hardly anybody will notice. Don’t stumble and drop it.
Craig – Real shame. Had potential to really floor everybody. Became clunky. Lot of gaping. Beautiful routine. Well it would have been.
Darcey – One of best top lines. Little bit ploddy.
Brendan – you hit wrong foot. Only one bit went wrong. She did a great job. (Learn when to shut up ruining it for yourself Brendan. It’s not about you.)
7, 8, 8, 8 (8)
Alison and Aljaz
Friend Like Me – Robin Williams OST from Aladdin
Working feet very well. Great partnership with Aljaz with symmetrical routine. Strong character, jhuzz and attempt at turn lifting Aljaz. Great Jazz feel. Strong style, fun and enthusiastic work to end. Amazing. Alison even got to snog Aljaz.
Bruno – So vivacious. Affinity for slapstick. Kinda lost a little bit. Was charging like a locomotive.
Craig – Did enjoy routine. Very stylish, chic. Love your jazz hands don’t you? Wasn’t brilliant routine technically, but most enjoyable.
Darcey – So suits you. Improvement in your strength. Joy to watch.
Len – Right up your alley Alj. (Ally)
6, 7, 7, 7 (7)
Mark and Karen
Weekend In New England – Barry Manilow
Trying to be more manly, bellend Mark tried to get the bloke vote by playing football to show his leg skills.
The pair walk to each other and hold each other while smiling. Karen extends hands downward as Mark just stands there with arms around. Stands still and smiles outward. Tiny spin around and two steps along too wooden. Bad footwork. Lifts Karen around off the floor. Empty, lacking and pathetic.
Craig – Certainly amorous. Really enjoyed it.
Darcey – Becoming very expressive performer. Led Karen round the dancefloor. I was very impressed.
Len – Swing and sway was lacking a bit. Footwork was terrific. That was lovely.
Bruno – Tender, loving, so involving. You’re a keeper. Bit more swing in there, we can work on it. (Looks at Mark suggestively.)
7, 8, 8, 8 (6)
Frankie and Kevin
La Bamba – Connie Francis
Start bit naff. Good into hold swift and fun thrilling but too timid to drive full party atmosphere. Good flamenco footworking moments. Holding back a little. Not fully going for it. Too many inhibitions holding back. Bit of skirt wafting. Too pleasant, sweet and scared to do something risky. Fair but not thrilling. Or should that be frills. One of you hey Tess.
Darcey – Really pushed Frankie. Couple places, little hiccups. Like more of a sexier Smaba.
Len – Very fast routine, one or two incidents. Great song, routine and dancing.
Bruno – Couldn’t keep u with it. (Starts talking weird language. Need subtitles for the SAP?)
Craig – Worst dance yet.
Tess – What were you seeing?
Craig – That. (Finally someone telling a remote level of truth. Horray! Or is that Ole? Another one for you Tess.)
7, 8, 9, 8 (7)
Pixie and Trent
When I’m Sixty Four – The Beatles
Washer woman Pixie does some Victorian mangling with Trent. Very slow and awkward clap along style. Very drab and boring, All a spout of steps and nothing else. Bad routine could land her in bottom two. Good single leg turnaround. Decent work with steps but empty and bored.
Len – I love a mangle. Lovely, charming dance. Dance was charming.
Bruno – Housewife superstar. Original. Lot of character.
Craig – Gor-g-h-ous.
Darcey – You stretched yourself open. Well done. Fabulous.
9, 10, 8, 9 (7) (Seriously? That was not too grand, lets be honest.)
Steve and Ola
Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
Wafting his cape uselessly Steve cuddles Ola on her knees from behind. Lifts leg off ground and over Ola. Walk around in-hold arm moves limp. Jumps up and around on spot moving two feet adding nothing. intimidation very lacking and laughable. Spin around on floor of Ola only big moment. As pale as Ola’s green dress. Dip down to floor was empty. Only a few steps tapped.
Bruno – (Jumps up and screams.) Needs more refinement.
Craig – Vicious brute. Still in shock, quite frankly.
Darcey – In the upper body… (loses words and gushes.) So powerful, very masculine. Thought it was brilli-ANT!
Len – Frightened life out of me. Well done.
6, 8, 7, 7 (5)
Best dance of the night
Jake and Janette
(in no particular order )
Steve, Alison and Judy